Junior Year Part One
*I did NOT proof read this message. Sorry if you cannot understand parts of it*
All right, this entry may be long and all over the place. I am also tired and I need to get new contacts and glasses ASAP so it will probably not be grammatically correct, but then again my entries usually never are. I debated writing this entry, but I figured it would make me feel better, and I know so many of my friends read this and only having to go through all of this stuff once and have everyone know about it makes it easier. So, here I go.......
Where do I begin when asked about my junior year......I guess I have to start by saying it was one of the greatest years of my life because I grew so much throughout the year. I came back to Scranton with a whole new outlook on life. Over the summer I did a lot of thinking, and I realized what was important in life, and what I should really be concerned with. Scranton wouldn't be Scranton without drama, but I managed to stay out of it, and not care about the stupid stuff happening around me because it was not important. One of the greatest experiences I have had was stage managing for Sheila. I had suck a great time working with her, and I learned so much from her. When she left I missed our long talks after rehearsal, and our brunch and dinner dates. I also missed going to the bar with her and having her tell people I was her daughter, or hanging out until really late at night/early morning in Hill house with her. Sheila taught me a lot about life, and I will forever be grateful that I had the opportunity to become so close to her. This year I also had someone who holds a VERY special place in my heart in my life. That person is Mr. C. Ryan Joyce. He has taught me so much about life, and has been an unbelievable source of inspiration to me. When asked my happiest memory from Junior year I always answer dancing with C. Ryan at his house to the Christmas Song. Second semester I quickly learned that my "new attitude" was not as great as I thought it was. I was suddenly not able to cry when loved ones passed away. I blew off everything that had been going wrong, and that all came back to haunt me. I started to use the quote, "Others have excuses, I have my reasons" a little too much. I did not think anyone should know what exactly was going on in my life and I painted on a smile every day and made everyone believe I was as happy as I always was. I mean I'm Jenn Glenn, I HAVE to be happy. The theatre started to get really weird second semester, and it seemed like a few people were getting too big for the breeches. It is at this point when I "turned over to the dark side." I, Jennifer Ann Glenn, started talking to Aquinas boys more often, and I was actually in a Studio Series with them! The truth is that I have always been intrigued by them. I will admit that I made fun of their paper all of the time sophomore year, and I used it to put on the bench when it was wet so I could sit down. My interest with the Aquinas boys began at the Valentines Day dance last year. Chris Boltinghouse, Chris Dougherty, and Mike Webster were there with a red flash light spreading the "light of love" or something. I remember meeting them outside of the Byron and thinking that they were CRAZY. I believe I said something like, "I now know why The Aquinas is so messed up, look at the Editor and Chief running around with a red flash light calling it the light of love. Normal people do not so things like this." Soon after that I started seeing them out at parties. I started talking to Mike Webster, and I realized that he is a really awesome guy. Boltinghouse was a little out there, but overall I guess the aquinas boys were not that bad. Okay so that was basically last year, now moving on to this year......
So I start seeing them out at parties, and then I do the studio series with them. I found them to be a pleasant change to the theatre which was frustrating me more and more. I also found one of them to be exceptionally intriguing.....blah blah blah, I start to care for him a lot....blah blah blah.....people misinterpret things, people speak on my behalf, things get screwed up, I try to fix them, bad phone conversation, I begin to hate myself slightly, I get bad advice, things get more screwed up, people like to stare which I find to be a little weird, more people say things, the situation upsets me a lot, I get physically ill from all of it, we play the he said she said game a little bit more, then we play the I like you you like me wait I don't like you game, the aquinas boy who I once though was crazy now thinks I am nuts, I start to have serious feelings for this person (I still don't know why.....maybe it was the phone conversation we had where he basically made me feel like the biggest idiot and my opinions or feelings didn't matter), I start to really like/care for/adore the boy who the mere thought of makes me insane yet the thought of him leaving Scranton or our weird little situation makes me want to cry. Now I am all sorts of frustrated with the situation. I am frustrated that I like this person so much, I am frustrated that other people got involved, I am frustrated that after a not so pleasant phone conversation I allowed him to make me feel as though my feelings did not matter, I am frustrated that I did not listen when warned to stay away from him, I am frustrated that I allow the thought of him to make my nerves freak out yet I would give anything in the world to erase the recent past and get to know him better as friends. I guess I am just so unbelievably frustrated that I care so much. Grrrrrr......
Okay, now on to graduation.......
