Born again, for the first time.
I am just an infant in this vast Live Journal world, and this is my first entry.
Today was like any other Tuesday. I awoke to the sound of high pitched beeps. I live in a world where nothing belongs to me, not even my mind. I do not- nor can not- make my own decisions. I am told when to rise up from my sleep and when to fall back into my vast visions of subconscious. None the less I arose. Went to class, to further my studies in information that is irrelevant to time or space. I learn to create two dimensional pieces of fruit that will not longer exist by the time i am finished on this earth. Then I discussed the meaning of plagiarism so that I may never repeat what has been written by those who came before me. The irony of it is that I never wanted to. Nor do I want to now that I have been told that I cannot.
Math- is a joke. A little lady stands in from of a room filled with 'eager young minds' and rambles on about probabilities that are not even probable. I don’t really understand the point of college. I am supposed to get an education, and get a job and make money. So that I may start a family and raise some children. That way they may have a good childhood, and go to the finest schools and get the best education, and repeat all the shit over again. And they will have children who will have children. But why? Why should we do something that causes such a reaction, when we don’t even know what’s its for? We don’t know why we are here. In this town, in this state, on this planet, existing at all. And we certainly don’t know when we will no longer exist, or if we actually exist.
If I do exist in a real world. I’m not alone. That’s a good thing I suppose. I have friends that exist with me. Telling me that I need to be here, in this town, in this state. Here and now. But still I question.
I didn’t see much of Jorge today, busy with his love I suppose. Jorge is my best friend most of the time. I’m not too comfortable with the concept of a 'best friend.' What does it mean? What does it mean I am supposed to do? Whatever it is, Jorge makes me do it. He keeps me here, in the real world and time. But I’m not a big fan of his significant other. I don’t know the kid, not in this life. For he takes away my shield and my anchor. Leaving me vulnerable to my own mental anguish. Don’t get me wrong, I have other friends. One in particular has been appearing more frequently in my story. He is older than me but doesn’t treat me like a minor. Hihreson is truly an amazing person. I’m not sure if he is aware of it, but he is quite the photographer. I haven’t know him all that long, but I’m sure it won’t be long before he is joining me in my reality. I have a photo critique on Thursday, and I am extremely stressed. And I hate to be stressed. When I get overwhelmed like this it feels as if I am being pulled in two directions; one way by what one would consider reality and then in the other direction toward the world I live in. Of course I would love to go and hide in my world, away from real world reality. But I cant always do that.
My world isn’t perfect, but it’s better than this one. Unfortunately the problems that I am afflicted with in my head are caused by this world, negative images that seep when my eyes are shut.
Today was like any other Tuesday. I awoke to the sound of high pitched beeps. I live in a world where nothing belongs to me, not even my mind. I do not- nor can not- make my own decisions. I am told when to rise up from my sleep and when to fall back into my vast visions of subconscious. None the less I arose. Went to class, to further my studies in information that is irrelevant to time or space. I learn to create two dimensional pieces of fruit that will not longer exist by the time i am finished on this earth. Then I discussed the meaning of plagiarism so that I may never repeat what has been written by those who came before me. The irony of it is that I never wanted to. Nor do I want to now that I have been told that I cannot.
Math- is a joke. A little lady stands in from of a room filled with 'eager young minds' and rambles on about probabilities that are not even probable. I don’t really understand the point of college. I am supposed to get an education, and get a job and make money. So that I may start a family and raise some children. That way they may have a good childhood, and go to the finest schools and get the best education, and repeat all the shit over again. And they will have children who will have children. But why? Why should we do something that causes such a reaction, when we don’t even know what’s its for? We don’t know why we are here. In this town, in this state, on this planet, existing at all. And we certainly don’t know when we will no longer exist, or if we actually exist.
If I do exist in a real world. I’m not alone. That’s a good thing I suppose. I have friends that exist with me. Telling me that I need to be here, in this town, in this state. Here and now. But still I question.
I didn’t see much of Jorge today, busy with his love I suppose. Jorge is my best friend most of the time. I’m not too comfortable with the concept of a 'best friend.' What does it mean? What does it mean I am supposed to do? Whatever it is, Jorge makes me do it. He keeps me here, in the real world and time. But I’m not a big fan of his significant other. I don’t know the kid, not in this life. For he takes away my shield and my anchor. Leaving me vulnerable to my own mental anguish. Don’t get me wrong, I have other friends. One in particular has been appearing more frequently in my story. He is older than me but doesn’t treat me like a minor. Hihreson is truly an amazing person. I’m not sure if he is aware of it, but he is quite the photographer. I haven’t know him all that long, but I’m sure it won’t be long before he is joining me in my reality. I have a photo critique on Thursday, and I am extremely stressed. And I hate to be stressed. When I get overwhelmed like this it feels as if I am being pulled in two directions; one way by what one would consider reality and then in the other direction toward the world I live in. Of course I would love to go and hide in my world, away from real world reality. But I cant always do that.
My world isn’t perfect, but it’s better than this one. Unfortunately the problems that I am afflicted with in my head are caused by this world, negative images that seep when my eyes are shut.