Training + New Kits
(JMV has finally realized that, no matter the question, the answer is always nudity.)
I promise I will not make a post every day, but there are a billion training pictures, a new keeper, a crown, new kits, and some naked people. (Obviously, it was the nudity that forced me into action.)
Yeah, that's right. PAPA WAIGO IS THE KING. (Or, possibly, a Pope in a fancy hat.)
The only explanation for these photos is that someone brought a crown specifically for him to wear. Which is AWESOME.
While Papa was hanging with his people, JMV took a shower, and then just didn't bother to get dressed.
It seems his attitude is catching, which is something we can only encourage. (Even naked, Santana's posture is appalling. &hearts)
The happy couple aren't quite comfortable with public nudity yet, but surely it's only a matter of time.
(Sinisa has decided they can be naked as much as they want, with anyone they want, as long as they turn up for training.)
Sini: "When you're on the pitch, you're dressed. Understand?"
Jojo: *grumbles*
Sini: *stares him down*
Jojo: "Fine, fine. Forget I said anything."
Sini: "I will do that, thank you."
(I like that he's got at least one minion who, despite apparently being Italian, is extremely commie-looking.)
Yeah, he's awesome.
Elsewhere, the fully-dressed, newest of the new guys had turned up.
Apart from the fact the he seems to have a worryingly low body temperature, Boruc settled in just fine.
He also might just have superpowers, because he seems entirely unconcerned about that ball flying toward him.
Seb feels awkward.
Plus, he's not sure anymore if his decision to stop having ridiculous hairdos was the right one.
I mean, as if training camp wasn't already hard enough.
Now he's got this new guy to deal with?
Come on!
Not to worry, though, he's still got the skillz.
Aw yeah! Tending goal and changing his outfits between pictures. How you like me now, Artur?
So many layers! Seculin in his tshirt and shorts over there is concerned.
We probably ought to check in with the other new guy, too, just to see how he's doing.
Yep, still scrawny, still terrified. Aw.
And still, rather mysteriously, hanging with Pasqual. I wonder if they know one another, or if Pasqual has been mistakenly identified as nonthreatening.
COS HE WOULD LIKE TO REMIND EVERYONE THAT HE'S NOT NONTHREATENING.
Ok, he might look sweet and quiet but, at least when there are people to protect him, he's all about the aggro. (Otherwise, he's happy to fetch water bottles for friends.)
Natali's less aggro that naturally scary. Here, we see him explaining to LDS why only men of his size are allowed to stop shaving.
(He's a little more intimidating when he's not being adorable and smiley. DAW!)
Gambero: RAWR.
Felipe: *shrieks* What the heck do they do to people at Udine? Why are they all so terrifed of teammates?
LDS doesn't know from Udine, but his crotch is in midseason form.
As his is belly-flashing. Way to be a leader, Lo.
Aw, Mighty Marco! He seems to have accidentally taken Natali's shorts.
(Aw.)
Look at that fierce little face! It's been way too long since we've seen that.
I'm not 100% sure what's going on here, but I like to think he just beat Adi and is laughing at him. I stand behind this on principle.
Marco thinks that guy looks familiar, but can't figure out why he's not pasty and kicking people.
Yes, friends, that's right: CZ is back and better than ever.
I know it's not just me -- dude looks good, doesn't he? Sun helps, but his hair looks better too. Is it just that it's sticking up, thus making him look less bald?
Donadel: *runs by, taunting CZ with his flowing locks*
Cripes, he's really embracing hobo chic, isn't he?
BABA!!!1!
I've been slacking and not really been reading the training reports, but I'm guessing he's smoking pretty much everyone.
He is not, however, the only baby hanging with the big kids.
Remember Haris, the Swiss kid who turned up last year and finally joined the senior team at the end of the season? Sini's checking him out.
And Agyei's there again, too.
(Aw, look, CZ's getting ready to kick him. He's practically a senior players already.)
Gulan's still only 21, and actually played a fair amount on a loan stint for the first time last season with Empoli.
And he IS a Serb. Sini's gotta at least consider keeping him around, right?
As you may have gathered from the crown picture, PAPA WAIGO IS BACK! Again.
It's nice to see that England didn't change him -- still wiry, awesome, and the only adult in camp.
(Jojo wuvs him.)
Poor Santana. He doesn't get cuddles, he doesn't get to play, he doesn't get anything.
He's still working on rehabbing his knee, so all he does is jog around, then get naked and sit on the porch. Thank heaven for the last bit, at least.
Vargas, too, is doing a lot of jogging around, looking bored and/or pained.
As long as he finds time to a)get naked, and b)shave, however, it's going to be hard to complain to much.
Adem's been through a lot of preseasons with his boyfriend before, but this is his first one in purple.
And Sini adores him, so he's feeling pretty good about life.
Jojo? Jojo's always feeling good.
He still looks like Beaker, but Beaker's a grown man now.
It sorta started happening in the second half of the season last year, but just looking at him in the pictures now, he seems like a full-grown footballer, doesn't he?
He's all "Soon, this team will be mine!" CZ, at least, believes him.
Last but not least, we've got the billion pictures of Mutu.
No one knows what the hell is going to happen with him and, even if he stays, he can't play til Halloween, but what else is he going to do but train?
Anyway, who doesn't love free kick contests, and getting to use naive youth players in training matches?
Not this guy!
At least he and Sini are getting along, more Mutu!drama would be almost too much to take.
Uh oh.
Maybe I spoke too soon -- is he taking all his shit and going home?
Well, not going home, but apparently not actually training today for some reason.
(He doesn't seem overly busted up about it.)
Oh, wait -- maybe this is Adi's preseason training, getting himself ready for three months of spectating and cheerleading! Man, Sinisa thinks of everything.
(Firing squad, kit photo -- they're all the same to Gambit)
Rather than presenting them in Florence before the tifosi, for some reason the team presented the new kits today, in Cortina. There's no sponsor yet, so they're using the space to declare football fun -- let us pray they get something lined up before the season starts.
Also: Yellow! Not as new or weird as we think, but sorta awesome nevertheless.
Jojo -- and only Jojo -- is very interested in hearing about the new kits. See? Leader! Seb, meanwhile, was just told Sini put him on a diet.
Gambit, meanwhile, is seriously considering suicide.
(Is he wearing padding under his shirt? Why does he look like he's got a potbelly?)
Actually, no one looks very happy apart from Seb, who's the last person you expect to smile during preseason.
Good work, Frenchie, you're a trooper. Look, even his hair is perking up.
Poor Vlada. He must wonder how the hell he's still not only in Florence after all this, but actually modeling kits.
Jojo: "HEEEEEEEE. I'M A MODEL."
Adem: "Dude. We're models. Awesome."
(Adem must be feeling like a hell of a pimp, getting to model kits in his first full season at the club, especially considering that he's 14 years old.)
Gambit hates children.
Gambit hates kits. He especially hates modeling kits.
Gambit is about to cut a bitch if you don't let him leave RIGHT NOW. Thank you.