Merlin 2x12 Spazcap Rewrite - I Reject Your Canon and Make it Gay!
I AM ACTUALLY REFRAINING FROM USING SIZE10 FONT HERE, SINCE OTHERWISE THE WHOLE POST WOULD HAVE TO BE LIKE THAT. BECAUSE THIS EPISODE WAS SIX WAYS INTO ZOMFGOD COUNTRY.
RIGHT, STARTING FROM THE BEGINNING - WE HAVE A LOLTASTIC CGI-NOT-CGI CASTLE RUIN, BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY WE COULD NEVER HAVE A CASTLE AS PRETTY AS CAMELOT.
OH HAIIIIIII, WALLACE MONUMENT. I C U STANDING THAR.
METHINKS THIS IS ALSO A RIP-OFF OF STIRLING CASTLE, BUT WITH A FEW ALTERATIONS. Y/Y?
AND OF COURSE, WE HAVE EVIL!MORGAUSE BEING EVIL AS SHE SAYS “UTHER~~~~~~ PENDRAGON~~~~~~~~~!” LOOOOOL MORGAUSE, HOW GOES THIS OBVIOUSLY, BLATANT EVIL? XDDD
SHE REAWAKENS THE CLEARLY EVIL RINGWRAITHS TWO POINT OH: THE IDIRSEXSHOLAS KNIGHT’S.
LMFAO @ THIS SHOW AND ITS DRAMATISATION. XDDD
MORGAUSE SMILES THE I-JUST-WON-BINGO-IN-KILLING-J00 SMILE.
AFTER CREDITS, WE HAVE UTHER LOUNGING IN HIS THRONE, MAKING THIS FUCKING FAAAAAAAAAAAACE.
LOLOLOLOL HE LOOKS SO SUPREMELY UNCONCERNED THAT CERTAIN TRAGEDY SHALL BEFALL THE EARTH. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I LOVE YOU, SO FUCKING MUCH UTHER. XDDD
LOL SO INSTEAD, GAIUS TAKES CHARGE OF HIS HUSBAND KING, LIKE A GOOD WIFE ADVISOR, AND WE LEARN THAT THESE KNIGHTS HAVE BEEN CHASTITY-ED FOR THE LAST THREE HUNDRED YEARS, AND NOW THAT THEY ARE FREE, THEY SHALL RIDE THE KING ONCE MORE - ENSURING ALL ORGIES WILL RIDE THE PENDRAGON’S FOREVERMORE.
EEEEEKKKKKKKKKK - UTHER WANTS ARTHUR TO TAKE A RIDE OUT THERE, SINCE HE REALISES THAT ARTHUR IS OBVIOUSLY SEXUALLY FRUSTRATED AND NEEDS SOME RELEASE. IF THE KNIGHTS REALLY HAVE REAWAKED, HIS SON SHOULD RETURN HOME IN BETTER SPIRITS. A;GLLJGLKJAKL UTHER, I LOVE HOW YOU SHIP ARTHUR/MERLIN JUST AS HARD AS US. 8DDD
ARTHUR SHOWS JUST HOW SEXUALLY FRUSTRATED HE IS, BY DISMISSING THIS CRAP IN THE COURT, SAYING HE DOES *NOT* NEED TO GET SOME VERY MUCH, WHILE LOOKING OVER POINTEDLY AT MERLIN. XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD LOL. MERLIN AND ARTHUR ARE CLEARLY SMUG ABOUT THEIR EXCUSE TO FUCK “QUEST” AWAY FROM THE CASTLE. THEY THINK THEY’VE FOOLED PEOPLE, OR SOMETHING. THEY MIGHT AS WELL HAVE BEEN DOING THIS:
IT’S SO CLEARLY OBVIOUS! XDDDDDDDDD
MERLIN IS WITH GAIUS, ALSO ACTING SURPREMELY UNCONCERNED ABOUT THIS SO-CALLED “STORY”. LOL HE COULD SOUND LIKE HE GIVES A SHIT ABOUT THIS SERIOUSNESS OF THIS SITUATION, CLEARLY HE IS JUST EXCITED TO BE ON THE ROAD AND GETTING SOME FROM ARTHUR. OH MERLIN, YOU DON’T EVEN TRY TO DISGUISE YOUR LOVE. ♥
HE DOES, HOWEVER, BECOME MUCH MORE INTERESTED ONCE GAIUS STARTS TALKING ABOUT SEDUCING AND SUCCUMBING TO POWER AND FORCES THAT RODE THE SORCERESS!!! I SWEAR TO GOD - IT’S IN THE SHOW. MY FUCKING GOD. AND MERLIN IS VERY, VERY INTRIGUED BY THIS LAND-DESTROYING SEX ORGY, HIS EARS ARE PERKING UP AND HE ASKS MORE ABOUT IT. TURNS OUT PEOPLE DIDN’T LIKE ALL THE DESTRUCTION FROM SO MANY NOBLEMAN’S OVERPOWERING SEXING (TOO MANY COMMONER DEATHS, I SUPPOSE, RAN OUT OF SEXSLAVES) SO IT WAS ONLY AFTER THE SORCERESS WAS KILLED THAT THE KNIGHTS FINALLY GREW STILL. OHMYFUCKINGGOD, I DID JUST QUOTE THE SHOW THERE, I DO NOT LIE. ;LAKGJA;LGKJALKGJ BLATANT SEX REFERENCES SAY WOOOOOOOOOT!!!
LMFAO AND GAIUS SAYS THAT “SOMETHING HAS AWOKEN THEM” AND MERLIN GETS ALL KNOWINGLY - ‘YEA, ARTHUR AND HIS HUGE PENIS EGO” XDDDDDD
AS THE GAY PARADE RIDES OUT TO MEET THIS DEATHLY ORGY, MORGANA AND HER BREASTS WALTZ INTO VIEW, SLIGHTLY PERPLEXED AS TO WHY THERE IS A NOTE ON HER WINDOW SILL.
OH KATIE, SO ARE YOU SO FUCKING FINE?
ANYWAY, CHECK OUT THIS FUCKING NOTE THAT SHE READS. I AM ACTUALLY IMPRESSED TO SEE THAT IT IS WRITTEN IN YE OLDE ENGLISH OR SOMETHING, SO DON’T SAY THE SHOW ISN’T SET IN MIDDLE EARTH THE MIDDLE AGES. OR THEREABOUTS.
GWEN ENTERS AND ASKS IF HER MISTRESS IF SHE NEEDS SOMETHING WARMER, BUT MORGANA DOESN’T WANT TO BE RE-DRESSED. NGL, MY FACE WAS LIKE THIS;
WHAT ARE YOU DOING, MORGANA? DENYING GWEN THE CHANCE TO PERV UNSHAMEDLY AT YOUR BEAUTIFUL NAKED BODY! D:< YOU CANNOT JUST DUMP HER ARSE BECAUSE MORGAUSE IS SUDDENLY BACK ON THE SCENE AND SENDING YOU LOVE LETTERS! GWEN HAS BEEN YOUR FAITHFUL LOVER UNTIL NOW ALWAYS! YOU CAN’T BE POLITELY DISTANCE. HER FEELINGS WILL BE HURT!
WHICH THEY CLEARLY ARE.
A;LKLGKJALKJ BUT ITS OK, BECAUSE THE SLASH GODS WISH TO GRACE US WITH SOME MORE CARING!ARTHUR WORRYING ABOUT HIS BOYFRIEND. MOAR EXPEDITION PERFECTION, I CANNOT EVEN.
HE’S LOOKING BACK AT MERLIN, BECAUSE HE CANNNOT BEAR TO LOOK AWAY FROM HIM.
MERLIN’S EARS ARE SLIGHTLY SCARED AND VERY NERVOUS BECAUSE HE DOESN’T THINK HIS PENIS CAN TAKE ANYMORE PUNISHMENT - ARTHUR’S BEEN BREAKING SOME HORSES’ BACK, IF THIS SMIRK IS ANYTHING TO GO BY.
OH BOYS, YOUR GHEI SEXING IS SO OBVIOUS!
BACK IN CAMELOT GAYELOT, MORGANA IS SNEAKING OUT TO HAVE SEXUAL RELATIONS WITH MORGAUSE. HO HO HO! I SEE YOUR LOOKS OF LONGING AND HAND TOUCHING THERE, MORGAUSE.
LOL MORGANA JUST OPENS HER LEGS AND LAYS IT ALL OUT ON THE TABLE. OBVIOUSLY SHE TRUSTS THIS WOMAN (ALBEIT WITH WHOM SHE HAS SUCH A FIREY CONNECTION), AND PRACTICALLY SIGNS AWAY HER LIFE HEART. OH MORGANA, YOU ARE TOO TRUSTING OF THESE EVIL GUYS!
THEY DO ODD THINGS IN THE DARK!
OHOHOHOH, AND DON’T FORGET THIS - MORGANA ACTUALLY MENTIONED THAT SHE HAD THE CHANCE TO BE UTHER’S ASSISSIN. \O/ OMFG I DON’T BELIEVE IT! WE HAVE A CONTINUITY REFERENCE! TO SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED LAST SEASON! :OOOOO I DON’T BELIEVE IT!!!!!
[INSERT GIF OF GAIUS’S “I DON’T BELIEVE IT” HERE XD] -
BUT BACK TO THE FEMMSLASH - MORGAUSE HIT MORGANA SO HARD THAT SHE WOKE UP THE NEXT DAY, IN HER NIGHTCLOTHES, BACK IN BED AND WITH NO RECOLLECTION OF HAVING GOT THERE. LOL!
GWEN COMES IN AND YAWNS ALL OVER THE PLACE, BECAUSE SHE WAS ALSO UP ALL NIGHT, WATCHING THAT MORGAUSE/MORGANA LOVIN’.
LOL ANGEL’S ACTING. I DO LOVE IT. *SQUISHES HER*
MORGANA MAKES UP FOR HER BEHAVIOUR YESTERDAY WITH MORNING SEX KIND WORDS.
NEXT IS UTHER, WHO IS BEING TENDED TO BY HIS WIFE. LOL THEY REALLY ARE THE OLDER VERSION OF MERLIN/ARTHUR.
LKDJFHAKFJD;; THE WAY GAIUS SAYS “YOU HAVE A ~FEVER~” LIKE HE’S TALKING TO A CHILD. LOLOL SO FUCKING MARRIED.
UTHER’S SEX FACE, NEERRRRRGGGGGG, NGL, I CAME.
LOL NURSE LEON. OH THE ROLE PLAY, I LOVE IT.
XDDD
BUT KLJKJGKGFDJTDK BACK TO THE GAY PARADE, ARRIVING AT ORGY PALACE. THEY ARE RIDING RATHER QUICK, DO YOU SEE????
AND ONCE INSIDE, MERLIN AND ARTHUR CANNOT HELP BUT ACT LIKE AN OLD MARRIED COUPLE.
FIRST, THEY MOVE ABOUT IN SYNC.
;ALKGJ;LJG
THEN THEY HAVE SOME GOOD NATURED “BANTER” (WHICH YOU TOTALLY KNOW IS A METAPHOR).
AND MERLIN HEARS A TREMBLING SOUND. LOL, MY MIND IMMEDIATELY SAID “FIC SEX”, WHEREAS ARTHUR SAID IT WAS MERLIN’S KNEE’S KNOCKING. HAHA, I LIKE HIS THOUGHTS BETTER, THEY’RE DIRTIER. OH ARTHUR, ALWAYS SO KEEN.
BACK TO CAMELOT GAYELOT, WHERE GWEN HAS GONE TO SEE GAIUS. SHE IS WORRIED FOR HER STAMINA, SHE CANNOT KEEP UP WITH MORGANA’S NEED. EVEN GAIUS SAYS HE MIGHT NEED SOME, BECAUSE HE CANNOT KEEP UP WITH UTHER EITHER.
A;LGKJAJ HE EVEN MAKES THIS FACE WHEN HE TRIES TO BEND OVER.
THEN COMMENTS HE NEEDS A LITTLE SOMETHING HIMSELF. LKAJGHA;KJG;AKJ!!!!!!!!!!!!! BUTTSEX SAYS WHUUUUUUUUT.
METHINKS THE NEWS OF THESE ALMIGHTY ORGY KNIGHTS HAS GOTTEN EVERYONE A LITTLE EXCITED. LOOOOOL.
BACK IN ORGY PALACE, ARTHUR IS STILL DISBELIEVING OF THIS FANTASTIC SEX, UNTIL MERLIN SHOWS HIM HOW. LOL LOOK AT HIS FUCKING LIPS, THEY’RE OH SO SMUG.
THE SEXSHOLAS KNIGHTS ARE WATCHING YOUR BUTTSEX, MERLIN AND ARTHUR.
AND THEY PULL OUT THEIR PHALLIC SWORDS TO JOIN IN!
ARTHUR NOW UNDERSTANDS WHY THIS IS SUCH A BIG DEAL - HE CANNOT TAKE SUCH A BIG SWORD PENIS.
LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO @ HIS FAAAAAAAAACE.
BRADLEY JAMES, YOUR FACES, I SWEAR TO GOD. BEST THING IN THE SHOW.
THE GAYELOT KNIGHTS QUICKLY FALL UNDER THE MIGHT OF THE SEXSHOLAS KNIGHTS, ALTHOUGH ARTHUR MANAGES TO HOLD HIS OWN. CLEARLY ALL THAT SEX WITH MERLIN HAS PREPARED HIM WELL!
HE EVEN MANAGES TO STICK HIS SWORD PENIS INTO ONE OF THE KNIGHTS, AND IS ALL ARROGANT LIKE, THINKING HE IS NOW DOMINATRIX.
SO HE IS SLIGHTLY CONFUSED, WHEN THE RINGWRAITH SEXSHOLAS KNIGHT PRACTICALLY LULZ IN HIS FACE.
ALTHOUGH HE GETS A RIGHT SHOCK WHEN HE SEE’S THIS GIANT DICK COMING TOWARD HIM!
LMFAO, ARTHUR’S FAAAAAAAACE, HE LOOKS MORE THAN A LITTLE FREAKED OUT THAT THE LARGE, UNIDENTIFIED PENIS IS TRYING TO POKE HIM. LOLOLOLOL!!!
MERLIN GETS ATTACKED BY THE SEXSHOLAS KNIGHTS, BUT ARTHUR COMES TO THE RESCUE!!!!!!!!!!!! ARTHUR IS ALL “GET YOUR FILTHY SLUTTY HANDS OFF MY BOYFRIEND, NO ONE CAN TOUCH HIM BUT ME!”
SUCK ON THAT BITCH!
JEALOUS!ARTHUR IS PROTECTIVE AND BITCHY. I LOVE IT!
MERLIN HELPS REPAY THE SAVING-FAVOUR BY RECOVING ARTHUR’S PENIS WHEN IT GETS STUCK IN ONE OF THE KNIGHTS.
LOL ATTACK OF TOO MANY SWORDS PENIS’S.
MERLIN’S SWORD PENIS TO THE RESCUE!
