MERLIN 3x02: IN WHICH ARTHUR AND MERLIN'S MARRIAGE IS MADE CANON
THIS SHOW, MY GOD. WHUT, I DON’T - CANNOT POSSIBLY ARTICULATE
YOU CANNOT POSSIBLY DENY THAT ARTHUR AND MERLIN ARE SO FUCKING MARRIED AFTER THIS EPISODE. LIKE OMG, IT’S NOT EVEN A QUESTION OF EVIDENCE AND SCENE MANIPULATION. IT’S ALL RIGHT THERE!!
FIRST WE MUST REMEMBER THE IMPORTANT THINGS FROM LAST WEEK:
MORGANA IS RETURNED. UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF HER SISTER’S INTOXICATING PHEROMONES TO DESTROY CAMELOT. UTHER IS GOING MAD AND MERLIN GETS LOCKED UP IN BONDAGE CHAINS. HE HAS SOME MAGIC SEX WITH SAID CHAINS AND THEN THE DRAGON FLYS HIM AWAY LOOKING LIKE HE JUST CAME OVER 9000 TIMES.
AND SO WE BEGIN!
MERLIN TURNS OVER TO FIND THE DRAGON WATCHING HIM.
MERLIN LOOKS EXHAUSTIVELY HAPPY THAT THE DRAGON CAME TO HIM.
THE DRAGON “COULD NOT RESIST A DRAGONLORD”.
OMG I AM IN PAIN WITH HOW MUCH I AM CRYING WITH LAUGHTER. MERLIN IS SHAKING AND SWEATING AND GROANING, ALL WHILE BEING *GRATEFUL* TO THE DRAGON. FUCK, THOSE ARE TOTALLY METAPHORS AND SEX EUPHEMISMS. WITH A NAME LIKE ‘DRAGON’, WELL. WHAT ELSE DO YOU EXPECT ME TO SAY?!?!
CUT TO CAMELOT, WHERE ARTHUR IS NOT COPING WITHOUT HIS MERLIN.
HE STORMS INTO GAIUS’S CHAMBERS, LOOKING MIGHTY FINE AND SHOUTING ABOUT NEEDING CLEAN SOCKS AND BREECHES AND OMFG MY BRAIN JUST EXPLODED. FIC HAS COMPLETELY RUINED ME. I IMMEDIATE ASSOCIATE BREECHES WITH SEX AND THEN MY BRAIN GOES INTO MELTDOWN. BECAUSE IT IS ON MY SCREEN AND HOLY FUCKING SHIT, ARTHUR IS ANGRY THAT MERLIN IS NOT ATTENDING HIM.
YOU SEE THAT NIPPLE POKING OUT THERE? IT IS ANTICIPATING THE ANGRY SEX HE IS GOING TO HAVE WITH MERLIN UPON DRAGGING HIM OUT OF BED, ALL RUFFLED AND RASPY.
GAIUS INFORMS HIM THAT “HE PRESUMED MERLIN WAS WITH [ARTHUR]”.
OMFG, SO MERLIN MAKES A HABIT OF NOT COMING HOME AT NIGHT? DID GAIUS JUST STATE ON THE RECORD THAT MERLIN MAKES A HABIT OF BEING WITH ARTHUR? AT. NIGHT.
AAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
ARTHUR DID NOT GET HIS NIGHTLY SEXING AND NOW IS DOUBLY MAD BECAUSE MERLIN HAS DISAPPEARED. OMFGOD, HE’S JUST LASHING OUT BECAUSE HE IS SO TOTALLY DEPENDENT ON MERLIN, HE JUST WON’T ADMIT IT.
I MEAN, THERE ARE OTHER SERVANTS, RIGHT?
WE’LL COME BACK TO THIS LATER. OH YES.
BECAUSE RIGHT NOW MORGANA IS SNEAKING AROUND LIKE A RIGHT SNEAK. SPYING ON SIR LEON, BECAUSE HE IS MIGHTILY FINE AND WHO WOULDN’T?
OH, BUT INSTEAD SHE JUST SMOKES THEM OUT. THAT WAS RATHER INTELLIGENT, WHICH IS MORE THAN I CAN SAY FOR MERLIN’S SNEAKING ABOUT, USING NOT-SO-SNEAKY MAGIC. XDD
SHE GOES TO UTHER, WHO IS LOOKING WITHOUT SEEING. D:
SHE SNAPS SOME MANDRAKE’S LEGS TO HEAR SOME SHRIEKING. COZ IT WAS IN HER SUGAR DADDY’S BED.
UTHER CANNOT UNSEE!
MORGANA IS ALL ~DELIGHTFUL~
LOL, NOT GOING TO THAT KINKY PLACE, NO SIR. *BEATS CONSCIOUS INTO SUBMISSION*
CUTTING BACK TO MERLIN. WHO HAS BEEN SLEEPING. OMFG, BEDTALK MUCH. WITH THE SLASH DRAGON OMFG. HE MENTIONS SOMETHING ABOUT SCORPION PEEN’S VENOM BEING TOO STRONG FOR EVEN MERLIN’S GREAT PROWESS.
NERGGG, HE STANDS UP WITH THIS FUCKING LOOK ON HIS FACE. A;LKGJALKLJ THIS IS WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE WHEN HE WAKES UP IN THE MORNING, IN ARTHUR’S BED (AS PREVIOUSLY DISCUSSED).
IT IS A MIGHTY FINE FUCKING LOOK, Y/Y?
MERLIN ADMITS TO THE DRAGON THAT EVEN THOUGH HE LOVES MORGANA, HE SHOULD HAVE LISTENED TO THE DRAGON WHEN HE TOLD HIM THAT SHE WAS EVIL. HE LOVES HER BUT SHE LEFT HIM TO DIE! D': MERLIN IS QUITE CONCERNED ABOUT THIS SMALL FACT.
THE DRAGON HOWEVER, BLESS HIS SOUL, SEEMS TO BE TRYING TO COMFORT MERLIN - TELLING HIM THAT THE MERLIN/MORGANA SHIP IS TOTALLY VALID BECAUSE THEY ARE ALIKE. MAYBE THIS IS HIM, TRYING TO MAKE UP FOR WHAT AN ARSE HE WAS AT THE END OF LAST SEASON, MAKING MERLIN CHOSE BETWEEN ARTHUR AND MORGANA. COZ THAT SHIT JUST WASN’T NICE.
MERLIN ISN’T QUITE SURE WHAT TO MAKE OF THAT.
THE DRAGON GETS ALL PROPHETIC AND PREDICTS THAT MERLIN AND MORGANA’S FUTURES ARE NOW JOINED FOREVER. OMFGOD, MARRIED THROUGH MAGIC. I LIKE THE WAY YOU THINK, DRAGON! ESPECIALLY WITH ALL THIS “DARKNESS-LIGHT” “HATRED-LOVE”.
I SEE SOME PARTICULARLY FUCKING EPIC SEX COMING FROM THIS PREDICTION, DON’T YOU? ANGRY LOVE MAKING FTW!!!!!
HAVE I MENTIONED THAT THE DRAGON’S CGI IS LOOKING PARTICULARLY LOVELY THIS EPISODE?
PRETTY!
ANYWAY, MERLIN INSISTS THAT HE HAS TO GET BACK TO CAMELOT TO BE WITH HIS BOYFRIEND AND THAT HE HAS EVERY INTENTION OF RIDING THE DRAGON ALL THE WAY THERE.
HE EVEN GIVES THE DRAGON THIS SMUSHY FUCKING SMIRK OF ADORABLENESS.
HOW COULD THE DRAGON RESIST THAT LOOK?
THAT’S RIGHT, HE CAN’T. SO MR ROLEPLAY HIPPOGRIFF HE GIVES MERLIN A RIDING WILD TIME ALL THE WAY BACK TO CAMELOT.
HE LOOKS LIKE HE’S ENJOYING HIMSELF. OMFG HIS HAPPY-FACE IS AMONG ONE OF THE GREATEST THINGS ON THIS EARTH.
THEY LAND IN A SUSPICIOUSLY FAMILIAR FIELD.
LULZ, I SEE YOU, CLEARING IN WHICH THE FINAL DRAGON VS MERLIN SHOWDOWN WENT DOWN. 8DD
MERLIN RUNS TO WAKE GAIUS AND FAIL TO DRESS HIM IN A HURRY. LOL OH MERLIN, YOU ARE SO CUTE WHEN YOUR INEPT.
MERLIN “DOESN’T HAVE TIME TO EXPLAIN” YET HE MANAGES TO DO A PRETTY GOOD JOB OF IT WITH THE WHOLE “MORGANA IN LEAGUE WITH MORGAUSE” SUMMARY. XD
HE LEADS THEM TO UTHER’S BEDCHAMBERS (HOHO! YOU NAUGHTY THING MERLIN), PRESUMABLY TO FIND THE MANDRAKE DILDO. ONCE THEY GET THERE THOUGH, THERE IS NO TIME FOR MISCHIEF, BECAUSE UTHER HAS RANSACKED HIS BEDROOM (AND SET FIRE TO IT). THE POOR BB, HE LOOKS SO HEART-WRENCHINGLY BROKEN RIGHT HERE.
GAIUS RUSHES IMMEDIATELY TO HIS BOYFRIENDS’ SIDE.
MERLIN REALISES WHAT HE HAS TO DO TO STOP UTHER FROM GOING MAD AND CHUCKS THE MANDRAKE IN THE FIRE, AND IT PUTS A STOP TO THE ENCHANTMENT.
GAIUS COMFORTS HIS BOYFRIEND, THEN PUTS HIM TO BED.
AWWW~~~ THESE TWO ♥
AFTER, MERLIN CONFIRMS THAT HE DOESN’T UNDERSTAND HOW THE NOBILITY MINDSET WORKS, AND SOMEHOW FORGETS HE’S IN THE PAST, BECAUSE THERE IS NO WAY UTHER IS GOING TO BELIEVE SERVANTS TELLING HIM THAT HIS WARD IS EVIL. LISTEN TO GAIUS HERE MERLIN, HE IS THE ONE WITH THE BRAINS!
UTHER IS BLIND TO MORGANA’S FAULTS! AWW~~ UTHER!!!
ELSEWHERE, IN THE WHITE MOUNTAINS ... ERR, I MEAN ALBION, THE ORCS ENEMY IS PROGRESSING TOWARD CAMELOT.
