open letter to the world
Dear friends, family and professors:
I know I've fucked myself over royally, okay? If you all would give me enough time to hate myself for it rather than nagging and slagging and hating me, I'd have a chance to feel like shit and change.
But as it is, you see, all I can do is try miserably to defend myself. Because what else can I do? I will lean backwards for you all, I will break my back in a million tiny pieces, and tell you that yes, I done fucked up. And then what good does that do after we've acknowledged this?
The only thing I have left to do is to make the best of the chances I've left for myself.
So Mom, I know why you're angry. I'm killing myself about it over here, too. If you don't talk to me all summer, so be it. But I'm going to do long-distance research.
(ah, LJ. Bastion of everything perfect for the passive-aggressive.)
I know I've fucked myself over royally, okay? If you all would give me enough time to hate myself for it rather than nagging and slagging and hating me, I'd have a chance to feel like shit and change.
But as it is, you see, all I can do is try miserably to defend myself. Because what else can I do? I will lean backwards for you all, I will break my back in a million tiny pieces, and tell you that yes, I done fucked up. And then what good does that do after we've acknowledged this?
The only thing I have left to do is to make the best of the chances I've left for myself.
So Mom, I know why you're angry. I'm killing myself about it over here, too. If you don't talk to me all summer, so be it. But I'm going to do long-distance research.
(ah, LJ. Bastion of everything perfect for the passive-aggressive.)