(no subject)
it's over
did it over the phone
it's over.
yes, i'd rather go to the farmers' market than go to your place. deal with it.
anyway i left him a message saying my piece since he couldn't fathom that i'd "rather go to a vegetable store than talk about our relationship" so i told him in the message that yes, i wanted more individuality, that's where we differed. i just wish that any time he hears an opinion he doesn't like he'd hear it out instead of hanging up. I got yelled at to listen to him every time, but he won't listen to me. oh well. he can't get out of bed because he drank so much last night, so i have to go to his place? and i have other plans to DO stuff today so he can't deal with that?
so he goes "you'd rather buy vegetables than talk about our relationship?" and i go "well, now that it's over, y--" and he goes "you said it." click.
so hey, he gave me that.
--later--
and then he called and we talked for 45 minutes about fixing things, what went wrong, and until the end of the talk I think he thought we were going to be together, just working on fixing things. I told him he needed to change for himself, not me, and that I wanted to help him, just not as a girlfriend. And he says we're going to get together for lunch next week. I want that. I care about him too much to cast him adrift. And I'm having doubts about doing this. He does want to change and he is going to make big changes.
BUT, I have to tell myself, BUT: he has to make those changes on his own, without relying on anyone else. I'm his anchor....
God, it kills me to stop being his support. He is going to learn things. He is going to change. Here is what I wanted from the start, here is the chance to go through this tunnel, right, which I was looking forward to coming out the other side saying "Look what I did."
Did I back out too early? If he gets help to stop acting bipolar I'm sure he'd be much better to be around. He's going to get better.
Isn't he?
If he does, he knows where to find me. And I want to help him along the way. I just can't sacrifice my whole life to him the way (he claims) he did for me.
p.s. why the fuck is my internet so fucking slow?
did it over the phone
it's over.
yes, i'd rather go to the farmers' market than go to your place. deal with it.
anyway i left him a message saying my piece since he couldn't fathom that i'd "rather go to a vegetable store than talk about our relationship" so i told him in the message that yes, i wanted more individuality, that's where we differed. i just wish that any time he hears an opinion he doesn't like he'd hear it out instead of hanging up. I got yelled at to listen to him every time, but he won't listen to me. oh well. he can't get out of bed because he drank so much last night, so i have to go to his place? and i have other plans to DO stuff today so he can't deal with that?
so he goes "you'd rather buy vegetables than talk about our relationship?" and i go "well, now that it's over, y--" and he goes "you said it." click.
so hey, he gave me that.
--later--
and then he called and we talked for 45 minutes about fixing things, what went wrong, and until the end of the talk I think he thought we were going to be together, just working on fixing things. I told him he needed to change for himself, not me, and that I wanted to help him, just not as a girlfriend. And he says we're going to get together for lunch next week. I want that. I care about him too much to cast him adrift. And I'm having doubts about doing this. He does want to change and he is going to make big changes.
BUT, I have to tell myself, BUT: he has to make those changes on his own, without relying on anyone else. I'm his anchor....
God, it kills me to stop being his support. He is going to learn things. He is going to change. Here is what I wanted from the start, here is the chance to go through this tunnel, right, which I was looking forward to coming out the other side saying "Look what I did."
Did I back out too early? If he gets help to stop acting bipolar I'm sure he'd be much better to be around. He's going to get better.
Isn't he?
If he does, he knows where to find me. And I want to help him along the way. I just can't sacrifice my whole life to him the way (he claims) he did for me.
p.s. why the fuck is my internet so fucking slow?