Glee Reviews: Showmance
So I've written another review! Once again, I encourage you to let me know things you've noticed, stuff you liked or disagree with, anything. I love talking!
So Will pulls up to incredibly upbeat music- I don’t know about you, but it brings to mind casinos to me. His muffler is still dragging (Do cops EXIST in this verse?), and as he walks up to WMHS, he is bombarded by his students, all of whom are superficially happier- Rachel and Finn have a cute moment, Artie, Tina, and Mercedes are all hanging out together, and ickle Kurt is making more friends!
Oh wait, that’s not it at all. Rachel spent last episode saying if Glee is a waste of her time, she’ll quit. She clearly thinks not singing lead is a waste of time, so Will shuts down her singing lead because… I guess he didn’t understand what was going on. Color me surprised. Artie, Tina, and Mercedes… what exactly has changed for them? Artie and Tina were hanging out in canon already via signups, and they all already liked singing… So Will has so far done jack for them. Even less for Kurt, who is still getting dumpster tossed, and Will is still not seeing it.
Let’s add the fact that Will almost abandoned these kids, and his big triumphant feels like a winner moment is… not abandoning them?
Seriously?
So I’m going to ask a question- Why is the music so happy? We just saw for ourselves the results of Pilot- Nothing has changed. Will has done nothing for these kids, so… why are we so happy?
The correct answer is: We’re not. We’re supposed to think that we are, though. Because Will thinks we are.
Continue on with your A-Game, Glee.
We cut to the outdoor walkway of season 1, which is hardly used anymore, more’s the pity because I liked it. Will is wearing a periwinkle sweater, which I am noting for other reasons later, but also because he matches Emma here, which is… I don’t know. The way it plays out here is vaguely creepy- as if Emma planned for them to match,which means she had to have seen the outfit before now which means she’s been spying on Will? Or maybe I’m overthinking things. Still, considering how often we catch her staring at Will this episode, and how Ken calls her on this exact thing… I’m not putting it past the show.
Emma engineers a bit of meet cute, because she has it BAD for Will, and Will thanks her for stopping him from quitting (Which hey, didn’t the kids do that?), and they are breathy and adorable and it’s actually really cute. It’s cut super short by Santana and Quinn walking up and being blatantly disrespectful to the teachers here (Which absolutely wouldn’t fly in a school IRL, natch), and we get our segue into Sue’s office.
She’s “blasting her hammies”, and then offering Will iron tablets to keep his strength up. She proceeds to condescend to Will about how much it must hurt to have that arrangement with Figgins. Will assures her he’s going to be fine, and Sue utterly schools him by telling him he needs six more kids, why don’t you read rules Will?
Seriously, this is a big moment for Will as an educator. Why didn’t you read the rules Will? Do you think the rules don’t apply to you? Now someone might point out a “How could he have known”, and I could give you that- this school doesn’t care about this particular extracurricular, Will’s predecessor was fired before he took the job, the only kid explicitly from the group from before was Rachel, and she would only care about getting to sing solos.
So I can give you he doesn’t know right now. But what about later? Sue continues to surprise him with rules from that rulebook throughout season 1. Will has every reason to have read the rulebook, especially since Sue’s just pointed out one of possibly many ways he’s not qualified to compete. She does so in Throwdown. She does so in Mattress. WHY DON’T YOU READ THE RULEBOOK WILL.
Here’s my interpretation (Pretty way of saying my fanon/assumption): Because Will is not a good teacher. Which is actually the assumption this whole review series will work on, so get used to it here.
To be fair, Sue isn’t looking to rosy here either, what with the “Cripples aren’t real people” remark, but she’s intentionally being shown as the villain right now (And later on is shown to say many, many things disingenuously). But Will is our protagonist. Now I understand this is a common literary technique- Will’s the newcomer, so we have to explain really basic things to him so that the audience can also be told these things. I get that. I also get that Will flat out doesn’t learn.
We start seeing a bit of Sue characterization (And 7 episodes later isn’t a huge stretch, people, I’m pretty sure the arc of the front 9 was planned out already because there was the possibility of the show ending there), where she has a handy dandy list of Special Ed Classes.
You realize that WMHS has had their Special Ed department cut as of season 3? Sue doesn’t give us an actual context as to when, either. So what are the odds that these Special Ed Classes even are at WMHS?
Time and distance have turned this from a one-off for the sake of a cruel joke moment into something different- Given her relationship with Becky, and her soft spot for Artie (She buys the ramps for him in Wheels, her conversations with him in Extraordinary Merry Christmas and Yes/No), and her renewed focus on Special Ed classes during her campaign, it’s not even a stretch to think that she mentors and watches out for students with disabilities in some manner or another (Though since it’s Sue, she’s not likely to be particularly nice about it).
Food for thought, at least.
Sue offers Will the ability to be her lackey (Something she only gives to people she respects- She constantly tells Quinn how much “Sue she C’s” in her, and let’s be real: Becky is so HBIC it hurts. Santana is just as harsh and direct as Sue is. This is also something interesting. Especially since as the series goes on, she loses any and all respect for Will. Hmmm…), which Will declines. He tells her she’s used to being the cock of the walk, but that he’s here to stay, with the implicit threat that now Will and Glee will be the cock of the walk, and can I have some feels about this too? Honestly, these first 5 minutes are very, very dense with stuff to discuss.
Cock of the walk originates from c. 1850. It refers to a rooster’s strutting about the barnyard- they look prideful and have a distinctive gait, something someone somewhere linked to leadership and the rest is history. There’s all sorts of things wrapped up in this, but it being offensive is, if anything, incidental- the phrase evolved etymologically from an animal (Albeit a male one, but that’s of no consequence here) and how it walks. It in no way has to do with dudes being on top (Only it kind of does, considering it’s dude roosters- you see how this phrase is a bit problematic, only not, only it is, only opinions proliferate in abundance). Will uses it, someone calls him on his offensive language, and… nothing. Will continues to soldier on.
Let’s get on to the lesson this episode gives: Communication. This is the third moment in a row of Will just flat out missing the whole point of things going on around him- He doesn’t see that the kids still have shitty lives, he doesn’t see Emma and her admittedly kind of iffy behavior, he doesn’t see anything he’s said to Sue as problematic despite her clearly commenting on it.
Will is TERRIBLE at communication.
(That last point was actually a general politeness thing- if I don’t like the word cromulent, and ask you to stop using it, that’s the polite thing to do. Doing otherwise shows a lack of respect. Which again, interesting- we now know that Will doesn’t respect Sue, yet Sue actually DOES respect Will in her own weird way. And even if you don’t buy my underlings theory, Sue’s still keeping up a veneer of kindness with Will, something she doesn’t do with anyone else)
Let’s see how his kids do.
We cut to the hallway where Quinn is berating Finn for joining Glee as it will hurt their rep. She’s mad because it’s ruining her shot at some shiny crowns, getting in the way of her ambition. Finn tells her she’s making this into a thing when it’s totally not a thing, which doesn’t open up the discourse any AT ALL, but Quinn counters with her own discourse closer: Sex. So we have Finn gaslighting Quinn and Quinn tempting Finn. Guys? You’re both being horrible at communication.
Given that you’re teen Will and Terri (Quinn thankfully grows out of this, kind of, though the parallels in season 2 still exist- Terri’s covering up her crazy, as is Quinn, Terri comes back into prominence at the end of Season 2, when Finn and Quinn get back together), this is not surprising.
So Rachel is just casually standing there listening in, and I can’t even. She’s terrible at being a creeper. Finn continues to sound like an adorable child (“I really want to do Glee, I’m really happy when I’m performing”), and Quinn tells him that word on the street is that he’s gay, and that Quinn is his beard. Finn can’t even deal with this right now, so he… bails. The first and mildest of Finn’s problems with being called gay.