ARTHUR YELLS AT MERLIN TO RUN! RUUUUUUUUN, MERLIN, RUUUUUUUUUN~!
\O/ THE URGENCY IN HIS VOICE, HOMYFUCKINGGOD, THE LOVE. HE IS SO SCARED FOR HIS BOYFRIEND, AND YET!!! MERLIN DOES NOT WANT TO LEAVE WITHOUT ARTHUR, EVEN SHOUTING “NO I WON’T LEAVE WITHOUT YOU!” HE DOESN’T EVEN LEAVE WHEN ARTHUR PUSHES HIM TOWARD THE DOOR AND SCREAMS “WILL YOU DO AS I SAY”. INSTEAD HE JUST WATCHES FROM THE DOORWAY. \OOOOOO/ SO MUCH LOVE, ONE BODY CANNOT CONTAIN IT. NEERRGGGGGKJAL;GJA;LJ
MERLIN HOWEVER, COMES UP WITH A BRILLIANT IDEA TO SAVE THEM FROM THE SEXSHOLAS RINGWRAITHS KNIGHTS. HE PERFORMS SOME “MAGIC” (AKA, SEX)
WITH ARTHUR
ZOMG THEIR BUTTSEX FAAAAACES. THEIR EXPRESSIONS SAY IT ALL, WORDS NOT EVEN NECESSARY.
BUT THE CHANGE IN POWER DYNAMICS DOES THE TRICK, THE SEXSHOLAS KNIGHTS ARE BLOWN AWAY BY THE HOTNESS OF DOMINATING!MERLIN AND OUR BOYS MANAGE TO ESCAPE WITH THEIR PENIS’S STILL INTACT.
ZOMFG, THIS CHANGE IN POWER DYNAMICS HAS CLEARLY AFFECTED ARTHUR. WHEN THEY RUN DOWN INTO A CLEARING, HE NOTICES THAT POOR BB MERLIN HAS HURT HIS POOR BB ARM, AND WANTS TO MAKE IT ALL BETTER.
BUT MERLIN HAS MAN’D UP, AND HE DOESN’T FEEL THE PAIN. HE DIDN’T EVEN KNOW IT WAS THERE.
NONETHELESS, ARTHUR INSISTS ON BANDAGING MERLIN’S WOUND, WITH THE CLOTH THAT CAME FROM HIS OWN SURCOAT, IN AN ATTEMPT AT ROMANCE.
AND FUCK ME DEAD, I SWEAR TO GOD I DIED A HUNDRED TIMES OVER DURING THIS FIVE SECONDS, BECAUSE I DON’T THINK THEY COULD HAVE DONE ANYTHING GAYER. SERIOUSLY, THESE WRITERS MUST KNOW THAT USING PARTS OF YOUR CLOTHING/HANDKERCHIEF’S/NECKERCHIEF’S AS A BANDAGE IS LIKE, THE BRIGHTEST BEACON TO SHOW THAT THOSE TWO PEOPLE LOVE EACH OTHER MORE THAN LIFE. IT IS USED IN EVERY SINGLE ANIME TO EVER EXIST, AND I *KNOW* IT’S BEEN IN PLENTY OF WESTERN MOVIES/SHOWS. JUST HOLY FUCKING SHIT, CAN YOU ASK FOR A ANYMORE CANON SHIP?
THEY RIDE BACK TO GAYELOT, WHERE EVERYONE HAS PASSED OUT FROM TOO MUCH SEXING. LOL MERLIN AND ARTHUR DON’T EVEN KNOW, OH BOYS. YOU’RE NOT THE ONLY ONE GETTING LUCKY, YOU KNOW!
IN THE COURTYARD, A PLOT CONVENIENT HORSE CONVENIENT PLODS INTO THE PLOT. BUT! THIS IS IMPORTANT BECAUSE WE SEE THAT SOMEONE IN THE MERLIN CREW FAIL AT DOING THEIR JOB.
AKA, MAKING SURE EACH SHOT IS CLEAN. XDDDDDDD
MERLIN RUNS UP THE STAIRS TO FIND GAIUS, SURELY HE CAN EXPLAIN THIS.
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNF, HOW CAN HE LOOKS SO FINE BY JUST RUNNING?!?! *DOES NOT UNDERSTAND*!!
MERLIN YELLS AND JUST FROM HIS TONE ARTHUR CAN TELL SOMETHING IS WRONG. AND OF COURSE, ARTHUR RUNS AS FAST AS HE CAN TO MERLIN’S SIDE.
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
THEY MISTAKE EVERYONE’S SEX EXHAUSTION FOR A MAGIC-SICKNESS. LOL SHOW, TRYING TO BE NAIVE. NOT FOOLING ANYONE.
ARTHUR WANTS TO FIND HIS FATHER, BECAUSE SURELY HE WOULDN’T BE ASLEEP OVERSEXED. THEY MANAGE TO FIND GAIUS (“ASLEEP”) AND THEY FIND GWEN SLEEPING ON THE FLOOR - LOL MORGANA CLEARLY KICKED HER OUT OF BED TO FUCK HER ON THE FLOOR. (LOL @ ARTHUR PULLING THE HAIR OUT OF HER FACE, GAY AS A WINDOW, FOR SRS).
THEY SEE SOME CURTAINS RUSSLING, WHICH IS STRANGE BECAUSE SUDDENLY OUR MAIN CHARACTERS AREN’T DEAF, BLIND AND DUMB. AND LOOK WHO THEY PULL OUT FROM THESE CURTAINS!
MORGANA! AND GAAAAAAAAAAAH DID YOU HEAR THAT WAY ARTHUR SPOKE TO HER? FUCKING CHRIST, IT WAS HOT LIKE WHOA. CLEARLY HE IS TRYING TO CALM HER AFTER THAT RAPE-ATTACK-FACE SCARE. OH ARTHUR ♥
MORGANA “DIDN’T KNOW IT WAS ARTHUR”, BECAUSE OF COURSE SHE WOULD HAVE BEEN GLAD TO HAVE SEX WITH SEE ARTHUR. UNF, SHE LOOKS SO GORGEOUS, TELLING ARTHUR WHAT HAPPENED AT COURT. JUST LOOOOOOOOOK. LOOK AT HER!
CHECK OUT THAT EYELINER SHE HAS ON!! \O/ OH I SEE WHAT YOU DID THAR, MAKE-UP DEPARTMENT. THE EXTENT TO WHICH MORGANA IS BECOMING EVIL WOULD ONLY REFLECT IN HOW MUCH EYELINER SHE HAS ON. I MEAN, LOOK AT MORGAUSE. LOL!
ARTHUR STILL INSISTS HIS FATHER MUST BE CELIBATE BUT MORGANA PRETENDS TO KNOW NOTHING (LOL, HER EXPRESSION IS CLEARLY HIDING SOMETHING. I BET SHE’S EMBARRASSED THAT SHE’S THE ONE THAT CAUSED UTHER TO PASS OUT FROM TOO MUCH ENTHUSIASTIC SEX. [AFTER GAIUS WAS FINISHED, I MEAN] XDDD)
MERLIN’S EARS COME TO HIS SIDE-LOVER’S DEFENCE, SAYING THAT MORGANA IS CLEARLY DISTRESSED. OH HEART, IT SAILS ON THE HOTNESS OF THIS SHIP!
ARTHUR ISN’T HAVING ANY OF IT THOUGH, BECAUSE HE SUSPECTS MORGANA KNOWS SOMETHING. LOL, SO CLUELESS ABOUT THE SEXING-ON’S IN THE COURT, TOO BUSY SHAGGING MERLIN. XDDDDD
BUT! \O/ ARTHUR SHOWS SOME INTELLIGENCE - HE IS PERPLEXED AS TO WHY MORGANA IS THE ONLY ONE STILL AWAKE. :OOOOOOOOOOOOO HOLY SHIT, ARTHUR USING THIS THINKING THING. I NEVER THOUGHT I’D SEE THE DAY.
BACK AT ORGY PALACE, THE SEXSHOLAS KNIGHTS ARE A-RIDING. THEY HAVE LEFT THE PALACE IN SEARCH OF SOME NEW PEOPLE TO SEX UP, SINCE NONE REMAIN THERE.
LOL CHECK OUT THIS TOTALLY BLATANT STOLEN-FROM-LOTR-RINGWRAITH’S SHOT. XDDD OH SHOW!
BACK IN THE CASTLE, MERLIN AND MORGANA ARE EYESEXING UP OVER THEIR MUTAL MAGIC SKILLZ - MERLIN OBVIOUSLY WANTS MORGANA IN BED, BUT IS BEING COCKBLOCKED BY ARTHUR’S INSISTENT YELLING ABOUT HIS FATHER.
MERLIN IS INCENSED AT HAVING BEEN COCKBLOCKED, PUTTING AS MUCH ARTHUR!SASS AS HE CAN INTO HIS “SEE, [THE KING’S] ALRIGHT”.
ARTHUR HOWEVER, ISN’T KEEN ON SHARING MERLIN, AND DECIDES TO MAKE A POINT. HE MUSHES UTHER’S FACE IN HIS ANGER TO CONVEY THAT IT IS NOT ALRIGHT!
LOL SLEEPING UTHER FTW.
MERLIN HAS A WEIRD KINK FOR UTHER, ESPECIALLY SLEEPING UTHER, AND HE IS TOTALLY CHECKING HIM OUT AS HE SNOOZES ON THE DESK, BENT OVER ALL INVITING LIKE.
PWAOR MERLIN, KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS.
ARTHUR DOES NOT HAVE TIME TO DEAL WITH MERLIN’S HORNINESS, SO HE JUMPS STRAIGHT BACK TO MORGANA - AND WHY SHE IS STILL AWAKE. HE IS NOT HAPPY THAT SHE IS PRETENDING TO KNOW NOTHING.
MERLIN HOWEVER, JUMPS IN TO SAVE HIS SIDE-LOVER FROM ARTHUR’S SEXUAL FRUSTRATION, CAUSING HIS EARS TO LIE AS HE LOOKS DOTINGLY AT HER.
LOL ARTHUR IS JEALOUS OF MERLIN’S ATTENTION TOWARD MORGANA, AND SULKS THAT SHE SHOULD HAVE JUST SAID SHE GOT THE STAMINA POTION FROM GAIUS, INSTEAD OF ACTING SO SHY AND SHIFTY, GOD!
MORGANA’S EYELINER IS SUITABLY SHOCKED AND GRATEFUL FOR MERLIN’S DEFENCE.
HER EYELINER EVEN SASSES AT ARTHUR AND HIS OVERACTING JEALOUSY! THIS IS THE FACE OF SOMEONE WHO IS DEFINITELY GOING TO BE INVOLVED IN A HOT, ROUGH THREESOME LATER. OH YES.
CAN YOU NOT SEE THE EYESEXING UST?!!!???!?!??!?!?!!!!!!!!
ARTHUR IS INTRIGUED BY THE POWER OF THIS STAMINA POTION, AND SENDS MERLIN OFF TO FIND IT.
HE GIVES MORGANA AN EYESEX WARNING TO STAY WITH UTHER AND PROTECT HIS CHASTITY (LOL YOU’RE ASKING THE WRONG PERSON ARTHUR!) WHILE HE GOES OFF TO THE LOWER TOWN TO SEE IF HE CAN FIND SOME MORE PLAYERS FOR THIS UPCOMING ORGY-OFF.
HE EVEN GIVES MORGANA THE PHALLIC SEX SYMBOL OF THE SHOW - HOW VERY APPROPRIATE! XDDDD
LOL MORGAUSE IS ON HER HORSE, THAT HAS APPROPRIATELY STYLED HAIR, DON’T YOU THINK??
XDDDDDD OH SHOW, YOUR RIDICULOUSNESS NEVER CEASES TO AMAZE ME.
THE SEXSHOLAS KNIGHTS SIT BEFORE HER ON THEIR HORSES, BUT DISMOUNT IN UNISON (*LOL*) AND KNEEL BEFORE THEIR MASTER.
MORGAUSE IS LOOKING EXCEPTIONALLY PLEASED AT HER ELEVATED STATUS OF “SEX GODDESS”,
WOULDN’T YOU AGREE?
CUT BACK TO MERLIN, IN GAUIS’S CHAMBERS, CONVINCED THAT HE WILL MAGIC HIM AWAKE AND THUS GIVE THEM MORE NUMBERS IN THE ORGY-DEPARTMENT. SINCE IT’S ONLY RIGHT TO HAVE UTHER-GAIUS THERE, TO BLIND MORGAUSE WITH THEIR LOVIN’.
LOL MERLIN SAYS “GAIUS, THIS IS GOING TO WAKE SEX YOU UP” AND PROCEEDS TO MAGICAL-GIRL-STYLE MAGIC GAIUS AWAKE.
GAIUS’S MOJO IS BACK IN BUSINESS, HE JUMPS UP ALL GRINNING AND READY TO GO:
MERLIN IS QUITE CHUFFED AT HIS AWESOMESAUCE:
LOOOOOL, HIS FUCKING FAAAAAAAAAACE.
HOWEVER, GAIUS KEEPS UP THE HAPPY-SEX FACE LOOK, AND MERLIN IS QUITE DUBIOUS THAT GAIUS COULD ACTUALLY LAST THAT LONG IN ONE POSITION.
SO HE DOES SOME SEXING MAGIC, JUST TO SEE, AND CAUSES GAIUS TO BLOW HIS LOAD.
YEP, THAT CHAIR LEG TOTALLY SYMBOLISES PENIS EXPLOSION. IT WAS A METAPHOR!
SO GAIUS CAME AND FELL BACKWARD ONTO THE FLOOR WITH THE FORCE.
MERLIN IS NOTICABLY IMPRESSED.
HOWEVER, HE DOESN’T HAVE TIME TO WAIT AROUND WHILE GAIUS RECOVERS. MERLIN NEEDS SEX ADVICE NOW, DAMMIT!
SO HE TRIES WATERSPORTS OUT ON GAIUS, SINCE THAT WORKED SO WELL WITH HIM AND ARTHUR IN EPISODE 2X04.
XDDDDDDD *WILL NOT MAKE PENIS EXPLOSION METAPHOR*
MERLIN’S OUTTA TIME THOUGH, BECAUSE ARTHUR APPEARS AT HIS DOOR TO TELL HIM TO COME QUICKLY. \O/ INSISTENT ARTHUR, HOW BAD HE WANTS IT.
LOL AND HOW QUICKLY MERLIN RUNS TO HIS BOYFRIEND. XDD
TO MAKE A POINT AT THE SEXSHOLAS ORGY KNIGHTS THAT ARE BEARING DOWN ON GAYELOT:
MERLIN AND ARTHUR HAD SEX ATOP THE TOWER.
JUST LISTEN TO THEIR PANTING! GEEZ BOYS, SAVE SOME FOR THE ORGY LATER!
THE SEXSHOLAS KNIGHTS ARE ENTERING THE CASTLE, HUNTING DOWN THE SO-CALLED UNRIDABLE PENDRAGONS.