SIR LEON AKA KNIGHT SIR-FINE BAMF SEES SAID PROGRESSION WHILE ON PATROL AND DISPLAYS A LOOK THAT CAN ONLY BE VISIUALLY DESCRIBED:
“HO SHIT!”
WE NOW INTERRUPT THIS PROGRAMME FOR AN UPDATE INTO MERLIN AND ARTHUR’S MARRIAGE OF DOMESTIC BLISS.
MERLIN OPENS THE BLINDS TO FIND ARTHUR’S ROOM IN CHAOS.
HE’S ALL “WTF HAPPENED?! I WASN’T GONE FOR THAT LONG!”
ARTHUR: “WITHOUT. MY. PERMISSION!”
ARTHUR DID NOT GET ANOTHER SERVANT. HE INSTEAD THREW A TANTRUM BECAUSE MERLIN HAD LEFT HIM AND HE REFUSED ANYONE ELSE, BECAUSE IT WAS NOT HIS WIFE. MERLIN IS THE ONLY ONE SUPPOSED TO PICK UP AFTER HIM.
/DED
MERLIN: WHAT IF I WAS DYING?
ARTHUR: THEN I WOULDN’T BE COMPLAINING.
EEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKK ARTHUR WOULDN’T BE COMPLAINING = ARTHUR WOULD BE CRYING, Y/Y?
ARTHUR: BUT YOU’RE NOT SO WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? *WIBBLE*
HIS POUTING FAAAAAAAAAAACE!!!!!!!!!
MERLIN: I WAS DYING
OMFGOD GUISE~! MERLIN TOLD ARTHUR THE TRUTH! SURE IT WAS ONLY HALF-THE-TRUTH BUT HE DIDN’T LIE!!! FANGIRL HEART SOARING RIGHT NOW! 8DD
LULZ MERLIN’S EYEBROWS HAVE TAKEN A LEAF OUT OF GAIUS’S BOOK. XDDD
ARTHUR: I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS.
TRANSLATION: YOU NOW DO NOT HAVE TIME TO HAVE MAKE UP SEX.
MERLIN: D:
ARTHUR: NO MERLIN, THE FUTURE OF THIS KINGDOM RESTS ON MY SHOULDERS. I CANNOT PUT YOU THERE AS WELL RIGHT NOW, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THAT FEELS LIKE?!
*FINGER IS ATTEMPTING TO TELL MERLIN TO STOP THAT FUCKING IRRESISTIBLE LOOK*
ARTHUR: I WILL THROW YOU IN THE DUNGEONS WITH NO KINKY SEX IF YOU DON’T BEHAVE!
MERLIN: YOU’VE NOT HAD YOUR BREAKFAST YET.
LULZ, COURSE NOT MERLIN, YOU JUST WOKE HIM UP. BUT! OMFGOD SUCH A WIFE HE IS, KNOWING THAT ARTHUR GETS CRANKY IN THE MORNING AND DOESN’T STOP BEING A BRIDEZILLA UNTIL AFTER BREAKFAST.
MERLIN ALSO CONTINUES TO GIVE ARTHUR HIS BEST BITCH FACE, ANNOYED THAT ARTHUR IS GOING TO DENY HIM SEX OVER SOMETHING THAT WASN’T HIS FAULT.
ARTHUR: I’LL HAVE YOU FOR BREAKFAST!
*STRIPS*
*SEXES*
*FINISHES*
LULZ, THAT IS TOTALLY ARTHUR’S “AFTER SEX FACE” XDD
SO AFTER THEIR BOUT OF MAKE UP SEX, MORGANA SPIES THEM WALKING ARM IN ARM ACROSS THE COURTYARD.
WE ARE DENIED A FEMMSLASH MOMENT OF EPIC PROPORTIONS TO BE GIFTED WITH THE SIGHT OF MORGANA’S MAGNIFICENT BOSOM.
♥_♥
SHE IS WALKED IN ON BY GAIUS (IDK WHAT SHE WAS DOING UNDER UTHER’S BED LOOKING FOR THE DILDO, ALRIGHT? I’M SURE FIC HAS THE ANSWER - IF NOT, YOUR IMAGINATION DOES). GUUUUUUH THIS IS A MOMENT WHERE KATIE DISPLAYS HER AMAAAAAAAZING~ TALENT, GOING FROM ANNOYED TO SLIGHTLY-ANNOYED TO PRETEND CONCERNED TO RELIEVED AND THEN BACK TO EVIL. OMG ♥
MERLIN IS WALKING DOWN THE CORRIDOR, ONLY TO BE ACCOSTED BY MORGANA.
WHO WRENCHES HIM INTO THE SIDE PASSAGE WAY FOR SURPRISE!ANGRY SEX!
MERLIN’S PERVING EYES LIKE THIS IDEA VERY MUCH.
WHILE THROWING HER BACK UP AGAINST THE WALL AND THRUSTING INTO HER, SHARP AND ROUGH, MORGANA HISSES OUT HOW HE HAD BETTER NOT TELL UTHER, OR SHE WOULD REVEAL HOW MERLIN TRIED TO KILL HER LAST YEAR. MERLIN COMES (OR NOT) AND MORGANA WALKS AWAY, HER POINT WELL AND TRULY CONVEYED, AND MERLIN IS LEFT TO CONTEMPLATE BEAUTIFULLY “JUST HAD HOT SEX” FACE.
NOTE HERE: MORGANA COULD TOTALLY GET MERLIN KILLED HERE, BUT SHE DOESN’T. BECAUSE SHE STILL CARES *NODNOD*
MERLIN AND MORGANA CONTINUE TO SHOOT EACH OTHER LOOKS DURING THE BATTLE MEETING.
SHUT UP, THEY ARE LOOKS OF WANT. YOU CAN’T DENY IT.
ARTHUR IS LOOKING LIKE A MIGHTY FUCKING FINE BAMF FUTURE KING.
BLESS SIR LEON, HE IS TRYING TO REASON WITH ARTHUR TO NOT BE A CLOTPOLE LIKE HIS FATHER. I LOVE HOW HE IS DOING THE PART OF TRYING TO PROTECT THE PEOPLE (WHICH ARTHUR WOULD HAVE DONE, HAD UTHER BEEN THE ONE IN CHARGE).
AFTER, MERLIN AND ARTHUR ARE ONCE AGAIN SIDE BY SIDE, AND IN TYPICAL MAN FASHION, MERLIN IS TRYING TO SAY “I LOVE YOU AND I THINK YOU ARE THE GREATEST THING THE WORLD HAS EVER KNOWN”, BUT HE DOESN’T QUITE KNOW HOW, SO HE BUMBLES AROUND FOR A LITTLE BIT. WITH COMPLETE ADORATION FOR ARTHUR PLASTERED ALL OVER HIS FACE.
ARTHUR TELLS HIM TO STOP PRATTLING AND MERLIN IS ALL “I KNOW YOU DON’T MEAN THAT, SWEETHEART. YOU’RE JUST WORRIED. BUT YOU DON’T NEED TO BE; LOOK WHAT WE’VE GOT. YOU. ME? *EYEBROWS*
THE LOOK ON HIS FACE. ITS ONE THAT IS HESITATING AT MAKING A COMPLETE LOVE DECLARATION, BECAUSE HE IS UNSURE IF ARTHUR IS READY FOR IT YET. GAKFJG;ALKJ;LAKGJA;L
*SINGS* YOU AND ME~
ARTHUR IS UNCOMFORTABLE ABOUT ADMITTING HIS FEELINGS, SO HE DOESN’T QUITE KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THIS NON-CONFESSION.
SO WE JUST CUT TO CENRED MEETING MORGAUSE ATOP A NICE MOUNTAIN, AMID A NICE BACKDROP TO HAVE SEX. UNF, CENRED IS PARTICULARLY SEX-WORTHY TODAY I THINK, MORGAUSE.
GAAAAAAAAAAAH THE LOOKS THEY GIVE EACH OTHER, AND THE VOICES THEY USE TO ADDRESS EACH OTHER. A;LGKJ;ALJ FUCKING HELL, GET A ROOM ALREADY.
THEY FUCK BANTER SOME MORE LIKE THE MARRIED ARTHUR/MERLIN, BEFORE MORGAUSE PROMISES TO GIVE CENRED A *FEAST* THAT HE WILL NEVER FORGET.
LMFAO, FEAST = EUPHAISM, AMIRITE? XDD
CENRED APPROVES!
I SHIP IT SO HARD!
THERE WAS AN A/G MOMENT IN THERE BUT IT GOT LOST AMONGST THE LOUD, ANIMALISTIC RUTTING COMING FROM MORGANA/MERLIN’S ROOM AND MORGAUSE/CENRED’S TENT AND THE SOUNDS OF SIR LEON BEING AWESOME. ALSO, MORGANA HAS MISSED MORGAUSE AND MUST FILL OUR SCREEN WITH BEAUTIFUL, INCESTUOUS LOVEMAKING.
THEY TALK ABOUT BRINGING CAMELOT TO ITS KNEES FROM THE INSIDE (LMFAO, SO GLAD THEY AREN’T TALKING ABOUT ARTHUR/MERLIN HERE, I MIGHT JUST DIE) AND MORGAUSE DISPLAYS THE WHITE TREE OF GONDOR ROWAN TREE BRANCH FROM LOTHLÓRIEN THE ISLE OF THE BLESSED (OIC WOT U DID THAR SHOW, MORGAUSE BEING NIMUEH’S APPRENTICE! :O)
MORGANA PROMISES, WITH A VOICE DRIPPING WITH SEXUAL INNUENDO, THAT SHE WILL NOT FAIL MORGAUSE.
VILLAGERS STREAM IN SLO-MO, ACCOMPANIED BY THE LOTR SOUNDTRACK. AWW :'(
ARTHUR HAS BEEN RUNNING AROUND SEARCHING FOR MERLIN, UNABLE TO BE PARTED FROM HIM FOR AN EXTENDED PERIOD OF TIME, BECAUSE OMG HE MIGHT GO MISSING FOR DAYS AT A TIME AGAIN! \0/
HIS RELIEF AT FINDING MERLIN SAFE IS LAPSED BY HIS CONFUSION HOWEVER, AT WHY MERLIN IS DOING ANYTHING OTHER THAN DOTING COMPLETELY AND *SPECIFICALLY* ON HIM.
