day five
well its day five now & i dont want to get out of bed. this isnt due to abnormal fatigue or weakness, but rather
a) because my bed is effing amazing
b) because i had great dreams last night & dont want them to end
& c) because classes start tomorrow & i wont be able to sleep in ever again
day four rocked. i had so much energy, felt so amazing. i woke up thinking "ive never felt so well in my life".
the problem is temptation. last night ashley brought over this delicious-looking chocolate cake & wine & then tempted me all night which is not cool. but im past the hunger point & know from here on out its just making it through the next five & a half days.
i really really want this. i feel really really well. i am gaining an awareness of my body ive never experienced before & i love it.
everyones been telling me to end the fast tonight. they say i cant do it with school. though the first week of school is rarely anything worth stressing about. minus paying tuition, of course. which i still have no idea how im going to come up with $1000 in like a week, but somehow it will work out. i dont know how. but somehow it will.
buuut i was talking to sam last night about it & he says "i think you should do what you want." it was the first time a friend in person has wholeheartedly supported me. it felt really good. especially after the lecture i got from ashley about how i was secretly trying to be anorexic. missing the point, ash. missing the point entirely. but whatever. i know what this is about. i know why im doing it. & im going to succeed.
so yay. go me for making the halfway point (almost). i can do this. i know i can.
a) because my bed is effing amazing
b) because i had great dreams last night & dont want them to end
& c) because classes start tomorrow & i wont be able to sleep in ever again
day four rocked. i had so much energy, felt so amazing. i woke up thinking "ive never felt so well in my life".
the problem is temptation. last night ashley brought over this delicious-looking chocolate cake & wine & then tempted me all night which is not cool. but im past the hunger point & know from here on out its just making it through the next five & a half days.
i really really want this. i feel really really well. i am gaining an awareness of my body ive never experienced before & i love it.
everyones been telling me to end the fast tonight. they say i cant do it with school. though the first week of school is rarely anything worth stressing about. minus paying tuition, of course. which i still have no idea how im going to come up with $1000 in like a week, but somehow it will work out. i dont know how. but somehow it will.
buuut i was talking to sam last night about it & he says "i think you should do what you want." it was the first time a friend in person has wholeheartedly supported me. it felt really good. especially after the lecture i got from ashley about how i was secretly trying to be anorexic. missing the point, ash. missing the point entirely. but whatever. i know what this is about. i know why im doing it. & im going to succeed.
so yay. go me for making the halfway point (almost). i can do this. i know i can.