Yesterday, all our troubles seemed so far away...
I fainlly left apple.... and went to Meijer. It's not much better really, but atleast I get paid weekly. So I must keep that in mind while I deal with the constant drone of idiots.. day in day out... some people are more pleasent than others. I just wish they understood that the whole media area is all mine.. and the lab.. Ug.
Ricky and I are friends again. Thank god. It was really weird at first. I can't explane it... it just was. We actually hung out too. It was so odd and different from last time. Last time I laughed and wrestled with him and joked with him... but it was all flirting. That isn't our friendship anymore. We confind in each other. It's still weird... because I have to watch the words I use.. and not let myself get too conferble with him. Though I want to be really close to him. I long for the closeness of a friend once again. He calls me his best friend though...
*sigh* I have lost all the ones I thought where true to me. Lindsay hasn't spoken to me in forever- pretty much since she dropped out of high school, Kat and I talk from time to time, but she has this horrible "I know everything and i'm always right" attitude- which I can't stand. Which makes her hard to hang out with. Amber is busy with work, or with Brad... and she has this tendancy not to pick up her phone or respond to me... so pretty much the only people I have left to talk to in this world- Eddie and Ricky... weird? YES.
On another odd note- Eddie is apart of the group now. Formally know as BARR. Ricky and Eddie have actually hung out together... and they seem to get along fine, though it still makes me feel weird...
I'm tring to rekindle the friendship I had with Tash. We're going to be hanging out Thursday which should be really fun. We're going to do a photoshoot... ^.^ I hope he wares a pair of sturdy shoes.. lol. We haven't lost our friendship.. he just went away to college and I hadn't been able to see him in so very long. >.< Yet he's back, and for good. YAY. So now that he lives back home again, I might be able to see him more often. That would be wonderful.
I have been rather down lately though. It seems that I live in the past... and too often I find myself thinking about all the things I have done, and all the ways I screwed up... and how I wish I could just fix it all and make everyone come back to me. I use to have so many friends I didn't know what to do with myself. *sigh* but that was nearly two years ago.
Chris fucked us over- so he's on my perminate shit list.... and yet he wants to have us back?! hahahha never. He may get eddie to talk to him, but he will never see me, nor get a kind word from me.
Lindsay just.... dropped out. We stopped talking. We where so close to graduating.. and yet she wimpped out and took the easier road. Which I hated her for it. I hated how much time she spent with my boyfriend... god. All they did really was sit around and get stoned... all the time. Senior year was up in smoke for us. And I hated myself for doing it... resently, anyways. I quit smoking- both things, and I really hated myself for ever doing it to begin with. Really. Hanna... her parents where really strick with what she could do when and stuff... so that didn't last. Aaron just stopped calling one day, white Aaron only called for green... but I don't like being used, so I pretty much said fuck that.... Anthony stopped calling and stopped responding to me as well... I really do miss Aaron Oneal and Anthony. We use to have so much fun together. BARR still hangs out, but like I said.. with eddie joining us so we are now BEARR. Ugg. Pretty much everyone fadded away. Either I smoked too much- and they didn't like me for that, or they did too many other drugs and I didn't like that... either way we all stopped talking.
Ricky and I are chatting about the past... his old blogs, and mine... which has lead me back here. I use to write so much, I still do- but on myspace... I guess I will start writting here more often. It was always a nice place. I had Tash here.... and anthony... which I use to have this HUGE thing for. He was totally hot and smexy in every way, and I totally couldn't have him. I was with an asshole- glenn, and he had someone... and I doubt he ever even thought of me that way. It's so cute though.. how I use to get all giddy about him when he came around. The night that Cg, Anthony, Eddie, and I sat around playing Kings and drinking... was really fun.. and I didn't think of Anthony like that anymore. He was just a really gorgious guy who I was lucky to be friends with. Plus I had Amy.. which was his sister.. LOL... and Cg... I do miss Cg, and Amanda... they where both so sweet and nice to me all the time. *hugs* Loved them both to pieces.
Well.. I think I will end here, for today. I have to run and do some things before I head off to work. 4-10 tonight.. ug. >.<
Oh, I took this quiz on Facebook-
what Beatles song discribes your life right Now?
Yesterday
You have a tendency to focus on the past: past mistakes, past happiness, past love. Everything seems easier and simpler in retrospect. You are quite sentimental and you have a good heart. As your life progresses, a lot of things you once valued will become unimportant to you, and some of the things you did not care about before will become extremely valuable to you. Maturity will sharpen your perspective, but those happy, simple times of coloring and tag will always remain in your memory. And waiting just ahead of you are even more wonderful memories to be made.