MERLIN EXPLAINS THAT HE IS DOING HIS WIFELY DUTIES BY STOCKING UP ON FOOD, BECAUSE HE *KNOWS* HIS HUSBAND AND WHAT HE’LL BE LIKE IF HE HAD TO GO HUNGRY.
HE EVEN SPECIFICALLY ACQUIRED ARTHUR’S FAVOURITE BREAKFAST FOOD: EGGS. AWW~ BLESS HIM~!!
HE LOOKS SO PLEASED AT HOW DOMESTICATED HE HAS BECOME! ;LSKSDJG;LKJADG;LKJA
ARTHUR IS SUITABLY IMPRESSED BY MERLIN’S DEVOTION.
I LOVE THIS NEXT MOMENT SFM, YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW.
ARTHUR IS DOING HIS PRINCELY READYING FOR BATTLE AND DISCUSSING IT WITH BOTH SIR LEON AND MERLIN - TREATING HIS MANSERVANT EQUAL TO HIS SENIOR KNIGHT.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
RIGHT BEFORE THE BATTLE, ARTHUR GOES TO SIT BY HIS FATHER, IN CONTEMPLATION. AND OF COURSE, MERLIN IS THE ONE THAT GOES TO HIM, BECAUSE ARTHUR COULD NOT BE WITHOUT HIM.
AGA;LLGKJA NOW ONLY MERLIN IS ABLE TO SEE ARTHUR IN HIS WEAKEST MOMENTS - THE TIMES WHEN HE HAS TO BREAK FROM BEING A RULER AND TO JUST BE A MAN. ONLY MERLIN GETS TO SEE THIS BECAUSE HE IS ARTHUR’S GREATEST FRIEND AND LOVER, EVEN THOUGH ARTHUR WOULD NEVER ADMIT IT.
CRYING WITH HAPPINESS RN :'D
AFTER A HEARTFELT “I WILL NOT LET YOU DOWN” FROM ARTHUR TO UTHER, HE LEAVES TO SEE THE ENEMY AMASSING AT HELM’S DEEP THE CASTLE GATES.
OMFGOD, BUT THIS NEXT SCENE. *THIS SCENE MAKES THE ENTIRE SHOW.
MERLIN IS READYING ARTHUR FOR BATTLE, ALA 1x10: MOMENT OF TRUTH.
HE WANTS ARTHUR’S ATTENTION, SO HE “SLIPS” WHEN DOING UP ONE OF ARTHUR’S BUCKLES
AS PLANNED, ARTHUR IS PAYING ATTENTION.
ARTHUR IS AMUSED BY HIS BOYFRIEND’S NEED TO COMFORT HIM.
MERLIN WANTS ARTHUR TO KNOW THAT HE TRUSTS IN THEIR DESTINY.
ARTHUR IS CONFUSED BECAUSE HE HAS NOT HEARD ANYTHING ABOUT “THEIR DESTINY” BEFORE.
MERLIN TAKES THIS MOMENT TO DRAW OUT ARTHUR’S “SWORD” NICE... AND... SLOOOOOOOOW
HE TAKES A MOMENT TO FONDLE ARTHUR’S “SWORD” (OMG THIS IS A BEAUTIFUL MOMENT, WTF AM I SAYING?!?! >_<)
THEN GOES TO ARTHUR AND TELLS HIM, WITH LOVE AND CONVICTION IN HIS EYES, THAT ARTHUR WILL BE “THE GREATEST KING CAMELOT HAS EVER KNOWN”.
ARTHUR’S FACE TURNS SRS BSNS, HE REALISED HIS BOYFRIEND IS TELLING HIM THEY WILL STILL HAVE MORE TIME AFTER THIS BATTLE, BECAUSE HE BELIEVES IN US \0/
MERLIN TELLS ARTHUR TO “TRUST IN HIMSELF” AND ARTHUR SEEMS TO ACTUAL PAY ATTENTION TO THIS ADVICE NOW. IT LEAVES HIM KIND OF SPEECHLESS WITH LOVE
ARTHUR’S LIPS HAVE TROUBLE FORMING THE WORDS “I LOVE YOU” BEFORE THEY PART
BUT MERLIN THINKS HE KNOWS WHAT ARTHUR IS TRYING TO SAY AND GRINS LIKE A FOOL.
BUT IN THE END, ARTHUR MANAGES TO SAY IT!! :OO
EEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKK!!! =DD
ARTHUR HAS FINALLY REALISED HOW MUCH MERLIN MEANS TO HIM. IT MAY BE ON THE EVE OF BATTLE (KINDA LATE IF THEY WERE ABOUT TO DIE), BUT IT NOW MEANS THAT ARTHUR KNOWS JUST HOW MUCH HE LOVES HIS WISE, ADORABLE MERLIN. A;LFLKGJA;LKKJAG;LKAJ
ARTHUR GOES TO LEAVE HIS MEN, PAUSING FOR A MOMENT TO HAVE A BONDING MOMENT WITH HIS FAVOURITE KNIGHT ♥ ♥ ♥
WHO THEN VERY ENTHUSIASTICALLY SHOUTS THE BATTLE CRY “FOR THE LOVE OF CAMELOT”
I LOVE YOUR FACE RUPERT!!
UTHER IS WOKEN BY THE SOUNDS OF BATTLE OUTSIDE HIS WINDOW
QUICKLY HE DONS HIS CHAIN MAIL AND RUNS STRAIGHT TO THE FRONT OF THE LINE
WHERE SIR LEON TRIES TO CONVINCE HIM TO GO BACK TO REST,
UTHER THINKS “TO HELL WITH THAT BULLSHIT” AND RUSHES STRAIGHT INTO BATTLE. GOTTA HAND IT TO HIM, UTHER AINT NO COWARD!
IN THE HOSPITAL, MORGANA IS TENDING PATIENTS AND MERLIN TELLS GAIUS THE OBVIOUS: TO KEEP AN EYE ON MORGANA. HE HAS TO BE WITH ARTHUR, BECAUSE HIS HUSBAND DESTINY DEPENDS ON PROTECTING HIS HUSBAND.
POOR BB GETS HURT ON THE WAY BACK THOUGH D:
AMIDST ALL THE FIGHTING THAT HAS BEEN COMPLETELY RIPPED OFF LOTR TWO TOWERS, UTHER COMES CHARGING IN LOOKING LIKE A CRAZED BULL.
NGL, I WISH THIS WAS A MOMENT WHERE ARTHUR AND UTHER FOUGHT ALONGSIDE EACH OTHER, AT LEAST UNTIL UTHER WAS INJURED. I DO SEE ARTHUR’S POINT OF TRYING TO GET HIM OUT THOUGH, BECAUSE UTHER IS STILL A BIT CRAZY-INSANE.
GOD, THE LOOK OF PURE TERROR ON ARTHUR’S FACE WHEN HE SEES HIS FATHER FIGHTING. T_T
ARTHUR GIVES THE ORDER TO RETREAT, AND HIS MEN DO SO.
MERLIN SHOWS UP IN TIME TO MAGICK A FIRE WALL AND ASSIST A HURT KNIGHT. DEAR GOD, BLESS HIS HEART AND SOUL!
IN THE HOSPITAL, MORGANA IS AWARE THAT SHE IS BEING WATCHED.
BUT MANAGES TO MAKE HER ESCAPE ANYWAY, GAUIS FOLLOWING HER TO WHERE SHE HAS HIDDEN THE BRANCH OF ROWAN.
AND GAIUS PROVES THAT HE IS SOMETIMES AS DUMB AS MERLIN - FALLING FOR THE OLD “EVIL PERSON HIDING BEHIND THE DOOR” TRICK.
HE’S NOT EVEN *LOOKING* AT WHERE HER ARM IS STICKING OUT FROM BEHIND THE FUCKING DOOR!! AAARRRRRHHARLJEALJLKAJG;KLJFALKJF *HEADDESK*
CUT TO UTHER, BEING TOLD BY ARTHUR TO TRUST HIM, AND THEN LED AWAY BY MERLIN.
WHY YES, THE ONLY I INCLUDED THIS IS TO HAVE A [BLURRY] PICTURE OF UTHER WITH HIS ARMS AROUND MERLIN. I’M EASY AND CHEAP, WHAT CAN I SAY? 8D
MORGAUSE/CENRED MOMENT WHEREIN CENRED IS ALL PROUD OF HIS MEN AND MORGAUSE IS BAMF AND PUTTING TRUST IN MORGANA. WHO IS THEN SHOWN BEING HER OWN BAMF AND THRUSTING THE ROWAN BRANCH INTO THE FAKE GROUND.
LULZ, AS IF THAT’S PURE CONCRETE.
THE BRANCH MANAGES TO GIVE MERLIN A MAGICK ORGASM THOUGH, OR THE EQUIVALENT, IF THE LOOK ON HIS FACE IS ANYTHING TO GO BY.
MORGAUSE ALSO CAME IN HER PANTS, BY THE LOOK ON HER FACE.
WEIRD SCI-FI LOOKIN’ MAGIC STARTS LIGHTING UP THE ROOM
AND DEAD THINGS START RISING OUT OF CATACOMBS ALA ‘THE MUMMY’
ARTHUR SEES MERLIN AND CALLS OUT TO HIM, WONDERING WHERE THE HELL HE DISAPPEARED TO.
AWW, ARTHUR WANTS TO KEEP MERLIN CLOSE TO KNOW THAT HE IS SAFE ♥ HE CAN’T BEAR TO HAVE HIM OUT OF SIGHT ♥
MERLIN TELLS ARTHUR THAT HE HASN’T BEEN ANYWHERE SPECIAL AND THEN SOMEHOW LOSES HIS TALENT FOR TALKING WHEN HE SEES THE WALKING SKELETON WARRIOR BEHIND ARTHUR.
ARTHUR, IN HIS HEROIC, MANLY WAY, TURNS AND BEGINS FIGHTING IT TO STOP THE UNDEAD FROM ADVANCING AND HURTING MERLIN
AND SUDDENLY, MERLIN DISCOVERS HIS HIDDEN SWORD SKILLS, AFTER YEARS OF ARTHUR TRYING TO TEACH HIM.
OH WAIT, NEVERMIND. HE JUST FELL ON HIS ARSE - JUST AS HOPELESS AS ALWAYS.