With no Finn to try and convince, Quinn sets her sights on Rachel. She calls her out on her terrible spying, insinuates that she’s a man (AGAIN. Between this and the pornographic pictures, my F13 Faberry ship goggles are working overtime.), and tells Rachel to step off her man, as he’s hers. Rachel puts on the cast condescension hat to tell Quinn that’s Finn and her have made a connection, but Rachel is FAR TOO HONORABLE to try and steal Finn.
Let’s check back on this plotline later in the episode, shall we?
Rachel tries to get the last word, but she gets slushied because this club can’t win, at least not this early on. Maybe not even ever, but that’s a conversation for another day.
We cut to the Glee Club practicing Le Freak, which is a disco song… talking about how awesome disco is. Will is transparent like sheet glass (HE’S the one who should have sung Mr. Cellophane). Rachel tries to put too much grease into it and almost kicks Mercedes in the head. Mercedes is having none of that, and starts her trend of shaking that weave and taking no sass from nobody one second and being… well… not, the very next second. She opens with her patented “AW HELL TO THE NO” and threatens to cut Rachel (That… is possibly the most stereotypical, divorced from reality dialogue I’ve heard on this show, though I’m sure as I relive it, there will be other lines), and then turns on her heels to tell will that “Also? This song? Is terrible”, which isn’t all that sassy so much as honest.
Will immediately tries to shift the blame onto the kids (“It’s not the song, you guys just aren’t getting it”), and isn’t that a great communication method? A great teaching method? I wasn’t wrong, you are. It’s not my fault you don’t get my artistic genius!
Grow up Will.
Kurt says it’s not them, it’s the song, which is, and I quote, “Really gay”. And for just one second, can I say that having people be intrinsically, ironically awful about things that they should have a vested interest in being a thing all the way from the start of the show? Kurt doesn’t understand what it means to live with being gay yet. Kurt doesn’t yet know how hurtful that phrase is, he’s using it for a purpose, yes, but he doesn’t understand it. Why was it awesome when they did it in season 1, but it’s “bad writing” now? How is Bieste laughing at Kurt not being masculine onstage any different from Kurt calling something “really gay”? Eh, two cents, let’s get this review moving, shall we?
Artie asks for modern music, but Will will brook no argument- they’re doing this song at the Pep assembly on Friday, and, Will? Have you never been the director of an arts group? Why would you only just now tell your kids that you have a performance at the end of the week? Why would you not get their input on what they should perform? Will, have you read the rulebook? Why haven’t you read the rulebook?
Will doesn’t understand that his kids are panicking, even after Kurt and Rachel make it explicit, Will gets to tell us how he “can’t express to [them]” just what the assembly is going to mean- They need six recruits, and Will, despite being told that these kids are school bottomfeeders, are going to attract some more friends with music that their peers think is stupid, or “gay”, as Kurt has so eloquently put it for us. But that’s not what Rachel cares about. She cares about how Finn is having a massive, silent freak out next to her. Will snots something about how this worked out for him, and- isn’t that his line of thinking forever- that of course it’ll work for them.
We get a nice scene of Will and Terri house shopping, right before we flash back to Will’s apartment where we meet Kendra, Terri’s sister WHO IS FANTASTIC. Seriously, she’s hilarious for one reason- her ignorance is astounding. I think the inclusion of her really hurt the show, because it made everyone focus on how awful she was instead of how awful EVERYONE is, but she has some of the best oneliners, gets our plot rolling, and exemplifies exactly how fucked up Lima is- All the adults we’ve seen so far in story are HORRIBLE, and Burt not being horrible is such a curveball that I don’t even. But in comparison to her, Will and Terri look positively normal, and that’s why she exists.
Kendra’s kids aren’t very well behaved, and it’s driving Will crazy. Kendra talks Terri into buying a new house while Will screams at the screaming children, because stooping to someone else’s level is also Will’s specialty, even if they’re kids. We smear back to the present, where apparently child labor from Ecuador is a good thing (Lima, Ohio: Distopia), Terri thinks girls and gay boys are exactly the same, and Sophie’s choice is many things, Terri, but not this. Will decides to get a part-time job to help pay for everything, and, okay, maybe I’m not worldly because I’ve never heard any adult in real life attempt to get a part-time jobe, but I have watched A LOT of television, and the only ones who say it THERE are teenagers. So show, why are we making Will sound like a teenager? Eh? Eh?
We cut to the choir room, where Kurt and Mercedes are being actualfax adorable and Finn is having trouble tying his shoes. Um. (In fact, pay attention to the blurred out Finn once Rachel’s staring thing starts happening, and you’ll see him SMILE AND NOD WHEN HE GETS IT RIGHT) Sometimes I wonder about Finn.
Mr. Schuester comes in and tells them that they’re going to sing some Kanye, but not for the assembly, even though that’s all the kids care about right now. He then follows this up with how communication is key, and he’s totally listening to the kids (In every way but the one that matters). He then ignores what Artie is saying to drive home how noncommunicatie he’s being, and tells Finn he’ll take the solo. Finn mumbles about how he can’t, so Mr. Schue decides it’s appropriate for him to sing it. You know, as a teacher. Hi, have you met Artie? Why aren’t you giving him the rap part?
He asks Mercedes if she knows this (Of course Will would), to which she replies that she’s got this. Let me be frank- this is never the kind of song that Mercedes sings content-wise, and only barely her style. It’s way more Artie’s speed (Thankfully the kids know what they’re doing- Artie takes over the Jamie Foxx part a bit further in), but you know Will- Mercedes is our resident black girl, so all black music passes through her. Mercedes busts some windows out your car with her sweet tunes, and we get a shocked face by Rachel- she’s clearly never heard Mercedes do anything but harmonize.
So let’s recap that- The first time Will lets Mercedes sing anything on lead is when it’s “her” music. She’s clearly talented, but this is how Will chooses to notice her? Only in this context? And it’s not just this once- Will has to find things for her to dip in chocolate, Will gives her parts in Proud Mary, The minute she asks for “Blacker” music, she gets a full-fledged solo.
I’d play up the Diva too.
Also, upon relisten, this song is… way more fitting. And I actually think it’s about Quinn. Keeping in mind that this song was intended for Finn, and of course it’s also about Terri and Will, but… think about it. Our Quinn moment this episode wasn’t about how she was worried about Finn’s rep, it was about him quitting saving HER rep. Well, his rep that she’s using. Now I’m not saying she’s after his popularity, but she ain’t messing with no unpopular kid. And of course this song is also about Babygate. “Got one of your kids, got you for eighteen years.”
We end the number with a jovial “From the top!” from Will, and we cut to the ladies room , where Emma catches Rachel trying to throw up. A quick one liner about blowjobs and visual gag about serious issues later (Glee is still funny, even if I wouldn’t necessarily call it a comedy), we have Emma asking Rachel what’s going on with her. Whilst ogling Will. Focus, Emms.
She pulls it around by being a semi-good counselor here (Mostly because when the issues hit too close to home, Emma can’t handle it very well). She tells Rachel that she needs to protect her heart and go after guys who appreciate her (PREACH), suggests developing common interests.
Rachel of course completely misses the point (OMG, Carousel Horse sweater, let me love you. I can’t wait for Comeback), and lands herself and Finn in Figgins’s office. We are led to believe sex, but… okay, I would not put that past this show AT ALL, but at this point when I first saw it I was like PFFT EUPHEMISMS.
H’okay, so. Finn and Rachel made copies on the Cheerios photocopier machine, Sue wants justice. She gets 76.5 cents. In the means of it, Sue is inappropriate, and Will is being sexist, according to Sue. At the end the kids try to talk to Will, and Will tries to shut down the discourse, not once, but three times. (I do love the “EVERYBODY LOVES DISCO” line) Because there is no kill like overkill, Will.
Rachel tries to make Finn feel better, and it totally works. Sensing an in, she asks him if he wants to practice with her, but he bails for Celibacy club. And this is when Rachel thinks back to talking to Emma.
