this sucked so bad i can hardly bring myself to look
1. DDV reminds me of Quentin Crisp with the coif and the popped collar and the layers and the fiddly-foo tied around his neck. 2. I suppose for a while you were in Bland Heaven. I was in RoRo heaven. And then IT happened, and it was so traumatic I forgot all about it. 3. Can you tell my distress about the match wiped most of the details about it from my brain? You too, hmm? I wonder if I really want to continue the spam. I might remember more stuff. *ponders* Marco, riiiiiight. I suppose I must. 4. That sneer! I think my underpants just spontaneously fell off. 5. MARCO! The more feisty and kicky he gets, the more I'm willing the give him a pass on everything else. What "everything else" is that? He's perfect exactly the way he is. eyebrows! & hearts 6. Vargas and Little Vargas: Are you sure you don't have them mixed up? I mean, the one is necessarily larger than the other, but when you compare each one to its peers, I think you might find that, proportionally, Vargas is Little Vargas. (I've thought a lot about this in the context of Sleepy.) How bout Vargas and Big Vargas? 7. I think you're right about Keirrison. I wuz not impressed. 8. Wait, go back a minute. Gila's hurt? He's not just tired? Onoz. 9. Poor Frenchie. *pats & offers a cigarette*
Purple life is just crushingly depressing these days. I can't even think about how awful they must feel, it's too much to take.
1. AWESOME. Somehow, that makes me like both of them more. 2. lol I was! And thank you for noticing -- CZ, Bonera and I are quite pleased. Bonera needs some sun, though. Damn that RoRo! He knows we'll love him no matter what he does, which makes him both careless and even more smug. 4. Roro's smug: *inches up a few more notches* 5. Oh, hell. Apologies, Marco -- I'm new to fangirling him, I'll get these things straight eventually. (Best eyebrow ever? Or at least of the season?) 6. *considers* That is a very good point you make, I will need to go back to the drawing board with the descriptions. 7. Sigh. The punk better show out tomorrow, or we will need to write him off forever after, what, four matches? GET WITH IT, BRAZILIAN. 8. His leg hurts, and he's not called up for tomorrow. *wails* (Who ever would have thought I'd wail about a lack of Gila?)
5. And which of your children do you love best? They're all amazing. Tho that one is pretty awesome. What do you think? Is he checking out Milan to make sure they have noticed that there is celebrating? Whatever, he's got quite a little naughty thing going there, eh? 7. At least Juve is not the only team with dubious Brazilians. Oh wait, even Milan have Mancini now. 8. But you have to wail because there is no backup for Gila. Except for babies, he's the only striker on the squad thankyouverymuch Mutu
5. Is he eying someone Milan to show them how naught he can be, given the opportunity/motivation? Abate, maybe? (And, no, I am not projecting at all. Perish the thought.) 7. ... I can't believe your ability to make me want to defend Amauri! It really is a skill, I think, though I'm not quite sure how you could market it. 8. Who's that now?
7. Listen, if Amauri lived up to any of the hype, I'd be a fan. Last season, he was doing great, then he went off in the winter for an injury, struggled when he came back, had one big game in Feb or March and everyone was all Amauri The Fabulous: Savior of the Azzurri. And then he didn't score again until the pre-season this year. Then he got two goals in one game in October. WooHoo The Amazing Amauri! And then nothing again until--what--the beginning of Feb this year? And except for his last drought, the press was all over him and his supposed greatness. In between there's all the WC bullshit, and the whole "it's ADP's fault I can't score because they build the team around him and don't let me do what I do," whatever that is. And God knows what's on those t-shirts. And gets dumb cards for fouls, and couple that with the cards he gets for taking his shirt off and for "verbals" (that's a good way of putting it, so thanks to Ray Hudson for that if nothing else), he spends too much time suspended for someone who doesn't defend.
He's good in the air, but he has a hard time making space around himself, and he is utterly useless on the ground. Only everyone except the press knows he's useless on the ground and can only score off a header, so he becomes kind of easy to defend. Oh, and even though he's useless on the ground, he keeps trying to bring the ball up the field by himself instead of passing to someone competent and running forward to be ready for a cross, only he loses possession EVERY DAMN TIME cos he apparently thinks he's awesome on the ground.
*pant pant pant*
I hope he gets his head out of his butt and shows me some of the form he had at Palermo. I really do. And as long as he never EVER makes the Italian National squad I am willing and waiting to change my mind. But he's gotta meet me halfway by PLAYING BETTER!
