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OH DAMMIT. I wrote this big huge account of my last week, and it's completely gone. There was a power surge or something at my house, and it ONLY affected the computers. My computer shut down, and now everything I worked on is gone. What is the hell is the point of this Livejournal autosave feature if it can't recover what I wrote? DAMN IT.
I guess ( Read more... )
I guess ( Read more... )
Good food at college is an absolute godsend. It is manna from the gods. It is the water springing from the rock. Having FREE college food is something even better...maybe comparable to being high and tripping, but I am only guessing.
My worst finals experience... Probably having to show to my parents the F's, like two-pronged pitchforks, on my report card, under the space marked 'test'.
But that wouldn't be your worst finals experience if you were absolutely sure you were going to be Patti Smith :D
I suppose that I just wait for the frenzy to drain out of me, and that's when I consciously try to rest; trying to do so before is just futile.
Ah, see, but my problem is, the frenzy just never drains out. I suppose it coagulates in my blood and pools in my lymph nodes, until I swell up with the phlegmy meaninglessness of stress and finals and the pursuit of good grades.
It also doesn't help that I am insomniac, and I don't really sleep well. I am also usually more energetic when I *don't* sleep, which makes me wonder where all the pent up adenosine in my clogged synapses went. Or maybe I am slowly being poisoned by a toxic buildup of neurochemicals.
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There is that cheery possibility. I firmly believe that most chronic illnesses are stress-related; perhaps there's a correlation between stress-prone personalities, and ailments such as fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome. I don't think I've ever heard any tales of stoners working at Blockbuster ending up with irritable bowel syndrome or Epstein-Barr. I'm probably stating the obvious, but I like to occasionally remind myself of this; maybe I'll cut down on the time that I spend pondering the imponderables.
I believe in the medical/biological validity of psychosomatic illnesses. I have a friend who is doing research on gastrointestinal disorders and how it relates to stress. Apparently people get gassy when they are stressed, or aroused, or otherwise emotionally/psychologically imbalanced. I've never heard of people farting during the throes of passion, but I assume that can be a stressful experience.
I definitely believe that chronic fatigue and other depression-related symptoms are related to stress. What really is bizzare to me is how the body will actually create malignant tumors and growths due to stress. Wow. That really boggles my mind.
maybe I'll cut down on the time that I spend pondering the imponderables.
But see, the imponderable is absolutely plausible. Irritable bowel syndrome caused by stress? Talk about T.S. Eliot's 'objective correlative'. He probably had no idea that it is poetically and medically plausible to describe emotional states in terms of gas.
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Yeah, it relates to the increased intake of oxygen when one is in stressful conditions- courtesy of our friend, adrenaline.
I've never heard of people farting during the throes of passion, but I assume that can be a stressful experience.
I'm not trying to laugh at anybody's pain, but that is really kind of funny.
I definitely believe that chronic fatigue and other depression-related symptoms are related to stress. What really is bizzare to me is how the body will actually create malignant tumors and growths due to stress. Wow. That really boggles my mind.
I don't know- there's something very poetic about it: cancer is essentially a natural process gone rabid. The replication of cells is part of the healing process, but when they don't stop, a tumor is formed. If one thinks of stress- specifically caused by emotional anguish- as something that wounds, it makes an awful kind of sense. Perhaps there comes a point at which the body is so wounded that it cannot stop trying to heal itself.
But see, the imponderable is absolutely plausible.
That's half of what keeps me pondering.
He probably had no idea that it is poetically and medically plausible to describe emotional states in terms of gas.
Well, to this day we still relate to mood in terms of 'humor'. Perhaps we're just moving up in the phases of matter.
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I don't know- there's something very poetic about it: cancer is essentially a natural process gone rabid. The replication of cells is part of the healing process, but when they don't stop, a tumor is formed. If one thinks of stress- specifically caused by emotional anguish- as something that wounds, it makes an awful kind of sense. Perhaps there comes a point at which the body is so wounded that it cannot stop trying to heal itself.
That IS very poetic. I never thought about it that way.
It must also be related to the fact that zebras do not have ulcers but we do. And that rates of cancer increases among domesticated animals, such as humans and dogs. In nature, a stressed out animal gets killed. Instead of being killed by a lion or wolf, we are killed by our body's attempt to fix our emotional anguish. That is quite beautiful in a very strange, twisted way.
Well, to this day we still relate to mood in terms of 'humor'.
I think that linguistic fact (along with other interesting linguistic roots) is sadly lost to the general consciousness of English speakers. Should we revert back to the golden means of diagnosing a "melancholic" person in terms of an excess of one emotion and a deprivation of another? Leeching and psychological bloodletting perhaps sounds like a good idea. In a way, I still feel that despite modern theories of psychology, it still resembles its medieval roots.
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