Gorgeous in an Annoying Sort of Way
I've been trying to complete a third sequel/prequel for my story Those Things for a while now, and all I've managed to come up with are bits and pieces that don't even come together well enough to make the sort of bits-and-pieces story that Those Things is.
The first three happened pretty quickly, so I've been a little stumped as to why I've been unable to create Piece Number Four. (Or Three if Love and Pancakes is counted more as a Piece Two-and-a-Half.) It's not a lack of ideas, I have plenty of things that I know occur in this world/verse/thing, and I know the ways the characters feel, and I have a general idea of what sorts of things I want to write about.
It wasn't until recently that I think I've really figured out what might be keeping me back.
One of the goals I have in Those Things is that, while the polyfidelitous relationship between Spike, Buffy, and Angel is never completely equal (someone will feel just a little left out, someone will feel like they've been teamed up against in an argument (I'm completely blanking on a more eloquent way to phrase that (parentheception))) there should be some level of equality in the lack of equality. I try to put as much attention to each individual character and to each couple as I put to the trio as a whole. And to do this, I definitely need to understand how the characters feel about one another and why they feel the way that they feel.
And this is a problem. Because I have absolutely no idea why Buffy fell in love with Angel. None.
I know why I fell in love with Angel. I think I've got a decent grasp on why Cordelia did. And Darla. Drusilla. And I think I can make something decent from his relationship with Spike, whether or not it quite qualifies as love.
But... how did that creepy guy who stalked her into an alley, made it clear he knew way too much about her for having never met her, left her to fight her own fight, and was described as "...gorgeous, in an annoying sort of way," suddenly become Buffy's soulmate, despite their incredibly few interactions in the interim?
Angel's behaviour in the first season is, bluntly put, very disturbing. He stalks her, he spies on her, he keeps secrets, he's pretty detached emotionally, and, somehow, that makes Buffy fall wildly, madly, passionately in love with him.
As a viewer, I can look back and understand that what Buffy's seeing is something of a front. But Buffy didn't have this knowledge. Did she really, truly, genuinely fall for that creepy persona Angel has going?
The use of unhealthy relationships in media doesn't alarm me. The only problem I really have is when the relationship is presented as something romantic or to be idealised. And that almost seems to be what is going on in the early years of Bangel, and it makes me sad because, by the time 5.17 "Forever" rolled around, I realised I could kind of get behind Buffy and Angel. But it's not a story of redemption, the way it could have been handled. It was creepy, and now it's not, and it's sort of ignored that their relationship, when it began, was kind of alarming.
It's easy enough to chalk Buffy's love and angst up to the whole romantic teen drama sort of thing, but if I want it to work as a functioning, adult relationship, I really need to understand how and why she fell in love with him. Because she didn't get to see all the things I saw, the things that made me love Angel. So... why?
The first three happened pretty quickly, so I've been a little stumped as to why I've been unable to create Piece Number Four. (Or Three if Love and Pancakes is counted more as a Piece Two-and-a-Half.) It's not a lack of ideas, I have plenty of things that I know occur in this world/verse/thing, and I know the ways the characters feel, and I have a general idea of what sorts of things I want to write about.
It wasn't until recently that I think I've really figured out what might be keeping me back.
One of the goals I have in Those Things is that, while the polyfidelitous relationship between Spike, Buffy, and Angel is never completely equal (someone will feel just a little left out, someone will feel like they've been teamed up against in an argument (I'm completely blanking on a more eloquent way to phrase that (parentheception))) there should be some level of equality in the lack of equality. I try to put as much attention to each individual character and to each couple as I put to the trio as a whole. And to do this, I definitely need to understand how the characters feel about one another and why they feel the way that they feel.
And this is a problem. Because I have absolutely no idea why Buffy fell in love with Angel. None.
I know why I fell in love with Angel. I think I've got a decent grasp on why Cordelia did. And Darla. Drusilla. And I think I can make something decent from his relationship with Spike, whether or not it quite qualifies as love.
But... how did that creepy guy who stalked her into an alley, made it clear he knew way too much about her for having never met her, left her to fight her own fight, and was described as "...gorgeous, in an annoying sort of way," suddenly become Buffy's soulmate, despite their incredibly few interactions in the interim?
Angel's behaviour in the first season is, bluntly put, very disturbing. He stalks her, he spies on her, he keeps secrets, he's pretty detached emotionally, and, somehow, that makes Buffy fall wildly, madly, passionately in love with him.
As a viewer, I can look back and understand that what Buffy's seeing is something of a front. But Buffy didn't have this knowledge. Did she really, truly, genuinely fall for that creepy persona Angel has going?
The use of unhealthy relationships in media doesn't alarm me. The only problem I really have is when the relationship is presented as something romantic or to be idealised. And that almost seems to be what is going on in the early years of Bangel, and it makes me sad because, by the time 5.17 "Forever" rolled around, I realised I could kind of get behind Buffy and Angel. But it's not a story of redemption, the way it could have been handled. It was creepy, and now it's not, and it's sort of ignored that their relationship, when it began, was kind of alarming.
It's easy enough to chalk Buffy's love and angst up to the whole romantic teen drama sort of thing, but if I want it to work as a functioning, adult relationship, I really need to understand how and why she fell in love with him. Because she didn't get to see all the things I saw, the things that made me love Angel. So... why?