[fic] Delusional Escape
Title: Delusional Escape
Pairing: akame, Ryokame
Rating: PG (just to be save)
Genre: Angst
Beta by: lenten_rose
Disclaimer: I owe nothing
Summary: Kazuya changed as if Jin's image doesn't come across his mind once while Jin still believes that what belongs to him will always be his, unless something can change his view.
A/N: sorry, i suck at making summaries. Anyways..there's a glimpse of Ryo in here..something weird actually.
A windy day of January is something ordinary - not really. A figure can be seen walking along the busy street of Tokyo. His steps are proper and slow, showing how relax he can be. He walks and walks until his feet bring him to a spot where he suddenly stops. In front of him now stands a 24-floor of exclusive apartment block. He just stands there without blinking; looking at the tall building; he is a man with an upturned face. After mere seconds pass, he decided to move in, but not into the tall building. He walks a few blocks from where he stands just now, straight to a bright blue apartment block which looks as if it costs a few month of his salary for a month rent.
The no.221 door opens as the door bell rings for the second time. A tall, medium figure opens the door for the other one to enter. A smile can be seen on both of their faces; showing how glad they are to see each other.
“Hi. Sorry for interrupting again, today.”
“It’s fine, I’m waiting anyway.”
....................
The front door opens slightly, it creaks slowly; trying to avoid from making any noise; not even a thud sound. The atmosphere inside is dull; boring painted white walls and expensive modern furniture. The man enters the room without even turning the lights on since he knows the room too well.
Making his way straight to the bedroom, he suddenly stops as he sees a shadow on the couch. He gets himself to inspect the figure whom been sleeping soundly; curling himself like a ball with the side pillow in his embrace.
“He’d been waiting for me again.” a deep sigh is heard, out of a sudden.
The man turns to the room and comes out once again with a blanket in his hands. The blanket then covers the figure lying on the couch. Before moving himself again, the man lean nearer, brushing the other man’s bang so that he can see his eyes. He hesitates a bit, remembering what he just did. His hands tremble a bit, without any reasons. Not wanting to think further, he walks to the room and closes the door.
His back leans to the thick door. With the sorrow look, he trembles down to his knees with his head hanging low facing the floor. “This, must be stopped,” the words come out barely above whisper and it seeps into the cold, wet air of the night.
He still remembers the way they have been living; he’s been the one who used to be sleeping on the couch, waiting for the other to come home. Every night he’ll hear the words, “Why did you sleep here? I told you not to wait for me. Let’s sleep inside ne honey.”
For these past few months, none of these words ever come out anymore. They won’t; not when he’s been coming home only when it’s nearly dawn. He won’t wait for him anymore. Everything has changed for a reason. A reason he can’t even explain himself.
...................
Their eyes meet again for the uncountable times of the day but none of them dare to take the first step. The taller man has been wondering why he doesn’t even have the courage to talk. They are drifting away from each other but he still fail to figure out, why? He tries to think of a proper reason but never did he find one. He still loves him and doesn’t want to think how life would be without him.
“Are both of you having a fight or something Jin?” Nakamaru; the one who realizes the awkward somehow gloomy atmosphere around them asked, making the other members turn their eyes to him.
He just let his gorgeous grin out. “No. uh, never. You guys worry too much.”
He speaks the truth. They never actually do engage in a serious fight. But then again, how can they even fight when they don’t even talk? They’ve been leaving together, seeing each other everyday but somehow they are nothing but strangers to each other.
.........................
The jewelry store is opened for customers to come and spend their money on something; in their opinion is, precious. A man with casual outfit enters the store with small steps, matching the small smile tugging the corner of his lips.
The man has been wondering around the city for quite some time. Now, he has found something that he wants; perfectly matching his needs. Gold would look great but he prefers a silver one. The unique, somehow irreplaceable carving on it makes him wanted to have it on that instant. It aesthetically reminds him of his lover.
“This one sir?”
“Yes. I’ll take this one. Thank you.”
He leaves the store happily, humming a nameless sound; he steps to the next place in his mind.
“This year will be the best.” He said; still grinning.
................
Those hands gently move down, touching the younger one’s sensitive skin. They have been on that state; tangle to each other for a few hours now. Their eyes still clouded with mist of lust. The younger one moves a bit to get some air. He gives the older one a satisfied look. He never feels this better in this few months; his life is changing, bit by bit, little by little.
It is relaxing to be in this state. The older male really knows him well; just recently. They have a good time caressing each other. He shuts his lips close while bringing them nearer to the other’s lips; touching them gently. He nips his lover’s lower lip making the other to slightly open his closed eyes. He moves deeper, making his way to find the other’s tongue and tangle them together. He synchronizes the kiss even, showing how good kisser he can be. Just as they’re going to get to the intimate part again, the cell phone rings. They got up, parted from each other. They younger one hesitates as soon as his eyes look on the screen.
