can't afford life
Gods damn... I am making myself sick over how much I'm stressing out. I mean, I know it will all work out in the end, but the uncertainty is killing me.
So first off, I was only guarenteed 3 years of housing at Pitt (class of 2012 was the first students to be given 4 years guarenteed). So that means I have to find an appartment for next year. I'm really hoping to be able to get a place at the complex that Joseph lives in. Decent price, good location, and it's pretty secure so not much worry of break-ins.
But then, I need this place for 2 years... So that means next summer I have to keep it in order to get it for the next year... But, if I am able to get a job over this summer, I will have to commute back to Greenville constantly over the summer. So Gas and car parts (plus the apartment) is going to kill my savings (what little I have...). I figured out a rough guess of a per month cost to cover all my expenses... $1100/month... That's rent, utilities (just a electric, yay!), food, phone, internet, cell phone... Fuck living off campus...
Did I mention that my Work Study funds got cut? Yeah... apparently the government thinks I have too much money so they cut that... I can now only work 42 hours ALL of next semester. 42. Not a typo. Forty-two. viente times dos y dos... 4-fucking-2.... I was really counting on that $1750 to have to put away for these next few years... Urg... fuck you government!
But then, good news. Daddy told me I could have The house once I graduate. Bad news, he's STILL planning on renting it out for at least a year or two... So I STILL have to fucking pack everything up and find a place for it (He's building a house out at grandma and papa's because they're getting free gas). So then since he's renting it, that means I have to live with him until they decide to move out. "Can't just kick em out because you came back =D" he says... URRRRRRAGH! I HAAAAAAAAAAAATE PACKING! Once when I was 4, again then parent's broke up, then again to change apartments in fredonia, then when they got back together, then when they offically devoriced, then when i moved back with dad, then moving back and forth between home and college... So that's what... 12? I am fucking tired of packing and unpacking my life! I like this house, I don't want to loose it. Not having to pack up my entire life is just a plus. The only thing though is that I need to have a job before he'll let me have it so that I can afford the rent and utilities.
Then there's the whole affair of finding a summer job (I'm kinda 0 for 5 here...), then hopefully being able to keep it for the next summer and then HOPEFULLY being able to keep it as a fulltime possition for when I'm done with school incase I can't get a teaching job... Urg... fuck life. Serriously. How do people do it? Maybe I should get my depression treated so I don't get tempted...
Bleh... I hate my liiiiiiiiiiiiife... I wish I had a boy/girlfriend... I wish I had someone I could stand living with... I wish I had love... I wish I had alot of things, but I highly doubt I'll ever get any of them =/
So first off, I was only guarenteed 3 years of housing at Pitt (class of 2012 was the first students to be given 4 years guarenteed). So that means I have to find an appartment for next year. I'm really hoping to be able to get a place at the complex that Joseph lives in. Decent price, good location, and it's pretty secure so not much worry of break-ins.
But then, I need this place for 2 years... So that means next summer I have to keep it in order to get it for the next year... But, if I am able to get a job over this summer, I will have to commute back to Greenville constantly over the summer. So Gas and car parts (plus the apartment) is going to kill my savings (what little I have...). I figured out a rough guess of a per month cost to cover all my expenses... $1100/month... That's rent, utilities (just a electric, yay!), food, phone, internet, cell phone... Fuck living off campus...
Did I mention that my Work Study funds got cut? Yeah... apparently the government thinks I have too much money so they cut that... I can now only work 42 hours ALL of next semester. 42. Not a typo. Forty-two. viente times dos y dos... 4-fucking-2.... I was really counting on that $1750 to have to put away for these next few years... Urg... fuck you government!
But then, good news. Daddy told me I could have The house once I graduate. Bad news, he's STILL planning on renting it out for at least a year or two... So I STILL have to fucking pack everything up and find a place for it (He's building a house out at grandma and papa's because they're getting free gas). So then since he's renting it, that means I have to live with him until they decide to move out. "Can't just kick em out because you came back =D" he says... URRRRRRAGH! I HAAAAAAAAAAAATE PACKING! Once when I was 4, again then parent's broke up, then again to change apartments in fredonia, then when they got back together, then when they offically devoriced, then when i moved back with dad, then moving back and forth between home and college... So that's what... 12? I am fucking tired of packing and unpacking my life! I like this house, I don't want to loose it. Not having to pack up my entire life is just a plus. The only thing though is that I need to have a job before he'll let me have it so that I can afford the rent and utilities.
Then there's the whole affair of finding a summer job (I'm kinda 0 for 5 here...), then hopefully being able to keep it for the next summer and then HOPEFULLY being able to keep it as a fulltime possition for when I'm done with school incase I can't get a teaching job... Urg... fuck life. Serriously. How do people do it? Maybe I should get my depression treated so I don't get tempted...
Bleh... I hate my liiiiiiiiiiiiife... I wish I had a boy/girlfriend... I wish I had someone I could stand living with... I wish I had love... I wish I had alot of things, but I highly doubt I'll ever get any of them =/