(no subject)
Yesterday, oddly in time with the rain, it felt like a decision clicked into my brain. It didn't come to me like a lightning bolt, it came to me in random bouts of crying throughout the day (which made work kiiinda awkward). When I got home I told him I love him, I even forgive him, but I simply don't know if I can be his wife anymore. Yesterday things felt... final. And incredibly, deeply sad.
Today I asked my dad (not bio) to meet me for lunch and I cried my heart out to him. He gave me so much good advice and things to consider that I wish I could've recorded the whole conversation. I don't know why I hadn't called him sooner, because after the conversation I felt much better. I still don't have a decision but now I don't feel so pressured to make one. Like he simply said, "When you know, you'll know."
After making me well up by saying how much I reminded him of Mom (granted making me cry isn't hard as of late) he told me she had a saying: "You only get to fuck me over once." That is not an invitation to do so, nor is it a guarantee of forgiveness if fucking-over does occur... but it is a good thing to keep in mind if we decide to stay together.
Today I asked my dad (not bio) to meet me for lunch and I cried my heart out to him. He gave me so much good advice and things to consider that I wish I could've recorded the whole conversation. I don't know why I hadn't called him sooner, because after the conversation I felt much better. I still don't have a decision but now I don't feel so pressured to make one. Like he simply said, "When you know, you'll know."
After making me well up by saying how much I reminded him of Mom (granted making me cry isn't hard as of late) he told me she had a saying: "You only get to fuck me over once." That is not an invitation to do so, nor is it a guarantee of forgiveness if fucking-over does occur... but it is a good thing to keep in mind if we decide to stay together.