Ricky and I are friends again. Thank god. It was really weird at first. I can't explane it... it just was. We actually hung out too. It was so odd and different from last time. Last time I laughed and wrestled with him and joked with him... but it was all flirting. That isn't our friendship anymore. We confind in each other. It's still weird... because I have to watch the words I use.. and not let myself get too conferble with him. Though I want to be really close to him. I long for the closeness of a friend once again. He calls me his best friend though...
*sigh* I have lost all the ones I thought where true to me. Lindsay hasn't spoken to me in forever- pretty much since she dropped out of high school, Kat and I talk from time to time, but she has this horrible "I know everything and i'm always right" attitude- which I can't stand. Which makes her hard to hang out with. Amber is busy with work, or with Brad... and she has this tendancy not to pick up her phone or respond to me... so pretty much the only people I have left to talk to in this world- Eddie and Ricky... weird? YES.
On another odd note- Eddie is apart of the group now. Formally know as BARR. Ricky and Eddie have actually hung out together... and they seem to get along fine, though it still makes me feel weird...
I'm tring to rekindle the friendship I had with Tash. We're going to be hanging out Thursday which should be really fun. We're going to do a photoshoot... ^.^ I hope he wares a pair of sturdy shoes.. lol. We haven't lost our friendship.. he just went away to college and I hadn't been able to see him in so very long. >.< Yet he's back, and for good. YAY. So now that he lives back home again, I might be able to see him more often. That would be wonderful.
I have been rather down lately though. It seems that I live in the past... and too often I find myself thinking about all the things I have done, and all the ways I screwed up... and how I wish I could just fix it all and make everyone come back to me. I use to have so many friends I didn't know what to do with myself. *sigh* but that was nearly two years ago.
Chris fucked us over- so he's on my perminate shit list.... and yet he wants to have us back?! hahahha never. He may get eddie to talk to him, but he will never see me, nor get a kind word from me.
Lindsay just.... dropped out. We stopped talking. We where so close to graduating.. and yet she wimpped out and took the easier road. Which I hated her for it. I hated how much time she spent with my boyfriend... god. All they did really was sit around and get stoned... all the time. Senior year was up in smoke for us. And I hated myself for doing it... resently, anyways. I quit smoking- both things, and I really hated myself for ever doing it to begin with. Really. Hanna... her parents where really strick with what she could do when and stuff... so that didn't last. Aaron just stopped calling one day, white Aaron only called for green... but I don't like being used, so I pretty much said fuck that.... Anthony stopped calling and stopped responding to me as well... I really do miss Aaron Oneal and Anthony. We use to have so much fun together. BARR still hangs out, but like I said.. with eddie joining us so we are now BEARR. Ugg. Pretty much everyone fadded away. Either I smoked too much- and they didn't like me for that, or they did too many other drugs and I didn't like that... either way we all stopped talking.
Ricky and I are chatting about the past... his old blogs, and mine... which has lead me back here. I use to write so much, I still do- but on myspace... I guess I will start writting here more often. It was always a nice place. I had Tash here.... and anthony... which I use to have this HUGE thing for. He was totally hot and smexy in every way, and I totally couldn't have him. I was with an asshole- glenn, and he had someone... and I doubt he ever even thought of me that way. It's so cute though.. how I use to get all giddy about him when he came around. The night that Cg, Anthony, Eddie, and I sat around playing Kings and drinking... was really fun.. and I didn't think of Anthony like that anymore. He was just a really gorgious guy who I was lucky to be friends with. Plus I had Amy.. which was his sister.. LOL... and Cg... I do miss Cg, and Amanda... they where both so sweet and nice to me all the time. *hugs* Loved them both to pieces.
Well.. I think I will end here, for today. I have to run and do some things before I head off to work. 4-10 tonight.. ug. >.<
Oh, I took this quiz on Facebook-
what Beatles song discribes your life right Now?
Yesterday
You have a tendency to focus on the past: past mistakes, past happiness, past love. Everything seems easier and simpler in retrospect. You are quite sentimental and you have a good heart. As your life progresses, a lot of things you once valued will become unimportant to you, and some of the things you did not care about before will become extremely valuable to you. Maturity will sharpen your perspective, but those happy, simple times of coloring and tag will always remain in your memory. And waiting just ahead of you are even more wonderful memories to be made.