The Interview Meme
I got these questions from butathinsilence about a month ago, but never had a chance to answer them until now! She asks cool questions, too, which should be no surprise.
1.) If you were in a colony of bees, would you like to be a worker or a queen? Why? If you choose to be a worker, what would your specific job be, and why would you choose that job? If you choose the be the queen, what would your mate look like? Would you have one mate and stop having sex after he died or would you have many mates? Where would your settlement be? What would be your favotrite flower to steal pollen from?
Well, being a queen is nice and all but you end up with a gigantic and ridiculous fat ass, stuck in the middle of the hive for the rest of your life in the dark pumping out constant children. And I think from the way my life is going it's pretty clear that I'm destined to be the drone worker -- a lack of mates but an abundance of work. We'd settle either in the Palouse (the green rolling hills around Moscow, ID) or in Wyoming (my birth state). I'd steal pollen from dandelions all the time, because I feel a great kinship with dandelions. If they were rare, people would try to cultivate them and enjoy their jubilant yellow, but because they are hardy and don't do what they're told, people kill them instead.
2.) You are a conductor on a train and a little girl is stuck on the track. You try everything you possilby can to stop the train but you hit her. Her father is after you. Do you report him so that after having his daughter run over by a train, both his parents die in a car accident, and his wife leave him for a bulky drunk, he spends the rest of his life in jail or an asylum, or do you hide away and live in fear, hoping he will someday forgive you? Or do you do something else that I perhaps haven't thought of?
I'm really torn here. My instinct would be to hide as a hobo in the subways of New York out of shame and avoidance, but then again maybe the guy *needs* to be in an asylum and I should help him. That's a lot of bad shit to have happen to one guy. Maybe if I mated with him and produced a replacement girl child he would be happy again? I can do that, I think, if my uterus actually works. I don't know whether it does.
3.) Anti-aging creams don't work. Do you waste all your money on them anyway with tiny hope?
I can actually say no with full confidence here, seeing as how I don't even bother buying makeup to try and cover up my zits and other blemishes, which are the result of spending a semester showering as little as possible. It's only been within the past few years that waitresses have stopped giving me kiddie menus. Last month I looked at myself smiling in the mirror and I think I'm getting little lines around my mouth when I smile and I actually kind of like it, it looks mature and tired but sweet.
4.) Come over to my house and spend the night. Do you want to sleep in my bed and make me sleep on the couch? Sleep on the couch and let me sleep on my bed? Sleep with me? Sleep with my dad? Sleep with my brother? Sleep on the porch? Not sleep? Camp out in the woods in a tent? Camp in the yard in a tent? Sleep in the yard under the sky (how romantic)? If we camp in the woods, I might get up because I have to pee in the night and while I'm trying to find my way through the dark, fall in a hole. My leg is broken. What do you do?
Couches are actually extremely comfortable in my experience and I do not understand the prejudices against them. However, people are also extremely cuddly and I will sneak snuggles from them fairly often. So the answer is probably on the couch or crawling into bed with you in the middle of the night and hoping you don't think I'm trying to molest you. Unless you asked. Of course. I mean. That was an invitation, right?
If you broke your leg in the middle of the night, I would probably have to shoot you. Wait, no, that's for horses. I would have to carry you back to civilization on my back. I'm not a really squeamish person, and would be tempted to try and set your leg, but I would know it needed to wait for professionals. But if we were on a deserted island, I'd try and set it and wrap your legs in palm fronds and spit and sand.
5.) Don't Sweat the Small Stuff For Teens or Chicken Soup For the Animal Lover's Soul III?The second. I'm beyond high school and ever so glad of it -- high school was full of small stuff that had to be sweated, resulting in psychological B.O. and I still haven't washed myself fully from it at college! Also, I'm a sucker for furry and unfurry critters. The vet sent me a Christmas card and their billings person recognizes me by sight. That's how much of a sucker I am.
I suppose it is my duty to give anyone who replies to this questions as well.
1.) If you were in a colony of bees, would you like to be a worker or a queen? Why? If you choose to be a worker, what would your specific job be, and why would you choose that job? If you choose the be the queen, what would your mate look like? Would you have one mate and stop having sex after he died or would you have many mates? Where would your settlement be? What would be your favotrite flower to steal pollen from?
Well, being a queen is nice and all but you end up with a gigantic and ridiculous fat ass, stuck in the middle of the hive for the rest of your life in the dark pumping out constant children. And I think from the way my life is going it's pretty clear that I'm destined to be the drone worker -- a lack of mates but an abundance of work. We'd settle either in the Palouse (the green rolling hills around Moscow, ID) or in Wyoming (my birth state). I'd steal pollen from dandelions all the time, because I feel a great kinship with dandelions. If they were rare, people would try to cultivate them and enjoy their jubilant yellow, but because they are hardy and don't do what they're told, people kill them instead.
2.) You are a conductor on a train and a little girl is stuck on the track. You try everything you possilby can to stop the train but you hit her. Her father is after you. Do you report him so that after having his daughter run over by a train, both his parents die in a car accident, and his wife leave him for a bulky drunk, he spends the rest of his life in jail or an asylum, or do you hide away and live in fear, hoping he will someday forgive you? Or do you do something else that I perhaps haven't thought of?
I'm really torn here. My instinct would be to hide as a hobo in the subways of New York out of shame and avoidance, but then again maybe the guy *needs* to be in an asylum and I should help him. That's a lot of bad shit to have happen to one guy. Maybe if I mated with him and produced a replacement girl child he would be happy again? I can do that, I think, if my uterus actually works. I don't know whether it does.
3.) Anti-aging creams don't work. Do you waste all your money on them anyway with tiny hope?
I can actually say no with full confidence here, seeing as how I don't even bother buying makeup to try and cover up my zits and other blemishes, which are the result of spending a semester showering as little as possible. It's only been within the past few years that waitresses have stopped giving me kiddie menus. Last month I looked at myself smiling in the mirror and I think I'm getting little lines around my mouth when I smile and I actually kind of like it, it looks mature and tired but sweet.
4.) Come over to my house and spend the night. Do you want to sleep in my bed and make me sleep on the couch? Sleep on the couch and let me sleep on my bed? Sleep with me? Sleep with my dad? Sleep with my brother? Sleep on the porch? Not sleep? Camp out in the woods in a tent? Camp in the yard in a tent? Sleep in the yard under the sky (how romantic)? If we camp in the woods, I might get up because I have to pee in the night and while I'm trying to find my way through the dark, fall in a hole. My leg is broken. What do you do?
Couches are actually extremely comfortable in my experience and I do not understand the prejudices against them. However, people are also extremely cuddly and I will sneak snuggles from them fairly often. So the answer is probably on the couch or crawling into bed with you in the middle of the night and hoping you don't think I'm trying to molest you. Unless you asked. Of course. I mean. That was an invitation, right?
If you broke your leg in the middle of the night, I would probably have to shoot you. Wait, no, that's for horses. I would have to carry you back to civilization on my back. I'm not a really squeamish person, and would be tempted to try and set your leg, but I would know it needed to wait for professionals. But if we were on a deserted island, I'd try and set it and wrap your legs in palm fronds and spit and sand.
5.) Don't Sweat the Small Stuff For Teens or Chicken Soup For the Animal Lover's Soul III?The second. I'm beyond high school and ever so glad of it -- high school was full of small stuff that had to be sweated, resulting in psychological B.O. and I still haven't washed myself fully from it at college! Also, I'm a sucker for furry and unfurry critters. The vet sent me a Christmas card and their billings person recognizes me by sight. That's how much of a sucker I am.
I suppose it is my duty to give anyone who replies to this questions as well.