... Whoa. Ok, those are very good football reasons -- did he really bitch about ADP like that? El. Oh. El. And you didn't even mention the drama with Gigi and his ladyfriend. Down with Amauri! DOWN WITH HIM! (I don't think I actually even like him, I just feel bad for him and his Brazilian friends who get blamed by mean people (not you) for all zebra ills! Surely it's not ALL down to them, right? Also, the skills against Fiorentina in this video just after 1:00 sticks in my head more than pretty much anything I've ever seen, even Zlatan and his circus tricks.)
Oh! Speaking of Zebras but in a happy way, did you see Gio's Twitter chat? The guy @ the Juve Offside put up most of it and he mostly just confirmed his wonderfulness (and refuses to read Rev's book), though I'm annoyed he's supposed to be football obsessed and doesn't know who Eden Hazard is. L1 hater.
5. What's ew about Abate? He's lovely! Try to think of him back at Toro rather than at Milan -- that always helps me. Maybe he doesn't put out for every naughty raised eyebrow, how about them apples?
Did you see Ballack's ridiculous tackle today? I thought of you.
Dirtbunny's Amauri Button. Push it and see what happens.
Yes, he acted a tit about ADP for most of the season last year ("he's not so great, I played with Miccoli and he's way better") which is certainly not the way to my good graces, and then in the late spring he totally changed his tune and got on the ADP bandwagon (probably politically necessary if you're a zebra; do you think there were any Maldini-haters at Milan?) with a lot of slippery obsequiousness. Ugh.
And no, the zebra woe is not all down to him. There's plenty to share (altho Gio, naturally, is blameless).
Didya see the interview Alena Seredova gave? According to the blurb I saw, she said the whole Gigi-Amauri drama was made up. Here's her evidence: anyone who knows Gigi knows he never fights. That's sweet. I believe he's probably a generally peaceful person. But never fights? Tell that to Sex Machine. Tis all very suspicious to me.
There's nothing wrong with Abate. I'm pretty indifferent to him. I just think Marco can do better. But for you, "Abate: TORO POWER!" at least until he does something that causes me to have an opinion.
Gio's chat and Ballack's tackle. Oh, goody. Something to look forward to! *rubs hands together gleefully, then goes to find out who Eden Hazard is*
ETA: HOLY SHIT! You can be born in the 1990s and be of legal votng age? Cripes.
I'm pretty sure when you turn up at Milan, they give you something called The Family Shot that removes your ability to disagree with anything anyone there says or does. Kaladze's recently wore off, which explains his unexpected temper tantrum. Also, Clarence has a strange ability to resist the shot, which is why he occasionally causes trouble by thinking for himself. (It might be to do with being Dutch, so KJ is being closely watched.)
I did not see Alena's interview, but I agree that seems a bit unlikely. Are there any professional athletes about whom you can say that? I would believe "rarely" fights, since he's been around so long he's probably rarely bothered, but a bit Brazilian hitting on your lady would be a bother.
Oh good, thank you. Hopefully he won't brutally kick Marco next time they play, or anything, and put you right off.
ETA: OH MY GOD. Well, I guess it's time to get a walker, huh? We're only seconds from total decrepitude.
1. DDV reminds me of Quentin Crisp with the coif and the popped collar and the layers and the fiddly-foo tied around his neck.
2. I suppose for a while you were in Bland Heaven. I was in RoRo heaven. And then IT happened, and it was so traumatic I forgot all about it.
3. Can you tell my distress about the match wiped most of the details about it from my brain? You too, hmm? I wonder if I really want to continue the spam. I might remember more stuff. *ponders* Marco, riiiiiight. I suppose I must.
4. That sneer! I think my underpants just spontaneously fell off.
5. MARCO! The more feisty and kicky he gets, the more I'm willing the give him a pass on everything else. What "everything else" is that? He's perfect exactly the way he is. eyebrows! & hearts
6. Vargas and Little Vargas: Are you sure you don't have them mixed up? I mean, the one is necessarily larger than the other, but when you compare each one to its peers, I think you might find that, proportionally, Vargas is Little Vargas. (I've thought a lot about this in the context of Sleepy.) How bout Vargas and Big Vargas?
7. I think you're right about Keirrison. I wuz not impressed.
8. Wait, go back a minute. Gila's hurt? He's not just tired? Onoz.
9. Poor Frenchie. *pats & offers a cigarette*
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1. AWESOME. Somehow, that makes me like both of them more.
