The List (FRIENDS inspired):
he doesn't have to be tall
he doesn't have to be popular
he doesn't need to dance, or know the right things to say
doesn't always have to be there, or even always call
he doesn't have to see me everyday
he doesn't have to 'dance in the moonlight' with me
he doesn't have to be amazing
he doesn't have to be super
he doesn't have to smile in pictures or even kiss my cheek
he shouldn't buy me things to make up for fights and arguments
he doesn't have to take me anywhere special
he doesn't have to love me unconditionally
he doesn't have to listen to every word, and remember every detail
he should care
he doesn't need to be sober
bonus points for his hair
he doesn't need to compliment me, I don't need to hear it
staring at me should make me giggle uncomfortably
he's got to have his own tickle spots
he's got to have problems of his own, or else I'd look so soap opera
he doesn't have to be 'deep', but if he listens at that time and just offers his own company I'd appreciate it
I don't have to be the first person he tells his problems to
I don't have to be the one that changes him, or is responsible for his change
I don't have to remember other people when I'm with him
he should be considerate
he should be daring
he should push me
he should challenge me
he should make me happy
he doesn't have to fulfill this list
and apparently he doesn't need to be him either.
If only half of you friends would understand instead of roll your eyes,
if only half of you would listen intently instead of half listening and then continue with your own story,
if only I didn't have to care so I don't have to talk about him at all right?
Yes I'm angry at him, yes we're not really getting along
but keep in mind, he is the constant in my life -- he's taught me a lot
and the only reason I'm peaceful in my own mind that I keep him around at a safe distance
is because I never want to forget that I found what the rest of the world searches for,
because I never want to forget that there's going to be someone in the world who can do half the things on my list,
I never want to forget someone is capable of loving every pound, every hair, every tooth, every smile, every giggle, every finger, every toe, each eye, and my very own heart in the way that he did.
He was able to do that, and it helps me believe someone else can too.
Now start being around, stop being judgmental, and start being my friend.