perhaps it is just me...
I am only 20 yet i feel so much older
I see, hear, read other peoples "troubles" in life
and think to myself how silly they all seem...
not getting the girl/boy, not succeeding at some meaningless point in life,
not doing this, not doing that...
come on now, seriously, problems like that seem meaningless to me
at this point in my life...
I am only 20 years old and i feel emotionally more mature than people
years older than me...
this feeling makes me feel odd and out of place when i am around others
and listening to their complaints of their pathetic little lives...
i think they feel mature and sure they may look mature but when you actually
sit down listen or read their "problems"...i ask myself how mature
can this person be...i mean come on really?
Maybe maturity has nothing to do with it...
maybe these people actually think that the small meaningless little
things that happen in their life actually can change them or whatever
i do not even know how to begin to explain this...
Well how about this...
How about the life that you have come to know and love
was suddenly jolted apart by the death of a loved one, lets say the best mother in
the entire world, the one who would do anything to make sure
you had a good life...even though you didnt have a lot of money...
basically no money...
Try being the middle child whose younger brothers and older sister and everyone in
your family look at as the person who now holds all the responsibility of taking
care of your brothers while they finish their last year of high school, take care of your
disabled sister who has numerous doctors appointments, paying all the bills to make sure that
those around you have a stable environment, putting food in the kitchen cabinets, taking care and making the payments on the house you are buying...having to take time off of college not because you need time because a girl/boy broke your heart or you just needed time to rest but because you had to take care of a family whose hearts will no longer be the same...it makes me think that college is something that others may take for granted because their parents pay for it all, but someone like myself has
to continuously work hard to just to be their and to stay there...try having the pressure of making something of yourself, to better your life, try having to work for something in your life...you may be in for a big surprise...
you know when i went to the emergency room a few months back...a doctor walked in
and said "ah, patricia cruz, you know you are a legend around here? the girl who gave up college to take care of her family"
and i thought to myself...you know i am somewhat just a girl...because of the whole age thing, but the life that i have lived up to this moment has forever changed this girl and made her superior to her peers because of the cards that life has dealt and i feel lucky for that...if it werent for the troubles and turbulence of my growing up years i could have been a selfish, unmotivated, thoughtless, carefree, ungrateful kid, i could be that kid that i am disgusted with now...but because of those things i have come to appreciate everything that i have and love every moment of life because when you see and feel the last heartbeats of a person's life it forever changes you in a way that only the experience can make you have these feelings...
you have no idea...
your naivete shows...
you disgust me with your meaning of a bad time in life...
grow up...
Patty...
P.S. just read it, digest it, think about it...
I see, hear, read other peoples "troubles" in life
and think to myself how silly they all seem...
not getting the girl/boy, not succeeding at some meaningless point in life,
not doing this, not doing that...
come on now, seriously, problems like that seem meaningless to me
at this point in my life...
I am only 20 years old and i feel emotionally more mature than people
years older than me...
this feeling makes me feel odd and out of place when i am around others
and listening to their complaints of their pathetic little lives...
i think they feel mature and sure they may look mature but when you actually
sit down listen or read their "problems"...i ask myself how mature
can this person be...i mean come on really?
Maybe maturity has nothing to do with it...
maybe these people actually think that the small meaningless little
things that happen in their life actually can change them or whatever
i do not even know how to begin to explain this...
Well how about this...
How about the life that you have come to know and love
was suddenly jolted apart by the death of a loved one, lets say the best mother in
the entire world, the one who would do anything to make sure
you had a good life...even though you didnt have a lot of money...
basically no money...
Try being the middle child whose younger brothers and older sister and everyone in
your family look at as the person who now holds all the responsibility of taking
care of your brothers while they finish their last year of high school, take care of your
disabled sister who has numerous doctors appointments, paying all the bills to make sure that
those around you have a stable environment, putting food in the kitchen cabinets, taking care and making the payments on the house you are buying...having to take time off of college not because you need time because a girl/boy broke your heart or you just needed time to rest but because you had to take care of a family whose hearts will no longer be the same...it makes me think that college is something that others may take for granted because their parents pay for it all, but someone like myself has
to continuously work hard to just to be their and to stay there...try having the pressure of making something of yourself, to better your life, try having to work for something in your life...you may be in for a big surprise...
you know when i went to the emergency room a few months back...a doctor walked in
and said "ah, patricia cruz, you know you are a legend around here? the girl who gave up college to take care of her family"
and i thought to myself...you know i am somewhat just a girl...because of the whole age thing, but the life that i have lived up to this moment has forever changed this girl and made her superior to her peers because of the cards that life has dealt and i feel lucky for that...if it werent for the troubles and turbulence of my growing up years i could have been a selfish, unmotivated, thoughtless, carefree, ungrateful kid, i could be that kid that i am disgusted with now...but because of those things i have come to appreciate everything that i have and love every moment of life because when you see and feel the last heartbeats of a person's life it forever changes you in a way that only the experience can make you have these feelings...
you have no idea...
your naivete shows...
you disgust me with your meaning of a bad time in life...
grow up...
Patty...
P.S. just read it, digest it, think about it...