there's so much i need to say to you...
muahahaha. chris got a livejournal! probably just so he doesnt have to sneak onto mine to look at other people's livejournals! yes! i have a follower! i love you chris. oh so if you happen to be reading this, our families should totally get together and go out to dinner sometime. ive been thinking that for like ever now, but i thought my parents would be like, "psh, no, we're too lazy" and it turns out they fancied the idea. well, they accepted it at least. i dont see how anyone could NOT want to spend time with you and your family. hahaha. im quite positive i annoy the fuck out of you with how much i say that. moving on. since i am not only writing to you, my dearest chrissy wissy, im going to stop typing as if you are the only one reading this. so today was tuesday. this morning i actually woke up to my alarm and actually got my ass (and the rest of my body for that matter) out of bed by 7:19. that is precisely 5 minutes after my alarm goes off. props for me and my poor abused body. basically its really surprising that i was that successful mainly because i took 3 caffeine pills last night so they had worn off by the time i had to get up and i was crashing like no other. im pretty sure i almost fell asleep on the toilet... not a very good sign. THEN, after i was all clean and ready, i took my ass to my moms car and drove to mira costa high school for the fantastic art 1-2 class taught by sir reichart (sp?) that i am taking in order to obtain the art credits required for graduation. art was pretty typical... for the first half, kai was basically the only one in the class talking. me and the erins threw in a laugh or comment here or there, but we are slowly getting to know kai well enough that we could probably compile a novel about him (or at least about the last year and a half of his life). if it weren't for kai, the class would still sit in complete silence (minus the perverted KROQ morning talk show and the occassional instruction given by the instructor) for 4 hours, 5 days a week. so anyway, yes, there are two erins in that art class. that art class has about 20 kids in it and the two erins sit like right across from each other. i am also very thankful for the two erins. i knew one of them before the class met on that first tuesday. the other, along with kai, is going to be a sophomore next year. they arent annoying little freshmen though. had i stayed in ceramics, i would still be having to put up with annoying little freshmen. back to my day... after the first half of art, i went outside for my half hour break. i met up with nikki and eric as usual. i also desperately tried to stalk and find cara, as usual. please do not think i am a stalker because of this statement. i am so desperate to be around her because she has something i want. my problem is that im too chicken to ask. im pretty sure she thinks im using her because she avoids me as much as possible. so here ive managed to make and lose yet another friend within the limited hours of one week. oh, by the way, the thing she has is related to my previous entry relating to me being bored with my life and my innocence (it is related to the actual meaning, not the misinterpretted/perverted one). so yeah... after break, i went back to class for the second 2 hours. kai is only there for the first two, so the silence slips back into place after break. reichart released us at approximately 12:07, at which point i went to the bathroom and then proceeded to wait for cara (ever hopeful, i know) at that little place in the old front of the school. i called chris while i was waiting, but he didnt answer either line. thats okay though. ok, im sick of telling about my day. oh, so i took the last caffiene thing i had today. last night i went to savon and learned that you must be at least 18 to buy dieruetics. i was trying to buy these pills that give you energy and increase mental focus. apparently they burned fat as well, so i wasnt allowed to buy them. anyway, after school today i was walking to chris's house and decided to stop at lindberg nutrition to see if they enforced that same dumb law. i found some caffeine/guarana pills called "speed gels" and searched the bottle up, down, and side to side. it didnt say any where that you had to be 18. and joy! i then legally bought them. i took one earlier. it didnt do shit. i think ill try two tomorrow i suppose. i need to stop this caffiene thing. im gonna try to convince my psychiatrist to put me on some sort of concentration aid (preferably adderall, but i guess ill take what i can get) because i hate dozing off and losing my attention every 3 seconds. and i also need more energy, i dont care if its fake. wow. ive just been sitting here typing for like 30 minutes now. i havent done that in a while. i want a car, damnit! i have my last driving lesson tomorrow. yip! i go on the freeway. shall be interesante. im wearing popcorn boxers. i think they're from k-mart. my mom bought them for me when i was in the hospital. but thankfully they dont remind me of the hospital. ew. bad subject. anyhoo... i decided to wear this one skirt i have today. its short. i was tired. it was a bad combination. basically, i think i probably flashed chris about 10 times cuz i was trying to lie on his bed, but i kept forgetting i was wearing a skirt so id just relax. thankfully chris is not perverted. or if he is, hes not all immature about it. chris is going to make some lucky woman extremely happy one day. that bitch better be nice to him, or ill track her down and drown her in lotion and chicken feathers. well, that probably wouldnt do much, but she better be good to him. chris deserves the best possible. i feel so unworthy. but i trust him. thus, i trust that he would be honest with me and tell me if he wanted me to get the fuck out of his life, or anything of the sort. ahhhhhhhh! i pity you fools who do not know chris. at least the girls. guys arent that appreciative of other guys. so fuck that. well, straight guys anyway. ...insensitive bastards.... just kidding boys :D. wait, i just totally screwed that one over because chris is straight, volodya is straight, my grandpa is straight, dick is straight... they're all appreciative. and not only of tits and the asses belonging to those of the female gender. okay, im bored of this. farewell to manzanar and the rest of you sillies.