BECAUSE THEIR GREATEST SEX ASSET IS STILL PASSED OUT, MERLIN AND ARTHUR DECIDE TO MOVE HIM ELSEWHERE, SO HE CAN RECOVER PEACEFULLY AND BE REFRESHED IN TIME FOR THE SEX-OFF.
MERLIN HOWEVER, IS ASTONISHED THAT UTHER WANTS TO KEEP GOING, EVEN IN HIS SLEEP.
LOL I SEE YOU EYEING OFF HIS PENIS THAR. IS IT TOO DISTRACTING AND CAUSING AROUSAL IN YOUR OWN PENIS, MERLIN?
SO MORGANA GIVES MERLIN A HAND IN PULLING HIS LEGS ALONG. LOL, DIRTY THOUGHTS ARE DIRTY.
MERLIN IS AMUSED BY THIS POWER PLAY THAT HE SUDDENLY HAS OVER UTHER. UTHER HAS NEVER LET MERLIN HAVE HIS WAY WITH HIM QUITE LIKE THIS BEFORE.
MERLIN STILL FINDS IT AMUSING, EVEN AFTER ARTHUR BERATES HIM FOR THINKING IMPURE THOUGHTS. BUT THEN HE ASKS ABOUT THE STAMINA POTION, AND MERLIN AND MORGANA SHARE A SEX SECRET WITH THEIR EYESEX.
ONE WHICH THEY CANNOT SHARE WITH ARTHUR, OF COURSE. FOR IT INVOLVES NAKED UTHER, SOME CLOTH AND A WHOOOOOOLE LOT OF OIL.
MERLIN IS NOW BEGINNING TO UNDERSTAND HOW EVERYONE GOT TO BE SO SEXUALLY EXHAUSTED, AND JUST DUMPS UTHER AFTER HAVING HIS WAY WITH HIM. ARTHUR DISAPPROVES, SAYING THE SLEEPING PRINCESS NEEDS A COMFY BED.
LOL AT HIS FACE AND THE WAY HE SAYS “MERLIN!” (IT’S HIS SPECIAL WAY OF SHOWING AFFECTION, AWWWWW~)
AHAHAHA, SO MERLIN GETS THE KING TWO PILLOWS AND ARTHUR GIVES UP ON TRYING TO ARGUE WITH HIS WIFE. BECAUSE HE WILL NEVER WIN. LOL AND HE JUST THROWS HIS FATHER’S ARMS DOWN IN EXASPERATION. XDDDDDDDD WHY SUCH AN OLD MARRIED COUPLE, ARTHUR AND MERLIN?
ALL THIS TALK OF SEXING AND PULLING LEGS HAS GIVEN THESE TWO BOYS IDEAS. JUST LOOK AT THE WAY THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER, ALL HOT AND SWEATY AND READY TO GO.
MERLIN ASKS IN HIS LOW, HUSKY, SEXY VOICE IF ARTHUR IS ALRIGHT. ARTHUR WONDERS ALOUD IF MERLIN IS FEELING THE SAME WAY.
HE IS.
MERLIN SAYS “THEY’RE GETTING SICK HORNY” AND LOOKS OVER AT MORGANA, VEEEEEEERY SUGGESTIVE LIKE. ARTHUR HOWEVER, CONTINUES TO BE PRACTICAL AND TRIES TO QUELL THE INVITING IDEA OF A THREESOME, SINCE THAT’S EXACTLY HOW EVERYONE ELSE ENDED UP PASSED OUT.
MERLIN IS SO DEVASTATED. LOL
BUT MERLIN STILL WANTS TO PLAY, SO HE SUGGESTS DRESSING UTHER UP. AS A WOMAN.
ARTHUR HOWEVER, IS NOT SO SURE HE WANTS TO SEE HIS FATHER IN MERLIN’S FAVOURITE KINK.
HE DOES HOWEVER, GET AWFULLY EXCITED WHEN MERLIN MENTIONS DRESSING UTHER UP AS A SERVANT.
I THINK HE GOT A LITTLE CONFUSED, AND THOUGHT MERLIN WOULD BE DRESSING HIM UP, IF THIS POINTEDLY STARING AT HIS RAGING HARD-ON IS ANYTHING TO GO BY.
MERLIN IS ALSO LOOKING AT ARTHUR’S GLOVED HAND WITH UNDISGUISED LONGING. OBVIOUSLY HE WANTS SEX NOW WITH THOSE GLOVED FINGERS, WHICH IS DISTRACTING HIM FROM DOING HIS JOB.
ONCE MERLIN IS AWAY HOWEVER, ARTHUR MAKES HIS MOVE ON MORGANA, COMING UP TO HER WITH THE MOST SEDUCTIVE FACE.
HE EVEN PULLS OUT HIS SWORD PENIS AND LAYS IT ALL OUT FOR HER. OMFGOD ARTHUR, YOU LITTLE SLUT.
MERLIN, MEANWHILE, RUNS INTO A SEXSHOLAS KNIGHT AND SO FINDS IT QUITE BEFITTING TO HIDE IN A CLOSET. LOL, THIS SHOW AND IT’S METAPHOR’S!!! XDD
ONCE THAT’S OVER AND MERLIN MANAGES TO ESCAPE, HE GOES TO SEE THE SLASH DRAGON!! YEEPEEE!!!!!!
WHO IS SLEEPING. LOOOOOOL. TOO MUCH SEXING, EVEN FOR YOU, SLASH DRAGON? XDD
BUT NO, SLASH DRAGON IS NOT, IN FACT, SEXUALLY EXHAUSTED. HE WAS JUST TAKING A NAP, AND DID NOT APPRECIATE BEING WOKEN BY A SEXUALLY FRUSTRATED BOY, WHO IS ASKING FOR SEX ADVICE.
HE DOES FIND IT EXTREMELY FUNNY HOWEVER, THAT MERLIN THINKS HE’S INADEQUATE AND CANNOT FULFILL HIS GREAT BIG GAY DESTINY.
OH DRAGON, WHY SO AWESOME?
SLASH DRAGON WANTS TO BE FREE TO SPREAD THE GAY LOVIN’, AND DOESN’T TRUST MERLIN’S PROMISES OF A HOMOPHOBIC-FREE WORLD. SO MERLIN DOES SOME QUICK THINKING AND SWEARS TO FREE THE DRAGON - ON HIS MOTHER’S LIFE. \O/
THE DRAGON LOOKS RATHER PREDATORILY, DON’T YOU THINK? :O
HE DOES ALLOW BELIEVE MERLIN’S PROMISE THOUGH, AND EXPLAINS THE ENCHANTMENT TO HIM. THAT SO MUCH SEXUAL ENERGY CANNOT BE MAINTAINED WITHOUT A CONSTANT, SEXING PRESENCE. AND THE VESSEL JUST SO HAPPENS TO BE THES LADY MORGANA. \O/
MERLIN IS VERY UPSET TO HEAR THAT MORGANA HAS BEEN THE ONE SEXING UP HALF THE COURT. OH HOW HE THOUGHT THEIR LOVE WAS UNIQUE! THEY HAD MAGICAL SEX FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!
MERLIN’S EARS ARE RILED AND WANT TO STOP HER FROM CHEATING ON HIM. BUT THE SLASH DRAGON DOES NOT APPROVE OF THIS HETERO LOVIN’, AND SAYS SHE WON’T STOP UNTIL SHE IS DEAD. SO MERLIN MUST KILL BREAK UP WITH HER.
\O/ WHAT THE FLYING FUCK, DRAGON?! HATERS TO THE LEFT, MAN!!
MERLIN CRIES AT THE THOUGHT OF HAVING TO BREAK OFF WITH HIS SIDE-LOVER. DDDDDDDD:
BUT THE DRAGON INSISTS - MERLIN MUST NOW CHOSE BETWEEN HIS TWO GREAT LOVES. TO EITHER LEAVE MORGANA AND SAVE GAYELOT, OR ALLOW MORGANA TO KEEP HETERO-ING AND ARTHUR WILL DIE FROM HEARTACHE AND THEIR GREAT BIG GAY DESTINY WILL DIE WITH HIM.
\O/ OH HEART, THE TRAGIC ROMANCE!
MERLIN RUSHES BACK TO GAIUS’S CHAMBER, TO GET SOME OF GAIUS’S CLOTHES FOR THE KING TO WEAR. FALLLLAAAALLLLLLAAAAGIHA;LGJ MERLIN KNOWS WHO YOUR ONE TRUE LOVE IS UTHER, YOU SHOULD JUST ANNOUNCE IT ALREADY!
WHILE THERE, HE NOTICES THE VIAGRA HEMLOT POISON SLEEPING DRAFT, AND GRABS IT IN CASE HE NEEDS IT WITH MORGANA, FOR A TRULY ROMEO AND JULIET STYLE LOVE TRAGEDY.
ON HIS WAY BACK, ARTHUR GRABS MERLIN AND PULLS HIM ASIDE FOR A QUICKIE IN THE CORRIDOR, BECAUSE HE JUST CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE.
NNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGFFFFFFF THE BLATANT WANT!
THEY ARE INTERRUPTED BY MORGAUSE, AND ARTHUR LOOKS LIKE HE WANTS TO BREAK. HER. FACE.
MERLIN, THE GOOD WIFE, PREVENTS ARTHUR FROM DOING SOMETHING STUPID AND THEY RUSH BACK TO MORGANA.
MERLIN CANNOT KEEP THE BETRAYED LOOK FROM HIS FACE WHEN HE SEES HER AND THINKS ABOUT ALL THE AFFAIRS SHE HAD. \O/
MORGANA HOWEVER, EXPRESSES HER CONCERN AND LOVE FOR MERLIN, UNAWARE THAT MERLIN KNOWS OF HER ADULTERY (NOT THAT SHE THINKS MERLIN SHOULD CARE, THE BIG HYPOCRITE!)
ARTHUR COMES IN TO MOVE HIS FATHER SOMEWHERE THAT MORGAUSE CAN NEVER LAY HER SLUTTY FINGERS ON HIM. ARTHUR DOES NOT WANT THE THOUGHT OF HIS PREVIOUS SEXUAL INTEREST AND HIS FATHER EVER GETTING IT ON IN BED.
MERLIN IS HURTING WHEN MORGANA IS NOT SURPRISED AT THIS NEWS. HIS SUSPICIONS THAT MORGANA IS SLEEPING WITH EVERYONE ARE GROWING, AND MORGANA ISN’T DOING A GOOD JOB AT HIDING IT.
MY MERLIN’S HEART IS BREAKING INTO A THOUSAND PIECES. DDD:
MERLIN IS SLIGHTLY CONSOLED BY ARTHUR AND HIS ‘STAMINA POTION’ EXCUSE. BUT IT DOES NOT MAKE MERLIN FEEL ANY LESS DECEIVED.
BUT ARTHUR NEEDS HIM SO HE COMES TO HIS AID - MENTIONING THE PLOT CONVENIENT HORSE+CART THAT THEY SAW EARLIER, AND HOW THEY COULD USE THAT TO ESCAPE.
ARTHUR IS VERY IMPRESSED WITH HIS BOYFRIENDS EXPLOSION OF GOOD IDEAS. HE EVEN PRAISES MERLIN AND AWARDS HIM WITH GLOVE!PORN.
MERLIN IS HAPPY COOKIE.
HOWEVER, HE HAD BEEN HOPING FOR SOME ALONE-TIME TO HAVE “THE TALK” WITH MORGANA - PERHAPS TALK OUT THEIR ISSUES AND HOPEFULLY RESOLVE THIS IN A WAY THAT EVERYONE WINS. UNFORTUNATELY, ARTHUR TELLS MERLIN TO GO LOOK FOR THE CART, SO HE RUNS OUT INTO THE HALLWAY.
A SEXSHOLAS KNIGHT IS LURKING ABOUT THOUGH, AND MERLIN GETS THE SHIT SCARED OUT OF HIM WHEN ONE SHOWS UP BEHIND HIM! DUN DUUUN DUUUUUUUUN!
MERLIN IS QUICK-THINKING AND USES HIS FLEXIBLITY TO FLEX OUT OF THE WAY OF THE POKING PENIS.
THEN HE MAGIC’S THE FUCK RIGHT OUT OF THE SEXSHOLAS, WITH THIS MOTHERFUCKING SCARY-AS-HELL-ANGER!FACE
HE RUNS BACK TO HIS BOYFRIEND AND GIRLFRIEND, SAYING THAT THE SEXSHOLAS ORGY IS ALMOST UPON THEM, AND THEY WON’T MAKE IT OUT WITH THEIR CLOTHES OR PENISES IF THEY TRY THIS ESCAPE. ARTHUR IS STILL CONVINCED OTHERWISE - BECAUSE UTHER IS STRUNG UP IN A SLING. LOL HE’S SO PROUD OF HIS CREATION, MISSING THE SEXUAL CONNOTATIONS COMPLETELY.
HE HEARS SOME HEAVY BREATHING/MOANING AND DECIDES TO LURK ABOUT TO INVESTIGATE.
TURNS OUT SEXSHOLAS KNIGHT IS CLOSING IN, AND ARTHUR ORDERS THAT THEY HIDE BEHIND THE SCREENS, BECAUSE THAT’S NOT RIDICULOUS AT ALL
IT MEANS HE CAN GIVE THE SEXSHOLAS KNIGHT THE IMPRESSION THAT THEY ARE GETTING NAKED, EFFECTIVELY FOOLING IT FOR A FEW SECONDS, SO HE CAN GAIN THE UPPER HAND.
WITH HIS SWORD PENIS.
PENIS ATTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK~!
ARTHUR YELLS AT MERLIN TO PROTECT MORGANA AND THE KING WHILE HE FIGHTS OFF THE SEXSHOLAS SWORD-PENIS. THEY RUN OFF TO HAVE THEIR MERRY WAY WITH UTHER, WHO IS STILL STRUNG UP.
UNFORTUNATELY, AS THEY ARE JUST GETTING TO THE GOOD BIT, THEY ARE INTERRUPTED IN A VERY NASTY WAY.
MORGANA FALTERS, YELLING FOR MERLIN TO SAVE HER FROM THE FUG
MERLIN HAS SOME IMPORTANT DECISIONS TO MAKE QUICKLY - SAVE MORGANA OR SAVE BGD (BIG GAY DESTINY)?
DESPITE THE HEARTACHE, HE DECIDES TO SAVE HIS BGD, LEAVING MORGANA TO THE SEXSHOLAS AND SCREAMING RAAAAPE!
MORGANA’S LIFE IS THANKFULLY SPARED, BECAUSE THE SEXSHOLAS LIKED MORGANA’S SEXING.
MERLIN IS EVEN MORE UPSET AT THIS DISPLAY OF SEXUAL PROMISCUITY
HE RUNS OFF IN TEARS, ONLY TO BE STALKED BY ONE EVIL SEXSHOLAS KNIGHT OF EVILNESS.
JUST WHEN HE IS ABOUT TO MAGIC THAT FUCKER’S BALLS RIGHT OFF, ARTHUR COMES TO THE RESCUE, WITH SURPRISE BUTTSEX!
