we'll embrace in that shangri-la
had to take a break to update after grinding my teeth over a dispute on linguaphiles over "usefulness" of languages, and why or why not children should be taught minority, "useless" languages. I couldn't stand it any longer. This entry serves as a vent to all my stress.
another mother-effingly frustrating row this morning (by the way, ellen announced lineups for saturday's race yesterday.... i'm in the 2nd boat. these lineups are almost entirely based on the last 6k, and that pisses me off. when i'm well, i'm better than that AND SHE KNOWS IT. on the other hand, we do have five girls competing for three seats -- me, eve, jamie, gelman, and maria all pull or will pull comparable times.) anyway, the first half of the row was great because it was a clear indication which pairs were more effective in which boat. we rowed by pairs and leapfrogged with the other boat the entire time; their stern pair was stronger, but our bow pair always caught up and walked. I even managed to drop my inside shoulder for some strokes! I've been working on that since the start of last fall.
but then we went back by all fours. the set was shit, the timing was off, I felt like I had no control at all, and I love Maria as a person and I love sitting in front of her but I don't like following her. she lunges at the catch. i think i've been spoiled by stroking.
the rigger was loose the whole time, and I kept checking the oarlock & topbolt to no avail, cause it was the nuts that were falling off.
the upside? i got out some frustration by pulling some very hard strokes while everyone else was at steady state. my ca-klunk finishes, though technically not good, helped the set. and our ten high at the very end did feel good, which just made me all the more frustrated. I dunno.
so I came back, had yogurt, and went to sleep on the couch for almost two hours. thankfully, I've not felt sicker after this nap (knock on freaking wood). Had a nightmare about CRI being all restructured, me getting lost, accidentally stepping onto a speedboat that carried a sheik, and the man sitting next to me... pinching me? until I started crying because it hurt, and talking about pieces I didn't want to hear about. So I punched him several times and ran away (by this time we were inside a CVS), worried that the surveillance camera at CVS had caught me. That's when I ran back to CRI and couldn't find any of my stuff, freaked out because my phone was in my bag and not on me, so the girls would be freaking out because they couldn't get ahold of me.
Finally found them and was pulled into a room to put together senior collages, until I yelled at Sara B because they were supposed to be secret from the seniors, let alone giving me MY OWN collage to do! I pulled Sarah R out of there and we went away.
When I was bumming around the new CRI lockers, the guy I'd assaulted approached me and shook my hand and apologized. I also apologized for punching him. He offered me a conciliatory gift; I think it was a sports top. Then he started leering and I ran back away, washing my hands within his sight while never looking at him, which offended him.
Then I had another dream, that I hadn't woken up from the nap until 7pm and had to be at the gym to do a land workout, but I was dressed in regular clothes and got laughed at. Also, I thought it was compulsory, but the only people I saw there were some novice girls from last year or the year before, and Sharon leading them. And by sleeping until 7, I'd missed the second workout today, which Ellen stressed was very important to do.
Then Lynn's phone (left in the common room) woke me up. I realized that it'd only been a dream that I slept so long and was relieved.
Happier news.... I got my GRE scores back in the mail yesterday. The analytical essay, that I told y'all I was sure I'd pwned? Top score. 6.0 out of 6.0. It justifies my feelings that occasionally when I think I have done well, I actually have.
In the evening, I went to Nomi's with 2seat -- her class on Justice Louis, instead of having a class session, was urged to learn something new, so she came to a cappella office hours and learned about arranging. And Nomi helped me with a bunch of theory bits, voice leading, and jiggling around parts. Then I got to see 2seat's place, which is lovely and classy. And I went to bed with enough time for 6 1/2 hours of sleep.
Today: resume, GRE study, and some research into grad schools. I think the Hiatt grad school fair is next week, so I should definitely find the ones I want to get the most info about before I show up there.
Some day, I really do want to write an article to send into Rowing News, on the same subject as that entry I made the first day back on the water. Every issue, they publish a one-page non-staff article at the end of the issue. I think that subject would have a chance.
Also, I could look at it after a bad row and remember why I do it.
