Something that's been on my mind lately
On Monday [Apr 21], I was standing on the sidewalk in downtown San Francisco [near Civic Center], speaking with Nyah. A homeless-looking woman came around the corner, followed by a homeless-looking man; They appeared to be having some kind of argument, the subject of which I could not discern. The man grabbed onto the woman and pinned her up against the wall (there was more yelling and stuff), the man also appeared to be pulling his pants down [or possibly up]. To me, it looked like things were about to get worse, so completely without thinking about it, I yelled at the guy twice as I ran up (he ignored me), and then shoved him off the woman (who fled the scene) (then he noticed me). He yelled at me a bunch, I don't remember what he said, I was like Yeah, yeah, whatever I was mostly thinking about how I would avoid coming into contact with his bodily fluids if I had to incapacitate him. He walked down the sidewalk, looking backwards at me, in the direction the woman fled, yelling at me the whole time, and then after about twenty feet he turned around and came back. He stood just out of arm reach, and wanted me to agree to something, I think that it was something like: I need to watch out, because the next time he sees me, he'll kick my ass. [Not this time of course.] And I was like yeah, whatever as I was targeting where to grab him if he moved any closer. He walked away again, satisfied (I guess) with my answer, then after twenty feet or so, turned around again, and came up right next to me again. I think he was asking me the same question again. And I did the same thing, and he walked away again, and after the same distance, turned back around and came back, again. And so I did the same thing, and then he finally left, and didn't come back to ask me something unintelligible.
I went back over to Nyah, and immediately picked up the conversation where it left off, as if nothing had happened. However, she couldn't continue the conversation because she was in shock. I realized that I had felt no fear at all, which was a little bit surprising, as this is the sort of situation where you might expect one would feel fear. In fact, I'm a little bit concerned about this as it would seem like a symptom on some DSM entry.
So, I'm not sure what story I should tell myself: What this experience means about me. Does it mean that I'm a hero, that my true calling is law enforcement not computer security? Does it mean that I'm a cold emotionless psychopath? (Or at least that my emergency backup personality is.)
It also occurred to me a few days later, that I probably should have called the police at the time. It also occurred to me that, technically speaking I assaulted the guy. (Though it may not technically be assault if you're stopping another crime; I am not a lawyer.)
Tangent: There was another homeless-looking black man down the street who after watching the above take place, accused me of being a racist. I couldn't understand why; I pulled that [black] man off that woman because I thought he was about to rape her, not because I hate blacks. He also accused Nyah of being a racist too, although she hadn't moved or said anything. I really didn't want to get into a dialog with this guy over why I'm not a racist, since I suspect that he probably accuses everyone of being racist. So I mostly ignored him, and he went away. As he was leaving I heard the first reasonable thing out of his mouth: He said that I was a racist, because if it had been a black woman, I wouldn't have saved her. I didn't really know how to respond to that… Especially since I thought that the woman was black, and more importantly: I would have saved anyone in that situation.
Postscript: This is not the first time in which I've been in a situation like this.
I went back over to Nyah, and immediately picked up the conversation where it left off, as if nothing had happened. However, she couldn't continue the conversation because she was in shock. I realized that I had felt no fear at all, which was a little bit surprising, as this is the sort of situation where you might expect one would feel fear. In fact, I'm a little bit concerned about this as it would seem like a symptom on some DSM entry.
So, I'm not sure what story I should tell myself: What this experience means about me. Does it mean that I'm a hero, that my true calling is law enforcement not computer security? Does it mean that I'm a cold emotionless psychopath? (Or at least that my emergency backup personality is.)
It also occurred to me a few days later, that I probably should have called the police at the time. It also occurred to me that, technically speaking I assaulted the guy. (Though it may not technically be assault if you're stopping another crime; I am not a lawyer.)
Tangent: There was another homeless-looking black man down the street who after watching the above take place, accused me of being a racist. I couldn't understand why; I pulled that [black] man off that woman because I thought he was about to rape her, not because I hate blacks. He also accused Nyah of being a racist too, although she hadn't moved or said anything. I really didn't want to get into a dialog with this guy over why I'm not a racist, since I suspect that he probably accuses everyone of being racist. So I mostly ignored him, and he went away. As he was leaving I heard the first reasonable thing out of his mouth: He said that I was a racist, because if it had been a black woman, I wouldn't have saved her. I didn't really know how to respond to that… Especially since I thought that the woman was black, and more importantly: I would have saved anyone in that situation.
Postscript: This is not the first time in which I've been in a situation like this.