Will and Terri are having a joint bath (And not the sexy kind), when Will drops the bomb about not being able to find work. Terri goes on a spiel about how she deserves to want things, how she earned things, and honestly, if I were dealing with someone like this in my life, it’d make me afraid to want things too. I kind of see how Will got to how he is now, with scenes like this. We then cut to Figgins scraping up protein shake, and Will being a scab (Figgins: It is NEVER Lupus). Money plot is back on track.
The Celibacy club! Oh god. This club reads as a gross cross-section of pretty much any gender/sex discussion on the internet, only it removes all the intelligent, cogent arguments and just shoved some LOL TITS in their place. And there was plenty of that schlock to begin with. But this is still important. We get a good sense of how Lima actually IS with this cross section of what’s popular.
Let’s focus on the dudes. Jacob Ben Israel is positively suicidal with urges, as he’s surrounded by titillation as far as the eye can see. Dear JBI: DEAL WITH IT. Erm. Anyways, apparently looking hot means you’re obligated to put out. Ah, teenage boys. Puck says something about crunchy toast (Which I can only make sense of in the context of “I shake my jelly at every chance” a la Destiny’s Child, so I guess it sorta makes sense, but it’s mostly just stupid.) This club is mostly apparently commiserating over blueballs and talking about your girlfriends. Ick.
Oh god, Finn’s flashback. He has incredibly childlike delivery of a lot of lines. Mostly “Driving is fun.” By the way, I feel like that would be an awesome buzzkill.
The girls aren’t any better, honestly. They revel in being teases? Really? Really Glee?
We get to the immaculate affection, and our first sexual look at Santana, however accidentally, is her turning down a dude’s sexual advances. Which is ironic since we know Santana wasn’t planned as a lesbian yet, but… well… evidence is evidence. Finn pops his balloon, and before Quinn can bust his chops, Rachel comes to his rescue with a heartfelt, educational speech about sex education and how things in the US need to change. Then she drops the bomb that girls like sex just like guys (Wait, what? You mean girls like sex? NO WAY), and then she flounces.
Emma catches Will being a scab, and Will is supah embarrassed to be doing a second job. Emma promises to keep his secret, Will overshares, and then Emma decides it’s time to help Will clean. And oh yeah, remember a little while back, when Emma told Rachel to find things to do together with Finn? You know, find some common ground?
This show’s parallels are tight. I love it.
Emma admires Will for going after what he wants, and Will takes this as a cue for Emma to open up about one of her problems- her intense OCD. This scene has always sort of bothered me, mostly because of how utterly disgusting that sort of thing is. Not Emma getting more pronounced symptoms after a traumatic incident, that happens (Trust me). No, it’s how Will decides to intentionally do things to Emma that she doesn’t want him to do for the sake of “curing her”. I’m sorry, Will, but no. Just no. This is as bad as licking her car door, only worse because it takes advantage of her feelings- she sees what Ken did as wrong. She won’t see this as wrong, and she should. I’m pretty sure Emms was having a mini panic attack here, but it’s not like I have any proof. So suffice to say that Will is totes inappropriate, Emma seems stunned, and then she beats a hasty retreat. Ken watches it all happen.
Of course, the world that has no perspective on OCD or mental illness or anything resembling that portrayed accurately on television think this is adorable or shows how good a person Will is and I just want to go live on the moon to escape the ignorance.
Rachel has stolen the Celibacy club’s gavel to pretend to be Wes to call an impromptu meeting of the Glee club so that they can discuss the assembly. Mercedes calls her Eva Peron, and Rachel must take that as a compliment given her want to play that role, but tangent. Finn convinces the kids to give her a chance because of the Celibacy club, and Rachel gives them her idea for the assembly: Not blood, as Kurt suggests, but SEX WHOAMG.
We get our first Figgins assembly monotone, it’s fantastic. Sue, stop defecating on school property, Emma, stop being obvious, Will, you’re not funny or clever, just introduce them normally. So we have our kids perform Push It by Salt N Pepa, and maybe it’s the fact that Everyone in this number is absolutely fantastic (But ESPECIALLY Kurt and Artie), or that Emma and Figgins love it, or that Sue is horrified, but this is one of my favorite numbers of all time.
This number, besides being incredibly explicit (Rachel wants to give them sex, let’s have an unsubtle song about sex with dry humping as the choreography), is also setting a precedent to the school- WMHS likes it when New Directions performs at the Assembly.
But why, you might ask. Isn’t that counterintuitive? Why would they hate the Glee Club all the time, unless they’re performing at the assembly? Well, friends, the simple answer is: Sex. Having this in your mental framework makes things on this show make more sense- assemblies almost always end in sex riots (Or would if not for teen vomit), Sam’s fallback to sex appeal in Hold on to Sixteen makes way more sense, everything about the Brittany number (Where I actually thought Will started the episode with a good, fair point)… a lot of things make sense when you remember that WMHS will like them for the two minutes they’re being titillated.
Apparently Sue finds dry humping and explicit lyrics more offensive than naked elementary school children. Now that Figgins has received threats from parents, he isn’t so pleased with the number either. Figgins is wishy washy and bends to the whims of parents, gotcha show. Sue tries to turn this into the end of Glee club, but Figgins actually does like the arts, he’s just easily cowed. So we have him giving Will a list of preapproved songs (All about Jesus and balloons, because of course those are safe songs).
Of course this plot point never comes up again (And I would have loved to see this one resolved somehow, omg lol forever), but… to be honest, it sets the precedent of Figgins being incredibly capricious with the Glee Club- he likes the idea of it, but he’s so easily swayed by ANYONE (Yes, even Will) that he can’t be counted on. On top of that, Will actually gets ome of Sue’s budget.
Will blazes out of Figgins’s office on the heels of Sue and starts ripping Rachel a new one halfway through her apology. He’s mad that Rachel lied to him (Will, don’t even), that she ruined their chances (Disco would have done the same thing) because now no one will join, and that she’s cut their song selection choices. This is all apparently Rachel’s fault, despite the whole club doing the number, despite the club telling Will over and over again what kind of songs they wanted to do. And then he says that he understands what she did, but that he doesn’t like how she did it. And I’ve got to be honest- Will’s being tough on Rachel, and definitely heaping all the blame on her instead of sharing it with everyone like he should be- but going behind your director’s back and changing the setlist is still a pretty big deal. So… nobody’s an idiot! Yay!
We cut to Emma being invited to Tulipalooza by Ken, and she tries to shut him down gently again, but Ken calls her on her crush on Will. He then tells her that she never wants to be the rebound (usually true), and that he ‘s a good man (highly, highly debatable). He says he’ll treat her right (Right before saying he’ll “put up with all her crazy” which shows that no, he won’t), and I would write this whole conversation off as a headache inducing nightmare (Emma was, in my opinion, NOT written well as an OCD character. Or rather, people’s interactions with her are TERRIBLE. Girl needs a hug), if not for one line. Ken says that she could do a lot worse, and then follows up with “And in this town? You’re not gonna do much better.”
So here’s our textual evidence that Lima is a hellhole, yet again- Ken’s a GOOD man? Well… yeah. What other adults have we seen so far? Howard Bamboo. Will. Terri. Kendra and her Husband. Sandy Ryerson. Emma. Figgins. Sue. Kendra’s husband can’t even use the bathroom without permission, Kendra and Terri are nightmares. Figgins is obstructive, uses problematic language, and does shady deals. Sandy is a drug dealer and self proclaimed “predatory gay” who makes overtures at students. Howard Bamboo can’t fold fitted sheets. So… the only people Ken isn’t a better choice than are Will (Who I’d say is just as bad as Ken, maybe worse because he and everyone around him THINKS he’s better) and Emma (Who isn’t perfect either).
This place is terrible. I can’t wait until we get an actual good parent when Burt shows up.