I told Brianna and Liz before our last day in Scranton to take a look around as they walked down the commons because there are a lot of people they have grown accustomed to seeing everyday that they may never see again. I did not realize how true my words were until the mass on Saturday. I never realized so many people that I used to say hello to everyday were leaving. The mass was beautiful, and after the mass Mary Alice's father thanked me for being such a good friend to his daughter the past 3 years. I was almost in tears after that. Graduation day came, and it was not as bad as I expected it to be. I was depressed for a little while during the ceremony, but I was more excited and proud for all of my friends. We cheered so loud for everyone, and Fr. Pilarz made comments about us being a fan club. Everything was fine until I started thinking about really happened Sunday afternoon. All at once it finally set in that 90% of my friends graduated. I now feel like I am stuck on this emotional roller coaster and I can't get off. It shouldn't be this hard, I don't graduate until next year, this is not the end. However, it really is the end of the greatest 3 years of my life. I feel so lucky that I cannot even begin to name all of the people who mean so much to me that graduated in this entry because it would take forever and the list would be huge. I wish there was a way that I could let everyone know just how much I love and care for them. Scranton will never be the same, and I do not know of I am ready to deal with that. Soon I will begin my fourth summer of working in campus. I cannot believe that it is going to be my last. It seems like just last summer was orientation, and now I am going to begin my senior year. Times goes by way to fast, and all of this change is killing me. I know change is a part of life, but a lot of change is happening at once and it is a difficult to deal with at the moment. Campus is full of so many memories, and this summer it is going to be all sorts of emotional knowing that some of the people I love most in the world will not be back. God I hate this sooooooo much!
One thing I noticed in the past 3 years is that you find comfort, strength, and happiness in the strangest places. Sunday I found all 3 in Sparkie. I am so glad I have another year to spend with her. She is crazy fun, and she knows what it is like to have so many things going on in your life but not be able to explain them to anyone. Being crazy and partying with Sparkie is def. one of the things I am looking forward to most for this coming school year.
I received a voice mail from Dale today which made me want to stop time in the worst way. Dale is one of the greatest people I have ever met, and I think when it comes down to it I am going to miss him the most.
Okay, I need to stop this now before I start to cry.......
I will write a happy end of junior year entry tomorrow
The hours to quickly slip away and mingle into years, but memories of our Scranton days will last whatever next appears....
To all of my friends who graduated yesterday:
I love you all more than you will ever know. Remember, this is NOT goodbye! Thank you for making the past 3 years the greatest years of my life *mwah
All right, this entry may be long and all over the place. I am also tired and I need to get new contacts and glasses ASAP so it will probably not be grammatically correct, but then again my entries usually never are. I debated writing this entry, but I figured it would make me feel better, and I know so many of my friends read this and only having to go through all of this stuff once and have everyone know about it makes it easier. So, here I go.......
Where do I begin when asked about my junior year......I guess I have to start by saying it was one of the greatest years of my life because I grew so much throughout the year. I came back to Scranton with a whole new outlook on life. Over the summer I did a lot of thinking, and I realized what was important in life, and what I should really be concerned with. Scranton wouldn't be Scranton without drama, but I managed to stay out of it, and not care about the stupid stuff happening around me because it was not important. One of the greatest experiences I have had was stage managing for Sheila. I had suck a great time working with her, and I learned so much from her. When she left I missed our long talks after rehearsal, and our brunch and dinner dates. I also missed going to the bar with her and having her tell people I was her daughter, or hanging out until really late at night/early morning in Hill house with her. Sheila taught me a lot about life, and I will forever be grateful that I had the opportunity to become so close to her. This year I also had someone who holds a VERY special place in my heart in my life. That person is Mr. C. Ryan Joyce. He has taught me so much about life, and has been an unbelievable source of inspiration to me. When asked my happiest memory from Junior year I always answer dancing with C. Ryan at his house to the Christmas Song. Second semester I quickly learned that my "new attitude" was not as great as I thought it was. I was suddenly not able to cry when loved ones passed away. I blew off everything that had been going wrong, and that all came back to haunt me. I started to use the quote, "Others have excuses, I have my reasons" a little too much. I did not think anyone should know what exactly was going on in my life and I painted on a smile every day and made everyone believe I was as happy as I always was. I mean I'm Jenn Glenn, I HAVE to be happy. The theatre started to get really weird second semester, and it seemed like a few people were getting too big for the breeches. It is at this point when I "turned over to the dark side." I, Jennifer Ann Glenn, started talking to Aquinas boys more often, and I was actually in a Studio Series with them! The truth is that I have always been intrigued by them. I will admit that I made fun of their paper all of the time sophomore year, and I used it to put on the bench when it was wet so I could sit down. My interest with the Aquinas boys began at the Valentines Day dance last year. Chris Boltinghouse, Chris Dougherty, and Mike Webster were there with a red flash light spreading the "light of love" or something. I remember meeting them outside of the Byron and thinking that they were CRAZY. I believe I said something like, "I now know why The Aquinas is so messed up, look at the Editor and Chief running around with a red flash light calling it the light of love. Normal people do not so things like this." Soon after that I started seeing them out at parties. I started talking to Mike Webster, and I realized that he is a really awesome guy. Boltinghouse was a little out there, but overall I guess the aquinas boys were not that bad. Okay so that was basically last year, now moving on to this year......
