Diary IMPORT calls for entry EXPORT! (X-Posted from OD)
I can't believe my FOD finally imported :) I originally stopped in to try writing an entry, and since I have been trying to import for several weeks (since joining), that DEFINITELY called for an entry export!
There is something about this new Open Diary (still minus digital camera, however) that sincerely intrigues and excites me, and yet, there is something that frightens me. Perhaps I am afraid of it becoming an obsession. Or that I will only begin to live my life through the words I type into the white box. I am not sure of what's causing the anxiety. I just know it's there.
But then again, there's angst and anxiety everywhere.
And then there's this gambling thing which I really need to explore more within myself. Sadly, the casino has made my life feel more full. But, I guess what's really happened is that I've avoided my "real" life, and have often thus felt happier. I know there's something unhealthy with it all. Especially when I look back on the summer... and I realize how little I accomplished. But hell, I sure gambled a lot! Hours and hours on end... often several days a week. It bothers me now. But it didn't then. And it doesn't when I am there. But looking back, it sickens me to see the time that has been wasted... to see that the money I always gained there, I only spent back there (probably more than $1000 during the entire three months... between what I won, then spent back, then won again, spent back again. sick cycle).
I don't know. It has been a rough night, and I haven't slept. Anxiety. Angst. All over the place.
But my diary finally imported, notes and all. And now I'm exporting an entry. Hopefully I can export into my bed too. No, really, I'm glad that the FOD imported. Even though I still feel very empty and emotional (is that oxymoronic?) in real life, I feel much more full and complete on OD. I felt I had to have the FOD here for it to really be me.
So here I am. I think.