We cut to the auditorium date where Rachel is helping Finn belt out some high notes- I think it’s a B? Finn asks them to stop because singing makes him hungry (lol), but lucky him, Rachel’s provided a picnic! Which Finn only just figured out was for them. Um. Rachel is wondering why Finn wanted to meet her here to work on music, to which he says this is his only chance to be good like Rachel.
The problem I have here is a character once again attributing being good at something as self worth, which is a theme that most characters in this show continue to struggle against- I think as of right now, Kurt is the only kid who’s learned this lesson. But it’s a definite theme, and something Rachel has also already mentioned- Being part of something special makes you special, right?
Rachel starts fishing for compliments, and Finn takes a massive, steaming dump on her self esteem because he has no filter. He and Rachel really are alike, you know? Then he gets around to pumping her back up because he’s realized that he hurt her feelings.
They have an adorable exchange where Finn tells her she touched his heart with her singing, and Rachel gently corrects which side of his chest that is. Finn says it’s beating really hard, and that Rachel’s cool. In fact, Finn says cool every sentence after this, which shows just how nervous he is. Rachel gets him a virgin cosmo, and Finn tells her the Celibacy club thing was cool. He calls the cups airplane cups, then does the wiping the girl’s lips thing, and then they lean in to kiss.
I just want to say the camera shots they used here, as if we’re seeing Rachel from Finn’s eyes, and then Finn from Rachel’s right before they kiss, was very effectively shot. And then they’re macking out, and Finn has a mailman moment, so he bails out of mortification. Telling Rachel not to tell anyone about this. Which of course mortifies HER. Sigh.
We cut to the OB/GYN, where Terri is getting an ultrasound. Terri is having a hysterical pregnancy. End scene.
Oh god, I Say a Little Prayer. I love this number. Will is surprised that these three are trying out for the club. Quinn blithely lies that she’s supporting Finn, seeing as the two of them are an item. Which, as we all know, is a bold faced lie, because we’ve seen the “support” she has for Glee Club.
I Say a Little Prayer was first sung by Dionne Warwick, and that’s the version Quinn’s singing here. So let’s talk about what we know about Quinn so far. We know that she’s religious, image conscious, and popularity obsessed. Also, she’s not very nice to people. So in that context, what do we know about this song? This song is much more interesting in tandem with her next song, Keep Me Hanging On- Her first song is about how someone will stay in her heart forever, how she’ll love them forever, and that living without them is heartbreak. Her second song is about setting her free, she wants out.
Her style of song is also interesting- Quinn sticks very much to the 60’s, Supremes-ish kind of music, which musically gives her the most overlap with… Mercedes and Rachel. Mercedes is very obvious- Dionne Warwick has done songs that were also covered by Aretha, and she sings Don’t Make Me Over- a song that Mercedes gets. Rachel sings pop standards and broadway songs- but her broadway is traditionally classical rather than contemporary, so her songs would also have been covered by pop singers throughout the century- And indeed, Rachel sings Somewhere (There’s a Place for Us) from West Side Story, also covered to fanfare by the Supremes.
This in my opinion shows just how friendships form in Glee- The people that Quinn gets closest to, for better or worse, are Mercedes and Rachel (Santana and Brittany may be her Cheerios girls, but time and again Quinn is put at odds with them, so of course they sing mostly contemporary pop like Brittany, and Amy Winehouse, with Santana’s choices veering closer to… Mercedes. Huh, how bout that. :p), and indeed we see her superficially connected with Santana and Brittany, but her most emotional connections are with the people she has musical connection to, and that’s a running theme in Glee.
As for the song lyric itself? Quinn is trying very hard to project that this song is about Finn, it’s a song about support right after mentioning supporting Finn’s choices. But I think she’s really “saying a little prayer” for herself. The rest of the song is about appearing perfect (While combing my hair now, and wondering what dress to wear now), and the whole thing is just sort of drenched in desperation (Something EVERY Quinn song has).
We see the aftermath of the audition, with Quinn explaining herself to Sue. Sue says she’s like a young Sue Sylvester, and Quinn’s mostly pleased, then insults Quinn’s bone structure, and Quinn’s mostly not pleased, and then says that they’re alike, and Quinn’s so not pleased that she looks over at Santana for support. Interesting. I think this is when Quinn is supposed to become sympathetic. Or at least, that’s when she did for me. Sue charges them with spying, which excites Santana and Brittany, but Quinn mostly just wants Finn back.
Will sidles up to Emma in the hallway to invite her on a date to the boys bathroom later that night, and oh, my god, worst date ever. Emma sets him straight about the fact that what they’re doing is totally cheating, and ten tells Will that she’s going to date Ken now. Because he’s taken and having a baby. Will looks crushed, but I’m gonna guess this is harder for Emma, so I don’t even know.
Terri ambushes Will with Chicken Pot Pie so that she can tell him about her hysterical pregnancy, and Terri starts to feel terrible about telling him this news, and then… blurts out the first lie that she can think of. That it’s a boy. You can see her freaking the fuck out over Will’s shoulder, and I don’t even. This is an awful lie to tell, and Terri is only just realizing how big a screw-up she’s made. So her guilty conscience makes her give up her craft room as a compromise, so now Will doesn’t have to work as a janitor or buy his house from the fake happy real estate agent of fake smiles.
Our next scene is in the choir room, and Will is giving Rachel’s solo in Don’t Stop Believin’ to Quinn. And all I can see now that I’ve thought about the auditions from the pilot and how Will has treated everyone else is that he is giving lead positions to the whitest, most popular kids in his club. With added Christian subtext, because part of the reason he’s giving the part to Quinn is because she sang from Figgins’s approved song list (Which I’m sure Don’t Stop isn’t part of). This is not how a good teacher operates. Rachel correctly states that Will is punishing her, but Will tells her that this is her fault and that he’s not punishing her, practically in the same breath (Contradiction much?).
Will then starts his oversharing circle of oversharing, by telling Rachel how this is his fault too- something he didn’t actually do outside Figgins’s office. So… yay? He talks about how the songs were cool when he was singing them, and that they both need to change mindsets to make this club work- the second part is true, but the first part I’m skeptical about. And Rachel’s the ONLY one who changes her mindset.
The interesting thing here is that Will starts his wonderful trend of missing the point, and we get ourselves another episode parallel- 2.02 is about the club not wanting to sing Adult Contemporary, and Will not listening to them. 3.02 breaks from that pattern, but maybe that’s just because I’m not paying close enough attention.
Rachel asks for the auditorium to practice in, and we start our closing number- Take a Bow. The nice thing about the closing songs is that they’re really obvious- Rachel’s singing about someone looking dumb, putting on a show, apologizing and not being heard- She’s clearly singing about herself, in regards to both Finn and Will- The assembly made her look like bad leadership to Will, he keeps disregarding her apologies, and she doesn’t get a say about Quinn taking her solo. On the flip side, she’s mortified by the auditorium debacle, where she made a bit of a show of her affections.
She does sing the bridge to Finn- It’s about cheating, after all, which is what the auditorium debacle was about.
And that’s the conclusion we get for this episode.
Couple of things to note-
The communication theme was pretty pervasive- from how we as a nation need to give better sex education channels to getting to know people to being an effective team, everything about this episode was about effective communication.On top of that, there are also strong themes of compromise- The compromise in Figgins’s office, the compromise about the craft room, the compromise of sex education between celibacy and sexual activity, Will admitting that they should have compromised about the Disco, Will compromising (poorly) about Disco by bringing in Kanye. In fact, any time someone doesn’t compromise this episode, things blow up in their face.
I could continue the Douche!Will list, but… I’m not really sure if I have that willpower. He mostly gets called out in the reviews anyways.
But let’s just mention the fact that there are still tight parallels between Will and Finn- their stories this episode were still pretty much the exact same thing told in different ways (including the cheating- Will is totally treating their janitor work like dates, and starting an emotional affair, and Finn actually asks Rachel out and makes out with her, which is an ACTUAL affair). The parallels between Quinn and Terri are introduced here, and the parallels between Rachel and Emma become much more pronounced. So all in all, not too shabby.
