On being a prideful square peg
One of the big decisions I have to make this year is if I am going to pursue qualification as an actual lawyer.
To recap, in these isles, you have to do a 2 year apprenticeship (called a training contract) with a law firm who at the end registers you as a qualified lawyer. No training contract, no qualification.
Step back another step and realise that most law graduates are around 21-25 and have very little real world experience. Therefore most of the application processes are geared toward these kinds of applicants.
I am effectively a square peg in a universe of round holes. Not to belabour the metaphor, but there are also considerably more round pegs for each round hole. A square pegs need not apply.
The frustrating thing is that when I talk to actual lawyers, they are very positive about my business experience and international education which they claim is a huge benefit. Then when I talk to the HR department who actually run the application processes they (at best) give me very confused looks and I have to justify myself. Applicants like me (even when encouraged to apply by the people who run the firms) make their jobs harder because they have to, I don't know, think a little.
There is a very sharp disconnect between what actual legal professionals say they want in terms of skills & background with what their HR departments are looking for.
So if I want to continue down this path I'm effectively going to totally revamp my application strategy and even still do A LOT of begging networking.
Oh yeah, and my visa would expire before the training contract would start and I only have about a 60% chance of getting it renewed.
On the other hand I have a job I'm good at, reasonably enjoy, serves a real need in the business, ties in fairly neatly with my ethics, that leverages nicely off my legal reasoning skills and I'm already well along the path for progression. The department head wants to keep me and even the Global General Counsel has said I have a place as long as I want to stay.
And is it really prudent at 31 to be starting again at the bottom of the pile, particularly if I have such a good thing going where I am?
But, but I still think I would be a great lawyer and past of me craves the admiration (and remuneration) that frequently comes with such a well recognised career. As well as the part of me that loathes admitting defeat. Surprise surprise - my pride is at stake.
But would it be worse to continue to try and continue to fail and in the meantime fritter away the progression that's immediately to hand - just there for the taking. Surely giving that up would be mad?
Or would I regret not qualifying forever?
I suppose this is just a long rambling way of saying I'm conflicted. But time is ticking and I really must decide soon.
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