WHICH LEADS TO THE SEXSHOLAS KNIGHT TUMBLING INTO THE DARK VAGINA ABYSS
WOOT! YAY ARTHUR AND THE SAVIOUR OF SURPRISE!BUTTSEX!
DANGER NOW AVERTED, MERLIN GRABS UTHER AND ARTHUR GRABS MORGANA AND THEY RUSH INTO THE HALL OF ALL USES FOR SOME ORGY SEXING TIMES.
THEY EVEN HAVE WOOD OF PHALLIC PROPORTIONS AND SLOT IT INTO A HOLE. LOL
ARTHUR TRIES TO GET MORGANA TO REMEMBER WHAT WAS IN THE VIAGRA STAMINA POTION GAIUS GAVE HER, BECAUSE THEY CAN’T KEEP GOING MUCH LONGER. (OMG SEXUAL INNUENDO, Y/Y?)
IF THAT’S THE CASE ARTHUR THEN OHMYGOD, CALM DOWN WITH THE ORGIES ALREADY!
AND MERLIN IS STILL DEFENDING HIS GIRLFRIEND, BEING THE PLAYA THAT HE IS.
MERLIN ASKS MORGANA WHY THE KNIGHT DIDN’T KILL HER WHEN HE RAPED HER, AND MORGANA ANSWERS BECAUSE SHE’S A WOMAN A SEX GODDESS. MERLIN DOESN’T FIND IT AT ALL AMUSING (DESPITE MORGANA’S SARCASM) AND STARTS TALKING ABOUT DESTROYING THE SOURCE OF THE SEXING. MORGANA MORGAUSE.
THEY ARE STILL TALKING KINKY DIRTY THOUGHTS, OR THAT’S HOW MORGANA AND MERLIN TAKE THEM, WHEN ARTHUR SAYS TO BONDAGE HIS FATHER UP WITH STRIPS OF THE BLANKET. WOW ARTHUR, WAY TO GIVE MORGANA/MERLIN IDEAS.
ARTHUR DRAGS MERLIN AWAY FOR SOME SRS TALKING, BUT GETS DISTRACTED BY HIS FUCKING GOREGOUS FACE AND ARTHUR GETS A BLOW JOB UP AGAINST THE DOOR.
JUST LOOK AT HIS “OH YEA~” FACE!
MERLIN VERY MUCH ENJOYS IT WHEN ARTHUR RETURNS THE FAVOUR.
BECAUSE MERLIN IS A KINKY, KINKY MAN AND ARTHUR ENJOYS IT, MERLIN SLAPS HIS FACE ARSE.
ARTHUR ALSO GETS HIS WATERSPORTS-KINK ON
AS THEY HEAR THE SEX ORGY OF DOOOOOOOM APPROACH, THEY HAVE SOME RATHER SWEET LOVERS-TALK. FIRST ARTHUR MENTIONS MERLIN’S KNEE’S, BECAUSE HE OBVIOUSLY HAS A FASINATION WITH THEM (AND MERLIN WALKING GIVING BLOW JOBS ON THEM).
LOOK AT HOW HAPPY THE TALK MAKES HIM!
MERLIN CUDDLES ARTHUR’S PHALLIC WOOD.
ARTHUR KNOWS THAT GOING OUT INTO THE SEXSHOLAS ORGY OF DOOOOOOOOM WILL SURELY MEAN CERTAIN DEATH, BUT HE IS LAUGHING BECAUSE THEY ARE TALKING OF “NEXT LIVES” AND HOW THEIR LOVE WILL ALWAYS LIVE ON.
ALSO, THE LAST THING HE SEE’S BEFORE HE DIES WILL BE MERLIN’S LOVELY, SMILING FACE
FROM ALL THIS TALK OF NEXT LIVES AND HOW THEIR LOVE WILL LAST FOREVER AND THROUGH MANY REINCARNATIONS, MERLIN HAS REALISED WHO IS HIS ONE TRUE LOVE.
HE HAS MADE HIS DECISION.
\O/
HE DECIDES TO ENCHANT MORGANA INTO AN ENDLESS SLEEP, WHICH WILL NO DOUBT STOP THE SEXING PRESENCE AND THEREFORE END THE SPELL. IT WILL ALSO MAKE THINGS MUCH EASIER WHEN HE FINALLY BREAKS THE NEWS TO HER.
SO HE PUTS THE HEMLOT VIAGRA SLEEPING DRAFT INTO HIS WATER-SKIN.
HE OFFERS IT TO MORGANA, NOT LOOKING SHIFT OR SUSPICIOUS AT ALLLLLLLLLL
HOWEVER, MORGANA TRUSTS HIM IMPLICITLY, AND ACCEPTS IT WITH GRACE AND WITH THANKS.
AND SO SHE DRINKS FROM MERLIN’S FOUNTAIN OF LOVE WATER-SKIN.
SHE SOON REALISES THAT SOMETHING IS WRONG.
MERLIN KNOWS THAT SHE IS BEGINNING TO REALISE, BECAUSE THEIR LOVE MEANS THEY ARE CONNECTED LIKE THAT.
HE CRIES WOEFUL TEARS, BARELY MANAGES TO BRUSH THEM AWAY.
BUT HE MANAGES SOMEHOW, SO THAT HE CAN HAVE “THE TALK”, DESPITE HIS EVIDENT RELUCTANCE.
MERLIN TELLS MORGANA THAT HE IS LEAVING HER FOR ARTHUR - THAT THEY CAN NO LONGER BE TOGETHER AND LOVE EACH OTHER.
MORGANA IS DEVASTATED.
MERLIN TRIES TO COMFORT BUT MORGANA SLAPS HIM AWAY - SHE DOES NOT WANT HIS PITY.
MERLIN CONTINUES TO TRY TO HUG HER, TELLING HER HE IS SORRY.
MORGANA BREAKS DOWN AND RELENTS, CLINGING TO MERLIN AND HIS KINDNESS.
MERLIN IS DYING ON THE INSIDE.
MORGANA CLINGS TO HIM WITH THE HOPE THAT HER PASSING WILL BE PAINLESS, AND THAT SHE CAN FORGIVE MERLIN FOR THIS HEARTBREAK.
MERLIN IS NOT EVEN TRYING TO HIDE HIS PAIN NOW, DISGUSTED WITH HIMSELF FOR THIS.
MORGAUSE HEARS HER SISTER’S LOVER’S SUFFERING
AND BLASTS THROUGH THE DOOR TO COME TO THE AID OF HER ONE WEAKNESS.
SHE RUSHES OVER TO MORGANA, PUSHING MERLIN OUT OF THE WAY AND TAKING MORGANA FOR HERSELF.
MORGAUSE WANTS TO KNOW WHY SHE IS SLEEPING, AND MERLIN GOES SUPER FUCKING BADASS AT HER, SAYING HE HAD NO CHOICE AND HE KNOWS MORGANA IS HER WEAKNESS AND IF MORGAUSE WANTS HER THAN SHE WILL UNDO THE ENCHANTMENT.
PWOAR, BADASS MERLIN IS FUCKING SEXY!
MORGAUSE IS INSULTED AT MERLIN’S INSINUATION. NO ONE TELLS *HER* WHAT TO DO!
MERLIN COMES RIGHT BACK WITH “IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT POISON SLEEPING DRAFT IT IS, YOU WILL UNDO THE MAGIC THAT DRIVES THE KNIGHTS.
MORGAUSE IS ALL “I KEEL YOU!!!!!!!!”
BUT MERLIN’S NOT BUDGING, BECAUSE HE KNOWS MORGANA WILL DIE ALONGSIDE HIM AND HE CAN BE HAPPY IN THE NEXT LIFE, WITH BOTH HIS LOVERS
MORGAUSE CONCEEDS BECACUSE OF HER LOVE FOR MORGANA.
SHE UNDOES THE SEX-MAGIC THAT DRIVES THE SEXSHOLAS KNIGHTS, AND THEY FALL OVER, FLACCID AS YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE.
MERLIN, IN HOPING THAT MORGAUSE WILL BE ABLE TO SAVE MORGANA FROM ETERNAL SLEEP, HANDS OVER THE POTION TO A VERY GRATEFUL AND TEARY MORGAUSE.
HE EVEN STOPS ARTHUR FROM CHARGING IN AND SPEARING HER DEAD.
UTHER ALSO CHOSES THE RIGHT MOMENT TO WAKE UP GROANING AND MOANING FOR MOAR SEXING
LOL, UTHER’S HARDCORE!
MORGAUSE TORNADOES RIGHT THE FUCK OUT OF THERE WITH HER LOVER, SCREAMING AT EVERYONE TO KEEP THE FUCK AWAY FROM HER.
Ok, calming down for the moment. No no no, really, I have important non-squealing things to say that have nothing to do with my warped sense of reality. I was really torn up about this scene - Merlin poisoned Morgana (which I presume is the only way he could think of to try and save her while stopping Morgause). I really LOVE the hurt and the betrayal on Morgana’s face and the pain Merlin is evidently feeling at having to do this. Merlin knew he had no other choice, and he delayed it for as long as he could, but even then he couldn’t bring himself to use magic to ‘kill’ Morgana - he used poison (in what I KNOW is his attempt to save her and everybody. Which actually worked!) But seriously, when I first watched it (and even now) I can’t help thinking that surely Merlin couldn’t have at least done SOMETHING else? Anything? I kept expecting him to use Magic in every other scene when it was just Merlin and Morgana, since ITS OBVIOUS THE THING TO DO! Honestly, this boy is so stupid - had he just explained to Morgana what his intentions were (sort of, doing that lying-to-manipulate thing he does so frighteningly well), or even used his magic in front of her, then surely Morgana wouldn’t feel like she’s been betrayed by everyone? It’s how she’s going to become evil - that’s obviously where the show is going with this. Morgana will turn against Camelot and unite with Morgause and Mordred to bring about its ruin. And all because Merlin is a stupid fool who is too busy pulling a Gaius and NOT telling anyone anything, even when the whole fucking city is about to crumble. >:(
But then, if the hadn’t done this we wouldn’t have seen Dark!Merlin, I suppose. And Dark!Merlin is my favourite kind of Merlin 8D Merlin was choosing the lives of Arthur, his friends and those of the whole city over one person whom he cares for, but feels has already betrayed Camelot. It’s actually a really good way to go about it, if I’m completely honest, and I have to say I’m really impressed that Julian pulled it off so well.
(btw - I INTERVIEWED HIM. =DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD *will never shut up about that*)
Still, my heart breaks into a million pieces at what Merlin did. And I will not lie - I cried so hard, I think I broke my tear-ducts. Sadly, all I could hear was the sound of my ship exploding into a thousand, heartbroken pieces.
ANYWAY, BACK TO THE STORY.
EVERYONE IS IN MOURNING FOR THE LOSS OF MORGANA, ESPECIALLY UTHER. D:
ARTHUR IS ALSO DEVASTATED, AND BERATES HIMSELF FOR NOT PROTECTING MORGANA.
HE CANNOT EVEN BEAR TO BE PRAISED IN PROTECTING HIS FATHER, HE IS SO SAD. DD:
UTHER ISN’T HAVING ANY OF IT THOUGH; HE ACTUALLY WANTS TO BEAR THE FAULT OF THIS ALONE. ALTHOUGH THE WEIGHT OF HIS SORROW IS ALMOST TOO MUCH FOR HIM. DDD:
MERLIN IS ALSO UNABLE TO STAND THE HEARTBREAK - HE CANNOT EVEN EAT HE IS SO DISTRAUGHT. DDDDDD:
GAIUS’S EYEBROW HOWEVER, IS COMPLETELY INSENSITIVE AND ACTS LIKE A FUCKING DOUCHE.
HE SAID MERLIN DID THE RIGHT THING. :O WTFF, GAIUS! STFU!
HIS EYEBROW ALSO CONVENIENTLY LOOKS OVER THE FACT THAT HE NEVER GUIDED MORGANA’S MORAL USE OF MAGIC, UNLIKE HE DID WITH MERLIN.
BLOODY BASTARD!
MERLIN’S HEARTBREAK DOES NOT BELIEVE THIS BULLSHIT, SAYING THAT HE CARED ABOUT HER SO STFU GAIUS WITH YOUR STUPID NON-SYMPATHY.
HE CANNOT BEAR TO THINK OR TALK ABOUT IT ANY LONGER, AND TAKES HIS LEAVE.
HE IS OFF TO FREE THE SLASH DRAGON, LIKE HE PROMISED.
SLASH DRAGON TOLD HIM HE NEEDED ONE OF THE SEXSHOLAS KNIGHT’S SWORDS, BECAUSE THEY WERE CREATED WITH THE OLD RELIGION POWER OF GAY BUTTSEX, AND WITH THE COMBINED GAY OF MERLIN’S MAGIC AND LOVE FOR ARTHUR, THE SLASH DRAGON CAN BE FREEEEEEEEEED.
THE SLASH DRAGON IS EXCITED, HE CANNOT WAIT TO BE FREE TO RID THE KINGDOM OF HETERO SPREAD THE GAY RAINBOW LOVE.
MERLIN’S EARS ARE HAPPY FOR THE SLASH DRAGON AND HIS GAY HOLIDAY PARADE.
EITHER THE SLASH DRAGON USES STEALTH MAGIC, OR THESE STAIRS JUST APPEAR OUT OF NOWHERE, LEADING RIGHT TO THE DRAGON’S CHAIN. LOL.
IMMA GUESS IT WAS DRAGON MAGIC.
MERLIN WALKS DOWN THESE STAIRS OF RIDICULOUS HEIGHT LOOK RATHER TEENY. LOL.
EVENTUALLY HE ARRIVES AT THE BONDAGE CHAINS KEEPING SLASH DRAGON PRISONER.
THE GREAT SLASH DRAGON CAN PRACTICALLY SMELL HIS FREEDOM NOW!
BEFORE MERLIN USES HIS MAGIC TO FREE SLASH DRAGON, HE PLEADS WITH SLASHY TO LOOK OUT FOR HIS LOVERS AND KEEP THEM FROM HARM WITH HIS SUPAMAGICKSKILLZ.
THE DRAGON MAKES NO PROMISES THOUGH. \O/
WOW, SCARY DRAGON IS SCARY.
MERLIN BEGIN’S MAGIC’ING HIS SWORD PENIS
AND JIZZES HIS PANTS IN ONE SPECTACULAR SHOWER OF SPUNK
SLASH DOBBY IS FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
NEXT WEEK IS THE FINALE AND I DON’T EVEN THINK I WATCH IT BECAUSE I HAVE TO GO TO SOME STUPID FAMILY CHRISTMAS PARTY. DDD: BUT WHAT WILL I DO WITHOUT MY GAAAAAY?!!!!! *CRIES*
YES, I DO REALISE I AM THIS SAD KIND OF PERSON. I WOULD RATHER WATCH MERLIN THAT HAVE FAMILY CHRISTMAS PARTY, THERE IS INDEED SOMETHING WRONG WITH MY LIFE.
