Random stuff
So, I really, really need to change my LiveJournal user name. It feels less and less fitting by the day -- it's just so horribly outdated. I mentioned something about it a few months back, but still haven't gotten around to paying for it. My paypal account has like 5 bucks in it, so I think I'm going to list some things on ebay and hope for the best.
In other news:
-My job is out-of-control-sucky. I have been walking out with 30-40 dollars on many nights, and that simply doesn't pay the enormous bills that I have right now. My phone is ringing off the hook with collection calls. It's overwhelming. My first instinct is to gamble to make up the shortfall, but I'd probably just end up creating a bigger one. I'm desperate. And there's a brand, brand new guy who has been given a bar shift. Bar shifts are reserved for "senior people." It's all about senority, but then you give this guy a bar shift his first night on the floor? Really?! The animosity toward management is growing by the day. I don't know how much longer I can make it there.
-Genny (my longest running friend), thank goodness, is back from serving in Korea. She'll be here for 18 days and I'm not sure if she's going back after that. I'll see her on Friday at her party and am guessing we'll do Kyojin at some point. We have such a shared past. I'm am just so, so thankful for her return and for the sweet message she left on my phone last week. Cannot wait to see her.
-I'm also excited to know that Brittany is coming back to visit in a week, even under some shitty circumstances. I'm sure we'll have a "bomb.com" time and it'll be nice just to have someone around that is super laid back and fun to be with. Thinking about potentially trying to have a party on July 2nd. Don't know if that'll work out or not, but maybe.
-The TRUE group has gone really well the past two times. I am getting really close to some of the people. They lead incredibly empowering lives and I'm so inspired by their strength. Even if I do not move forward in the exploration of my own gender stuff, I get the sense that I'm establishing some lifelong friendships.
-Hoping, seriously, to catch up on my Jack updates soon. The pile just keeps growing.
-Lyle and Patrick are out of town for the next week and will be coming back with a dog/cat. I haven't been home much, but perhaps having pets will change the house dynamic some. I feel like things are still quite weird between Pat and I and I am not sure how to fix it, or if it's even worth the trouble. I do care about him, but I'm not sure if he knows that or if it's mutual. Ideally, I'd like to get past the weirdness and create a space that all of us can feel comfort and safety in for the next eight months. I don't want to part on weird/bad terms ... Lyle still holds a huge place in my heart and I don't want to lose my friendship with him.
-Feel like I'm really out of touch with some of my friends and am hoping to spend some more time with them in the upcoming month or so. I'm starting by having dinner with Mego tomorrow night. Also, a bunch of people are moving away and I feel like I really should concentrate on hanging out with them before it's too late.
-Can't think of anything else to write here, so I guess that means I'm done.
In other news:
-My job is out-of-control-sucky. I have been walking out with 30-40 dollars on many nights, and that simply doesn't pay the enormous bills that I have right now. My phone is ringing off the hook with collection calls. It's overwhelming. My first instinct is to gamble to make up the shortfall, but I'd probably just end up creating a bigger one. I'm desperate. And there's a brand, brand new guy who has been given a bar shift. Bar shifts are reserved for "senior people." It's all about senority, but then you give this guy a bar shift his first night on the floor? Really?! The animosity toward management is growing by the day. I don't know how much longer I can make it there.
-Genny (my longest running friend), thank goodness, is back from serving in Korea. She'll be here for 18 days and I'm not sure if she's going back after that. I'll see her on Friday at her party and am guessing we'll do Kyojin at some point. We have such a shared past. I'm am just so, so thankful for her return and for the sweet message she left on my phone last week. Cannot wait to see her.
-I'm also excited to know that Brittany is coming back to visit in a week, even under some shitty circumstances. I'm sure we'll have a "bomb.com" time and it'll be nice just to have someone around that is super laid back and fun to be with. Thinking about potentially trying to have a party on July 2nd. Don't know if that'll work out or not, but maybe.
-The TRUE group has gone really well the past two times. I am getting really close to some of the people. They lead incredibly empowering lives and I'm so inspired by their strength. Even if I do not move forward in the exploration of my own gender stuff, I get the sense that I'm establishing some lifelong friendships.
-Hoping, seriously, to catch up on my Jack updates soon. The pile just keeps growing.
-Lyle and Patrick are out of town for the next week and will be coming back with a dog/cat. I haven't been home much, but perhaps having pets will change the house dynamic some. I feel like things are still quite weird between Pat and I and I am not sure how to fix it, or if it's even worth the trouble. I do care about him, but I'm not sure if he knows that or if it's mutual. Ideally, I'd like to get past the weirdness and create a space that all of us can feel comfort and safety in for the next eight months. I don't want to part on weird/bad terms ... Lyle still holds a huge place in my heart and I don't want to lose my friendship with him.
-Feel like I'm really out of touch with some of my friends and am hoping to spend some more time with them in the upcoming month or so. I'm starting by having dinner with Mego tomorrow night. Also, a bunch of people are moving away and I feel like I really should concentrate on hanging out with them before it's too late.
-Can't think of anything else to write here, so I guess that means I'm done.