So I start seeing them out at parties, and then I do the studio series with them. I found them to be a pleasant change to the theatre which was frustrating me more and more. I also found one of them to be exceptionally intriguing.....blah blah blah, I start to care for him a lot....blah blah blah.....people misinterpret things, people speak on my behalf, things get screwed up, I try to fix them, bad phone conversation, I begin to hate myself slightly, I get bad advice, things get more screwed up, people like to stare which I find to be a little weird, more people say things, the situation upsets me a lot, I get physically ill from all of it, we play the he said she said game a little bit more, then we play the I like you you like me wait I don't like you game, the aquinas boy who I once though was crazy now thinks I am nuts, I start to have serious feelings for this person (I still don't know why.....maybe it was the phone conversation we had where he basically made me feel like the biggest idiot and my opinions or feelings didn't matter), I start to really like/care for/adore the boy who the mere thought of makes me insane yet the thought of him leaving Scranton or our weird little situation makes me want to cry. Now I am all sorts of frustrated with the situation. I am frustrated that I like this person so much, I am frustrated that other people got involved, I am frustrated that after a not so pleasant phone conversation I allowed him to make me feel as though my feelings did not matter, I am frustrated that I did not listen when warned to stay away from him, I am frustrated that I allow the thought of him to make my nerves freak out yet I would give anything in the world to erase the recent past and get to know him better as friends. I guess I am just so unbelievably frustrated that I care so much. Grrrrrr......
Okay, now on to graduation.......
I told Brianna and Liz before our last day in Scranton to take a look around as they walked down the commons because there are a lot of people they have grown accustomed to seeing everyday that they may never see again. I did not realize how true my words were until the mass on Saturday. I never realized so many people that I used to say hello to everyday were leaving. The mass was beautiful, and after the mass Mary Alice's father thanked me for being such a good friend to his daughter the past 3 years. I was almost in tears after that. Graduation day came, and it was not as bad as I expected it to be. I was depressed for a little while during the ceremony, but I was more excited and proud for all of my friends. We cheered so loud for everyone, and Fr. Pilarz made comments about us being a fan club. Everything was fine until I started thinking about really happened Sunday afternoon. All at once it finally set in that 90% of my friends graduated. I now feel like I am stuck on this emotional roller coaster and I can't get off. It shouldn't be this hard, I don't graduate until next year, this is not the end. However, it really is the end of the greatest 3 years of my life. I feel so lucky that I cannot even begin to name all of the people who mean so much to me that graduated in this entry because it would take forever and the list would be huge. I wish there was a way that I could let everyone know just how much I love and care for them. Scranton will never be the same, and I do not know of I am ready to deal with that. Soon I will begin my fourth summer of working in campus. I cannot believe that it is going to be my last. It seems like just last summer was orientation, and now I am going to begin my senior year. Times goes by way to fast, and all of this change is killing me. I know change is a part of life, but a lot of change is happening at once and it is a difficult to deal with at the moment. Campus is full of so many memories, and this summer it is going to be all sorts of emotional knowing that some of the people I love most in the world will not be back. God I hate this sooooooo much!
One thing I noticed in the past 3 years is that you find comfort, strength, and happiness in the strangest places. Sunday I found all 3 in Sparkie. I am so glad I have another year to spend with her. She is crazy fun, and she knows what it is like to have so many things going on in your life but not be able to explain them to anyone. Being crazy and partying with Sparkie is def. one of the things I am looking forward to most for this coming school year.
I received a voice mail from Dale today which made me want to stop time in the worst way. Dale is one of the greatest people I have ever met, and I think when it comes down to it I am going to miss him the most.
Okay, I need to stop this now before I start to cry.......
I will write a happy end of junior year entry tomorrow
The hours to quickly slip away and mingle into years, but memories of our Scranton days will last whatever next appears....
To all of my friends who graduated yesterday:
I love you all more than you will ever know. Remember, this is NOT goodbye! Thank you for making the past 3 years the greatest years of my life *mwah