WHO CARES, I AM NOT GOING TO SURVIVE WITHOUT IT FOR THE NEXT EIGHT MONTHS ANYWAY. DDDDDD:
RIGHT, STARTING FROM THE BEGINNING - WE HAVE A LOLTASTIC CGI-NOT-CGI CASTLE RUIN, BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY WE COULD NEVER HAVE A CASTLE AS PRETTY AS CAMELOT.
OH HAIIIIIII, WALLACE MONUMENT. I C U STANDING THAR.
METHINKS THIS IS ALSO A RIP-OFF OF STIRLING CASTLE, BUT WITH A FEW ALTERATIONS. Y/Y?
AND OF COURSE, WE HAVE EVIL!MORGAUSE BEING EVIL AS SHE SAYS “UTHER~~~~~~ PENDRAGON~~~~~~~~~!” LOOOOOL MORGAUSE, HOW GOES THIS OBVIOUSLY, BLATANT EVIL? XDDD
SHE REAWAKENS THE CLEARLY EVIL RINGWRAITHS TWO POINT OH: THE IDIRSEXSHOLAS KNIGHT’S.
LMFAO @ THIS SHOW AND ITS DRAMATISATION. XDDD
MORGAUSE SMILES THE I-JUST-WON-BINGO-IN-KILLING-J00 SMILE.
AFTER CREDITS, WE HAVE UTHER LOUNGING IN HIS THRONE, MAKING THIS FUCKING FAAAAAAAAAAAACE.
LOLOLOLOL HE LOOKS SO SUPREMELY UNCONCERNED THAT CERTAIN TRAGEDY SHALL BEFALL THE EARTH. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I LOVE YOU, SO FUCKING MUCH UTHER. XDDD
LOL SO INSTEAD, GAIUS TAKES CHARGE OF HIS HUSBAND KING, LIKE A GOOD WIFE ADVISOR, AND WE LEARN THAT THESE KNIGHTS HAVE BEEN CHASTITY-ED FOR THE LAST THREE HUNDRED YEARS, AND NOW THAT THEY ARE FREE, THEY SHALL RIDE THE KING ONCE MORE - ENSURING ALL ORGIES WILL RIDE THE PENDRAGON’S FOREVERMORE.
EEEEEKKKKKKKKKK - UTHER WANTS ARTHUR TO TAKE A RIDE OUT THERE, SINCE HE REALISES THAT ARTHUR IS OBVIOUSLY SEXUALLY FRUSTRATED AND NEEDS SOME RELEASE. IF THE KNIGHTS REALLY HAVE REAWAKED, HIS SON SHOULD RETURN HOME IN BETTER SPIRITS. A;GLLJGLKJAKL UTHER, I LOVE HOW YOU SHIP ARTHUR/MERLIN JUST AS HARD AS US. 8DDD
ARTHUR SHOWS JUST HOW SEXUALLY FRUSTRATED HE IS, BY DISMISSING THIS CRAP IN THE COURT, SAYING HE DOES *NOT* NEED TO GET SOME VERY MUCH, WHILE LOOKING OVER POINTEDLY AT MERLIN. XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD LOL. MERLIN AND ARTHUR ARE CLEARLY SMUG ABOUT THEIR EXCUSE TO FUCK “QUEST” AWAY FROM THE CASTLE. THEY THINK THEY’VE FOOLED PEOPLE, OR SOMETHING. THEY MIGHT AS WELL HAVE BEEN DOING THIS:
IT’S SO CLEARLY OBVIOUS! XDDDDDDDDD
MERLIN IS WITH GAIUS, ALSO ACTING SURPREMELY UNCONCERNED ABOUT THIS SO-CALLED “STORY”. LOL HE COULD SOUND LIKE HE GIVES A SHIT ABOUT THIS SERIOUSNESS OF THIS SITUATION, CLEARLY HE IS JUST EXCITED TO BE ON THE ROAD AND GETTING SOME FROM ARTHUR. OH MERLIN, YOU DON’T EVEN TRY TO DISGUISE YOUR LOVE. ♥
HE DOES, HOWEVER, BECOME MUCH MORE INTERESTED ONCE GAIUS STARTS TALKING ABOUT SEDUCING AND SUCCUMBING TO POWER AND FORCES THAT RODE THE SORCERESS!!! I SWEAR TO GOD - IT’S IN THE SHOW. MY FUCKING GOD. AND MERLIN IS VERY, VERY INTRIGUED BY THIS LAND-DESTROYING SEX ORGY, HIS EARS ARE PERKING UP AND HE ASKS MORE ABOUT IT. TURNS OUT PEOPLE DIDN’T LIKE ALL THE DESTRUCTION FROM SO MANY NOBLEMAN’S OVERPOWERING SEXING (TOO MANY COMMONER DEATHS, I SUPPOSE, RAN OUT OF SEXSLAVES) SO IT WAS ONLY AFTER THE SORCERESS WAS KILLED THAT THE KNIGHTS FINALLY GREW STILL. OHMYFUCKINGGOD, I DID JUST QUOTE THE SHOW THERE, I DO NOT LIE. ;LAKGJA;LGKJALKGJ BLATANT SEX REFERENCES SAY WOOOOOOOOOT!!!
LMFAO AND GAIUS SAYS THAT “SOMETHING HAS AWOKEN THEM” AND MERLIN GETS ALL KNOWINGLY - ‘YEA, ARTHUR AND HIS HUGE PENIS EGO” XDDDDDD
AS THE GAY PARADE RIDES OUT TO MEET THIS DEATHLY ORGY, MORGANA AND HER BREASTS WALTZ INTO VIEW, SLIGHTLY PERPLEXED AS TO WHY THERE IS A NOTE ON HER WINDOW SILL.
OH KATIE, SO ARE YOU SO FUCKING FINE?
ANYWAY, CHECK OUT THIS FUCKING NOTE THAT SHE READS. I AM ACTUALLY IMPRESSED TO SEE THAT IT IS WRITTEN IN YE OLDE ENGLISH OR SOMETHING, SO DON’T SAY THE SHOW ISN’T SET IN MIDDLE EARTH THE MIDDLE AGES. OR THEREABOUTS.
GWEN ENTERS AND ASKS IF HER MISTRESS IF SHE NEEDS SOMETHING WARMER, BUT MORGANA DOESN’T WANT TO BE RE-DRESSED. NGL, MY FACE WAS LIKE THIS;
WHAT ARE YOU DOING, MORGANA? DENYING GWEN THE CHANCE TO PERV UNSHAMEDLY AT YOUR BEAUTIFUL NAKED BODY! D:< YOU CANNOT JUST DUMP HER ARSE BECAUSE MORGAUSE IS SUDDENLY BACK ON THE SCENE AND SENDING YOU LOVE LETTERS! GWEN HAS BEEN YOUR FAITHFUL LOVER UNTIL NOW ALWAYS! YOU CAN’T BE POLITELY DISTANCE. HER FEELINGS WILL BE HURT!
WHICH THEY CLEARLY ARE.
A;LKLGKJALKJ BUT ITS OK, BECAUSE THE SLASH GODS WISH TO GRACE US WITH SOME MORE CARING!ARTHUR WORRYING ABOUT HIS BOYFRIEND. MOAR EXPEDITION PERFECTION, I CANNOT EVEN.
HE’S LOOKING BACK AT MERLIN, BECAUSE HE CANNNOT BEAR TO LOOK AWAY FROM HIM.
MERLIN’S EARS ARE SLIGHTLY SCARED AND VERY NERVOUS BECAUSE HE DOESN’T THINK HIS PENIS CAN TAKE ANYMORE PUNISHMENT - ARTHUR’S BEEN BREAKING SOME HORSES’ BACK, IF THIS SMIRK IS ANYTHING TO GO BY.
OH BOYS, YOUR GHEI SEXING IS SO OBVIOUS!
BACK IN CAMELOT GAYELOT, MORGANA IS SNEAKING OUT TO HAVE SEXUAL RELATIONS WITH MORGAUSE. HO HO HO! I SEE YOUR LOOKS OF LONGING AND HAND TOUCHING THERE, MORGAUSE.
LOL MORGANA JUST OPENS HER LEGS AND LAYS IT ALL OUT ON THE TABLE. OBVIOUSLY SHE TRUSTS THIS WOMAN (ALBEIT WITH WHOM SHE HAS SUCH A FIREY CONNECTION), AND PRACTICALLY SIGNS AWAY HER LIFE HEART. OH MORGANA, YOU ARE TOO TRUSTING OF THESE EVIL GUYS!
THEY DO ODD THINGS IN THE DARK!
OHOHOHOH, AND DON’T FORGET THIS - MORGANA ACTUALLY MENTIONED THAT SHE HAD THE CHANCE TO BE UTHER’S ASSISSIN. \O/ OMFG I DON’T BELIEVE IT! WE HAVE A CONTINUITY REFERENCE! TO SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED LAST SEASON! :OOOOO I DON’T BELIEVE IT!!!!!
[INSERT GIF OF GAIUS’S “I DON’T BELIEVE IT” HERE XD] -
BUT BACK TO THE FEMMSLASH - MORGAUSE HIT MORGANA SO HARD THAT SHE WOKE UP THE NEXT DAY, IN HER NIGHTCLOTHES, BACK IN BED AND WITH NO RECOLLECTION OF HAVING GOT THERE. LOL!
GWEN COMES IN AND YAWNS ALL OVER THE PLACE, BECAUSE SHE WAS ALSO UP ALL NIGHT, WATCHING THAT MORGAUSE/MORGANA LOVIN’.
LOL ANGEL’S ACTING. I DO LOVE IT. *SQUISHES HER*
MORGANA MAKES UP FOR HER BEHAVIOUR YESTERDAY WITH MORNING SEX KIND WORDS.
NEXT IS UTHER, WHO IS BEING TENDED TO BY HIS WIFE. LOL THEY REALLY ARE THE OLDER VERSION OF MERLIN/ARTHUR.
LKDJFHAKFJD;; THE WAY GAIUS SAYS “YOU HAVE A ~FEVER~” LIKE HE’S TALKING TO A CHILD. LOLOL SO FUCKING MARRIED.
UTHER’S SEX FACE, NEERRRRRGGGGGG, NGL, I CAME.
LOL NURSE LEON. OH THE ROLE PLAY, I LOVE IT.
XDDD
BUT KLJKJGKGFDJTDK BACK TO THE GAY PARADE, ARRIVING AT ORGY PALACE. THEY ARE RIDING RATHER QUICK, DO YOU SEE????
AND ONCE INSIDE, MERLIN AND ARTHUR CANNOT HELP BUT ACT LIKE AN OLD MARRIED COUPLE.
FIRST, THEY MOVE ABOUT IN SYNC.
;ALKGJ;LJG
THEN THEY HAVE SOME GOOD NATURED “BANTER” (WHICH YOU TOTALLY KNOW IS A METAPHOR).
AND MERLIN HEARS A TREMBLING SOUND. LOL, MY MIND IMMEDIATELY SAID “FIC SEX”, WHEREAS ARTHUR SAID IT WAS MERLIN’S KNEE’S KNOCKING. HAHA, I LIKE HIS THOUGHTS BETTER, THEY’RE DIRTIER. OH ARTHUR, ALWAYS SO KEEN.
BACK TO CAMELOT GAYELOT, WHERE GWEN HAS GONE TO SEE GAIUS. SHE IS WORRIED FOR HER STAMINA, SHE CANNOT KEEP UP WITH MORGANA’S NEED. EVEN GAIUS SAYS HE MIGHT NEED SOME, BECAUSE HE CANNOT KEEP UP WITH UTHER EITHER.
A;LGKJAJ HE EVEN MAKES THIS FACE WHEN HE TRIES TO BEND OVER.
THEN COMMENTS HE NEEDS A LITTLE SOMETHING HIMSELF. LKAJGHA;KJG;AKJ!!!!!!!!!!!!! BUTTSEX SAYS WHUUUUUUUUT.
METHINKS THE NEWS OF THESE ALMIGHTY ORGY KNIGHTS HAS GOTTEN EVERYONE A LITTLE EXCITED. LOOOOOL.
BACK IN ORGY PALACE, ARTHUR IS STILL DISBELIEVING OF THIS FANTASTIC SEX, UNTIL MERLIN SHOWS HIM HOW. LOL LOOK AT HIS FUCKING LIPS, THEY’RE OH SO SMUG.
THE SEXSHOLAS KNIGHTS ARE WATCHING YOUR BUTTSEX, MERLIN AND ARTHUR.
AND THEY PULL OUT THEIR PHALLIC SWORDS TO JOIN IN!
ARTHUR NOW UNDERSTANDS WHY THIS IS SUCH A BIG DEAL - HE CANNOT TAKE SUCH A BIG SWORD PENIS.
LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO @ HIS FAAAAAAAAACE.
BRADLEY JAMES, YOUR FACES, I SWEAR TO GOD. BEST THING IN THE SHOW.
THE GAYELOT KNIGHTS QUICKLY FALL UNDER THE MIGHT OF THE SEXSHOLAS KNIGHTS, ALTHOUGH ARTHUR MANAGES TO HOLD HIS OWN. CLEARLY ALL THAT SEX WITH MERLIN HAS PREPARED HIM WELL!
HE EVEN MANAGES TO STICK HIS SWORD PENIS INTO ONE OF THE KNIGHTS, AND IS ALL ARROGANT LIKE, THINKING HE IS NOW DOMINATRIX.
SO HE IS SLIGHTLY CONFUSED, WHEN THE RINGWRAITH SEXSHOLAS KNIGHT PRACTICALLY LULZ IN HIS FACE.
ALTHOUGH HE GETS A RIGHT SHOCK WHEN HE SEE’S THIS GIANT DICK COMING TOWARD HIM!
LMFAO, ARTHUR’S FAAAAAAAACE, HE LOOKS MORE THAN A LITTLE FREAKED OUT THAT THE LARGE, UNIDENTIFIED PENIS IS TRYING TO POKE HIM. LOLOLOLOL!!!
MERLIN GETS ATTACKED BY THE SEXSHOLAS KNIGHTS, BUT ARTHUR COMES TO THE RESCUE!!!!!!!!!!!! ARTHUR IS ALL “GET YOUR FILTHY SLUTTY HANDS OFF MY BOYFRIEND, NO ONE CAN TOUCH HIM BUT ME!”
SUCK ON THAT BITCH!
JEALOUS!ARTHUR IS PROTECTIVE AND BITCHY. I LOVE IT!
MERLIN HELPS REPAY THE SAVING-FAVOUR BY RECOVING ARTHUR’S PENIS WHEN IT GETS STUCK IN ONE OF THE KNIGHTS.
LOL ATTACK OF TOO MANY SWORDS PENIS’S.
MERLIN’S SWORD PENIS TO THE RESCUE!
ARTHUR YELLS AT MERLIN TO RUN! RUUUUUUUUN, MERLIN, RUUUUUUUUUN~!
