public service announcement: flist cut; there's really no way to not look like a dick on this
as these things do, i have a reason. i'm trucking along last night, being outrageous and ridiculous and fun and witty, and then bam! it was like i hit a brick wall, a brick wall of melancholy or whatever the fuck you want to call it. so i went through and deleted a bunch of posts, made more private, i just deleted my twitter--which, okay, considering my wall of melancholy was made of some serious loneliness and insecurity, separating myself from people maybe isn't the best, but again, whatever.
but that wall did make me think about what i'm doing on the internet, and what exactly i hope to accomplish for holing up in my room with fernando for five hour stretches at a time. and while i didn't come to a conclusion, i did realize that my presence on the internet shouldn't include me being disappointed in myself--i do that enough in rl, thank you very much--and it shouldn't be me kowtowing to my notions of what people want from me--again, rl yo.
this means that you were probably cut because:1. i don't comment in your journal, or vice versa
2. i don't know what's going on in your life, and vice versa
3. we met a long time ago, but now have very little in common
you WERE NOT cut because: 1. i hate you; i don't hate anyone who is on my flist, cut or no cut.
2. you were mean to me in some serious dick-ish way; if anything, i probably slighted you. feel free to blame me, i already do.
seriously, this is not a vendetta thing. as school gets closer and closer it's becoming more and more clear that i have little time to dick around on lj, so i'm trying to distance myself and keep things to the essentials. i feel like a burden to myself, best not to burden myself on others, or something.
thank you,
megan.
comments screened.
but that wall did make me think about what i'm doing on the internet, and what exactly i hope to accomplish for holing up in my room with fernando for five hour stretches at a time. and while i didn't come to a conclusion, i did realize that my presence on the internet shouldn't include me being disappointed in myself--i do that enough in rl, thank you very much--and it shouldn't be me kowtowing to my notions of what people want from me--again, rl yo.
this means that you were probably cut because:1. i don't comment in your journal, or vice versa
2. i don't know what's going on in your life, and vice versa
3. we met a long time ago, but now have very little in common
you WERE NOT cut because: 1. i hate you; i don't hate anyone who is on my flist, cut or no cut.
2. you were mean to me in some serious dick-ish way; if anything, i probably slighted you. feel free to blame me, i already do.
seriously, this is not a vendetta thing. as school gets closer and closer it's becoming more and more clear that i have little time to dick around on lj, so i'm trying to distance myself and keep things to the essentials. i feel like a burden to myself, best not to burden myself on others, or something.
thank you,
megan.
comments screened.