So Will pulls up to incredibly upbeat music- I don’t know about you, but it brings to mind casinos to me. His muffler is still dragging (Do cops EXIST in this verse?), and as he walks up to WMHS, he is bombarded by his students, all of whom are superficially happier- Rachel and Finn have a cute moment, Artie, Tina, and Mercedes are all hanging out together, and ickle Kurt is making more friends!
Oh wait, that’s not it at all. Rachel spent last episode saying if Glee is a waste of her time, she’ll quit. She clearly thinks not singing lead is a waste of time, so Will shuts down her singing lead because… I guess he didn’t understand what was going on. Color me surprised. Artie, Tina, and Mercedes… what exactly has changed for them? Artie and Tina were hanging out in canon already via signups, and they all already liked singing… So Will has so far done jack for them. Even less for Kurt, who is still getting dumpster tossed, and Will is still not seeing it.
Let’s add the fact that Will almost abandoned these kids, and his big triumphant feels like a winner moment is… not abandoning them?
Seriously?
So I’m going to ask a question- Why is the music so happy? We just saw for ourselves the results of Pilot- Nothing has changed. Will has done nothing for these kids, so… why are we so happy?
The correct answer is: We’re not. We’re supposed to think that we are, though. Because Will thinks we are.
Continue on with your A-Game, Glee.
We cut to the outdoor walkway of season 1, which is hardly used anymore, more’s the pity because I liked it. Will is wearing a periwinkle sweater, which I am noting for other reasons later, but also because he matches Emma here, which is… I don’t know. The way it plays out here is vaguely creepy- as if Emma planned for them to match,which means she had to have seen the outfit before now which means she’s been spying on Will? Or maybe I’m overthinking things. Still, considering how often we catch her staring at Will this episode, and how Ken calls her on this exact thing… I’m not putting it past the show.
Emma engineers a bit of meet cute, because she has it BAD for Will, and Will thanks her for stopping him from quitting (Which hey, didn’t the kids do that?), and they are breathy and adorable and it’s actually really cute. It’s cut super short by Santana and Quinn walking up and being blatantly disrespectful to the teachers here (Which absolutely wouldn’t fly in a school IRL, natch), and we get our segue into Sue’s office.
She’s “blasting her hammies”, and then offering Will iron tablets to keep his strength up. She proceeds to condescend to Will about how much it must hurt to have that arrangement with Figgins. Will assures her he’s going to be fine, and Sue utterly schools him by telling him he needs six more kids, why don’t you read rules Will?
Seriously, this is a big moment for Will as an educator. Why didn’t you read the rules Will? Do you think the rules don’t apply to you? Now someone might point out a “How could he have known”, and I could give you that- this school doesn’t care about this particular extracurricular, Will’s predecessor was fired before he took the job, the only kid explicitly from the group from before was Rachel, and she would only care about getting to sing solos.
So I can give you he doesn’t know right now. But what about later? Sue continues to surprise him with rules from that rulebook throughout season 1. Will has every reason to have read the rulebook, especially since Sue’s just pointed out one of possibly many ways he’s not qualified to compete. She does so in Throwdown. She does so in Mattress. WHY DON’T YOU READ THE RULEBOOK WILL.
Here’s my interpretation (Pretty way of saying my fanon/assumption): Because Will is not a good teacher. Which is actually the assumption this whole review series will work on, so get used to it here.
To be fair, Sue isn’t looking to rosy here either, what with the “Cripples aren’t real people” remark, but she’s intentionally being shown as the villain right now (And later on is shown to say many, many things disingenuously). But Will is our protagonist. Now I understand this is a common literary technique- Will’s the newcomer, so we have to explain really basic things to him so that the audience can also be told these things. I get that. I also get that Will flat out doesn’t learn.
We start seeing a bit of Sue characterization (And 7 episodes later isn’t a huge stretch, people, I’m pretty sure the arc of the front 9 was planned out already because there was the possibility of the show ending there), where she has a handy dandy list of Special Ed Classes.
You realize that WMHS has had their Special Ed department cut as of season 3? Sue doesn’t give us an actual context as to when, either. So what are the odds that these Special Ed Classes even are at WMHS?
Time and distance have turned this from a one-off for the sake of a cruel joke moment into something different- Given her relationship with Becky, and her soft spot for Artie (She buys the ramps for him in Wheels, her conversations with him in Extraordinary Merry Christmas and Yes/No), and her renewed focus on Special Ed classes during her campaign, it’s not even a stretch to think that she mentors and watches out for students with disabilities in some manner or another (Though since it’s Sue, she’s not likely to be particularly nice about it).
Food for thought, at least.
Sue offers Will the ability to be her lackey (Something she only gives to people she respects- She constantly tells Quinn how much “Sue she C’s” in her, and let’s be real: Becky is so HBIC it hurts. Santana is just as harsh and direct as Sue is. This is also something interesting. Especially since as the series goes on, she loses any and all respect for Will. Hmmm…), which Will declines. He tells her she’s used to being the cock of the walk, but that he’s here to stay, with the implicit threat that now Will and Glee will be the cock of the walk, and can I have some feels about this too? Honestly, these first 5 minutes are very, very dense with stuff to discuss.
Cock of the walk originates from c. 1850. It refers to a rooster’s strutting about the barnyard- they look prideful and have a distinctive gait, something someone somewhere linked to leadership and the rest is history. There’s all sorts of things wrapped up in this, but it being offensive is, if anything, incidental- the phrase evolved etymologically from an animal (Albeit a male one, but that’s of no consequence here) and how it walks. It in no way has to do with dudes being on top (Only it kind of does, considering it’s dude roosters- you see how this phrase is a bit problematic, only not, only it is, only opinions proliferate in abundance). Will uses it, someone calls him on his offensive language, and… nothing. Will continues to soldier on.
Let’s get on to the lesson this episode gives: Communication. This is the third moment in a row of Will just flat out missing the whole point of things going on around him- He doesn’t see that the kids still have shitty lives, he doesn’t see Emma and her admittedly kind of iffy behavior, he doesn’t see anything he’s said to Sue as problematic despite her clearly commenting on it.
Will is TERRIBLE at communication.
(That last point was actually a general politeness thing- if I don’t like the word cromulent, and ask you to stop using it, that’s the polite thing to do. Doing otherwise shows a lack of respect. Which again, interesting- we now know that Will doesn’t respect Sue, yet Sue actually DOES respect Will in her own weird way. And even if you don’t buy my underlings theory, Sue’s still keeping up a veneer of kindness with Will, something she doesn’t do with anyone else)
Let’s see how his kids do.
We cut to the hallway where Quinn is berating Finn for joining Glee as it will hurt their rep. She’s mad because it’s ruining her shot at some shiny crowns, getting in the way of her ambition. Finn tells her she’s making this into a thing when it’s totally not a thing, which doesn’t open up the discourse any AT ALL, but Quinn counters with her own discourse closer: Sex. So we have Finn gaslighting Quinn and Quinn tempting Finn. Guys? You’re both being horrible at communication.
Given that you’re teen Will and Terri (Quinn thankfully grows out of this, kind of, though the parallels in season 2 still exist- Terri’s covering up her crazy, as is Quinn, Terri comes back into prominence at the end of Season 2, when Finn and Quinn get back together), this is not surprising.
So Rachel is just casually standing there listening in, and I can’t even. She’s terrible at being a creeper. Finn continues to sound like an adorable child (“I really want to do Glee, I’m really happy when I’m performing”), and Quinn tells him that word on the street is that he’s gay, and that Quinn is his beard. Finn can’t even deal with this right now, so he… bails. The first and mildest of Finn’s problems with being called gay.