\O/ THE URGENCY IN HIS VOICE, HOMYFUCKINGGOD, THE LOVE. HE IS SO SCARED FOR HIS BOYFRIEND, AND YET!!! MERLIN DOES NOT WANT TO LEAVE WITHOUT ARTHUR, EVEN SHOUTING “NO I WON’T LEAVE WITHOUT YOU!” HE DOESN’T EVEN LEAVE WHEN ARTHUR PUSHES HIM TOWARD THE DOOR AND SCREAMS “WILL YOU DO AS I SAY”. INSTEAD HE JUST WATCHES FROM THE DOORWAY. \OOOOOO/ SO MUCH LOVE, ONE BODY CANNOT CONTAIN IT. NEERRGGGGGKJAL;GJA;LJ
MERLIN HOWEVER, COMES UP WITH A BRILLIANT IDEA TO SAVE THEM FROM THE SEXSHOLAS RINGWRAITHS KNIGHTS. HE PERFORMS SOME “MAGIC” (AKA, SEX)
WITH ARTHUR
ZOMG THEIR BUTTSEX FAAAAACES. THEIR EXPRESSIONS SAY IT ALL, WORDS NOT EVEN NECESSARY.
BUT THE CHANGE IN POWER DYNAMICS DOES THE TRICK, THE SEXSHOLAS KNIGHTS ARE BLOWN AWAY BY THE HOTNESS OF DOMINATING!MERLIN AND OUR BOYS MANAGE TO ESCAPE WITH THEIR PENIS’S STILL INTACT.
ZOMFG, THIS CHANGE IN POWER DYNAMICS HAS CLEARLY AFFECTED ARTHUR. WHEN THEY RUN DOWN INTO A CLEARING, HE NOTICES THAT POOR BB MERLIN HAS HURT HIS POOR BB ARM, AND WANTS TO MAKE IT ALL BETTER.
BUT MERLIN HAS MAN’D UP, AND HE DOESN’T FEEL THE PAIN. HE DIDN’T EVEN KNOW IT WAS THERE.
NONETHELESS, ARTHUR INSISTS ON BANDAGING MERLIN’S WOUND, WITH THE CLOTH THAT CAME FROM HIS OWN SURCOAT, IN AN ATTEMPT AT ROMANCE.
AND FUCK ME DEAD, I SWEAR TO GOD I DIED A HUNDRED TIMES OVER DURING THIS FIVE SECONDS, BECAUSE I DON’T THINK THEY COULD HAVE DONE ANYTHING GAYER. SERIOUSLY, THESE WRITERS MUST KNOW THAT USING PARTS OF YOUR CLOTHING/HANDKERCHIEF’S/NECKERCHIEF’S AS A BANDAGE IS LIKE, THE BRIGHTEST BEACON TO SHOW THAT THOSE TWO PEOPLE LOVE EACH OTHER MORE THAN LIFE. IT IS USED IN EVERY SINGLE ANIME TO EVER EXIST, AND I *KNOW* IT’S BEEN IN PLENTY OF WESTERN MOVIES/SHOWS. JUST HOLY FUCKING SHIT, CAN YOU ASK FOR A ANYMORE CANON SHIP?
THEY RIDE BACK TO GAYELOT, WHERE EVERYONE HAS PASSED OUT FROM TOO MUCH SEXING. LOL MERLIN AND ARTHUR DON’T EVEN KNOW, OH BOYS. YOU’RE NOT THE ONLY ONE GETTING LUCKY, YOU KNOW!
IN THE COURTYARD, A PLOT CONVENIENT HORSE CONVENIENT PLODS INTO THE PLOT. BUT! THIS IS IMPORTANT BECAUSE WE SEE THAT SOMEONE IN THE MERLIN CREW FAIL AT DOING THEIR JOB.
AKA, MAKING SURE EACH SHOT IS CLEAN. XDDDDDDD
MERLIN RUNS UP THE STAIRS TO FIND GAIUS, SURELY HE CAN EXPLAIN THIS.
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNF, HOW CAN HE LOOKS SO FINE BY JUST RUNNING?!?! *DOES NOT UNDERSTAND*!!
MERLIN YELLS AND JUST FROM HIS TONE ARTHUR CAN TELL SOMETHING IS WRONG. AND OF COURSE, ARTHUR RUNS AS FAST AS HE CAN TO MERLIN’S SIDE.
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
THEY MISTAKE EVERYONE’S SEX EXHAUSTION FOR A MAGIC-SICKNESS. LOL SHOW, TRYING TO BE NAIVE. NOT FOOLING ANYONE.
ARTHUR WANTS TO FIND HIS FATHER, BECAUSE SURELY HE WOULDN’T BE ASLEEP OVERSEXED. THEY MANAGE TO FIND GAIUS (“ASLEEP”) AND THEY FIND GWEN SLEEPING ON THE FLOOR - LOL MORGANA CLEARLY KICKED HER OUT OF BED TO FUCK HER ON THE FLOOR. (LOL @ ARTHUR PULLING THE HAIR OUT OF HER FACE, GAY AS A WINDOW, FOR SRS).
THEY SEE SOME CURTAINS RUSSLING, WHICH IS STRANGE BECAUSE SUDDENLY OUR MAIN CHARACTERS AREN’T DEAF, BLIND AND DUMB. AND LOOK WHO THEY PULL OUT FROM THESE CURTAINS!
MORGANA! AND GAAAAAAAAAAAH DID YOU HEAR THAT WAY ARTHUR SPOKE TO HER? FUCKING CHRIST, IT WAS HOT LIKE WHOA. CLEARLY HE IS TRYING TO CALM HER AFTER THAT RAPE-ATTACK-FACE SCARE. OH ARTHUR ♥
MORGANA “DIDN’T KNOW IT WAS ARTHUR”, BECAUSE OF COURSE SHE WOULD HAVE BEEN GLAD TO HAVE SEX WITH SEE ARTHUR. UNF, SHE LOOKS SO GORGEOUS, TELLING ARTHUR WHAT HAPPENED AT COURT. JUST LOOOOOOOOOK. LOOK AT HER!
CHECK OUT THAT EYELINER SHE HAS ON!! \O/ OH I SEE WHAT YOU DID THAR, MAKE-UP DEPARTMENT. THE EXTENT TO WHICH MORGANA IS BECOMING EVIL WOULD ONLY REFLECT IN HOW MUCH EYELINER SHE HAS ON. I MEAN, LOOK AT MORGAUSE. LOL!
ARTHUR STILL INSISTS HIS FATHER MUST BE CELIBATE BUT MORGANA PRETENDS TO KNOW NOTHING (LOL, HER EXPRESSION IS CLEARLY HIDING SOMETHING. I BET SHE’S EMBARRASSED THAT SHE’S THE ONE THAT CAUSED UTHER TO PASS OUT FROM TOO MUCH ENTHUSIASTIC SEX. [AFTER GAIUS WAS FINISHED, I MEAN] XDDD)
MERLIN’S EARS COME TO HIS SIDE-LOVER’S DEFENCE, SAYING THAT MORGANA IS CLEARLY DISTRESSED. OH HEART, IT SAILS ON THE HOTNESS OF THIS SHIP!
ARTHUR ISN’T HAVING ANY OF IT THOUGH, BECAUSE HE SUSPECTS MORGANA KNOWS SOMETHING. LOL, SO CLUELESS ABOUT THE SEXING-ON’S IN THE COURT, TOO BUSY SHAGGING MERLIN. XDDDDD
BUT! \O/ ARTHUR SHOWS SOME INTELLIGENCE - HE IS PERPLEXED AS TO WHY MORGANA IS THE ONLY ONE STILL AWAKE. :OOOOOOOOOOOOO HOLY SHIT, ARTHUR USING THIS THINKING THING. I NEVER THOUGHT I’D SEE THE DAY.
BACK AT ORGY PALACE, THE SEXSHOLAS KNIGHTS ARE A-RIDING. THEY HAVE LEFT THE PALACE IN SEARCH OF SOME NEW PEOPLE TO SEX UP, SINCE NONE REMAIN THERE.
LOL CHECK OUT THIS TOTALLY BLATANT STOLEN-FROM-LOTR-RINGWRAITH’S SHOT. XDDD OH SHOW!
BACK IN THE CASTLE, MERLIN AND MORGANA ARE EYESEXING UP OVER THEIR MUTAL MAGIC SKILLZ - MERLIN OBVIOUSLY WANTS MORGANA IN BED, BUT IS BEING COCKBLOCKED BY ARTHUR’S INSISTENT YELLING ABOUT HIS FATHER.
MERLIN IS INCENSED AT HAVING BEEN COCKBLOCKED, PUTTING AS MUCH ARTHUR!SASS AS HE CAN INTO HIS “SEE, [THE KING’S] ALRIGHT”.
ARTHUR HOWEVER, ISN’T KEEN ON SHARING MERLIN, AND DECIDES TO MAKE A POINT. HE MUSHES UTHER’S FACE IN HIS ANGER TO CONVEY THAT IT IS NOT ALRIGHT!
LOL SLEEPING UTHER FTW.
MERLIN HAS A WEIRD KINK FOR UTHER, ESPECIALLY SLEEPING UTHER, AND HE IS TOTALLY CHECKING HIM OUT AS HE SNOOZES ON THE DESK, BENT OVER ALL INVITING LIKE.
PWAOR MERLIN, KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS.
ARTHUR DOES NOT HAVE TIME TO DEAL WITH MERLIN’S HORNINESS, SO HE JUMPS STRAIGHT BACK TO MORGANA - AND WHY SHE IS STILL AWAKE. HE IS NOT HAPPY THAT SHE IS PRETENDING TO KNOW NOTHING.
MERLIN HOWEVER, JUMPS IN TO SAVE HIS SIDE-LOVER FROM ARTHUR’S SEXUAL FRUSTRATION, CAUSING HIS EARS TO LIE AS HE LOOKS DOTINGLY AT HER.
LOL ARTHUR IS JEALOUS OF MERLIN’S ATTENTION TOWARD MORGANA, AND SULKS THAT SHE SHOULD HAVE JUST SAID SHE GOT THE STAMINA POTION FROM GAIUS, INSTEAD OF ACTING SO SHY AND SHIFTY, GOD!
MORGANA’S EYELINER IS SUITABLY SHOCKED AND GRATEFUL FOR MERLIN’S DEFENCE.
HER EYELINER EVEN SASSES AT ARTHUR AND HIS OVERACTING JEALOUSY! THIS IS THE FACE OF SOMEONE WHO IS DEFINITELY GOING TO BE INVOLVED IN A HOT, ROUGH THREESOME LATER. OH YES.
CAN YOU NOT SEE THE EYESEXING UST?!!!???!?!??!?!?!!!!!!!!
ARTHUR IS INTRIGUED BY THE POWER OF THIS STAMINA POTION, AND SENDS MERLIN OFF TO FIND IT.
HE GIVES MORGANA AN EYESEX WARNING TO STAY WITH UTHER AND PROTECT HIS CHASTITY (LOL YOU’RE ASKING THE WRONG PERSON ARTHUR!) WHILE HE GOES OFF TO THE LOWER TOWN TO SEE IF HE CAN FIND SOME MORE PLAYERS FOR THIS UPCOMING ORGY-OFF.
HE EVEN GIVES MORGANA THE PHALLIC SEX SYMBOL OF THE SHOW - HOW VERY APPROPRIATE! XDDDD
LOL MORGAUSE IS ON HER HORSE, THAT HAS APPROPRIATELY STYLED HAIR, DON’T YOU THINK??
XDDDDDD OH SHOW, YOUR RIDICULOUSNESS NEVER CEASES TO AMAZE ME.
THE SEXSHOLAS KNIGHTS SIT BEFORE HER ON THEIR HORSES, BUT DISMOUNT IN UNISON (*LOL*) AND KNEEL BEFORE THEIR MASTER.
MORGAUSE IS LOOKING EXCEPTIONALLY PLEASED AT HER ELEVATED STATUS OF “SEX GODDESS”,
WOULDN’T YOU AGREE?
CUT BACK TO MERLIN, IN GAUIS’S CHAMBERS, CONVINCED THAT HE WILL MAGIC HIM AWAKE AND THUS GIVE THEM MORE NUMBERS IN THE ORGY-DEPARTMENT. SINCE IT’S ONLY RIGHT TO HAVE UTHER-GAIUS THERE, TO BLIND MORGAUSE WITH THEIR LOVIN’.
LOL MERLIN SAYS “GAIUS, THIS IS GOING TO WAKE SEX YOU UP” AND PROCEEDS TO MAGICAL-GIRL-STYLE MAGIC GAIUS AWAKE.
GAIUS’S MOJO IS BACK IN BUSINESS, HE JUMPS UP ALL GRINNING AND READY TO GO:
MERLIN IS QUITE CHUFFED AT HIS AWESOMESAUCE:
LOOOOOL, HIS FUCKING FAAAAAAAAAACE.
HOWEVER, GAIUS KEEPS UP THE HAPPY-SEX FACE LOOK, AND MERLIN IS QUITE DUBIOUS THAT GAIUS COULD ACTUALLY LAST THAT LONG IN ONE POSITION.
SO HE DOES SOME SEXING MAGIC, JUST TO SEE, AND CAUSES GAIUS TO BLOW HIS LOAD.
YEP, THAT CHAIR LEG TOTALLY SYMBOLISES PENIS EXPLOSION. IT WAS A METAPHOR!
SO GAIUS CAME AND FELL BACKWARD ONTO THE FLOOR WITH THE FORCE.
MERLIN IS NOTICABLY IMPRESSED.
HOWEVER, HE DOESN’T HAVE TIME TO WAIT AROUND WHILE GAIUS RECOVERS. MERLIN NEEDS SEX ADVICE NOW, DAMMIT!
SO HE TRIES WATERSPORTS OUT ON GAIUS, SINCE THAT WORKED SO WELL WITH HIM AND ARTHUR IN EPISODE 2X04.
XDDDDDDD *WILL NOT MAKE PENIS EXPLOSION METAPHOR*
MERLIN’S OUTTA TIME THOUGH, BECAUSE ARTHUR APPEARS AT HIS DOOR TO TELL HIM TO COME QUICKLY. \O/ INSISTENT ARTHUR, HOW BAD HE WANTS IT.
LOL AND HOW QUICKLY MERLIN RUNS TO HIS BOYFRIEND. XDD
TO MAKE A POINT AT THE SEXSHOLAS ORGY KNIGHTS THAT ARE BEARING DOWN ON GAYELOT:
MERLIN AND ARTHUR HAD SEX ATOP THE TOWER.
JUST LISTEN TO THEIR PANTING! GEEZ BOYS, SAVE SOME FOR THE ORGY LATER!
THE SEXSHOLAS KNIGHTS ARE ENTERING THE CASTLE, HUNTING DOWN THE SO-CALLED UNRIDABLE PENDRAGONS.
BECAUSE THEIR GREATEST SEX ASSET IS STILL PASSED OUT, MERLIN AND ARTHUR DECIDE TO MOVE HIM ELSEWHERE, SO HE CAN RECOVER PEACEFULLY AND BE REFRESHED IN TIME FOR THE SEX-OFF.