“I’m sorry...it’s...” he tried to explain but his words are cut by a sudden kiss on the lips.
“It’s fine. Just pick it up. He must have missed you.”
Those words are just like a wind blowing through his mind. He pushes the answering button, somehow absentmindedly.
“Hello...” his voice sounded different; he even surprises himself.
“Hi. It’s me. I’m not interrupting anything, am I?”
“Nn-..no...” he can feel his body shivers with such lie.
“I just want to inform you that I won’t be home today. The filming is going to be extended a bit more.”
“Okay.” was all he could say.
“Well, I see you then. Good night. …I miss you.”
Those last words from the opposite line make his heart aches. He feels terrible. It shouldn’t be this way.
Hadn’t he got what he had told him?
Or was the other one just playing dumb? And maybe he still is after all.
He lays himself beside his lover, looking at him silently. His heart is thudding fast. Does he love him or the other him? He feels bad for cheating him but somehow, nothing can be done to turn everything back. He has someone who loves him better. Treating him well; not leaving him all alone, waiting for him to come home. This life satisfies him better but why does he feel painful? Hearing his voice just now rejuvenates the memories of them; together. Their greatest time of being an absolute couple has gone but he knows that love still exists. A part of his heart has been fulfilled with that man’s love and no matter how hard he tries to erase it, it won’t vanish.
.............
“You must come. You have to.” Jin Akanishi, the man with the black checked shirt said.
The man who is sitting beside him turns to face his friend and give a confused look. “I told you. I can’t promise. Just tell me what this is all about?”
Jin pouts. “It won’t be a surprise if I tell you.”
Yamashita; the one who makes Jin his company for tonight, smiles. “C’mon Jin...I won’t tell anybody. Or else... I won’t come.”
“That’s not fair!” Jin slaps his friend chest, hard.
“Oii...that hurts. Just tell me will ya?”
Jin doesn’t react for a moment. He doesn’t know whether he should tell the other about this or not. But finally when Yamashita says that he’ll treat him anything he wants, he agrees - immediately.
“I’m going to call out an engagement party.”
“What? You propose? I mean, already?”
He shakes his head. “But I’m going to propose him tomorrow and I’m sure he’ll say yes.”
“Gosh...a fast answer that is. You’re crazy. But what if he rejects you?”
Really, that kind of situation doesn’t cross his mind, at all. What if he says no?
“Then, the party is still on. It’ll be a just a meet up party.” He replied calmly.
Yamashita put his arms around Jin’s shoulder. “Don’t worry. I’m sure he’ll say yes.”
And somehow Jin forces a laugh out. He doesn’t know anymore.
“What’s the purpose of scaring me in the first place?”
Yamashita smiles, “Just to see your confidence level. “So, any other surprises? Owh, how about the ring?”
Talking about the ring, Jin fishes a red box out of his pocket. He then pushes it to Yamashita to open.
Yamashita opens the box and widens his eyes. “Man, this is awesome. I mean, just look at this! It’s…gorgeous! The carvings. Where did you get this?”
“Jewelry store of course. I made them make it for me.” Jin said proudly.
“Cool! I’m sure he’ll love it. Ne Jin, could you get one for me?” Yamashita said as he pokes Jin’s arm a few times.
He wears an annoyed face saying, “stop it Pi. Go and get it yourself.”
“Meanie.” Yamashita pouts and looks the other way. He takes his eyes to the dance floor; looking at those people; they’re dancing like there is no tomorrow - the world is no longer a big matter for them. His eyes suddenly stop at two familiar figures and he frowns. What are they doing? Why the fuck is that guy kissing him, touching him like that?
The two familiar figures are moving along the beat; just like the other couples - they’re currently in their own world, doing such thing in public and they don’t give a shit what other people are doing or even witnessing of them.
Kazuya let his lover kisses him all over. He doesn’t care; not their words, not their sly eyes.
Who cares when he’s here with me?
His mind speaks.
Just then, a voice speaks,
“Are you happy my love?”
Kazuya opens his eyes and slowly his lips curve upward, forming a bright smile.
“Yes, as always.”
He feels like drowning and so he drowns himself; into the crook of his neck, into the crack of his love.
At the bar, Jin and his best buddy are having their last drink for the night.
“Let’s dance before going home.”
Perhaps, it may ease his throbbing headache; Jin thinks.
Yamashita shakes his head; and that is an absolute ‘no’.