JUST WHEN THE UNDEAD GOES TO FINISH MERLIN OFF, A RANDOM KNIGHT STEPS IN TO SAVE THE DAY!
YOU KNOW, I SUSPECT ARTHUR (UNBEKNOWN TO MERLIN) HAS ORDERED THAT ALL OF THE KNIGHTS KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR MERLIN AND IF IT LOOKS LIKE HE’S IN TROUBLE, THEY ARE UNDER STRICT ORDERS TO SAVE HIM. EVEN SO, ALL THE KNIGHTS WOULD HAVE ALREADY KNOW TO DO THAT, BECAUSE THEY UNDERSTAND HOW IMPORTANT MERLIN IS TO ARTHUR 8DDDD
MERLIN IS RELIEVED THAT RANDOM!KNIGHT SAVED HIS LIFE. LOL, JUST LOOK AT HIS FACE.
SIDE NOTE: I BET THIS IS THE FACE COLIN MAKES WHEN BRADLEY SWALLOWS HIS COCK IN A SURPRISE!BLOW JOB. XDDD
SPEAKING OF COCK. XD
ON THIS DAY, I THANK THE FANGODS FOR THE WONDERFULLY THIN FABRIC OF MERLIN’S BREECHES.
I AM SO GOING TO HELL.
OBVIOUSLY, THE UNDEAD ARM IS STILL SCUTTLING AROUND AND TRYING TO GET TO MERLIN. LOL THE FACE HE MAKES TRYING [UNSUCCESSFULLY] TO HIT IT WITH THAT SWORD. XDDDDDDDD
THE BOYS ARE RUNNING UP THE STAIRS (ALONE \0/), ARTHUR WITH A PROTECTIVE ARM ON MERLIN. A;LKGJA;LKJKG;ALKGKJ
ARTHUR TELLS MERLIN TO GET GAIUS TO SEAL OFF THE HOSPITAL (AWW, MERLIN DIDN’T WANT TO LEAVE HIS HUSBAND~). ARTHUR PUTS HIS BEST BITCHFACE FIGHTING FACE ON AND GOES AND KICKS THAT SKELETON’S BONY ARSE!
SURPRISE! UTHER IS DEMANDING THAT GAIUS LET HIM OUT SO HE CAN GO DEFEND HIS KINGDOM DAMMIT, BUT GAIUS IS HAVING NONE OF IT.
HE FORCEFULLY REMINDS HIS BOYFRIEND OF THE MEDICINE HE HAD EARLIER AND TELLS HIM TO GET THE FUCK BACK INTO BED. THEN HE GOES TO SEE MERLIN IN HIS PANIC. MERLIN TELLS HIM TO SEAL OFF THE HOSPITAL AND THAT HE IS GOING TO TRY STOP MORGANA.
SIR LEON HAS YET ANOTHER MOMENT OF AWESOME BAMFERY FIGHTING THE UNDEAD.
ARTHUR IS TRYING TO CONVINCE GAIUS TO GET HIS FATHER TO SAFETY. UNFORTUNATELY THEY CAN’T BECAUSE THEY LOST THE LOWER TOWN. ARTHUR HAS JUST REALISED THE AWFUL CONSEQUENCES OF WHAT THIS BATTLE COULD MEAN \O/
MEANWHILE, MERLIN TRACKS MORGANA DOWN, WHO IS LOOKING PARTICULARLY GORGEOUS WITH THOSE SEXY EYES
COMPARED TO MERLIN’S LOOK OF RESIGNATION.
HE TRIES TO PERSUADE MORGANA THAT THIS ISN’T THE RIGHT THING TO DO - PEOPLE ARE DYING.
MORGANA: GOOD!
HAHAHA, FUCKING EXCELLENT! YOU TELL HIM MORGANA. GOD I LOVE YOUR MOTHERFUCKING HBIC FACE RIGHT THERE. UNF UNF UNF!
MORGANA LAUNCHES INTO AN IRONIC RANT ABOUT HAVING MAGIC AND HATING UTHER BECAUSE OF IT. OH MORGANA, IF ONLY YOU KNEW THE TRUTH. MERLIN, IF I DIDN’T THINK MORGANA WOULD NOW USE THE KNOWLEDGE THAT YOU HAVE MAGIC AGAINST YOU, I WOULD BE SCREAMING FOR YOU TO REVEAL YOURSELF TO HER RIGHT NOW.
INSTEAD OF MAGIC, MERLIN PULLS OUT THE BIG PUPPY EYES AND TELLS MORGANA THERE IS ANOTHER WAY INSTEAD OF THE FIGHTING.
FOR A MOMENT IT LOOKS LIKE MORGANA IS SEEING REASON. I MEAN, COULD YOU RESIST MERLIN’S FUCKING HEART-WRENCHING FACE?
BUT THEN MORGANA SNAPS OUT OF IT AND GETS HER FIGHTING STANCE ON, LOOKING MIGHTY FUCKING FINE IN THE PROCESS, I MIGHT ADD.
MERLIN LOOKS KINDA EXCITED BY THIS FIGHT, DON’T YOU RECKON? LIKE I SAID: MERLIN/MORGANA LIKE IT ROUGH. VERY ROUGH. 8DD
FIGHTING!STANCE MORGANA IS UNNNNNNNNNNNNFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF, AMIRITE?
FUUUUUUUUUUU MORGANA, HOW HOT CAN YOU GET?? TOTALLY A DROOLING MESS RIGHT NOW.
SRSLY, FIRST TIME I SAW THAT CLIP I NEARLY SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUSTED. FFS, SO MUCH HOT, I CAN’T EVEN.
MERLIN SOMEHOW MANAGES TO NOT GET KILLED FOR AT LEAST FIVE SECONDS [MAYBE ITS ~MAGIC~], BEFORE USING ACTUAL MAGIC TO MAKE THE CEILING CAVE IN ON TOP OF MORGANA.
UNF, DAT ASS.
HE RUNS OVER AND ATTACKS THE ROWAN TREE THING WITH HIS NEW ALMIGHTY MAGIC-SWORD POWERS.
[WOOT, GO MERLIN!]
CAUSING THE UNDEAD TO CRUMBLE INTO DUST.
SIR LEON (WHOM I SHALL NOW REFER TO AS SIR BAMF) RUNS STRAIGHT BACK INTO ACTION WITH HIS RAWWWWWRRRRRRRR FACE ON
IT TURNS THE TIDE OF THE BATTLE AND CENRED REASLISES THAT THE BATTLE IS LOST.
I KIND OF LOVE HIM A WHOLE LOT RIGHT IN THIS MOMENT, BECAUSE HE CARES MORE FOR THE LIVES OF HIS MEN THAN GAINING UTHER’S KINGDOM AND WINING MORGAUSES LOVE, AFFECTION FAVOUR.
MORGAUSE IS NOT PLEASED.
NEXT MORNING, WHEN UTHER HOLDS COURT, THE MARRIED COUPLE WALK IN ARM IN ARM AND MERLIN TRIES TO TELL ARTHUR ABOUT WHAT MORGANA DID.
ARTHUR CUTS HIM OFF, TELLING HIM THEY ALREADY KNOW. MERLIN IS CONFUSED BY THIS (D’YA RECKON HE THOUGHT HE WAS GOING TO BE PUBLICALLY ACKNOWLEDGED, FOR ONCE, FOR SAVING EVERY SINGLE DAMN PERSON’S LIFE?)
LOL THE EXTRA IN THE BACKGROUND, PLAYING HIS PART WELL.
UTHER GIVES HIS SPEECH AND MENTIONS THE TRAITOR, AND MERLIN’S EARS START TO GET HOPEFUL.
BUT OF COURSE, UTHER IS BLINDLY AND PROUDLY IN LOVE WITH MORGANA AND ENDS UP GIVING ALL THE CREDIT THAT SHOULD HAVE GONE TO MERLIN, TO MORGANA INSTEAD.
AWW, I KIND OF FEEL FOR HIM HERE. NOT THAT ANYONE COULD HAVE DEDUCED OTHERWISE - I MEAN, DESTROYED MAGIC EVIL THING, MORGANA LYING ON THE GROUND, SUDDEN DEATH OF UNDEAD ARMY? NO ONE WOULD HAVE THOUGHT THAT IT WAS ACTUALLY MERLIN WHO WAS SAVING THE CASTLE. :( POOR, UNAPPRECIATED MERLIN.
BUT MERLIN IS ONTO YOU MORGANA!!
FUCKING CHRIST, THE LOOKS THEY ARE EXCHANGING HERE COULD PUT A HOUSE ON FIRE. SO MUCH FUCKING CHEMISTRY, PWAOR!
AND WE END ON A LOVELY FATHER/SON BETWEEN MERLIN AND GAIUS.
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GAIUS GIVES GOOD ADVICE ABOUT MERLIN NOT TURNING TO HATE, AND MERLIN SMILES AT THIS, BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW HE’S FAAAAAAAAAAR TOO GOOD-NATURED TO EVER HATE THAT MUCH
(MERLIN MAY EVEN BE A BIT TOO FORGIVING - UTHER EXHILED HIS FATHER, TRIED TO KILL HIS ADOPTED FATHER, LET HIS HOMETOWN BE AT MERCY TO BANDITS AND WOULD BE EXECUTED HIMSELF IF HE WAS EVER FOUND OUT)
AND LIKE CLOCKWORK, AS SOON AS MERLIN BEGINS TO JOIN HIS ALONE TIME [AND HIS MEAL], ENTER ARTHUR LIKE A PETULANT CHILD SHOUTING FOR MERLIN’S BACKSIDE. OUTSIDE. RTFN.
MERLIN LIKES THE WAY ARTHUR TALKS ABOUT HIS BACKSIDE AND GIVES HIS THE SUGGESTIVE EYEBROWS. AND A SMIRK. GUH!
[a8c-sock MADE AN EXCELLENT POINT ABOUT THIS MOMENT IN HER LJ. COPY&PASTED: “Merlin is eating, clearly his chores are over and presumably Arthur shouldn't needing him. But Arthur still does. This new Merlin dependency is sweet....awwww.”]
IT’S TOTALLY CANON, BITCHES!
THIS EPISODE: TOTALLY REDEEMING S2. COMPLETELY. PLEASE KEEP IT UP SHOW.