With no Finn to try and convince, Quinn sets her sights on Rachel. She calls her out on her terrible spying, insinuates that she’s a man (AGAIN. Between this and the pornographic pictures, my F13 Faberry ship goggles are working overtime.), and tells Rachel to step off her man, as he’s hers. Rachel puts on the cast condescension hat to tell Quinn that’s Finn and her have made a connection, but Rachel is FAR TOO HONORABLE to try and steal Finn.
Let’s check back on this plotline later in the episode, shall we?
Rachel tries to get the last word, but she gets slushied because this club can’t win, at least not this early on. Maybe not even ever, but that’s a conversation for another day.
We cut to the Glee Club practicing Le Freak, which is a disco song… talking about how awesome disco is. Will is transparent like sheet glass (HE’S the one who should have sung Mr. Cellophane). Rachel tries to put too much grease into it and almost kicks Mercedes in the head. Mercedes is having none of that, and starts her trend of shaking that weave and taking no sass from nobody one second and being… well… not, the very next second. She opens with her patented “AW HELL TO THE NO” and threatens to cut Rachel (That… is possibly the most stereotypical, divorced from reality dialogue I’ve heard on this show, though I’m sure as I relive it, there will be other lines), and then turns on her heels to tell will that “Also? This song? Is terrible”, which isn’t all that sassy so much as honest.
Will immediately tries to shift the blame onto the kids (“It’s not the song, you guys just aren’t getting it”), and isn’t that a great communication method? A great teaching method? I wasn’t wrong, you are. It’s not my fault you don’t get my artistic genius!
Grow up Will.
Kurt says it’s not them, it’s the song, which is, and I quote, “Really gay”. And for just one second, can I say that having people be intrinsically, ironically awful about things that they should have a vested interest in being a thing all the way from the start of the show? Kurt doesn’t understand what it means to live with being gay yet. Kurt doesn’t yet know how hurtful that phrase is, he’s using it for a purpose, yes, but he doesn’t understand it. Why was it awesome when they did it in season 1, but it’s “bad writing” now? How is Bieste laughing at Kurt not being masculine onstage any different from Kurt calling something “really gay”? Eh, two cents, let’s get this review moving, shall we?
Artie asks for modern music, but Will will brook no argument- they’re doing this song at the Pep assembly on Friday, and, Will? Have you never been the director of an arts group? Why would you only just now tell your kids that you have a performance at the end of the week? Why would you not get their input on what they should perform? Will, have you read the rulebook? Why haven’t you read the rulebook?
Will doesn’t understand that his kids are panicking, even after Kurt and Rachel make it explicit, Will gets to tell us how he “can’t express to [them]” just what the assembly is going to mean- They need six recruits, and Will, despite being told that these kids are school bottomfeeders, are going to attract some more friends with music that their peers think is stupid, or “gay”, as Kurt has so eloquently put it for us. But that’s not what Rachel cares about. She cares about how Finn is having a massive, silent freak out next to her. Will snots something about how this worked out for him, and- isn’t that his line of thinking forever- that of course it’ll work for them.
We get a nice scene of Will and Terri house shopping, right before we flash back to Will’s apartment where we meet Kendra, Terri’s sister WHO IS FANTASTIC. Seriously, she’s hilarious for one reason- her ignorance is astounding. I think the inclusion of her really hurt the show, because it made everyone focus on how awful she was instead of how awful EVERYONE is, but she has some of the best oneliners, gets our plot rolling, and exemplifies exactly how fucked up Lima is- All the adults we’ve seen so far in story are HORRIBLE, and Burt not being horrible is such a curveball that I don’t even. But in comparison to her, Will and Terri look positively normal, and that’s why she exists.
Kendra’s kids aren’t very well behaved, and it’s driving Will crazy. Kendra talks Terri into buying a new house while Will screams at the screaming children, because stooping to someone else’s level is also Will’s specialty, even if they’re kids. We smear back to the present, where apparently child labor from Ecuador is a good thing (Lima, Ohio: Distopia), Terri thinks girls and gay boys are exactly the same, and Sophie’s choice is many things, Terri, but not this. Will decides to get a part-time job to help pay for everything, and, okay, maybe I’m not worldly because I’ve never heard any adult in real life attempt to get a part-time jobe, but I have watched A LOT of television, and the only ones who say it THERE are teenagers. So show, why are we making Will sound like a teenager? Eh? Eh?
We cut to the choir room, where Kurt and Mercedes are being actualfax adorable and Finn is having trouble tying his shoes. Um. (In fact, pay attention to the blurred out Finn once Rachel’s staring thing starts happening, and you’ll see him SMILE AND NOD WHEN HE GETS IT RIGHT) Sometimes I wonder about Finn.
Mr. Schuester comes in and tells them that they’re going to sing some Kanye, but not for the assembly, even though that’s all the kids care about right now. He then follows this up with how communication is key, and he’s totally listening to the kids (In every way but the one that matters). He then ignores what Artie is saying to drive home how noncommunicatie he’s being, and tells Finn he’ll take the solo. Finn mumbles about how he can’t, so Mr. Schue decides it’s appropriate for him to sing it. You know, as a teacher. Hi, have you met Artie? Why aren’t you giving him the rap part?
He asks Mercedes if she knows this (Of course Will would), to which she replies that she’s got this. Let me be frank- this is never the kind of song that Mercedes sings content-wise, and only barely her style. It’s way more Artie’s speed (Thankfully the kids know what they’re doing- Artie takes over the Jamie Foxx part a bit further in), but you know Will- Mercedes is our resident black girl, so all black music passes through her. Mercedes busts some windows out your car with her sweet tunes, and we get a shocked face by Rachel- she’s clearly never heard Mercedes do anything but harmonize.
So let’s recap that- The first time Will lets Mercedes sing anything on lead is when it’s “her” music. She’s clearly talented, but this is how Will chooses to notice her? Only in this context? And it’s not just this once- Will has to find things for her to dip in chocolate, Will gives her parts in Proud Mary, The minute she asks for “Blacker” music, she gets a full-fledged solo.
I’d play up the Diva too.
Also, upon relisten, this song is… way more fitting. And I actually think it’s about Quinn. Keeping in mind that this song was intended for Finn, and of course it’s also about Terri and Will, but… think about it. Our Quinn moment this episode wasn’t about how she was worried about Finn’s rep, it was about him quitting saving HER rep. Well, his rep that she’s using. Now I’m not saying she’s after his popularity, but she ain’t messing with no unpopular kid. And of course this song is also about Babygate. “Got one of your kids, got you for eighteen years.”
We end the number with a jovial “From the top!” from Will, and we cut to the ladies room , where Emma catches Rachel trying to throw up. A quick one liner about blowjobs and visual gag about serious issues later (Glee is still funny, even if I wouldn’t necessarily call it a comedy), we have Emma asking Rachel what’s going on with her. Whilst ogling Will. Focus, Emms.
She pulls it around by being a semi-good counselor here (Mostly because when the issues hit too close to home, Emma can’t handle it very well). She tells Rachel that she needs to protect her heart and go after guys who appreciate her (PREACH), suggests developing common interests.
Rachel of course completely misses the point (OMG, Carousel Horse sweater, let me love you. I can’t wait for Comeback), and lands herself and Finn in Figgins’s office. We are led to believe sex, but… okay, I would not put that past this show AT ALL, but at this point when I first saw it I was like PFFT EUPHEMISMS.
H’okay, so. Finn and Rachel made copies on the Cheerios photocopier machine, Sue wants justice. She gets 76.5 cents. In the means of it, Sue is inappropriate, and Will is being sexist, according to Sue. At the end the kids try to talk to Will, and Will tries to shut down the discourse, not once, but three times. (I do love the “EVERYBODY LOVES DISCO” line) Because there is no kill like overkill, Will.
Rachel tries to make Finn feel better, and it totally works. Sensing an in, she asks him if he wants to practice with her, but he bails for Celibacy club. And this is when Rachel thinks back to talking to Emma.
