sleep walk with me
i don't sleep. well, i sleep, but i don't sleep well. i don't know if i ever have. as far as i can tell, it started in 1975 when my folks bought me a small b&w tv for my bedroom. i was hooked that very night when i stayed up to watch johnny carson, and i've been a night owl ever since. my dad caught me watching tv one night. he saw the glow under the door, so he came in the room and shut me down. i missed my tube. the next night, i pulled my blanket over the tv, put a book on it (a special book, too...someone remind me to tell that story later), and watched carson again. i stayed up until the end, the blanket masking the glow so my dad couldn't see it.
i think it was about one year later, and i was still staying up late. the hardest part was getting through the local evening news. have you ever known a 5 year old to like the news? i was no exception. this time, my dad heard the tv. i don't remember why he heard it, but he did, and he came back in the room and shut me down again. the next day, i was rummaging out in the garage and i found a small ear-speaker from my dad's transistor radio. he always called it his "transistorized ra-day-didio". i smile still when i think about that. so i swiped the little ear-bud, and kept my blanket, and i was back in business. no light, no sound, i thought i was engaging in the perfect crime. and at the wise age of five, i discovered i was a little techno-junkie too.
30 years later, i am still staying up late. it's like i can't shut the melon down, no matter how tired i am. i end up turning in at 3:00 in the morning, then get up at 7:00 for work. i sleep at my desk sometimes, but nobody knows because i can fake work while sleeping (read how i do this: http://www.livejournal.com/users/fourfacets/1508.html). i drink too much coffee, and smoke too much pot, but sometimes, i smoke too much pot, and drink too much coffee.
only other insomniacs understand what it's like to walk around all day, and feel like your soul is 10 feet behind your body, getting dragged around by a thin rope of consciousness. sometimes, when i do sleep, i'm accompanied by lucid nightmares...usually falling. my brain works to unburden itself from 20 hours of activity, weed, and caffeine. i don't try to analyze my dreams though. i don't need anyone to tell me how crazy they are. they're mine, and i know.
people tell me that i need to sleep more, or it will shorten my lifespan. the way i see it, we're all hard-wired to experience X amount of conscious hours. i might die young, but i'll have just as many conscious hours as any old man. i don't worry about it. there will be plenty of time for sleep when i'm dead.
i think it was about one year later, and i was still staying up late. the hardest part was getting through the local evening news. have you ever known a 5 year old to like the news? i was no exception. this time, my dad heard the tv. i don't remember why he heard it, but he did, and he came back in the room and shut me down again. the next day, i was rummaging out in the garage and i found a small ear-speaker from my dad's transistor radio. he always called it his "transistorized ra-day-didio". i smile still when i think about that. so i swiped the little ear-bud, and kept my blanket, and i was back in business. no light, no sound, i thought i was engaging in the perfect crime. and at the wise age of five, i discovered i was a little techno-junkie too.
30 years later, i am still staying up late. it's like i can't shut the melon down, no matter how tired i am. i end up turning in at 3:00 in the morning, then get up at 7:00 for work. i sleep at my desk sometimes, but nobody knows because i can fake work while sleeping (read how i do this: http://www.livejournal.com/users/fourfacets/1508.html). i drink too much coffee, and smoke too much pot, but sometimes, i smoke too much pot, and drink too much coffee.
only other insomniacs understand what it's like to walk around all day, and feel like your soul is 10 feet behind your body, getting dragged around by a thin rope of consciousness. sometimes, when i do sleep, i'm accompanied by lucid nightmares...usually falling. my brain works to unburden itself from 20 hours of activity, weed, and caffeine. i don't try to analyze my dreams though. i don't need anyone to tell me how crazy they are. they're mine, and i know.
people tell me that i need to sleep more, or it will shorten my lifespan. the way i see it, we're all hard-wired to experience X amount of conscious hours. i might die young, but i'll have just as many conscious hours as any old man. i don't worry about it. there will be plenty of time for sleep when i'm dead.