“Let’s just sit here and chat.” He tries not to let Jin witness something hurtful. Not until he gets to talk to that forbidden couple.
“No way. I want to ask that chic over there. Look Pi, she’s hot.” Jin said as he turns his seat, facing the heated dance floor.
His eyes are wondering around the place searching for someone to dance with when suddenly his eyes stop on something.
He rises from his sitting state making Yamashita to do the same. Jin’s eyes widen in shock. He can’t believe what he sees. With a hurt feeling, he starts to take his steps when a hand tightly holds him.
“Jin! No.” it was all Yamashita could say to avoid his friend from doing something foolish.
With a deathly glare Jin pushes his friend hard, making him to fall backward.
“Let go of me!”
Jin strides over to the center of the dancing floor while murmuring ‘excuse me’ and ‘get out of my way’.
And as soon as he reaches the couple, he stands still; eyes burning with indescribable emotions and his tongue stings unsaid words.
The two figures are still dancing along with the music. They don’t realize the burning gaze from the other man. The other people near them have already stopped dancing and waiting for what will come next.
Jin just stands there; anger bubbles up, eyes staring holes. He tries to calm himself, trying to be rational although it is impossible.
“Kazuya. Ryo.” he said slowly, adjusting his unbalance emotion.
That voice comes striding; and the other two halt on their steps. They break apart with an awkward expression.
Ryo moves backward and got a hard pull from Yamashita; he seems out of breath.
“Stay out of this before you make it even worse.”
Jin stands just an inch from Kazuya, saying nothing. He tries to find words while eyeing his so called lover.
“I-I’m sorry.”
Jin smirks. “So. This is the reason.”
“Jin...it’s...” Kazuya tried to explain.
Stomping his foot once, Jin stops Kazuya’s sentence.
“I can’t believe you. I thought that you’re busy, no time to even talk to me because the works tire you. I-I just can’t handle this.”
Kazuya doesn’t want to explain this time, he argues instead.
“You left me first Jin. You had no idea how lonely I was,”
And a drop of tear stains the truth.
/flashback/
Everything is still clear in his mind.
“Let’s stop, Jin.” he said, hiding his face on Jin’s broad chest.
“Huh? B-but, why?” his lover seems confused.
“I don’t want to continue. Not like this. We barely see each other more than two hours a month. I’m sick of being left alone,”
“W-what are you talking about?”
Kazuya lowers his eyes.
“Just forget about it. Just pretend I didn’t say anything.” He said and put a kiss on the other’s cheek.
That is the first time they’re able to have a short chat in a few months. And it’s also the last time they sit on the same couch ever since.
/end of flashback/
Jin’s eyes widen. “I-I’m working Kazuya! and you didn’t believe me, did you?” he sighs. He should be angry but he doesn’t, or maybe, he can’t.
“No. Let’s just, stop Jin. I-I can’t see future when I’m with you.” Kazuya lowers hi head, having no courage to even look into his still lovable Jin.
Pitiful and sorrowful looks surround the whole club as if the pain can be felt in each hearts of those watching eyes.
He feels like face palming, Jin let out a soft sigh; a depressing one.
Everything is over.
Kazuya has made his decision. He’ll accept the consequences of making work as his first priority rather than his Kazuya. It’s his fault that Kazuya turn to someone else. He is the one to be blamed.
Thinking of it, Jin feels a tiny drop of his tears starting to leak down. His wipes them as soon as it comes out and he finally says, “I guess this is the end.”
Kazuya is the one in shock this time.
He’ll beg me to stay, right?
Is there any love left for me in you, Jin?
Looking into the other’s eyes, he knows perfectly that Jin has completely given up. His hands start to tremble causing by the tense and sadness of losing the only love in his life.
“Jin!” He called out, choking back a little sob he has.
Hearing that voice, Jin can’t hold himself from facing Kazuya; maybe for the last time. He smiles - it should be a relief smile but it turns out to be a hurtful one. “It’s fine. Don’t blame yourself.”
Jin picks out the red box from his pocket and gives it to Kazuya. “For you,” he calmly said before walking away.
Passing the whole crowd is hard. What happens today will be a bad day for both of them.
But tomorrow may turn out fine, in a way.
Jin walks his way out and when he passes Yamashita and Ryo who have been standing like a statue; still in shock, he whispers, “The engagement party is off but make sure you come to the meet up party, Pi. And. you’re invited too Ryo.” patting both of them.
With those last sentences, he vanishes among the crowd, leaving the regretful Kazuya along with the ring.
-The End-
p/s: don't kill me for such ending.
my beta is back =) but she’s very buzy now, so I won’t disturb her much...anyways thanks for reading ^-^