NEXT WEEK: COPIOUS FART JOKES THAT MAKE EVERYONE OVER THE AGE OF TWELVE WEEP AT THE COMEDY!FAIL
YOU CANNOT POSSIBLY DENY THAT ARTHUR AND MERLIN ARE SO FUCKING MARRIED AFTER THIS EPISODE. LIKE OMG, IT’S NOT EVEN A QUESTION OF EVIDENCE AND SCENE MANIPULATION. IT’S ALL RIGHT THERE!!
FIRST WE MUST REMEMBER THE IMPORTANT THINGS FROM LAST WEEK:
MORGANA IS RETURNED. UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF HER SISTER’S INTOXICATING PHEROMONES TO DESTROY CAMELOT. UTHER IS GOING MAD AND MERLIN GETS LOCKED UP IN BONDAGE CHAINS. HE HAS SOME MAGIC SEX WITH SAID CHAINS AND THEN THE DRAGON FLYS HIM AWAY LOOKING LIKE HE JUST CAME OVER 9000 TIMES.
AND SO WE BEGIN!
MERLIN TURNS OVER TO FIND THE DRAGON WATCHING HIM.
MERLIN LOOKS EXHAUSTIVELY HAPPY THAT THE DRAGON CAME TO HIM.
THE DRAGON “COULD NOT RESIST A DRAGONLORD”.
OMG I AM IN PAIN WITH HOW MUCH I AM CRYING WITH LAUGHTER. MERLIN IS SHAKING AND SWEATING AND GROANING, ALL WHILE BEING *GRATEFUL* TO THE DRAGON. FUCK, THOSE ARE TOTALLY METAPHORS AND SEX EUPHEMISMS. WITH A NAME LIKE ‘DRAGON’, WELL. WHAT ELSE DO YOU EXPECT ME TO SAY?!?!
CUT TO CAMELOT, WHERE ARTHUR IS NOT COPING WITHOUT HIS MERLIN.
HE STORMS INTO GAIUS’S CHAMBERS, LOOKING MIGHTY FINE AND SHOUTING ABOUT NEEDING CLEAN SOCKS AND BREECHES AND OMFG MY BRAIN JUST EXPLODED. FIC HAS COMPLETELY RUINED ME. I IMMEDIATE ASSOCIATE BREECHES WITH SEX AND THEN MY BRAIN GOES INTO MELTDOWN. BECAUSE IT IS ON MY SCREEN AND HOLY FUCKING SHIT, ARTHUR IS ANGRY THAT MERLIN IS NOT ATTENDING HIM.
YOU SEE THAT NIPPLE POKING OUT THERE? IT IS ANTICIPATING THE ANGRY SEX HE IS GOING TO HAVE WITH MERLIN UPON DRAGGING HIM OUT OF BED, ALL RUFFLED AND RASPY.
GAIUS INFORMS HIM THAT “HE PRESUMED MERLIN WAS WITH [ARTHUR]”.
OMFG, SO MERLIN MAKES A HABIT OF NOT COMING HOME AT NIGHT? DID GAIUS JUST STATE ON THE RECORD THAT MERLIN MAKES A HABIT OF BEING WITH ARTHUR? AT. NIGHT.
AAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
ARTHUR DID NOT GET HIS NIGHTLY SEXING AND NOW IS DOUBLY MAD BECAUSE MERLIN HAS DISAPPEARED. OMFGOD, HE’S JUST LASHING OUT BECAUSE HE IS SO TOTALLY DEPENDENT ON MERLIN, HE JUST WON’T ADMIT IT.
I MEAN, THERE ARE OTHER SERVANTS, RIGHT?
WE’LL COME BACK TO THIS LATER. OH YES.
BECAUSE RIGHT NOW MORGANA IS SNEAKING AROUND LIKE A RIGHT SNEAK. SPYING ON SIR LEON, BECAUSE HE IS MIGHTILY FINE AND WHO WOULDN’T?
OH, BUT INSTEAD SHE JUST SMOKES THEM OUT. THAT WAS RATHER INTELLIGENT, WHICH IS MORE THAN I CAN SAY FOR MERLIN’S SNEAKING ABOUT, USING NOT-SO-SNEAKY MAGIC. XDD
SHE GOES TO UTHER, WHO IS LOOKING WITHOUT SEEING. D:
SHE SNAPS SOME MANDRAKE’S LEGS TO HEAR SOME SHRIEKING. COZ IT WAS IN HER SUGAR DADDY’S BED.
UTHER CANNOT UNSEE!
MORGANA IS ALL ~DELIGHTFUL~
LOL, NOT GOING TO THAT KINKY PLACE, NO SIR. *BEATS CONSCIOUS INTO SUBMISSION*
CUTTING BACK TO MERLIN. WHO HAS BEEN SLEEPING. OMFG, BEDTALK MUCH. WITH THE SLASH DRAGON OMFG. HE MENTIONS SOMETHING ABOUT SCORPION PEEN’S VENOM BEING TOO STRONG FOR EVEN MERLIN’S GREAT PROWESS.
NERGGG, HE STANDS UP WITH THIS FUCKING LOOK ON HIS FACE. A;LKGJALKLJ THIS IS WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE WHEN HE WAKES UP IN THE MORNING, IN ARTHUR’S BED (AS PREVIOUSLY DISCUSSED).
IT IS A MIGHTY FINE FUCKING LOOK, Y/Y?
MERLIN ADMITS TO THE DRAGON THAT EVEN THOUGH HE LOVES MORGANA, HE SHOULD HAVE LISTENED TO THE DRAGON WHEN HE TOLD HIM THAT SHE WAS EVIL. HE LOVES HER BUT SHE LEFT HIM TO DIE! D': MERLIN IS QUITE CONCERNED ABOUT THIS SMALL FACT.
THE DRAGON HOWEVER, BLESS HIS SOUL, SEEMS TO BE TRYING TO COMFORT MERLIN - TELLING HIM THAT THE MERLIN/MORGANA SHIP IS TOTALLY VALID BECAUSE THEY ARE ALIKE. MAYBE THIS IS HIM, TRYING TO MAKE UP FOR WHAT AN ARSE HE WAS AT THE END OF LAST SEASON, MAKING MERLIN CHOSE BETWEEN ARTHUR AND MORGANA. COZ THAT SHIT JUST WASN’T NICE.
MERLIN ISN’T QUITE SURE WHAT TO MAKE OF THAT.
THE DRAGON GETS ALL PROPHETIC AND PREDICTS THAT MERLIN AND MORGANA’S FUTURES ARE NOW JOINED FOREVER. OMFGOD, MARRIED THROUGH MAGIC. I LIKE THE WAY YOU THINK, DRAGON! ESPECIALLY WITH ALL THIS “DARKNESS-LIGHT” “HATRED-LOVE”.
I SEE SOME PARTICULARLY FUCKING EPIC SEX COMING FROM THIS PREDICTION, DON’T YOU? ANGRY LOVE MAKING FTW!!!!!
HAVE I MENTIONED THAT THE DRAGON’S CGI IS LOOKING PARTICULARLY LOVELY THIS EPISODE?
PRETTY!
ANYWAY, MERLIN INSISTS THAT HE HAS TO GET BACK TO CAMELOT TO BE WITH HIS BOYFRIEND AND THAT HE HAS EVERY INTENTION OF RIDING THE DRAGON ALL THE WAY THERE.
HE EVEN GIVES THE DRAGON THIS SMUSHY FUCKING SMIRK OF ADORABLENESS.
HOW COULD THE DRAGON RESIST THAT LOOK?
THAT’S RIGHT, HE CAN’T. SO MR ROLEPLAY HIPPOGRIFF HE GIVES MERLIN A RIDING WILD TIME ALL THE WAY BACK TO CAMELOT.
HE LOOKS LIKE HE’S ENJOYING HIMSELF. OMFG HIS HAPPY-FACE IS AMONG ONE OF THE GREATEST THINGS ON THIS EARTH.
THEY LAND IN A SUSPICIOUSLY FAMILIAR FIELD.
LULZ, I SEE YOU, CLEARING IN WHICH THE FINAL DRAGON VS MERLIN SHOWDOWN WENT DOWN. 8DD
MERLIN RUNS TO WAKE GAIUS AND FAIL TO DRESS HIM IN A HURRY. LOL OH MERLIN, YOU ARE SO CUTE WHEN YOUR INEPT.
MERLIN “DOESN’T HAVE TIME TO EXPLAIN” YET HE MANAGES TO DO A PRETTY GOOD JOB OF IT WITH THE WHOLE “MORGANA IN LEAGUE WITH MORGAUSE” SUMMARY. XD
HE LEADS THEM TO UTHER’S BEDCHAMBERS (HOHO! YOU NAUGHTY THING MERLIN), PRESUMABLY TO FIND THE MANDRAKE DILDO. ONCE THEY GET THERE THOUGH, THERE IS NO TIME FOR MISCHIEF, BECAUSE UTHER HAS RANSACKED HIS BEDROOM (AND SET FIRE TO IT). THE POOR BB, HE LOOKS SO HEART-WRENCHINGLY BROKEN RIGHT HERE.
GAIUS RUSHES IMMEDIATELY TO HIS BOYFRIENDS’ SIDE.
MERLIN REALISES WHAT HE HAS TO DO TO STOP UTHER FROM GOING MAD AND CHUCKS THE MANDRAKE IN THE FIRE, AND IT PUTS A STOP TO THE ENCHANTMENT.
GAIUS COMFORTS HIS BOYFRIEND, THEN PUTS HIM TO BED.
AWWW~~~ THESE TWO ♥
AFTER, MERLIN CONFIRMS THAT HE DOESN’T UNDERSTAND HOW THE NOBILITY MINDSET WORKS, AND SOMEHOW FORGETS HE’S IN THE PAST, BECAUSE THERE IS NO WAY UTHER IS GOING TO BELIEVE SERVANTS TELLING HIM THAT HIS WARD IS EVIL. LISTEN TO GAIUS HERE MERLIN, HE IS THE ONE WITH THE BRAINS!
UTHER IS BLIND TO MORGANA’S FAULTS! AWW~~ UTHER!!!
ELSEWHERE, IN THE WHITE MOUNTAINS ... ERR, I MEAN ALBION, THE ORCS ENEMY IS PROGRESSING TOWARD CAMELOT.
