(no subject)
i spent the day walking around with my big fucking headphones on. i couldnt help thinking a couple things. that life is better with a soundtrack. but also that technology both literally and figuratively cuts us off from each other. i was happy alone with hip hop blasting into my skull, i worked better, didnt even have to worry about red haired midgits yelling at me cause i couldnt fucking hear them. but what does that do, or say really, if im the most happy and productive with the most accurate sound reproduction available straped to my head.
tim wilson is getting to me.
i wish there was more art in policy debate. fuck it, i wish there was more art in life and i wish i was part of it. i find myself enamored by the prospect of doing "angels in america" with alex because im so starved for creativity. i spend to much of my life filling out forms and participating in bullshit literary discussions. i live for those moments, not just in some pretentious and obscure vision of dark lights, smoke and coffee, but those moments of connection in creativy. not so serious, but alive. this school (and i really mean this program) has an amazing ability to beat real learning out of you. but ill fight back and play their game. i can sit on a lunch table and look at the works of an artist 100 years dead and talk with an artist with brilliant ideas and i want so much to reach out and tell her how much i wish to be part of what she does, i live for those moments and ill strave untill i get another.
sometimes i think Fort Hays has it right:
"Welcome to the Art Slam! Sittin here in Kansas talkin about foreign policy, FUCK FOREIGN POLICY!"
thats's a goddamn debate round.
i kinda wish i was going to homecoming, i never get to fucking dance.
My to do list today is to turn the party out.
Getting hot in here.
No room to breathe.
I got my pen in my hand, so you best not sleep.