Can anyone point me to a free photo-touchup program? I have soiree photos, but they are all dark becase the flash on my ancient camera (it's something like four years old) sucks.
another mother-effingly frustrating row this morning (by the way, ellen announced lineups for saturday's race yesterday.... i'm in the 2nd boat. these lineups are almost entirely based on the last 6k, and that pisses me off. when i'm well, i'm better than that AND SHE KNOWS IT. on the other hand, we do have five girls competing for three seats -- me, eve, jamie, gelman, and maria all pull or will pull comparable times.) anyway, the first half of the row was great because it was a clear indication which pairs were more effective in which boat. we rowed by pairs and leapfrogged with the other boat the entire time; their stern pair was stronger, but our bow pair always caught up and walked. I even managed to drop my inside shoulder for some strokes! I've been working on that since the start of last fall.
but then we went back by all fours. the set was shit, the timing was off, I felt like I had no control at all, and I love Maria as a person and I love sitting in front of her but I don't like following her. she lunges at the catch. i think i've been spoiled by stroking.
the rigger was loose the whole time, and I kept checking the oarlock & topbolt to no avail, cause it was the nuts that were falling off.
the upside? i got out some frustration by pulling some very hard strokes while everyone else was at steady state. my ca-klunk finishes, though technically not good, helped the set. and our ten high at the very end did feel good, which just made me all the more frustrated. I dunno.
so I came back, had yogurt, and went to sleep on the couch for almost two hours. thankfully, I've not felt sicker after this nap (knock on freaking wood). Had a nightmare about CRI being all restructured, me getting lost, accidentally stepping onto a speedboat that carried a sheik, and the man sitting next to me... pinching me? until I started crying because it hurt, and talking about pieces I didn't want to hear about. So I punched him several times and ran away (by this time we were inside a CVS), worried that the surveillance camera at CVS had caught me. That's when I ran back to CRI and couldn't find any of my stuff, freaked out because my phone was in my bag and not on me, so the girls would be freaking out because they couldn't get ahold of me.
Finally found them and was pulled into a room to put together senior collages, until I yelled at Sara B because they were supposed to be secret from the seniors, let alone giving me MY OWN collage to do! I pulled Sarah R out of there and we went away.
When I was bumming around the new CRI lockers, the guy I'd assaulted approached me and shook my hand and apologized. I also apologized for punching him. He offered me a conciliatory gift; I think it was a sports top. Then he started leering and I ran back away, washing my hands within his sight while never looking at him, which offended him.
Then I had another dream, that I hadn't woken up from the nap until 7pm and had to be at the gym to do a land workout, but I was dressed in regular clothes and got laughed at. Also, I thought it was compulsory, but the only people I saw there were some novice girls from last year or the year before, and Sharon leading them. And by sleeping until 7, I'd missed the second workout today, which Ellen stressed was very important to do.
Then Lynn's phone (left in the common room) woke me up. I realized that it'd only been a dream that I slept so long and was relieved.
Happier news.... I got my GRE scores back in the mail yesterday. The analytical essay, that I told y'all I was sure I'd pwned? Top score. 6.0 out of 6.0. It justifies my feelings that occasionally when I think I have done well, I actually have.
In the evening, I went to Nomi's with 2seat -- her class on Justice Louis, instead of having a class session, was urged to learn something new, so she came to a cappella office hours and learned about arranging. And Nomi helped me with a bunch of theory bits, voice leading, and jiggling around parts. Then I got to see 2seat's place, which is lovely and classy. And I went to bed with enough time for 6 1/2 hours of sleep.
Today: resume, GRE study, and some research into grad schools. I think the Hiatt grad school fair is next week, so I should definitely find the ones I want to get the most info about before I show up there.
Some day, I really do want to write an article to send into Rowing News, on the same subject as that entry I made the first day back on the water. Every issue, they publish a one-page non-staff article at the end of the issue. I think that subject would have a chance.
Also, I could look at it after a bad row and remember why I do it.
Can anyone point me to a free photo-touchup program? I have soiree photos, but they are all dark becase the flash on my ancient camera (it's something like four years old) sucks.