Five Things
I haven't made a public post in like two months. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME, UGH.
Okay! I can get back in the habit. Five things!
1. I just got a new phone, and I haven't transferred my contacts yet. (The store offered to transfer my data, but I am never going to LEARN how to use the phone if I don't TRY, now am I?) So next time you text me, it would not hurt to remind me who you are. Because I will spend days talking to someone who I have no idea is because I don't want to awkwardly ask who it is. I AM EXACTLY THAT GUY.
The people at Best Buy were horrified by how long I've gone without upgrading my phone. They were like "Yeah, the Galaxy S2 is pretty obsolete now" and I had to explain that I actually had the Galaxy S and they looked just... baffled, like they were selling a phone to a unicorn. But I have the Galaxy S3 now and it's shiny and wonderful. And I bought a cheap case off the street so now I just need to start thinking about what AWESOME case I want to replace it in the next four weeks, and if I don't find anything, I'll just have to buy one at ComicCon.
2. BECAUSE COMIC CON IS IN LESS THAN A MONTH. Did everyone know that? I'd like to say I did not and it's a delightful surprise, but lolololol that is the opposite of true, I have been super stressed AND my primary fandom is going to be at SDCC, making this the first time that has happened since I started going in 2006. I am planning on overnighting on line, which I've never done but am kind of excited about TBH. SHIELD will be there! And Winter Soldier! If you follow me on Tumblr or Twitter you are likely aware that I have a lot of Winter Soldier feelings. I would estimate 70% of them are "NATASHA!" and another 20% are "OT3!" A part of me wants to be unspoiled so it can be magical and shiny but every single set photo posted makes me happy for DAYS so fuck being unspoiled, basically.
3. I have been collaging more, which is TERRIFYING, because clearly I do everything wrong and am ruining things, but I'm trying and I'm proud of myself for that at least. Comics are really good for this, because if I do destroy something I can get more, and the characters are pretty easy to reproduce in cardstock minimalist style, which is apparently my current style of choice.
I started to sketch out a larger collage, poster-sized, to take to SDCC, but I cannot figure out where I got it into my head that I WANT a poster for SDCC. Or what exactly I'd use it for. Or what exactly I'd do with it once I was done, really, because I am pretty terrible about throwing out old collages even though once I've finished them I have nothing to do with them and I imagine this would be even worse if it's poster-sized. But on the other hand, I really like the mental image I have of how it would look, and I couldn't do it 8x10 like I've been doing (my plan involves collaging the entire background with comics, and the struggle with small posters is that comic panels are too BIG), but I get frustrated when I don't know what to do with things.
And then there's the part where I'm trying to just stop my brain from running away with me and do what makes me happy, but since IDK what makes me happy, that's harder than it sounds.
4. I have like a dozen ideas for fic, but at this point I am weirdly self-conscious about how all of my internet names can be tied together, and have started thinking maybe if I set up a different name that's completely unconnected to me I will be more comfortable posting... anything that isn't appropriate for small children, basically. But then no one would KNOW so they wouldn't read it, and I don't have the most distinctive style but there's a limit to how many people are writing Natasha-centric fics all the time, and plus by saying it here I'm kind of negating how it would help ANYWAY? IDK.
But whatever, if I don't come up with anything I'll just keep all of my bizarre ideas in long email chains to
spicedrum. Problems could be far, far worse.
5. Big Brother starts up in less than a week, and I am excited, but... less than I thought I would be. BB is the perfect show when I have free time and can watch the feeds and come up with grandiose paper ideas. Now it just gives me Thoughts but I don't have the time to think them through, and and gets clogged with ideas about performativity and the nature of reality that I never fully formulate. So I haven't even looked at the cast yet, except to know Rachel's sister is on. Catching up is on my weekend to-do list, so possibly I'll have feelings this week. If not, I'm just going to play the odds and assume the bitchy bleached-blonde girl is my favorite.
I watched all of Elementary and loved it; &JOAN MOTHERFUCKING WATSON; and probably other people were there too but mostly &JOAN;. I am not thinking about it terribly much when it's not on my screen, but sometimes I think "you named a bee after me!" and I feel all fluffy, as good fannish things do.
I downloaded the first few episodes of Orphan Black; I really liked the first one, which is all I've watched so far, but it's kind of intense and I get really stressed waiting for people's bad choices to catch up with them. I'm leaning toward downloading Hannibal too, even though it seems triggery in about seventeen different ways, because I trust Bryan Fuller to make it worth it. I know this will end in tragedy, but... that's why we fandom, y'know?
As everyone else has a resurgence of Veronica Mars love, I'm feeling the rage resurfacing, which I am trying to keep to myself because I genuinely am happy for everyone who is squealing over the new information they keep sending out. I have had Rational Conversations With Myself, and I can accept the s1 finale (which still upsets me a lot, but I recognize that is largely because I fell hard for the show and got invested in themes I thought were there that actually weren't), but not for s3's rape apology. Everyone's excited Ryan Hansen's returning and I just want to all-caps marquee at them "THAT'S GREAT, HE'S A RAPIST AND I DON'T TRUST THEM TO HANDLE THAT." I think I'm partly just jealous of people whose love for the show isn't tainted. Then again, I bet that's how a lot of Lost fans feel about people like me.
Cross-posted at http://fox1013.dreamwidth.org/114694.html. Comment wherever you feel more comfortable.
