Got a huge kick out of this...
So, my former calculus teacher from high school (who works at the same school where Suzi is the current Trust counselor) sent this email out to Suzi and a few other staff members. I got a HUGE kick out of it. In fact, I can't stop reading it, re-reading it and laughing. She's this pale, small Jewish woman who wears long, flowing, usually-floral print dresses and has a huge affinity for anything Hello Kitty. Her seemingly sweet appearance is in stark contrast to her ridiculous demeanor, facial expressions and commentary. She was often such a bitch way back when, but she was always equally hilarious. Such a pip. Anyway, here goes:
I'm not sure who can help me so I am sending this to several of you in hopes someone can tell me what to do. I have a student who has hygiene issues? . . or appropriateness issues?? I'm really not sure who can help me or what I should do . . I feel my education degree did not cover this . . so here goes . .
First there was the BOIL in her armpit . . for 2 weeks she sat in class with her arm in her shirt, thru her bra, so she could try to POP her boil while I was teaching. . . she just sat squeezing her boil staring at me with a blank expression ALL period while I taught . . .
Next was the big CANKER SORE insider her lower lip . . this lasted a week or so . . she spent all class period these days holding her lower lip out with 2 hands as she mushed her lip around trying to ??? g-d knows what with the canker sore!!
Then there is the touching issue, where I need to seat her surrounded by empty desks because she will reach out and POKE anyone within reach . . . the entire class shrieks if she is placed near them
. . and the latest is her new hair . . she now spends all period alternately smacking her head with both hands . . OR with both hands shoved UP in her hair VIGOROUSLY scratching her scalp with all 10 nails . . (this was not isolated or lasting for several seconds . . this was ALL period!! steadily!!) . then she progressed to vigorously rubbing the back of her head against my bulletin board behind her to scratch!! . . and this lovely behavior culminated in . . . wait for it . . . wait for it . . HER PLUGGING IN HER FLAT IRON IN CLASS TO FIX IT!!! I CAUGHT HER TRYING TO FLAT IRON HER HAIR THAT SHE HAD CRUMPLED WITH HER SCRATCHING!!!!! (this was period 7 yesterday)
OMG please someone help me!! I always address her/address the misbehavior. I'm not sure WHAT to say - so I ask her to "take care of her personal needs outside of class - not in class!" . . and she always looks at me like I'm an alien and replies with a vacant "what??" then plainly tells me . . "but it itches I have to scratch" etc . . ahhhh!! During the BOIL era she wouldn't even remove her hand from her bra while I was telling her!!
Who can help?? Is this a referral thing? A discipline thing?? Does she need to be tested? Do I need to be tested?? Is this a social services thing?? I feel like I don't want to TOUCH anything she has touched. I bought a HUGE vat of hand sanitizer because of her. I NEED HELP . . .please advise!!! Her name is _____ (insert obligatory African American female name), 11th grade.
I'm not sure who can help me so I am sending this to several of you in hopes someone can tell me what to do. I have a student who has hygiene issues? . . or appropriateness issues?? I'm really not sure who can help me or what I should do . . I feel my education degree did not cover this . . so here goes . .
First there was the BOIL in her armpit . . for 2 weeks she sat in class with her arm in her shirt, thru her bra, so she could try to POP her boil while I was teaching. . . she just sat squeezing her boil staring at me with a blank expression ALL period while I taught . . .
Next was the big CANKER SORE insider her lower lip . . this lasted a week or so . . she spent all class period these days holding her lower lip out with 2 hands as she mushed her lip around trying to ??? g-d knows what with the canker sore!!
Then there is the touching issue, where I need to seat her surrounded by empty desks because she will reach out and POKE anyone within reach . . . the entire class shrieks if she is placed near them
. . and the latest is her new hair . . she now spends all period alternately smacking her head with both hands . . OR with both hands shoved UP in her hair VIGOROUSLY scratching her scalp with all 10 nails . . (this was not isolated or lasting for several seconds . . this was ALL period!! steadily!!) . then she progressed to vigorously rubbing the back of her head against my bulletin board behind her to scratch!! . . and this lovely behavior culminated in . . . wait for it . . . wait for it . . HER PLUGGING IN HER FLAT IRON IN CLASS TO FIX IT!!! I CAUGHT HER TRYING TO FLAT IRON HER HAIR THAT SHE HAD CRUMPLED WITH HER SCRATCHING!!!!! (this was period 7 yesterday)
OMG please someone help me!! I always address her/address the misbehavior. I'm not sure WHAT to say - so I ask her to "take care of her personal needs outside of class - not in class!" . . and she always looks at me like I'm an alien and replies with a vacant "what??" then plainly tells me . . "but it itches I have to scratch" etc . . ahhhh!! During the BOIL era she wouldn't even remove her hand from her bra while I was telling her!!
Who can help?? Is this a referral thing? A discipline thing?? Does she need to be tested? Do I need to be tested?? Is this a social services thing?? I feel like I don't want to TOUCH anything she has touched. I bought a HUGE vat of hand sanitizer because of her. I NEED HELP . . .please advise!!! Her name is _____ (insert obligatory African American female name), 11th grade.