Samp Spam
(I really think it might be time.)
Like some wag wrote on a sign posted outside the Franchi after the match, "It's very well to save the children, but who will save us?" Cos this is just really, really grim.
Playing a 4-4-1-1, La Viola started amazingly well and were deservedly ahead after less than 10 minutes. It was harder going in the second half, though, and as soon as adversity raised its angry head -- in the form, in this case, of a lovely free kick goal by Ziegler -- the boys in purple yellow completely folded, giving up another inside a minute and ending the day in tears in the locker room, and in last place in the table.
Is it a blessing or a curse that it's only the seventh week of the season?
Sampdoria 2-1 Fiorentina [highlights|tactical analysis|pagelle: Gazzetta, Corriere Fiorentino|ratings table]
Reti: 6' p.t. Marchionni, 36’ s.t. Ziegler, 38’ s.t. Cassano.
Sampdoria: Curci; Zauri, Gastaldello, Lucchini (3' s.t. Accardi), Ziegler; Semioli (1' s.t. Koman), Palombo, Tissone (33’ s.t. Marilungo), Guberti; Cassano, Pazzini.
Fiorentina: Frey; Comotto, Natali, Gamberini, Gulan (14' s.t. Felipe); Marchionni, Santana, Donadel, Vargas (27' p.t. Pasqual); Ljajic (23' s.t. Cerci); Gilardino.
Is Snisa hiding a neck brace under there? Why the blanket-sized scarf?
Ah, got it -- he wants to make sure his clothes continue to make it look like his frame is shaped like an upsidedown triangle. Of course.
Awwwwwwww. Is there any coach Cassano doesn't like?
Sinisa and the entire bench: *grimly contemplate the future*
While Corvino wished he was somewhere -- anywhere -- else.
And not just because he was unexpectedly sat next to Ben Stein.
The tifosi were up in the rafters.
They demonstrated admirable, if naive, purpleness and enthusiasm.
Gila always expects the worst, it's just how he's wired. But, these days? He's really, really expecting the worst.
For the record, the fail was nothing to do with the Frenchie in black.
Cos he made some huge saves.
Including this stoning of Cassano 1 v 1.
You know that shit doesn't happen very often.
Check it -- even Cheetos was impressed.
Comotto got his first start of the season on the right, presumably because LDS picked up a knock against Palermo, then played 210 minutes for the Azzurrini in four days. He needed a rest.
And he actually did ok, believe it or not. Plus, he got a card for just kicking the crap out of a guy to stop the counter in injury time -- Captain Donadel musta been proud.
Poor Gambero.
Seems like the poor man struggles far more often than not these days. What happened to the Azzurri defender that used to live inside him (in a non-creepy way)?
Next to Gambit, Natali was regulating the shit out of Pazzo.
And Cassano, as well, who apparently felt great agony every time he grabbed Natali's kit.
He really just does not give a fuck -- not subtle, but also never intimidated or cautious, which at least makes opposing attackers know they're going into a fight.
Gazzetta said they wish all of Fiorentina had his toughness.
While Pazzo is very glad they don't, since he had to rely on Mighty Marco to drag him away when he tried to start a fight with Natali. Marco was like "Seriously. Have you seen him, you asshat?"
Gulan and his funny head got their first career start on the left. Take that, Pasqual and Natali.
He did, I dunno, ok? He wasn't awful, but also failed to magically make the defense less crap that it's been all season so far. Which is unsurprising, if still sort of a bummer.
Since every central midfield on the roster not named "Donadel" was either hurt or suspended, Santana had to take one for the team and play out of position.
Considering the circumstances, he did alright -- made some important interceptions around the box, and also got to wrestle with Dogfish, the lucky sod.
You know what's depressing?
Apart, I mean, from all these people getting to grope Dogfish, and not being able to do it myself ourselves?
What's depressing is that, simply by turning up for work every day and trying, Donadel has suddenly become one of the few players we can actually count on.
I mean, it's awesome for him, and as a captain he's reassuringly bossy, but my god does it say grim things about everyone else. Le sigh.
Look, Vargas! He's back and, from the look of the way he's destroying Samp's right side and playing in cross after cross, finally fit!
Look, he's made a perfect cross to assist on Marco's goal! Things are looking up!
Oh, shit. He's gotten hurt and gone off before halftime. And he's angry. Nevermind, same as it ever was.
Pasqual replaced Vargas. He didn't do anything even half as well as Vargas, and seemed frightened of touching Dogfish. Foolish Pasqual.
Despite the fact that the lower half of his right leg fell off, Adem started in behind Gila.
Even he didn't do much, a sure sign of a grim day all around.
See? Totally lost.
Which is annoying and depressing, particularly since the first 25 minutes or so were so good, if not from Adem then from the team in general.
(Look, crotch issues and nipple in the same photo! At least he tried.)
But then it all went to hell, and even The Great Adem couldn't make anything happen.
He was reduced to eavesdropping on Samp conversations, in the desperate hope of learning secrets he could use to put them off their game. (It didn't work, cos Cheetos doesn't have any secrets left.)
By now, it's probably very easy to guess what I'm going to say about Gila.
Good effort, ridiculous hair, little service, and no result.
He worked very hard, though, and got beat up by Samp for his troubles. *sends him an ice pack or four*
According to Gazzetta, not only did he not manage even one shot on goal, but he also got into it with Samp fans. For real? When did that happen? And, more importantly, why would he bother?
(There is a picture of him doing this in EVERY SINGLE SPAM this season, isn't there? Speaking of depressing.)
But, take heart -- one person was actually useful!
No idea how he did it, but Mighty Marco convinced Sinisa to start him in his old spot on the right, and sit Cerci for once.
And Marco did good -- he scored a great goal, and busted his ass all over the pitch, creating danger, defending, and generally being his old, ferocious self.
It's lovely to have you back, Marco.
(I think he wants to know where the love has been.)
On his goal, Vargas played his billionth cross into the box inside the first six minutes.
And Marco made a fantastic run to totally elude Ziegler and pop up in the middle of the box.
The result was the ball in the back of the net and Ziegler, oddly, flying through the air.
And, most importantly, a small, mighty prance.
Sinisa: *dares to dream he might not actually get fired right after the match*
Marco: *gives Vargas his fiercest face*
... Goodness. Gila seems a little excited.
Not to mention much more interested in Vargas than he is Marco.
Donadel: *tucks everyone back in like a good captain*
Sinisa: "Um, lads? About 85 more minutes to get through without fucking up, if you don't mind?"
Sinisa's team: "Oh, absolutely. No problem, boss!"
Whatever deity cares about football: "MWAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAAA!"
So, this happened. With like 9 minutes left to go in the match.
Then, less a minute later?
There was this.
Sinisa: *averts his eyes*
Sinisa: *tries not to cry*
Sinsisa: "SIGH."
(He really doesn't want to go to the locker room, since everyone in there is crying and it'll totally make him cry, but there really isn't anywhere else he can go at this point.)
Up next is a visit from Bari. If they don't win that one, the fans will revolt and Sinisa will probably be gone. No pressure, everyone! (Meanwhile, training sessions are being closed to the public due to safety concerns. That sounds encouraging.)