(no subject)
so ive hung out with this new guy alot the past couple weeks..and us hanging out means ive stayed the night at his house everytime..except this one time. but anyway i think i really like him..and he told me he likes me and hes getting attached and likes me in his life. its hard with kurt being the way he is being but its understandable because he still loves me alot and i really hurt him. but i cant control how my mind feels or thinks. and this is something that had to be done. i guess i did really just need something new and bring those butterflys back again to be honest.
i guess its easy to falll out of love at such a young age..because im 19..when i say i need to explore i dont mean fuck every guy i see. but just challenge myself and meet new people because if i dont ill be missing out on life. i have plenty of time in the future to have kids (which i do want..a baby girl :)) and start a family and settle down but not quite yet.
and i do really like this new guy..yeah hes 25 and has two kids..which i have to say he has the cutest baby possible..this baby boy is soooo adorable. dark hair and big blue eyes..and it does nothing but smile. so last saturday night i stayed at this guys house and he had his baby and of course babys cry throughout the night..well his baby is sick which is sad so he needs attention..and it always sleeps with him in the bed which is so cute. but me and him always sleep together so he puts the baby in his crib which is right next to us but the baby keeps getting up and puttin his hands up and hes like aww baby do you wana come up here..so puts the baby between me and him. god this baby kept poking me and toucvhing me the whole night it was soo fucking cute haha i would just wake up and laugh about it cause its soo funny. and who can get mad at this boy at 3 in the morning cause hes soo adorable. its like 3 in the morning and i feel something poking my face and my lips and im like wtf chad and open my eyes and theres these big blue eyes (his baby jackson) and a smile looking at me god it was cute haha :). i know ive never beeen with a guy with kids and i never in my life thought i would be till i had the kids..but its not so bad..and chad is such an incredible father who puts his kids first and everything else in the world comes second. but anyway
i guess im falling for him..well see where everything takes us..for right now its fun. i think our whole work knows about us (cause we work together). but its funny and makes everything more interested when were trying to keep this all a secret from everyone and having inside jokes that no one at work knows what the hell were talking about. anyway im rambling i could go on but i need to stop ha. im at work..i should do something :) peace!