SIR LEON AKA KNIGHT SIR-FINE BAMF SEES SAID PROGRESSION WHILE ON PATROL AND DISPLAYS A LOOK THAT CAN ONLY BE VISIUALLY DESCRIBED:
“HO SHIT!”
WE NOW INTERRUPT THIS PROGRAMME FOR AN UPDATE INTO MERLIN AND ARTHUR’S MARRIAGE OF DOMESTIC BLISS.
MERLIN OPENS THE BLINDS TO FIND ARTHUR’S ROOM IN CHAOS.
HE’S ALL “WTF HAPPENED?! I WASN’T GONE FOR THAT LONG!”
ARTHUR: “WITHOUT. MY. PERMISSION!”
ARTHUR DID NOT GET ANOTHER SERVANT. HE INSTEAD THREW A TANTRUM BECAUSE MERLIN HAD LEFT HIM AND HE REFUSED ANYONE ELSE, BECAUSE IT WAS NOT HIS WIFE. MERLIN IS THE ONLY ONE SUPPOSED TO PICK UP AFTER HIM.
/DED
MERLIN: WHAT IF I WAS DYING?
ARTHUR: THEN I WOULDN’T BE COMPLAINING.
EEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKK ARTHUR WOULDN’T BE COMPLAINING = ARTHUR WOULD BE CRYING, Y/Y?
ARTHUR: BUT YOU’RE NOT SO WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? *WIBBLE*
HIS POUTING FAAAAAAAAAAACE!!!!!!!!!
MERLIN: I WAS DYING
OMFGOD GUISE~! MERLIN TOLD ARTHUR THE TRUTH! SURE IT WAS ONLY HALF-THE-TRUTH BUT HE DIDN’T LIE!!! FANGIRL HEART SOARING RIGHT NOW! 8DD
LULZ MERLIN’S EYEBROWS HAVE TAKEN A LEAF OUT OF GAIUS’S BOOK. XDDD
ARTHUR: I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS.
TRANSLATION: YOU NOW DO NOT HAVE TIME TO HAVE MAKE UP SEX.
MERLIN: D:
ARTHUR: NO MERLIN, THE FUTURE OF THIS KINGDOM RESTS ON MY SHOULDERS. I CANNOT PUT YOU THERE AS WELL RIGHT NOW, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THAT FEELS LIKE?!
*FINGER IS ATTEMPTING TO TELL MERLIN TO STOP THAT FUCKING IRRESISTIBLE LOOK*
ARTHUR: I WILL THROW YOU IN THE DUNGEONS WITH NO KINKY SEX IF YOU DON’T BEHAVE!
MERLIN: YOU’VE NOT HAD YOUR BREAKFAST YET.
LULZ, COURSE NOT MERLIN, YOU JUST WOKE HIM UP. BUT! OMFGOD SUCH A WIFE HE IS, KNOWING THAT ARTHUR GETS CRANKY IN THE MORNING AND DOESN’T STOP BEING A BRIDEZILLA UNTIL AFTER BREAKFAST.
MERLIN ALSO CONTINUES TO GIVE ARTHUR HIS BEST BITCH FACE, ANNOYED THAT ARTHUR IS GOING TO DENY HIM SEX OVER SOMETHING THAT WASN’T HIS FAULT.
ARTHUR: I’LL HAVE YOU FOR BREAKFAST!
*STRIPS*
*SEXES*
*FINISHES*
LULZ, THAT IS TOTALLY ARTHUR’S “AFTER SEX FACE” XDD
SO AFTER THEIR BOUT OF MAKE UP SEX, MORGANA SPIES THEM WALKING ARM IN ARM ACROSS THE COURTYARD.
WE ARE DENIED A FEMMSLASH MOMENT OF EPIC PROPORTIONS TO BE GIFTED WITH THE SIGHT OF MORGANA’S MAGNIFICENT BOSOM.
♥_♥
SHE IS WALKED IN ON BY GAIUS (IDK WHAT SHE WAS DOING UNDER UTHER’S BED LOOKING FOR THE DILDO, ALRIGHT? I’M SURE FIC HAS THE ANSWER - IF NOT, YOUR IMAGINATION DOES). GUUUUUUH THIS IS A MOMENT WHERE KATIE DISPLAYS HER AMAAAAAAAZING~ TALENT, GOING FROM ANNOYED TO SLIGHTLY-ANNOYED TO PRETEND CONCERNED TO RELIEVED AND THEN BACK TO EVIL. OMG ♥
MERLIN IS WALKING DOWN THE CORRIDOR, ONLY TO BE ACCOSTED BY MORGANA.
WHO WRENCHES HIM INTO THE SIDE PASSAGE WAY FOR SURPRISE!ANGRY SEX!
MERLIN’S PERVING EYES LIKE THIS IDEA VERY MUCH.
WHILE THROWING HER BACK UP AGAINST THE WALL AND THRUSTING INTO HER, SHARP AND ROUGH, MORGANA HISSES OUT HOW HE HAD BETTER NOT TELL UTHER, OR SHE WOULD REVEAL HOW MERLIN TRIED TO KILL HER LAST YEAR. MERLIN COMES (OR NOT) AND MORGANA WALKS AWAY, HER POINT WELL AND TRULY CONVEYED, AND MERLIN IS LEFT TO CONTEMPLATE BEAUTIFULLY “JUST HAD HOT SEX” FACE.
NOTE HERE: MORGANA COULD TOTALLY GET MERLIN KILLED HERE, BUT SHE DOESN’T. BECAUSE SHE STILL CARES *NODNOD*
MERLIN AND MORGANA CONTINUE TO SHOOT EACH OTHER LOOKS DURING THE BATTLE MEETING.
SHUT UP, THEY ARE LOOKS OF WANT. YOU CAN’T DENY IT.
ARTHUR IS LOOKING LIKE A MIGHTY FUCKING FINE BAMF FUTURE KING.
BLESS SIR LEON, HE IS TRYING TO REASON WITH ARTHUR TO NOT BE A CLOTPOLE LIKE HIS FATHER. I LOVE HOW HE IS DOING THE PART OF TRYING TO PROTECT THE PEOPLE (WHICH ARTHUR WOULD HAVE DONE, HAD UTHER BEEN THE ONE IN CHARGE).
AFTER, MERLIN AND ARTHUR ARE ONCE AGAIN SIDE BY SIDE, AND IN TYPICAL MAN FASHION, MERLIN IS TRYING TO SAY “I LOVE YOU AND I THINK YOU ARE THE GREATEST THING THE WORLD HAS EVER KNOWN”, BUT HE DOESN’T QUITE KNOW HOW, SO HE BUMBLES AROUND FOR A LITTLE BIT. WITH COMPLETE ADORATION FOR ARTHUR PLASTERED ALL OVER HIS FACE.
ARTHUR TELLS HIM TO STOP PRATTLING AND MERLIN IS ALL “I KNOW YOU DON’T MEAN THAT, SWEETHEART. YOU’RE JUST WORRIED. BUT YOU DON’T NEED TO BE; LOOK WHAT WE’VE GOT. YOU. ME? *EYEBROWS*
THE LOOK ON HIS FACE. ITS ONE THAT IS HESITATING AT MAKING A COMPLETE LOVE DECLARATION, BECAUSE HE IS UNSURE IF ARTHUR IS READY FOR IT YET. GAKFJG;ALKJ;LAKGJA;L
*SINGS* YOU AND ME~
ARTHUR IS UNCOMFORTABLE ABOUT ADMITTING HIS FEELINGS, SO HE DOESN’T QUITE KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THIS NON-CONFESSION.
SO WE JUST CUT TO CENRED MEETING MORGAUSE ATOP A NICE MOUNTAIN, AMID A NICE BACKDROP TO HAVE SEX. UNF, CENRED IS PARTICULARLY SEX-WORTHY TODAY I THINK, MORGAUSE.
GAAAAAAAAAAAH THE LOOKS THEY GIVE EACH OTHER, AND THE VOICES THEY USE TO ADDRESS EACH OTHER. A;LGKJ;ALJ FUCKING HELL, GET A ROOM ALREADY.
THEY FUCK BANTER SOME MORE LIKE THE MARRIED ARTHUR/MERLIN, BEFORE MORGAUSE PROMISES TO GIVE CENRED A *FEAST* THAT HE WILL NEVER FORGET.
LMFAO, FEAST = EUPHAISM, AMIRITE? XDD
CENRED APPROVES!
I SHIP IT SO HARD!
THERE WAS AN A/G MOMENT IN THERE BUT IT GOT LOST AMONGST THE LOUD, ANIMALISTIC RUTTING COMING FROM MORGANA/MERLIN’S ROOM AND MORGAUSE/CENRED’S TENT AND THE SOUNDS OF SIR LEON BEING AWESOME. ALSO, MORGANA HAS MISSED MORGAUSE AND MUST FILL OUR SCREEN WITH BEAUTIFUL, INCESTUOUS LOVEMAKING.
THEY TALK ABOUT BRINGING CAMELOT TO ITS KNEES FROM THE INSIDE (LMFAO, SO GLAD THEY AREN’T TALKING ABOUT ARTHUR/MERLIN HERE, I MIGHT JUST DIE) AND MORGAUSE DISPLAYS THE WHITE TREE OF GONDOR ROWAN TREE BRANCH FROM LOTHLÓRIEN THE ISLE OF THE BLESSED (OIC WOT U DID THAR SHOW, MORGAUSE BEING NIMUEH’S APPRENTICE! :O)
MORGANA PROMISES, WITH A VOICE DRIPPING WITH SEXUAL INNUENDO, THAT SHE WILL NOT FAIL MORGAUSE.
VILLAGERS STREAM IN SLO-MO, ACCOMPANIED BY THE LOTR SOUNDTRACK. AWW :'(
ARTHUR HAS BEEN RUNNING AROUND SEARCHING FOR MERLIN, UNABLE TO BE PARTED FROM HIM FOR AN EXTENDED PERIOD OF TIME, BECAUSE OMG HE MIGHT GO MISSING FOR DAYS AT A TIME AGAIN! \0/
HIS RELIEF AT FINDING MERLIN SAFE IS LAPSED BY HIS CONFUSION HOWEVER, AT WHY MERLIN IS DOING ANYTHING OTHER THAN DOTING COMPLETELY AND *SPECIFICALLY* ON HIM.
