how could i
do this to myself? I was at my lowest this year (117.2) on saturday... but it is now Tuesday...and i am a distgusting worthless weak piece of shittttttttttt. i am 126 / how the fuck did i manage to gain 8.8 fucking lbs in like 4 days? mind you, i ate a shitload today, so im sure some of that weight is food and water in my fat pregnant-looking stomach. I promised myself taht i would be 115 by this sunday when i go on vacation but i dont see that happening now. UNLESS i can get rid of this 9 pounds in 4 days. yesss good luck with that, fattie. 2 lbs a day HAH! well tomorrow i have to cut the grass (40 mins) and walk to work (45 mins) then work ( 5 hours ) and if i have less than 3 hundred cals a day ... i work 5 hours wed, thurs. and 8 hrs Fri, Sat and another 5 on Sun. im sure i cant make it to 115 but if i can get back to 117 then i will be happy; i guess. wow. its like i just have been unceasely shovelling my face with food for the last 4 days! i have no conscience. tahts why i hate going to my dads! theres so much disgusting temptation food and i cant help myself. I think part of my weakness is becaause i #1 forgot my scale, #2 my dad has only one mirror in the house (only shows shoulders and up so i couldnt look at myself ) and he only has a tv ( no comp or anything to do to distract me!!!! ) so i just sat on my ass and watched tv (which makes me hungry!!!!!!!!) so im going to my dads tomorrow until sunday.... even though i work everyday...which gets me out of the house and is obvioulsy a distraction... i have 4 new books to read and i will have my scale so whenever i want to eat i will just get on that scale to motivate me. fuckkk............I WAS DOING SO WELL THIS IS SO FUCKING FRUSTURATIING!
I WANT TO BE SKINNY
NEED TO BE 105 BY THE START OF SCHOOL.
FUCK
I WANT TO BE SKINNY
NEED TO BE 105 BY THE START OF SCHOOL.
FUCK