Will and Terri are having a joint bath (And not the sexy kind), when Will drops the bomb about not being able to find work. Terri goes on a spiel about how she deserves to want things, how she earned things, and honestly, if I were dealing with someone like this in my life, it’d make me afraid to want things too. I kind of see how Will got to how he is now, with scenes like this. We then cut to Figgins scraping up protein shake, and Will being a scab (Figgins: It is NEVER Lupus). Money plot is back on track.
The Celibacy club! Oh god. This club reads as a gross cross-section of pretty much any gender/sex discussion on the internet, only it removes all the intelligent, cogent arguments and just shoved some LOL TITS in their place. And there was plenty of that schlock to begin with. But this is still important. We get a good sense of how Lima actually IS with this cross section of what’s popular.
Let’s focus on the dudes. Jacob Ben Israel is positively suicidal with urges, as he’s surrounded by titillation as far as the eye can see. Dear JBI: DEAL WITH IT. Erm. Anyways, apparently looking hot means you’re obligated to put out. Ah, teenage boys. Puck says something about crunchy toast (Which I can only make sense of in the context of “I shake my jelly at every chance” a la Destiny’s Child, so I guess it sorta makes sense, but it’s mostly just stupid.) This club is mostly apparently commiserating over blueballs and talking about your girlfriends. Ick.
Oh god, Finn’s flashback. He has incredibly childlike delivery of a lot of lines. Mostly “Driving is fun.” By the way, I feel like that would be an awesome buzzkill.
The girls aren’t any better, honestly. They revel in being teases? Really? Really Glee?
We get to the immaculate affection, and our first sexual look at Santana, however accidentally, is her turning down a dude’s sexual advances. Which is ironic since we know Santana wasn’t planned as a lesbian yet, but… well… evidence is evidence. Finn pops his balloon, and before Quinn can bust his chops, Rachel comes to his rescue with a heartfelt, educational speech about sex education and how things in the US need to change. Then she drops the bomb that girls like sex just like guys (Wait, what? You mean girls like sex? NO WAY), and then she flounces.
Emma catches Will being a scab, and Will is supah embarrassed to be doing a second job. Emma promises to keep his secret, Will overshares, and then Emma decides it’s time to help Will clean. And oh yeah, remember a little while back, when Emma told Rachel to find things to do together with Finn? You know, find some common ground?
This show’s parallels are tight. I love it.
Emma admires Will for going after what he wants, and Will takes this as a cue for Emma to open up about one of her problems- her intense OCD. This scene has always sort of bothered me, mostly because of how utterly disgusting that sort of thing is. Not Emma getting more pronounced symptoms after a traumatic incident, that happens (Trust me). No, it’s how Will decides to intentionally do things to Emma that she doesn’t want him to do for the sake of “curing her”. I’m sorry, Will, but no. Just no. This is as bad as licking her car door, only worse because it takes advantage of her feelings- she sees what Ken did as wrong. She won’t see this as wrong, and she should. I’m pretty sure Emms was having a mini panic attack here, but it’s not like I have any proof. So suffice to say that Will is totes inappropriate, Emma seems stunned, and then she beats a hasty retreat. Ken watches it all happen.
Of course, the world that has no perspective on OCD or mental illness or anything resembling that portrayed accurately on television think this is adorable or shows how good a person Will is and I just want to go live on the moon to escape the ignorance.
Rachel has stolen the Celibacy club’s gavel to pretend to be Wes to call an impromptu meeting of the Glee club so that they can discuss the assembly. Mercedes calls her Eva Peron, and Rachel must take that as a compliment given her want to play that role, but tangent. Finn convinces the kids to give her a chance because of the Celibacy club, and Rachel gives them her idea for the assembly: Not blood, as Kurt suggests, but SEX WHOAMG.
We get our first Figgins assembly monotone, it’s fantastic. Sue, stop defecating on school property, Emma, stop being obvious, Will, you’re not funny or clever, just introduce them normally. So we have our kids perform Push It by Salt N Pepa, and maybe it’s the fact that Everyone in this number is absolutely fantastic (But ESPECIALLY Kurt and Artie), or that Emma and Figgins love it, or that Sue is horrified, but this is one of my favorite numbers of all time.
This number, besides being incredibly explicit (Rachel wants to give them sex, let’s have an unsubtle song about sex with dry humping as the choreography), is also setting a precedent to the school- WMHS likes it when New Directions performs at the Assembly.
But why, you might ask. Isn’t that counterintuitive? Why would they hate the Glee Club all the time, unless they’re performing at the assembly? Well, friends, the simple answer is: Sex. Having this in your mental framework makes things on this show make more sense- assemblies almost always end in sex riots (Or would if not for teen vomit), Sam’s fallback to sex appeal in Hold on to Sixteen makes way more sense, everything about the Brittany number (Where I actually thought Will started the episode with a good, fair point)… a lot of things make sense when you remember that WMHS will like them for the two minutes they’re being titillated.
Apparently Sue finds dry humping and explicit lyrics more offensive than naked elementary school children. Now that Figgins has received threats from parents, he isn’t so pleased with the number either. Figgins is wishy washy and bends to the whims of parents, gotcha show. Sue tries to turn this into the end of Glee club, but Figgins actually does like the arts, he’s just easily cowed. So we have him giving Will a list of preapproved songs (All about Jesus and balloons, because of course those are safe songs).
Of course this plot point never comes up again (And I would have loved to see this one resolved somehow, omg lol forever), but… to be honest, it sets the precedent of Figgins being incredibly capricious with the Glee Club- he likes the idea of it, but he’s so easily swayed by ANYONE (Yes, even Will) that he can’t be counted on. On top of that, Will actually gets ome of Sue’s budget.
Will blazes out of Figgins’s office on the heels of Sue and starts ripping Rachel a new one halfway through her apology. He’s mad that Rachel lied to him (Will, don’t even), that she ruined their chances (Disco would have done the same thing) because now no one will join, and that she’s cut their song selection choices. This is all apparently Rachel’s fault, despite the whole club doing the number, despite the club telling Will over and over again what kind of songs they wanted to do. And then he says that he understands what she did, but that he doesn’t like how she did it. And I’ve got to be honest- Will’s being tough on Rachel, and definitely heaping all the blame on her instead of sharing it with everyone like he should be- but going behind your director’s back and changing the setlist is still a pretty big deal. So… nobody’s an idiot! Yay!
We cut to Emma being invited to Tulipalooza by Ken, and she tries to shut him down gently again, but Ken calls her on her crush on Will. He then tells her that she never wants to be the rebound (usually true), and that he ‘s a good man (highly, highly debatable). He says he’ll treat her right (Right before saying he’ll “put up with all her crazy” which shows that no, he won’t), and I would write this whole conversation off as a headache inducing nightmare (Emma was, in my opinion, NOT written well as an OCD character. Or rather, people’s interactions with her are TERRIBLE. Girl needs a hug), if not for one line. Ken says that she could do a lot worse, and then follows up with “And in this town? You’re not gonna do much better.”
So here’s our textual evidence that Lima is a hellhole, yet again- Ken’s a GOOD man? Well… yeah. What other adults have we seen so far? Howard Bamboo. Will. Terri. Kendra and her Husband. Sandy Ryerson. Emma. Figgins. Sue. Kendra’s husband can’t even use the bathroom without permission, Kendra and Terri are nightmares. Figgins is obstructive, uses problematic language, and does shady deals. Sandy is a drug dealer and self proclaimed “predatory gay” who makes overtures at students. Howard Bamboo can’t fold fitted sheets. So… the only people Ken isn’t a better choice than are Will (Who I’d say is just as bad as Ken, maybe worse because he and everyone around him THINKS he’s better) and Emma (Who isn’t perfect either).
This place is terrible. I can’t wait until we get an actual good parent when Burt shows up.
We cut to the auditorium date where Rachel is helping Finn belt out some high notes- I think it’s a B? Finn asks them to stop because singing makes him hungry (lol), but lucky him, Rachel’s provided a picnic! Which Finn only just figured out was for them. Um. Rachel is wondering why Finn wanted to meet her here to work on music, to which he says this is his only chance to be good like Rachel.