MERLIN HOWEVER, IS ASTONISHED THAT UTHER WANTS TO KEEP GOING, EVEN IN HIS SLEEP.
LOL I SEE YOU EYEING OFF HIS PENIS THAR. IS IT TOO DISTRACTING AND CAUSING AROUSAL IN YOUR OWN PENIS, MERLIN?
SO MORGANA GIVES MERLIN A HAND IN PULLING HIS LEGS ALONG. LOL, DIRTY THOUGHTS ARE DIRTY.
MERLIN IS AMUSED BY THIS POWER PLAY THAT HE SUDDENLY HAS OVER UTHER. UTHER HAS NEVER LET MERLIN HAVE HIS WAY WITH HIM QUITE LIKE THIS BEFORE.
MERLIN STILL FINDS IT AMUSING, EVEN AFTER ARTHUR BERATES HIM FOR THINKING IMPURE THOUGHTS. BUT THEN HE ASKS ABOUT THE STAMINA POTION, AND MERLIN AND MORGANA SHARE A SEX SECRET WITH THEIR EYESEX.
ONE WHICH THEY CANNOT SHARE WITH ARTHUR, OF COURSE. FOR IT INVOLVES NAKED UTHER, SOME CLOTH AND A WHOOOOOOLE LOT OF OIL.
MERLIN IS NOW BEGINNING TO UNDERSTAND HOW EVERYONE GOT TO BE SO SEXUALLY EXHAUSTED, AND JUST DUMPS UTHER AFTER HAVING HIS WAY WITH HIM. ARTHUR DISAPPROVES, SAYING THE SLEEPING PRINCESS NEEDS A COMFY BED.
LOL AT HIS FACE AND THE WAY HE SAYS “MERLIN!” (IT’S HIS SPECIAL WAY OF SHOWING AFFECTION, AWWWWW~)
AHAHAHA, SO MERLIN GETS THE KING TWO PILLOWS AND ARTHUR GIVES UP ON TRYING TO ARGUE WITH HIS WIFE. BECAUSE HE WILL NEVER WIN. LOL AND HE JUST THROWS HIS FATHER’S ARMS DOWN IN EXASPERATION. XDDDDDDDD WHY SUCH AN OLD MARRIED COUPLE, ARTHUR AND MERLIN?
ALL THIS TALK OF SEXING AND PULLING LEGS HAS GIVEN THESE TWO BOYS IDEAS. JUST LOOK AT THE WAY THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER, ALL HOT AND SWEATY AND READY TO GO.
MERLIN ASKS IN HIS LOW, HUSKY, SEXY VOICE IF ARTHUR IS ALRIGHT. ARTHUR WONDERS ALOUD IF MERLIN IS FEELING THE SAME WAY.
HE IS.
MERLIN SAYS “THEY’RE GETTING SICK HORNY” AND LOOKS OVER AT MORGANA, VEEEEEEERY SUGGESTIVE LIKE. ARTHUR HOWEVER, CONTINUES TO BE PRACTICAL AND TRIES TO QUELL THE INVITING IDEA OF A THREESOME, SINCE THAT’S EXACTLY HOW EVERYONE ELSE ENDED UP PASSED OUT.
MERLIN IS SO DEVASTATED. LOL
BUT MERLIN STILL WANTS TO PLAY, SO HE SUGGESTS DRESSING UTHER UP. AS A WOMAN.
ARTHUR HOWEVER, IS NOT SO SURE HE WANTS TO SEE HIS FATHER IN MERLIN’S FAVOURITE KINK.
HE DOES HOWEVER, GET AWFULLY EXCITED WHEN MERLIN MENTIONS DRESSING UTHER UP AS A SERVANT.
I THINK HE GOT A LITTLE CONFUSED, AND THOUGHT MERLIN WOULD BE DRESSING HIM UP, IF THIS POINTEDLY STARING AT HIS RAGING HARD-ON IS ANYTHING TO GO BY.
MERLIN IS ALSO LOOKING AT ARTHUR’S GLOVED HAND WITH UNDISGUISED LONGING. OBVIOUSLY HE WANTS SEX NOW WITH THOSE GLOVED FINGERS, WHICH IS DISTRACTING HIM FROM DOING HIS JOB.
ONCE MERLIN IS AWAY HOWEVER, ARTHUR MAKES HIS MOVE ON MORGANA, COMING UP TO HER WITH THE MOST SEDUCTIVE FACE.
HE EVEN PULLS OUT HIS SWORD PENIS AND LAYS IT ALL OUT FOR HER. OMFGOD ARTHUR, YOU LITTLE SLUT.
MERLIN, MEANWHILE, RUNS INTO A SEXSHOLAS KNIGHT AND SO FINDS IT QUITE BEFITTING TO HIDE IN A CLOSET. LOL, THIS SHOW AND IT’S METAPHOR’S!!! XDD
ONCE THAT’S OVER AND MERLIN MANAGES TO ESCAPE, HE GOES TO SEE THE SLASH DRAGON!! YEEPEEE!!!!!!
WHO IS SLEEPING. LOOOOOOL. TOO MUCH SEXING, EVEN FOR YOU, SLASH DRAGON? XDD
BUT NO, SLASH DRAGON IS NOT, IN FACT, SEXUALLY EXHAUSTED. HE WAS JUST TAKING A NAP, AND DID NOT APPRECIATE BEING WOKEN BY A SEXUALLY FRUSTRATED BOY, WHO IS ASKING FOR SEX ADVICE.
HE DOES FIND IT EXTREMELY FUNNY HOWEVER, THAT MERLIN THINKS HE’S INADEQUATE AND CANNOT FULFILL HIS GREAT BIG GAY DESTINY.
OH DRAGON, WHY SO AWESOME?
SLASH DRAGON WANTS TO BE FREE TO SPREAD THE GAY LOVIN’, AND DOESN’T TRUST MERLIN’S PROMISES OF A HOMOPHOBIC-FREE WORLD. SO MERLIN DOES SOME QUICK THINKING AND SWEARS TO FREE THE DRAGON - ON HIS MOTHER’S LIFE. \O/
THE DRAGON LOOKS RATHER PREDATORILY, DON’T YOU THINK? :O
HE DOES ALLOW BELIEVE MERLIN’S PROMISE THOUGH, AND EXPLAINS THE ENCHANTMENT TO HIM. THAT SO MUCH SEXUAL ENERGY CANNOT BE MAINTAINED WITHOUT A CONSTANT, SEXING PRESENCE. AND THE VESSEL JUST SO HAPPENS TO BE THES LADY MORGANA. \O/
MERLIN IS VERY UPSET TO HEAR THAT MORGANA HAS BEEN THE ONE SEXING UP HALF THE COURT. OH HOW HE THOUGHT THEIR LOVE WAS UNIQUE! THEY HAD MAGICAL SEX FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!
MERLIN’S EARS ARE RILED AND WANT TO STOP HER FROM CHEATING ON HIM. BUT THE SLASH DRAGON DOES NOT APPROVE OF THIS HETERO LOVIN’, AND SAYS SHE WON’T STOP UNTIL SHE IS DEAD. SO MERLIN MUST KILL BREAK UP WITH HER.
\O/ WHAT THE FLYING FUCK, DRAGON?! HATERS TO THE LEFT, MAN!!
MERLIN CRIES AT THE THOUGHT OF HAVING TO BREAK OFF WITH HIS SIDE-LOVER. DDDDDDDD:
BUT THE DRAGON INSISTS - MERLIN MUST NOW CHOSE BETWEEN HIS TWO GREAT LOVES. TO EITHER LEAVE MORGANA AND SAVE GAYELOT, OR ALLOW MORGANA TO KEEP HETERO-ING AND ARTHUR WILL DIE FROM HEARTACHE AND THEIR GREAT BIG GAY DESTINY WILL DIE WITH HIM.
\O/ OH HEART, THE TRAGIC ROMANCE!
MERLIN RUSHES BACK TO GAIUS’S CHAMBER, TO GET SOME OF GAIUS’S CLOTHES FOR THE KING TO WEAR. FALLLLAAAALLLLLLAAAAGIHA;LGJ MERLIN KNOWS WHO YOUR ONE TRUE LOVE IS UTHER, YOU SHOULD JUST ANNOUNCE IT ALREADY!
WHILE THERE, HE NOTICES THE VIAGRA HEMLOT POISON SLEEPING DRAFT, AND GRABS IT IN CASE HE NEEDS IT WITH MORGANA, FOR A TRULY ROMEO AND JULIET STYLE LOVE TRAGEDY.
ON HIS WAY BACK, ARTHUR GRABS MERLIN AND PULLS HIM ASIDE FOR A QUICKIE IN THE CORRIDOR, BECAUSE HE JUST CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE.
NNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGFFFFFFF THE BLATANT WANT!
THEY ARE INTERRUPTED BY MORGAUSE, AND ARTHUR LOOKS LIKE HE WANTS TO BREAK. HER. FACE.
MERLIN, THE GOOD WIFE, PREVENTS ARTHUR FROM DOING SOMETHING STUPID AND THEY RUSH BACK TO MORGANA.
MERLIN CANNOT KEEP THE BETRAYED LOOK FROM HIS FACE WHEN HE SEES HER AND THINKS ABOUT ALL THE AFFAIRS SHE HAD. \O/
MORGANA HOWEVER, EXPRESSES HER CONCERN AND LOVE FOR MERLIN, UNAWARE THAT MERLIN KNOWS OF HER ADULTERY (NOT THAT SHE THINKS MERLIN SHOULD CARE, THE BIG HYPOCRITE!)
ARTHUR COMES IN TO MOVE HIS FATHER SOMEWHERE THAT MORGAUSE CAN NEVER LAY HER SLUTTY FINGERS ON HIM. ARTHUR DOES NOT WANT THE THOUGHT OF HIS PREVIOUS SEXUAL INTEREST AND HIS FATHER EVER GETTING IT ON IN BED.
MERLIN IS HURTING WHEN MORGANA IS NOT SURPRISED AT THIS NEWS. HIS SUSPICIONS THAT MORGANA IS SLEEPING WITH EVERYONE ARE GROWING, AND MORGANA ISN’T DOING A GOOD JOB AT HIDING IT.
MY MERLIN’S HEART IS BREAKING INTO A THOUSAND PIECES. DDD:
MERLIN IS SLIGHTLY CONSOLED BY ARTHUR AND HIS ‘STAMINA POTION’ EXCUSE. BUT IT DOES NOT MAKE MERLIN FEEL ANY LESS DECEIVED.
BUT ARTHUR NEEDS HIM SO HE COMES TO HIS AID - MENTIONING THE PLOT CONVENIENT HORSE+CART THAT THEY SAW EARLIER, AND HOW THEY COULD USE THAT TO ESCAPE.
ARTHUR IS VERY IMPRESSED WITH HIS BOYFRIENDS EXPLOSION OF GOOD IDEAS. HE EVEN PRAISES MERLIN AND AWARDS HIM WITH GLOVE!PORN.
MERLIN IS HAPPY COOKIE.
HOWEVER, HE HAD BEEN HOPING FOR SOME ALONE-TIME TO HAVE “THE TALK” WITH MORGANA - PERHAPS TALK OUT THEIR ISSUES AND HOPEFULLY RESOLVE THIS IN A WAY THAT EVERYONE WINS. UNFORTUNATELY, ARTHUR TELLS MERLIN TO GO LOOK FOR THE CART, SO HE RUNS OUT INTO THE HALLWAY.
A SEXSHOLAS KNIGHT IS LURKING ABOUT THOUGH, AND MERLIN GETS THE SHIT SCARED OUT OF HIM WHEN ONE SHOWS UP BEHIND HIM! DUN DUUUN DUUUUUUUUN!
MERLIN IS QUICK-THINKING AND USES HIS FLEXIBLITY TO FLEX OUT OF THE WAY OF THE POKING PENIS.
THEN HE MAGIC’S THE FUCK RIGHT OUT OF THE SEXSHOLAS, WITH THIS MOTHERFUCKING SCARY-AS-HELL-ANGER!FACE
HE RUNS BACK TO HIS BOYFRIEND AND GIRLFRIEND, SAYING THAT THE SEXSHOLAS ORGY IS ALMOST UPON THEM, AND THEY WON’T MAKE IT OUT WITH THEIR CLOTHES OR PENISES IF THEY TRY THIS ESCAPE. ARTHUR IS STILL CONVINCED OTHERWISE - BECAUSE UTHER IS STRUNG UP IN A SLING. LOL HE’S SO PROUD OF HIS CREATION, MISSING THE SEXUAL CONNOTATIONS COMPLETELY.
HE HEARS SOME HEAVY BREATHING/MOANING AND DECIDES TO LURK ABOUT TO INVESTIGATE.
TURNS OUT SEXSHOLAS KNIGHT IS CLOSING IN, AND ARTHUR ORDERS THAT THEY HIDE BEHIND THE SCREENS, BECAUSE THAT’S NOT RIDICULOUS AT ALL
IT MEANS HE CAN GIVE THE SEXSHOLAS KNIGHT THE IMPRESSION THAT THEY ARE GETTING NAKED, EFFECTIVELY FOOLING IT FOR A FEW SECONDS, SO HE CAN GAIN THE UPPER HAND.
WITH HIS SWORD PENIS.
PENIS ATTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK~!
ARTHUR YELLS AT MERLIN TO PROTECT MORGANA AND THE KING WHILE HE FIGHTS OFF THE SEXSHOLAS SWORD-PENIS. THEY RUN OFF TO HAVE THEIR MERRY WAY WITH UTHER, WHO IS STILL STRUNG UP.
UNFORTUNATELY, AS THEY ARE JUST GETTING TO THE GOOD BIT, THEY ARE INTERRUPTED IN A VERY NASTY WAY.
MORGANA FALTERS, YELLING FOR MERLIN TO SAVE HER FROM THE FUG
MERLIN HAS SOME IMPORTANT DECISIONS TO MAKE QUICKLY - SAVE MORGANA OR SAVE BGD (BIG GAY DESTINY)?
DESPITE THE HEARTACHE, HE DECIDES TO SAVE HIS BGD, LEAVING MORGANA TO THE SEXSHOLAS AND SCREAMING RAAAAPE!
MORGANA’S LIFE IS THANKFULLY SPARED, BECAUSE THE SEXSHOLAS LIKED MORGANA’S SEXING.
MERLIN IS EVEN MORE UPSET AT THIS DISPLAY OF SEXUAL PROMISCUITY
HE RUNS OFF IN TEARS, ONLY TO BE STALKED BY ONE EVIL SEXSHOLAS KNIGHT OF EVILNESS.
JUST WHEN HE IS ABOUT TO MAGIC THAT FUCKER’S BALLS RIGHT OFF, ARTHUR COMES TO THE RESCUE, WITH SURPRISE BUTTSEX!
WHICH LEADS TO THE SEXSHOLAS KNIGHT TUMBLING INTO THE DARK VAGINA ABYSS
WOOT! YAY ARTHUR AND THE SAVIOUR OF SURPRISE!BUTTSEX!