MERLIN EXPLAINS THAT HE IS DOING HIS WIFELY DUTIES BY STOCKING UP ON FOOD, BECAUSE HE *KNOWS* HIS HUSBAND AND WHAT HE’LL BE LIKE IF HE HAD TO GO HUNGRY.
HE EVEN SPECIFICALLY ACQUIRED ARTHUR’S FAVOURITE BREAKFAST FOOD: EGGS. AWW~ BLESS HIM~!!
HE LOOKS SO PLEASED AT HOW DOMESTICATED HE HAS BECOME! ;LSKSDJG;LKJADG;LKJA
ARTHUR IS SUITABLY IMPRESSED BY MERLIN’S DEVOTION.
I LOVE THIS NEXT MOMENT SFM, YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW.
ARTHUR IS DOING HIS PRINCELY READYING FOR BATTLE AND DISCUSSING IT WITH BOTH SIR LEON AND MERLIN - TREATING HIS MANSERVANT EQUAL TO HIS SENIOR KNIGHT.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
RIGHT BEFORE THE BATTLE, ARTHUR GOES TO SIT BY HIS FATHER, IN CONTEMPLATION. AND OF COURSE, MERLIN IS THE ONE THAT GOES TO HIM, BECAUSE ARTHUR COULD NOT BE WITHOUT HIM.
AGA;LLGKJA NOW ONLY MERLIN IS ABLE TO SEE ARTHUR IN HIS WEAKEST MOMENTS - THE TIMES WHEN HE HAS TO BREAK FROM BEING A RULER AND TO JUST BE A MAN. ONLY MERLIN GETS TO SEE THIS BECAUSE HE IS ARTHUR’S GREATEST FRIEND AND LOVER, EVEN THOUGH ARTHUR WOULD NEVER ADMIT IT.
CRYING WITH HAPPINESS RN :'D
AFTER A HEARTFELT “I WILL NOT LET YOU DOWN” FROM ARTHUR TO UTHER, HE LEAVES TO SEE THE ENEMY AMASSING AT HELM’S DEEP THE CASTLE GATES.
OMFGOD, BUT THIS NEXT SCENE. *THIS SCENE MAKES THE ENTIRE SHOW.
MERLIN IS READYING ARTHUR FOR BATTLE, ALA 1x10: MOMENT OF TRUTH.
HE WANTS ARTHUR’S ATTENTION, SO HE “SLIPS” WHEN DOING UP ONE OF ARTHUR’S BUCKLES
AS PLANNED, ARTHUR IS PAYING ATTENTION.
ARTHUR IS AMUSED BY HIS BOYFRIEND’S NEED TO COMFORT HIM.
MERLIN WANTS ARTHUR TO KNOW THAT HE TRUSTS IN THEIR DESTINY.
ARTHUR IS CONFUSED BECAUSE HE HAS NOT HEARD ANYTHING ABOUT “THEIR DESTINY” BEFORE.
MERLIN TAKES THIS MOMENT TO DRAW OUT ARTHUR’S “SWORD” NICE... AND... SLOOOOOOOOW
HE TAKES A MOMENT TO FONDLE ARTHUR’S “SWORD” (OMG THIS IS A BEAUTIFUL MOMENT, WTF AM I SAYING?!?! >_<)
THEN GOES TO ARTHUR AND TELLS HIM, WITH LOVE AND CONVICTION IN HIS EYES, THAT ARTHUR WILL BE “THE GREATEST KING CAMELOT HAS EVER KNOWN”.
ARTHUR’S FACE TURNS SRS BSNS, HE REALISED HIS BOYFRIEND IS TELLING HIM THEY WILL STILL HAVE MORE TIME AFTER THIS BATTLE, BECAUSE HE BELIEVES IN US \0/
MERLIN TELLS ARTHUR TO “TRUST IN HIMSELF” AND ARTHUR SEEMS TO ACTUAL PAY ATTENTION TO THIS ADVICE NOW. IT LEAVES HIM KIND OF SPEECHLESS WITH LOVE
ARTHUR’S LIPS HAVE TROUBLE FORMING THE WORDS “I LOVE YOU” BEFORE THEY PART
BUT MERLIN THINKS HE KNOWS WHAT ARTHUR IS TRYING TO SAY AND GRINS LIKE A FOOL.
BUT IN THE END, ARTHUR MANAGES TO SAY IT!! :OO
EEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKK!!! =DD
ARTHUR HAS FINALLY REALISED HOW MUCH MERLIN MEANS TO HIM. IT MAY BE ON THE EVE OF BATTLE (KINDA LATE IF THEY WERE ABOUT TO DIE), BUT IT NOW MEANS THAT ARTHUR KNOWS JUST HOW MUCH HE LOVES HIS WISE, ADORABLE MERLIN. A;LFLKGJA;LKKJAG;LKAJ
ARTHUR GOES TO LEAVE HIS MEN, PAUSING FOR A MOMENT TO HAVE A BONDING MOMENT WITH HIS FAVOURITE KNIGHT ♥ ♥ ♥
WHO THEN VERY ENTHUSIASTICALLY SHOUTS THE BATTLE CRY “FOR THE LOVE OF CAMELOT”
I LOVE YOUR FACE RUPERT!!
UTHER IS WOKEN BY THE SOUNDS OF BATTLE OUTSIDE HIS WINDOW
QUICKLY HE DONS HIS CHAIN MAIL AND RUNS STRAIGHT TO THE FRONT OF THE LINE
WHERE SIR LEON TRIES TO CONVINCE HIM TO GO BACK TO REST,
UTHER THINKS “TO HELL WITH THAT BULLSHIT” AND RUSHES STRAIGHT INTO BATTLE. GOTTA HAND IT TO HIM, UTHER AINT NO COWARD!
IN THE HOSPITAL, MORGANA IS TENDING PATIENTS AND MERLIN TELLS GAIUS THE OBVIOUS: TO KEEP AN EYE ON MORGANA. HE HAS TO BE WITH ARTHUR, BECAUSE HIS HUSBAND DESTINY DEPENDS ON PROTECTING HIS HUSBAND.
POOR BB GETS HURT ON THE WAY BACK THOUGH D:
AMIDST ALL THE FIGHTING THAT HAS BEEN COMPLETELY RIPPED OFF LOTR TWO TOWERS, UTHER COMES CHARGING IN LOOKING LIKE A CRAZED BULL.
NGL, I WISH THIS WAS A MOMENT WHERE ARTHUR AND UTHER FOUGHT ALONGSIDE EACH OTHER, AT LEAST UNTIL UTHER WAS INJURED. I DO SEE ARTHUR’S POINT OF TRYING TO GET HIM OUT THOUGH, BECAUSE UTHER IS STILL A BIT CRAZY-INSANE.
GOD, THE LOOK OF PURE TERROR ON ARTHUR’S FACE WHEN HE SEES HIS FATHER FIGHTING. T_T
ARTHUR GIVES THE ORDER TO RETREAT, AND HIS MEN DO SO.
MERLIN SHOWS UP IN TIME TO MAGICK A FIRE WALL AND ASSIST A HURT KNIGHT. DEAR GOD, BLESS HIS HEART AND SOUL!
IN THE HOSPITAL, MORGANA IS AWARE THAT SHE IS BEING WATCHED.
BUT MANAGES TO MAKE HER ESCAPE ANYWAY, GAUIS FOLLOWING HER TO WHERE SHE HAS HIDDEN THE BRANCH OF ROWAN.
AND GAIUS PROVES THAT HE IS SOMETIMES AS DUMB AS MERLIN - FALLING FOR THE OLD “EVIL PERSON HIDING BEHIND THE DOOR” TRICK.
HE’S NOT EVEN *LOOKING* AT WHERE HER ARM IS STICKING OUT FROM BEHIND THE FUCKING DOOR!! AAARRRRRHHARLJEALJLKAJG;KLJFALKJF *HEADDESK*
CUT TO UTHER, BEING TOLD BY ARTHUR TO TRUST HIM, AND THEN LED AWAY BY MERLIN.
WHY YES, THE ONLY I INCLUDED THIS IS TO HAVE A [BLURRY] PICTURE OF UTHER WITH HIS ARMS AROUND MERLIN. I’M EASY AND CHEAP, WHAT CAN I SAY? 8D
MORGAUSE/CENRED MOMENT WHEREIN CENRED IS ALL PROUD OF HIS MEN AND MORGAUSE IS BAMF AND PUTTING TRUST IN MORGANA. WHO IS THEN SHOWN BEING HER OWN BAMF AND THRUSTING THE ROWAN BRANCH INTO THE FAKE GROUND.
LULZ, AS IF THAT’S PURE CONCRETE.
THE BRANCH MANAGES TO GIVE MERLIN A MAGICK ORGASM THOUGH, OR THE EQUIVALENT, IF THE LOOK ON HIS FACE IS ANYTHING TO GO BY.
MORGAUSE ALSO CAME IN HER PANTS, BY THE LOOK ON HER FACE.
WEIRD SCI-FI LOOKIN’ MAGIC STARTS LIGHTING UP THE ROOM
AND DEAD THINGS START RISING OUT OF CATACOMBS ALA ‘THE MUMMY’
ARTHUR SEES MERLIN AND CALLS OUT TO HIM, WONDERING WHERE THE HELL HE DISAPPEARED TO.
AWW, ARTHUR WANTS TO KEEP MERLIN CLOSE TO KNOW THAT HE IS SAFE ♥ HE CAN’T BEAR TO HAVE HIM OUT OF SIGHT ♥
MERLIN TELLS ARTHUR THAT HE HASN’T BEEN ANYWHERE SPECIAL AND THEN SOMEHOW LOSES HIS TALENT FOR TALKING WHEN HE SEES THE WALKING SKELETON WARRIOR BEHIND ARTHUR.
ARTHUR, IN HIS HEROIC, MANLY WAY, TURNS AND BEGINS FIGHTING IT TO STOP THE UNDEAD FROM ADVANCING AND HURTING MERLIN
AND SUDDENLY, MERLIN DISCOVERS HIS HIDDEN SWORD SKILLS, AFTER YEARS OF ARTHUR TRYING TO TEACH HIM.
OH WAIT, NEVERMIND. HE JUST FELL ON HIS ARSE - JUST AS HOPELESS AS ALWAYS.
JUST WHEN THE UNDEAD GOES TO FINISH MERLIN OFF, A RANDOM KNIGHT STEPS IN TO SAVE THE DAY!