The problem I have here is a character once again attributing being good at something as self worth, which is a theme that most characters in this show continue to struggle against- I think as of right now, Kurt is the only kid who’s learned this lesson. But it’s a definite theme, and something Rachel has also already mentioned- Being part of something special makes you special, right?
Rachel starts fishing for compliments, and Finn takes a massive, steaming dump on her self esteem because he has no filter. He and Rachel really are alike, you know? Then he gets around to pumping her back up because he’s realized that he hurt her feelings.
They have an adorable exchange where Finn tells her she touched his heart with her singing, and Rachel gently corrects which side of his chest that is. Finn says it’s beating really hard, and that Rachel’s cool. In fact, Finn says cool every sentence after this, which shows just how nervous he is. Rachel gets him a virgin cosmo, and Finn tells her the Celibacy club thing was cool. He calls the cups airplane cups, then does the wiping the girl’s lips thing, and then they lean in to kiss.
I just want to say the camera shots they used here, as if we’re seeing Rachel from Finn’s eyes, and then Finn from Rachel’s right before they kiss, was very effectively shot. And then they’re macking out, and Finn has a mailman moment, so he bails out of mortification. Telling Rachel not to tell anyone about this. Which of course mortifies HER. Sigh.
We cut to the OB/GYN, where Terri is getting an ultrasound. Terri is having a hysterical pregnancy. End scene.
Oh god, I Say a Little Prayer. I love this number. Will is surprised that these three are trying out for the club. Quinn blithely lies that she’s supporting Finn, seeing as the two of them are an item. Which, as we all know, is a bold faced lie, because we’ve seen the “support” she has for Glee Club.
I Say a Little Prayer was first sung by Dionne Warwick, and that’s the version Quinn’s singing here. So let’s talk about what we know about Quinn so far. We know that she’s religious, image conscious, and popularity obsessed. Also, she’s not very nice to people. So in that context, what do we know about this song? This song is much more interesting in tandem with her next song, Keep Me Hanging On- Her first song is about how someone will stay in her heart forever, how she’ll love them forever, and that living without them is heartbreak. Her second song is about setting her free, she wants out.
Her style of song is also interesting- Quinn sticks very much to the 60’s, Supremes-ish kind of music, which musically gives her the most overlap with… Mercedes and Rachel. Mercedes is very obvious- Dionne Warwick has done songs that were also covered by Aretha, and she sings Don’t Make Me Over- a song that Mercedes gets. Rachel sings pop standards and broadway songs- but her broadway is traditionally classical rather than contemporary, so her songs would also have been covered by pop singers throughout the century- And indeed, Rachel sings Somewhere (There’s a Place for Us) from West Side Story, also covered to fanfare by the Supremes.
This in my opinion shows just how friendships form in Glee- The people that Quinn gets closest to, for better or worse, are Mercedes and Rachel (Santana and Brittany may be her Cheerios girls, but time and again Quinn is put at odds with them, so of course they sing mostly contemporary pop like Brittany, and Amy Winehouse, with Santana’s choices veering closer to… Mercedes. Huh, how bout that. :p), and indeed we see her superficially connected with Santana and Brittany, but her most emotional connections are with the people she has musical connection to, and that’s a running theme in Glee.
As for the song lyric itself? Quinn is trying very hard to project that this song is about Finn, it’s a song about support right after mentioning supporting Finn’s choices. But I think she’s really “saying a little prayer” for herself. The rest of the song is about appearing perfect (While combing my hair now, and wondering what dress to wear now), and the whole thing is just sort of drenched in desperation (Something EVERY Quinn song has).
We see the aftermath of the audition, with Quinn explaining herself to Sue. Sue says she’s like a young Sue Sylvester, and Quinn’s mostly pleased, then insults Quinn’s bone structure, and Quinn’s mostly not pleased, and then says that they’re alike, and Quinn’s so not pleased that she looks over at Santana for support. Interesting. I think this is when Quinn is supposed to become sympathetic. Or at least, that’s when she did for me. Sue charges them with spying, which excites Santana and Brittany, but Quinn mostly just wants Finn back.
Will sidles up to Emma in the hallway to invite her on a date to the boys bathroom later that night, and oh, my god, worst date ever. Emma sets him straight about the fact that what they’re doing is totally cheating, and ten tells Will that she’s going to date Ken now. Because he’s taken and having a baby. Will looks crushed, but I’m gonna guess this is harder for Emma, so I don’t even know.
Terri ambushes Will with Chicken Pot Pie so that she can tell him about her hysterical pregnancy, and Terri starts to feel terrible about telling him this news, and then… blurts out the first lie that she can think of. That it’s a boy. You can see her freaking the fuck out over Will’s shoulder, and I don’t even. This is an awful lie to tell, and Terri is only just realizing how big a screw-up she’s made. So her guilty conscience makes her give up her craft room as a compromise, so now Will doesn’t have to work as a janitor or buy his house from the fake happy real estate agent of fake smiles.
Our next scene is in the choir room, and Will is giving Rachel’s solo in Don’t Stop Believin’ to Quinn. And all I can see now that I’ve thought about the auditions from the pilot and how Will has treated everyone else is that he is giving lead positions to the whitest, most popular kids in his club. With added Christian subtext, because part of the reason he’s giving the part to Quinn is because she sang from Figgins’s approved song list (Which I’m sure Don’t Stop isn’t part of). This is not how a good teacher operates. Rachel correctly states that Will is punishing her, but Will tells her that this is her fault and that he’s not punishing her, practically in the same breath (Contradiction much?).
Will then starts his oversharing circle of oversharing, by telling Rachel how this is his fault too- something he didn’t actually do outside Figgins’s office. So… yay? He talks about how the songs were cool when he was singing them, and that they both need to change mindsets to make this club work- the second part is true, but the first part I’m skeptical about. And Rachel’s the ONLY one who changes her mindset.
The interesting thing here is that Will starts his wonderful trend of missing the point, and we get ourselves another episode parallel- 2.02 is about the club not wanting to sing Adult Contemporary, and Will not listening to them. 3.02 breaks from that pattern, but maybe that’s just because I’m not paying close enough attention.
Rachel asks for the auditorium to practice in, and we start our closing number- Take a Bow. The nice thing about the closing songs is that they’re really obvious- Rachel’s singing about someone looking dumb, putting on a show, apologizing and not being heard- She’s clearly singing about herself, in regards to both Finn and Will- The assembly made her look like bad leadership to Will, he keeps disregarding her apologies, and she doesn’t get a say about Quinn taking her solo. On the flip side, she’s mortified by the auditorium debacle, where she made a bit of a show of her affections.
She does sing the bridge to Finn- It’s about cheating, after all, which is what the auditorium debacle was about.
And that’s the conclusion we get for this episode.
Couple of things to note-
The communication theme was pretty pervasive- from how we as a nation need to give better sex education channels to getting to know people to being an effective team, everything about this episode was about effective communication.On top of that, there are also strong themes of compromise- The compromise in Figgins’s office, the compromise about the craft room, the compromise of sex education between celibacy and sexual activity, Will admitting that they should have compromised about the Disco, Will compromising (poorly) about Disco by bringing in Kanye. In fact, any time someone doesn’t compromise this episode, things blow up in their face.
I could continue the Douche!Will list, but… I’m not really sure if I have that willpower. He mostly gets called out in the reviews anyways.
But let’s just mention the fact that there are still tight parallels between Will and Finn- their stories this episode were still pretty much the exact same thing told in different ways (including the cheating- Will is totally treating their janitor work like dates, and starting an emotional affair, and Finn actually asks Rachel out and makes out with her, which is an ACTUAL affair). The parallels between Quinn and Terri are introduced here, and the parallels between Rachel and Emma become much more pronounced. So all in all, not too shabby.