2. lol I was! And thank you for noticing -- CZ, Bonera and I are quite pleased. Bonera needs some sun, though. Damn that RoRo! He knows we'll love him no matter what he does, which makes him both careless and even more smug.
4. Roro's smug: *inches up a few more notches*
5. Oh, hell. Apologies, Marco -- I'm new to fangirling him, I'll get these things straight eventually. (Best eyebrow ever? Or at least of the season?)
6. *considers* That is a very good point you make, I will need to go back to the drawing board with the descriptions.
7. Sigh. The punk better show out tomorrow, or we will need to write him off forever after, what, four matches? GET WITH IT, BRAZILIAN.
8. His leg hurts, and he's not called up for tomorrow. *wails* (Who ever would have thought I'd wail about a lack of Gila?)
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7. At least Juve is not the only team with dubious Brazilians. Oh wait, even Milan have Mancini now.
8. But you have to wail because there is no backup for Gila. Except for babies, he's the only striker on the squad thankyouverymuch Mutu
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7. ... I can't believe your ability to make me want to defend Amauri! It really is a skill, I think, though I'm not quite sure how you could market it.
8. Who's that now?
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He's good in the air, but he has a hard time making space around himself, and he is utterly useless on the ground. Only everyone except the press knows he's useless on the ground and can only score off a header, so he becomes kind of easy to defend. Oh, and even though he's useless on the ground, he keeps trying to bring the ball up the field by himself instead of passing to someone competent and running forward to be ready for a cross, only he loses possession EVERY DAMN TIME cos he apparently thinks he's awesome on the ground.
*pant pant pant*
I hope he gets his head out of his butt and shows me some of the form he had at Palermo. I really do. And as long as he never EVER makes the Italian National squad I am willing and waiting to change my mind. But he's gotta meet me halfway by PLAYING BETTER!
*pant pant pant*
hmmmm, happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts
5. I bet all he has to do to get laid is work the eyebrow and smile just a teeny bit with mischief in his eyes. But not with Abate. ew
grrr
ugh
*flings self down on chaise longue and commences to weeping*
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Oh! Speaking of Zebras but in a happy way, did you see Gio's Twitter chat? The guy @ the Juve Offside put up most of it and he mostly just confirmed his wonderfulness (and refuses to read Rev's book), though I'm annoyed he's supposed to be football obsessed and doesn't know who Eden Hazard is. L1 hater.
5. What's ew about Abate? He's lovely! Try to think of him back at Toro rather than at Milan -- that always helps me. Maybe he doesn't put out for every naughty raised eyebrow, how about them apples?
Did you see Ballack's ridiculous tackle today? I thought of you.
Reply
Yes, he acted a tit about ADP for most of the season last year ("he's not so great, I played with Miccoli and he's way better") which is certainly not the way to my good graces, and then in the late spring he totally changed his tune and got on the ADP bandwagon (probably politically necessary if you're a zebra; do you think there were any Maldini-haters at Milan?) with a lot of slippery obsequiousness. Ugh.
And no, the zebra woe is not all down to him. There's plenty to share (altho Gio, naturally, is blameless).
Didya see the interview Alena Seredova gave? According to the blurb I saw, she said the whole Gigi-Amauri drama was made up. Here's her evidence: anyone who knows Gigi knows he never fights. That's sweet. I believe he's probably a generally peaceful person. But never fights? Tell that to Sex Machine. Tis all very suspicious to me.
There's nothing wrong with Abate. I'm pretty indifferent to him. I just think Marco can do better. But for you, "Abate: TORO POWER!" at least until he does something that causes me to have an opinion.
Gio's chat and Ballack's tackle. Oh, goody. Something to look forward to! *rubs hands together gleefully, then goes to find out who Eden Hazard is*
ETA: HOLY SHIT! You can be born in the 1990s and be of legal votng age? Cripes.
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I did not see Alena's interview, but I agree that seems a bit unlikely. Are there any professional athletes about whom you can say that? I would believe "rarely" fights, since he's been around so long he's probably rarely bothered, but a bit Brazilian hitting on your lady would be a bother.
Oh good, thank you. Hopefully he won't brutally kick Marco next time they play, or anything, and put you right off.
ETA: OH MY GOD. Well, I guess it's time to get a walker, huh? We're only seconds from total decrepitude.
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