DANGER NOW AVERTED, MERLIN GRABS UTHER AND ARTHUR GRABS MORGANA AND THEY RUSH INTO THE HALL OF ALL USES FOR SOME ORGY SEXING TIMES.
THEY EVEN HAVE WOOD OF PHALLIC PROPORTIONS AND SLOT IT INTO A HOLE. LOL
ARTHUR TRIES TO GET MORGANA TO REMEMBER WHAT WAS IN THE VIAGRA STAMINA POTION GAIUS GAVE HER, BECAUSE THEY CAN’T KEEP GOING MUCH LONGER. (OMG SEXUAL INNUENDO, Y/Y?)
IF THAT’S THE CASE ARTHUR THEN OHMYGOD, CALM DOWN WITH THE ORGIES ALREADY!
AND MERLIN IS STILL DEFENDING HIS GIRLFRIEND, BEING THE PLAYA THAT HE IS.
MERLIN ASKS MORGANA WHY THE KNIGHT DIDN’T KILL HER WHEN HE RAPED HER, AND MORGANA ANSWERS BECAUSE SHE’S A WOMAN A SEX GODDESS. MERLIN DOESN’T FIND IT AT ALL AMUSING (DESPITE MORGANA’S SARCASM) AND STARTS TALKING ABOUT DESTROYING THE SOURCE OF THE SEXING. MORGANA MORGAUSE.
THEY ARE STILL TALKING KINKY DIRTY THOUGHTS, OR THAT’S HOW MORGANA AND MERLIN TAKE THEM, WHEN ARTHUR SAYS TO BONDAGE HIS FATHER UP WITH STRIPS OF THE BLANKET. WOW ARTHUR, WAY TO GIVE MORGANA/MERLIN IDEAS.
ARTHUR DRAGS MERLIN AWAY FOR SOME SRS TALKING, BUT GETS DISTRACTED BY HIS FUCKING GOREGOUS FACE AND ARTHUR GETS A BLOW JOB UP AGAINST THE DOOR.
JUST LOOK AT HIS “OH YEA~” FACE!
MERLIN VERY MUCH ENJOYS IT WHEN ARTHUR RETURNS THE FAVOUR.
BECAUSE MERLIN IS A KINKY, KINKY MAN AND ARTHUR ENJOYS IT, MERLIN SLAPS HIS FACE ARSE.
ARTHUR ALSO GETS HIS WATERSPORTS-KINK ON
AS THEY HEAR THE SEX ORGY OF DOOOOOOOM APPROACH, THEY HAVE SOME RATHER SWEET LOVERS-TALK. FIRST ARTHUR MENTIONS MERLIN’S KNEE’S, BECAUSE HE OBVIOUSLY HAS A FASINATION WITH THEM (AND MERLIN WALKING GIVING BLOW JOBS ON THEM).
LOOK AT HOW HAPPY THE TALK MAKES HIM!
MERLIN CUDDLES ARTHUR’S PHALLIC WOOD.
ARTHUR KNOWS THAT GOING OUT INTO THE SEXSHOLAS ORGY OF DOOOOOOOOM WILL SURELY MEAN CERTAIN DEATH, BUT HE IS LAUGHING BECAUSE THEY ARE TALKING OF “NEXT LIVES” AND HOW THEIR LOVE WILL ALWAYS LIVE ON.
ALSO, THE LAST THING HE SEE’S BEFORE HE DIES WILL BE MERLIN’S LOVELY, SMILING FACE
FROM ALL THIS TALK OF NEXT LIVES AND HOW THEIR LOVE WILL LAST FOREVER AND THROUGH MANY REINCARNATIONS, MERLIN HAS REALISED WHO IS HIS ONE TRUE LOVE.
HE HAS MADE HIS DECISION.
\O/
HE DECIDES TO ENCHANT MORGANA INTO AN ENDLESS SLEEP, WHICH WILL NO DOUBT STOP THE SEXING PRESENCE AND THEREFORE END THE SPELL. IT WILL ALSO MAKE THINGS MUCH EASIER WHEN HE FINALLY BREAKS THE NEWS TO HER.
SO HE PUTS THE HEMLOT VIAGRA SLEEPING DRAFT INTO HIS WATER-SKIN.
HE OFFERS IT TO MORGANA, NOT LOOKING SHIFT OR SUSPICIOUS AT ALLLLLLLLLL
HOWEVER, MORGANA TRUSTS HIM IMPLICITLY, AND ACCEPTS IT WITH GRACE AND WITH THANKS.
AND SO SHE DRINKS FROM MERLIN’S FOUNTAIN OF LOVE WATER-SKIN.
SHE SOON REALISES THAT SOMETHING IS WRONG.
MERLIN KNOWS THAT SHE IS BEGINNING TO REALISE, BECAUSE THEIR LOVE MEANS THEY ARE CONNECTED LIKE THAT.
HE CRIES WOEFUL TEARS, BARELY MANAGES TO BRUSH THEM AWAY.
BUT HE MANAGES SOMEHOW, SO THAT HE CAN HAVE “THE TALK”, DESPITE HIS EVIDENT RELUCTANCE.
MERLIN TELLS MORGANA THAT HE IS LEAVING HER FOR ARTHUR - THAT THEY CAN NO LONGER BE TOGETHER AND LOVE EACH OTHER.
MORGANA IS DEVASTATED.
MERLIN TRIES TO COMFORT BUT MORGANA SLAPS HIM AWAY - SHE DOES NOT WANT HIS PITY.
MERLIN CONTINUES TO TRY TO HUG HER, TELLING HER HE IS SORRY.
MORGANA BREAKS DOWN AND RELENTS, CLINGING TO MERLIN AND HIS KINDNESS.
MERLIN IS DYING ON THE INSIDE.
MORGANA CLINGS TO HIM WITH THE HOPE THAT HER PASSING WILL BE PAINLESS, AND THAT SHE CAN FORGIVE MERLIN FOR THIS HEARTBREAK.
MERLIN IS NOT EVEN TRYING TO HIDE HIS PAIN NOW, DISGUSTED WITH HIMSELF FOR THIS.
MORGAUSE HEARS HER SISTER’S LOVER’S SUFFERING
AND BLASTS THROUGH THE DOOR TO COME TO THE AID OF HER ONE WEAKNESS.
SHE RUSHES OVER TO MORGANA, PUSHING MERLIN OUT OF THE WAY AND TAKING MORGANA FOR HERSELF.
MORGAUSE WANTS TO KNOW WHY SHE IS SLEEPING, AND MERLIN GOES SUPER FUCKING BADASS AT HER, SAYING HE HAD NO CHOICE AND HE KNOWS MORGANA IS HER WEAKNESS AND IF MORGAUSE WANTS HER THAN SHE WILL UNDO THE ENCHANTMENT.
PWOAR, BADASS MERLIN IS FUCKING SEXY!
MORGAUSE IS INSULTED AT MERLIN’S INSINUATION. NO ONE TELLS *HER* WHAT TO DO!
MERLIN COMES RIGHT BACK WITH “IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT POISON SLEEPING DRAFT IT IS, YOU WILL UNDO THE MAGIC THAT DRIVES THE KNIGHTS.
MORGAUSE IS ALL “I KEEL YOU!!!!!!!!”
BUT MERLIN’S NOT BUDGING, BECAUSE HE KNOWS MORGANA WILL DIE ALONGSIDE HIM AND HE CAN BE HAPPY IN THE NEXT LIFE, WITH BOTH HIS LOVERS
MORGAUSE CONCEEDS BECACUSE OF HER LOVE FOR MORGANA.
SHE UNDOES THE SEX-MAGIC THAT DRIVES THE SEXSHOLAS KNIGHTS, AND THEY FALL OVER, FLACCID AS YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE.
MERLIN, IN HOPING THAT MORGAUSE WILL BE ABLE TO SAVE MORGANA FROM ETERNAL SLEEP, HANDS OVER THE POTION TO A VERY GRATEFUL AND TEARY MORGAUSE.
HE EVEN STOPS ARTHUR FROM CHARGING IN AND SPEARING HER DEAD.
UTHER ALSO CHOSES THE RIGHT MOMENT TO WAKE UP GROANING AND MOANING FOR MOAR SEXING
LOL, UTHER’S HARDCORE!
MORGAUSE TORNADOES RIGHT THE FUCK OUT OF THERE WITH HER LOVER, SCREAMING AT EVERYONE TO KEEP THE FUCK AWAY FROM HER.
Ok, calming down for the moment. No no no, really, I have important non-squealing things to say that have nothing to do with my warped sense of reality. I was really torn up about this scene - Merlin poisoned Morgana (which I presume is the only way he could think of to try and save her while stopping Morgause). I really LOVE the hurt and the betrayal on Morgana’s face and the pain Merlin is evidently feeling at having to do this. Merlin knew he had no other choice, and he delayed it for as long as he could, but even then he couldn’t bring himself to use magic to ‘kill’ Morgana - he used poison (in what I KNOW is his attempt to save her and everybody. Which actually worked!) But seriously, when I first watched it (and even now) I can’t help thinking that surely Merlin couldn’t have at least done SOMETHING else? Anything? I kept expecting him to use Magic in every other scene when it was just Merlin and Morgana, since ITS OBVIOUS THE THING TO DO! Honestly, this boy is so stupid - had he just explained to Morgana what his intentions were (sort of, doing that lying-to-manipulate thing he does so frighteningly well), or even used his magic in front of her, then surely Morgana wouldn’t feel like she’s been betrayed by everyone? It’s how she’s going to become evil - that’s obviously where the show is going with this. Morgana will turn against Camelot and unite with Morgause and Mordred to bring about its ruin. And all because Merlin is a stupid fool who is too busy pulling a Gaius and NOT telling anyone anything, even when the whole fucking city is about to crumble. >:(
But then, if the hadn’t done this we wouldn’t have seen Dark!Merlin, I suppose. And Dark!Merlin is my favourite kind of Merlin 8D Merlin was choosing the lives of Arthur, his friends and those of the whole city over one person whom he cares for, but feels has already betrayed Camelot. It’s actually a really good way to go about it, if I’m completely honest, and I have to say I’m really impressed that Julian pulled it off so well.
(btw - I INTERVIEWED HIM. =DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD *will never shut up about that*)
Still, my heart breaks into a million pieces at what Merlin did. And I will not lie - I cried so hard, I think I broke my tear-ducts. Sadly, all I could hear was the sound of my ship exploding into a thousand, heartbroken pieces.
ANYWAY, BACK TO THE STORY.
EVERYONE IS IN MOURNING FOR THE LOSS OF MORGANA, ESPECIALLY UTHER. D:
ARTHUR IS ALSO DEVASTATED, AND BERATES HIMSELF FOR NOT PROTECTING MORGANA.
HE CANNOT EVEN BEAR TO BE PRAISED IN PROTECTING HIS FATHER, HE IS SO SAD. DD:
UTHER ISN’T HAVING ANY OF IT THOUGH; HE ACTUALLY WANTS TO BEAR THE FAULT OF THIS ALONE. ALTHOUGH THE WEIGHT OF HIS SORROW IS ALMOST TOO MUCH FOR HIM. DDD:
MERLIN IS ALSO UNABLE TO STAND THE HEARTBREAK - HE CANNOT EVEN EAT HE IS SO DISTRAUGHT. DDDDDD:
GAIUS’S EYEBROW HOWEVER, IS COMPLETELY INSENSITIVE AND ACTS LIKE A FUCKING DOUCHE.
HE SAID MERLIN DID THE RIGHT THING. :O WTFF, GAIUS! STFU!
HIS EYEBROW ALSO CONVENIENTLY LOOKS OVER THE FACT THAT HE NEVER GUIDED MORGANA’S MORAL USE OF MAGIC, UNLIKE HE DID WITH MERLIN.
BLOODY BASTARD!
MERLIN’S HEARTBREAK DOES NOT BELIEVE THIS BULLSHIT, SAYING THAT HE CARED ABOUT HER SO STFU GAIUS WITH YOUR STUPID NON-SYMPATHY.
HE CANNOT BEAR TO THINK OR TALK ABOUT IT ANY LONGER, AND TAKES HIS LEAVE.
HE IS OFF TO FREE THE SLASH DRAGON, LIKE HE PROMISED.
SLASH DRAGON TOLD HIM HE NEEDED ONE OF THE SEXSHOLAS KNIGHT’S SWORDS, BECAUSE THEY WERE CREATED WITH THE OLD RELIGION POWER OF GAY BUTTSEX, AND WITH THE COMBINED GAY OF MERLIN’S MAGIC AND LOVE FOR ARTHUR, THE SLASH DRAGON CAN BE FREEEEEEEEEED.
THE SLASH DRAGON IS EXCITED, HE CANNOT WAIT TO BE FREE TO RID THE KINGDOM OF HETERO SPREAD THE GAY RAINBOW LOVE.
MERLIN’S EARS ARE HAPPY FOR THE SLASH DRAGON AND HIS GAY HOLIDAY PARADE.
EITHER THE SLASH DRAGON USES STEALTH MAGIC, OR THESE STAIRS JUST APPEAR OUT OF NOWHERE, LEADING RIGHT TO THE DRAGON’S CHAIN. LOL.
IMMA GUESS IT WAS DRAGON MAGIC.
MERLIN WALKS DOWN THESE STAIRS OF RIDICULOUS HEIGHT LOOK RATHER TEENY. LOL.
EVENTUALLY HE ARRIVES AT THE BONDAGE CHAINS KEEPING SLASH DRAGON PRISONER.
THE GREAT SLASH DRAGON CAN PRACTICALLY SMELL HIS FREEDOM NOW!
BEFORE MERLIN USES HIS MAGIC TO FREE SLASH DRAGON, HE PLEADS WITH SLASHY TO LOOK OUT FOR HIS LOVERS AND KEEP THEM FROM HARM WITH HIS SUPAMAGICKSKILLZ.
THE DRAGON MAKES NO PROMISES THOUGH. \O/
WOW, SCARY DRAGON IS SCARY.
MERLIN BEGIN’S MAGIC’ING HIS SWORD PENIS
AND JIZZES HIS PANTS IN ONE SPECTACULAR SHOWER OF SPUNK
SLASH DOBBY IS FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
NEXT WEEK IS THE FINALE AND I DON’T EVEN THINK I WATCH IT BECAUSE I HAVE TO GO TO SOME STUPID FAMILY CHRISTMAS PARTY. DDD: BUT WHAT WILL I DO WITHOUT MY GAAAAAY?!!!!! *CRIES*
YES, I DO REALISE I AM THIS SAD KIND OF PERSON. I WOULD RATHER WATCH MERLIN THAT HAVE FAMILY CHRISTMAS PARTY, THERE IS INDEED SOMETHING WRONG WITH MY LIFE.
WHO CARES, I AM NOT GOING TO SURVIVE WITHOUT IT FOR THE NEXT EIGHT MONTHS ANYWAY. DDDDDD: