Friday once again
I live for Fridays I swear. It's not that I don't love my job. I do. I just wish it didn't take up so much of my time. I mean who decided on making the working class work five out of seven days a week? It seems that to be fair it should be three and a half, right? Heck, I'd take four days a week and three off! But no. 8 1/2 hours a day five days a week for about 23 years now....it gets taxing.
Last night ended up going to visit my ex-husband in the hospital and I'm glad I did. He looked really bad, but from what I'm told he looks better now than he did a few weeks ago. He suffers from an acute form of psorisis that affects not only his skin, but his joints, and his internal organs. THe poor guy is covered in scales that itch and crack, he can't walk because his ankle and knee joints are so swollen he can bare to put wait down, nor will they support him. On top of that what landed him in the hospital three weeks ago was that his instestines were so backed up that he nearly died. I joked with him and said, "see, I always knew you were full of shit!"
He was in good spirits for the most part. We laughed a lot and his long time buddy was there visiting and I had brought a mutual friend with me too. So it took the pressure off of it just being me and him. He told me regrets that we never had children and feels like if we had, I wouldn't have left him. No one can say for sure what would have been, but I'm pretty sure I still would have left, but I'd have done it in a better way in order to ease the children into it. But I didn't say that. I just deflected the comment.
He told me that I'm more confrontational now than I used to be. I told him I disagree. I said I am not confrontational, but I am more confident now and I'm no longer a doormat. He agreed, but he said, "you weren't a doormat." I said, "Please, I had WELCOME stamped on my forehead for crying out loud." He knows I was a doormat because he was one of the people wiping his feet on my face so to speak so many times during our marriage. It would be dangerous for him to admit that now, becuase then he'd have to take his share of the blame for the failure of our marriage. He doesn't want to do that. He wants to romanticize our life and that's fine. I know the truth, and I know he knows, it doesn't need to be said. Especially while he lays in a hospital bed looking very weak and vulnerable.
So tomorrow we have another Christmas party to go to. This time it is Chrissy's cousin and her girlfriend throwing it. I am about partied out to tell you the truth, but I know we must go and do our part to be merry!
I am looking forward to Christmas though. I tried hard to get Chrissy some stuff that I thought should would like and could use. Unfortunatey the one big present I got her, I found out accidentaly that she already has! It was a turntable with a built in CD player and radio. I guess it's good I found out before Christmas so I could take it back. So I didn't end up getting her one big thing, but a lot of smaller stuff. I got her a sweater, a new thermal lined hoodie, the Hunger Games DVD, Breaking Dawn Part 1 DVD, several WII games including one that has mini golf and one that has billards on it. I got her a new coffee pot because she hated mine with a passion. She prefers the kind that has a glass pot instead of mine that has no pot at all, but a push button you just hold your cup under. She said she can't tell how much is in there still and then ends up not drinking what was in there and wasting it. Oh and I got her a new date planer for 2013 and from Harry Potter, "Tales of Beedle the Bard." I think that's about it. I do need to get some stocking stuffers though.
Lastly I can't wait for Christmas cause I'm on vacation that whole week! Come on Christmas. :)
Last night ended up going to visit my ex-husband in the hospital and I'm glad I did. He looked really bad, but from what I'm told he looks better now than he did a few weeks ago. He suffers from an acute form of psorisis that affects not only his skin, but his joints, and his internal organs. THe poor guy is covered in scales that itch and crack, he can't walk because his ankle and knee joints are so swollen he can bare to put wait down, nor will they support him. On top of that what landed him in the hospital three weeks ago was that his instestines were so backed up that he nearly died. I joked with him and said, "see, I always knew you were full of shit!"
He was in good spirits for the most part. We laughed a lot and his long time buddy was there visiting and I had brought a mutual friend with me too. So it took the pressure off of it just being me and him. He told me regrets that we never had children and feels like if we had, I wouldn't have left him. No one can say for sure what would have been, but I'm pretty sure I still would have left, but I'd have done it in a better way in order to ease the children into it. But I didn't say that. I just deflected the comment.
He told me that I'm more confrontational now than I used to be. I told him I disagree. I said I am not confrontational, but I am more confident now and I'm no longer a doormat. He agreed, but he said, "you weren't a doormat." I said, "Please, I had WELCOME stamped on my forehead for crying out loud." He knows I was a doormat because he was one of the people wiping his feet on my face so to speak so many times during our marriage. It would be dangerous for him to admit that now, becuase then he'd have to take his share of the blame for the failure of our marriage. He doesn't want to do that. He wants to romanticize our life and that's fine. I know the truth, and I know he knows, it doesn't need to be said. Especially while he lays in a hospital bed looking very weak and vulnerable.
So tomorrow we have another Christmas party to go to. This time it is Chrissy's cousin and her girlfriend throwing it. I am about partied out to tell you the truth, but I know we must go and do our part to be merry!
I am looking forward to Christmas though. I tried hard to get Chrissy some stuff that I thought should would like and could use. Unfortunatey the one big present I got her, I found out accidentaly that she already has! It was a turntable with a built in CD player and radio. I guess it's good I found out before Christmas so I could take it back. So I didn't end up getting her one big thing, but a lot of smaller stuff. I got her a sweater, a new thermal lined hoodie, the Hunger Games DVD, Breaking Dawn Part 1 DVD, several WII games including one that has mini golf and one that has billards on it. I got her a new coffee pot because she hated mine with a passion. She prefers the kind that has a glass pot instead of mine that has no pot at all, but a push button you just hold your cup under. She said she can't tell how much is in there still and then ends up not drinking what was in there and wasting it. Oh and I got her a new date planer for 2013 and from Harry Potter, "Tales of Beedle the Bard." I think that's about it. I do need to get some stocking stuffers though.
Lastly I can't wait for Christmas cause I'm on vacation that whole week! Come on Christmas. :)