Okay! I can get back in the habit. Five things!
1. I just got a new phone, and I haven't transferred my contacts yet. (The store offered to transfer my data, but I am never going to LEARN how to use the phone if I don't TRY, now am I?) So next time you text me, it would not hurt to remind me who you are. Because I will spend days talking to someone who I have no idea is because I don't want to awkwardly ask who it is. I AM EXACTLY THAT GUY.
The people at Best Buy were horrified by how long I've gone without upgrading my phone. They were like "Yeah, the Galaxy S2 is pretty obsolete now" and I had to explain that I actually had the Galaxy S and they looked just... baffled, like they were selling a phone to a unicorn. But I have the Galaxy S3 now and it's shiny and wonderful. And I bought a cheap case off the street so now I just need to start thinking about what AWESOME case I want to replace it in the next four weeks, and if I don't find anything, I'll just have to buy one at ComicCon.
2. BECAUSE COMIC CON IS IN LESS THAN A MONTH. Did everyone know that? I'd like to say I did not and it's a delightful surprise, but lolololol that is the opposite of true, I have been super stressed AND my primary fandom is going to be at SDCC, making this the first time that has happened since I started going in 2006. I am planning on overnighting on line, which I've never done but am kind of excited about TBH. SHIELD will be there! And Winter Soldier! If you follow me on Tumblr or Twitter you are likely aware that I have a lot of Winter Soldier feelings. I would estimate 70% of them are "NATASHA!" and another 20% are "OT3!" A part of me wants to be unspoiled so it can be magical and shiny but every single set photo posted makes me happy for DAYS so fuck being unspoiled, basically.
3. I have been collaging more, which is TERRIFYING, because clearly I do everything wrong and am ruining things, but I'm trying and I'm proud of myself for that at least. Comics are really good for this, because if I do destroy something I can get more, and the characters are pretty easy to reproduce in cardstock minimalist style, which is apparently my current style of choice.
I started to sketch out a larger collage, poster-sized, to take to SDCC, but I cannot figure out where I got it into my head that I WANT a poster for SDCC. Or what exactly I'd use it for. Or what exactly I'd do with it once I was done, really, because I am pretty terrible about throwing out old collages even though once I've finished them I have nothing to do with them and I imagine this would be even worse if it's poster-sized. But on the other hand, I really like the mental image I have of how it would look, and I couldn't do it 8x10 like I've been doing (my plan involves collaging the entire background with comics, and the struggle with small posters is that comic panels are too BIG), but I get frustrated when I don't know what to do with things.
And then there's the part where I'm trying to just stop my brain from running away with me and do what makes me happy, but since IDK what makes me happy, that's harder than it sounds.
4. I have like a dozen ideas for fic, but at this point I am weirdly self-conscious about how all of my internet names can be tied together, and have started thinking maybe if I set up a different name that's completely unconnected to me I will be more comfortable posting... anything that isn't appropriate for small children, basically. But then no one would KNOW so they wouldn't read it, and I don't have the most distinctive style but there's a limit to how many people are writing Natasha-centric fics all the time, and plus by saying it here I'm kind of negating how it would help ANYWAY? IDK.
But whatever, if I don't come up with anything I'll just keep all of my bizarre ideas in long email chains to
spicedrum. Problems could be far, far worse.
5. Big Brother starts up in less than a week, and I am excited, but... less than I thought I would be. BB is the perfect show when I have free time and can watch the feeds and come up with grandiose paper ideas. Now it just gives me Thoughts but I don't have the time to think them through, and and gets clogged with ideas about performativity and the nature of reality that I never fully formulate. So I haven't even looked at the cast yet, except to know Rachel's sister is on. Catching up is on my weekend to-do list, so possibly I'll have feelings this week. If not, I'm just going to play the odds and assume the bitchy bleached-blonde girl is my favorite.
I watched all of Elementary and loved it; &JOAN MOTHERFUCKING WATSON; and probably other people were there too but mostly &JOAN;. I am not thinking about it terribly much when it's not on my screen, but sometimes I think "you named a bee after me!" and I feel all fluffy, as good fannish things do.
I downloaded the first few episodes of Orphan Black; I really liked the first one, which is all I've watched so far, but it's kind of intense and I get really stressed waiting for people's bad choices to catch up with them. I'm leaning toward downloading Hannibal too, even though it seems triggery in about seventeen different ways, because I trust Bryan Fuller to make it worth it. I know this will end in tragedy, but... that's why we fandom, y'know?
As everyone else has a resurgence of Veronica Mars love, I'm feeling the rage resurfacing, which I am trying to keep to myself because I genuinely am happy for everyone who is squealing over the new information they keep sending out. I have had Rational Conversations With Myself, and I can accept the s1 finale (which still upsets me a lot, but I recognize that is largely because I fell hard for the show and got invested in themes I thought were there that actually weren't), but not for s3's rape apology. Everyone's excited Ryan Hansen's returning and I just want to all-caps marquee at them "THAT'S GREAT, HE'S A RAPIST AND I DON'T TRUST THEM TO HANDLE THAT." I think I'm partly just jealous of people whose love for the show isn't tainted. Then again, I bet that's how a lot of Lost fans feel about people like me.
Cross-posted at http://fox1013.dreamwidth.org/114694.html. Comment wherever you feel more comfortable.