YOU KNOW, I SUSPECT ARTHUR (UNBEKNOWN TO MERLIN) HAS ORDERED THAT ALL OF THE KNIGHTS KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR MERLIN AND IF IT LOOKS LIKE HE’S IN TROUBLE, THEY ARE UNDER STRICT ORDERS TO SAVE HIM. EVEN SO, ALL THE KNIGHTS WOULD HAVE ALREADY KNOW TO DO THAT, BECAUSE THEY UNDERSTAND HOW IMPORTANT MERLIN IS TO ARTHUR 8DDDD
MERLIN IS RELIEVED THAT RANDOM!KNIGHT SAVED HIS LIFE. LOL, JUST LOOK AT HIS FACE.
SIDE NOTE: I BET THIS IS THE FACE COLIN MAKES WHEN BRADLEY SWALLOWS HIS COCK IN A SURPRISE!BLOW JOB. XDDD
SPEAKING OF COCK. XD
ON THIS DAY, I THANK THE FANGODS FOR THE WONDERFULLY THIN FABRIC OF MERLIN’S BREECHES.
I AM SO GOING TO HELL.
OBVIOUSLY, THE UNDEAD ARM IS STILL SCUTTLING AROUND AND TRYING TO GET TO MERLIN. LOL THE FACE HE MAKES TRYING [UNSUCCESSFULLY] TO HIT IT WITH THAT SWORD. XDDDDDDDD
THE BOYS ARE RUNNING UP THE STAIRS (ALONE \0/), ARTHUR WITH A PROTECTIVE ARM ON MERLIN. A;LKGJA;LKJKG;ALKGKJ
ARTHUR TELLS MERLIN TO GET GAIUS TO SEAL OFF THE HOSPITAL (AWW, MERLIN DIDN’T WANT TO LEAVE HIS HUSBAND~). ARTHUR PUTS HIS BEST BITCHFACE FIGHTING FACE ON AND GOES AND KICKS THAT SKELETON’S BONY ARSE!
SURPRISE! UTHER IS DEMANDING THAT GAIUS LET HIM OUT SO HE CAN GO DEFEND HIS KINGDOM DAMMIT, BUT GAIUS IS HAVING NONE OF IT.
HE FORCEFULLY REMINDS HIS BOYFRIEND OF THE MEDICINE HE HAD EARLIER AND TELLS HIM TO GET THE FUCK BACK INTO BED. THEN HE GOES TO SEE MERLIN IN HIS PANIC. MERLIN TELLS HIM TO SEAL OFF THE HOSPITAL AND THAT HE IS GOING TO TRY STOP MORGANA.
SIR LEON HAS YET ANOTHER MOMENT OF AWESOME BAMFERY FIGHTING THE UNDEAD.
ARTHUR IS TRYING TO CONVINCE GAIUS TO GET HIS FATHER TO SAFETY. UNFORTUNATELY THEY CAN’T BECAUSE THEY LOST THE LOWER TOWN. ARTHUR HAS JUST REALISED THE AWFUL CONSEQUENCES OF WHAT THIS BATTLE COULD MEAN \O/
MEANWHILE, MERLIN TRACKS MORGANA DOWN, WHO IS LOOKING PARTICULARLY GORGEOUS WITH THOSE SEXY EYES
COMPARED TO MERLIN’S LOOK OF RESIGNATION.
HE TRIES TO PERSUADE MORGANA THAT THIS ISN’T THE RIGHT THING TO DO - PEOPLE ARE DYING.
MORGANA: GOOD!
HAHAHA, FUCKING EXCELLENT! YOU TELL HIM MORGANA. GOD I LOVE YOUR MOTHERFUCKING HBIC FACE RIGHT THERE. UNF UNF UNF!
MORGANA LAUNCHES INTO AN IRONIC RANT ABOUT HAVING MAGIC AND HATING UTHER BECAUSE OF IT. OH MORGANA, IF ONLY YOU KNEW THE TRUTH. MERLIN, IF I DIDN’T THINK MORGANA WOULD NOW USE THE KNOWLEDGE THAT YOU HAVE MAGIC AGAINST YOU, I WOULD BE SCREAMING FOR YOU TO REVEAL YOURSELF TO HER RIGHT NOW.
INSTEAD OF MAGIC, MERLIN PULLS OUT THE BIG PUPPY EYES AND TELLS MORGANA THERE IS ANOTHER WAY INSTEAD OF THE FIGHTING.
FOR A MOMENT IT LOOKS LIKE MORGANA IS SEEING REASON. I MEAN, COULD YOU RESIST MERLIN’S FUCKING HEART-WRENCHING FACE?
BUT THEN MORGANA SNAPS OUT OF IT AND GETS HER FIGHTING STANCE ON, LOOKING MIGHTY FUCKING FINE IN THE PROCESS, I MIGHT ADD.
MERLIN LOOKS KINDA EXCITED BY THIS FIGHT, DON’T YOU RECKON? LIKE I SAID: MERLIN/MORGANA LIKE IT ROUGH. VERY ROUGH. 8DD
FIGHTING!STANCE MORGANA IS UNNNNNNNNNNNNFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF, AMIRITE?
FUUUUUUUUUUU MORGANA, HOW HOT CAN YOU GET?? TOTALLY A DROOLING MESS RIGHT NOW.
SRSLY, FIRST TIME I SAW THAT CLIP I NEARLY SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUSTED. FFS, SO MUCH HOT, I CAN’T EVEN.
MERLIN SOMEHOW MANAGES TO NOT GET KILLED FOR AT LEAST FIVE SECONDS [MAYBE ITS ~MAGIC~], BEFORE USING ACTUAL MAGIC TO MAKE THE CEILING CAVE IN ON TOP OF MORGANA.
UNF, DAT ASS.
HE RUNS OVER AND ATTACKS THE ROWAN TREE THING WITH HIS NEW ALMIGHTY MAGIC-SWORD POWERS.
[WOOT, GO MERLIN!]
CAUSING THE UNDEAD TO CRUMBLE INTO DUST.
SIR LEON (WHOM I SHALL NOW REFER TO AS SIR BAMF) RUNS STRAIGHT BACK INTO ACTION WITH HIS RAWWWWWRRRRRRRR FACE ON
IT TURNS THE TIDE OF THE BATTLE AND CENRED REASLISES THAT THE BATTLE IS LOST.
I KIND OF LOVE HIM A WHOLE LOT RIGHT IN THIS MOMENT, BECAUSE HE CARES MORE FOR THE LIVES OF HIS MEN THAN GAINING UTHER’S KINGDOM AND WINING MORGAUSES LOVE, AFFECTION FAVOUR.
MORGAUSE IS NOT PLEASED.
NEXT MORNING, WHEN UTHER HOLDS COURT, THE MARRIED COUPLE WALK IN ARM IN ARM AND MERLIN TRIES TO TELL ARTHUR ABOUT WHAT MORGANA DID.
ARTHUR CUTS HIM OFF, TELLING HIM THEY ALREADY KNOW. MERLIN IS CONFUSED BY THIS (D’YA RECKON HE THOUGHT HE WAS GOING TO BE PUBLICALLY ACKNOWLEDGED, FOR ONCE, FOR SAVING EVERY SINGLE DAMN PERSON’S LIFE?)
LOL THE EXTRA IN THE BACKGROUND, PLAYING HIS PART WELL.
UTHER GIVES HIS SPEECH AND MENTIONS THE TRAITOR, AND MERLIN’S EARS START TO GET HOPEFUL.
BUT OF COURSE, UTHER IS BLINDLY AND PROUDLY IN LOVE WITH MORGANA AND ENDS UP GIVING ALL THE CREDIT THAT SHOULD HAVE GONE TO MERLIN, TO MORGANA INSTEAD.
AWW, I KIND OF FEEL FOR HIM HERE. NOT THAT ANYONE COULD HAVE DEDUCED OTHERWISE - I MEAN, DESTROYED MAGIC EVIL THING, MORGANA LYING ON THE GROUND, SUDDEN DEATH OF UNDEAD ARMY? NO ONE WOULD HAVE THOUGHT THAT IT WAS ACTUALLY MERLIN WHO WAS SAVING THE CASTLE. :( POOR, UNAPPRECIATED MERLIN.
BUT MERLIN IS ONTO YOU MORGANA!!
FUCKING CHRIST, THE LOOKS THEY ARE EXCHANGING HERE COULD PUT A HOUSE ON FIRE. SO MUCH FUCKING CHEMISTRY, PWAOR!
AND WE END ON A LOVELY FATHER/SON BETWEEN MERLIN AND GAIUS.
GAIUS GIVES GOOD ADVICE ABOUT MERLIN NOT TURNING TO HATE, AND MERLIN SMILES AT THIS, BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW HE’S FAAAAAAAAAAR TOO GOOD-NATURED TO EVER HATE THAT MUCH
(MERLIN MAY EVEN BE A BIT TOO FORGIVING - UTHER EXHILED HIS FATHER, TRIED TO KILL HIS ADOPTED FATHER, LET HIS HOMETOWN BE AT MERCY TO BANDITS AND WOULD BE EXECUTED HIMSELF IF HE WAS EVER FOUND OUT)
AND LIKE CLOCKWORK, AS SOON AS MERLIN BEGINS TO JOIN HIS ALONE TIME [AND HIS MEAL], ENTER ARTHUR LIKE A PETULANT CHILD SHOUTING FOR MERLIN’S BACKSIDE. OUTSIDE. RTFN.
MERLIN LIKES THE WAY ARTHUR TALKS ABOUT HIS BACKSIDE AND GIVES HIS THE SUGGESTIVE EYEBROWS. AND A SMIRK. GUH!
[a8c-sock MADE AN EXCELLENT POINT ABOUT THIS MOMENT IN HER LJ. COPY&PASTED: “Merlin is eating, clearly his chores are over and presumably Arthur shouldn't needing him. But Arthur still does. This new Merlin dependency is sweet....awwww.”]
IT’S TOTALLY CANON, BITCHES!
THIS EPISODE: TOTALLY REDEEMING S2. COMPLETELY. PLEASE KEEP IT UP SHOW.
NEXT WEEK: COPIOUS FART JOKES THAT MAKE EVERYONE OVER THE AGE OF TWELVE WEEP AT THE COMEDY!FAIL