today, and always
Where to begin?
Apprehension.
That was the beginning of today.
Through breakfast, my daily 20 minutes at the piano, setting up for the recital.
Through chapel, my daily fighting back tears, eating lunch with some new friends.
Through the recital, my daily struggle to say things, quickly setting up for orchestra.
Which I did not go to.
Which brings us to where this is all going.
But first, an interjection.
Last night, I did some homework in the library. Weird for me, I know. Only about 45 minutes worth. Got some Hebrews out of the way. (That class will be the end of me, and not just the homework.) Then could not stand the library, so I went and played the piano. I'm working on this particular song, and almost have it down decent enough, and which I do not want...
You know what, I can't continue this.
(but then why not just delete that last paragraph, you say? well, i don't know.)
I cannot keep this up.
Fast forward.
This evening, tonight. Capstone presentations. They were wonderful. Had to exit for work, which wasn't that great today. Then, off to PF Changs for Karlyn's birthday. Eventually, we got in, and 5 of us remained, after our presenter from previous made her appearance.
And it unfolded pretty much like Old Chicago's after the last Christmas concert, only flipping out one friend for another.
Except the latter seemed more like a reset, a restart.
Tonight, well, the distance was horribly prevelant.
Some of the subjects breached gave an indication
of exactly how far away we actually are,
of exactly where we are,
and, as my heart breaks,
of exactly where we can never be.
I'm trying, I really am.
Someday, this weight I will be rid of.
Someday.
It is something that I have to do.
I cannot this facsimile continue.
So, now I sit here, in the dark, on the computer,
waiting for a call that won't come, listening to Mogwai,
(We're No Here and Friend of the Night),
typing what I have to, that, ironically, I hope
that nobody ever will completely understand
what I am trying to say.
"and all of this just as i was beginning
to have the most amazing dream..."
=bassman
Apprehension.
That was the beginning of today.
Through breakfast, my daily 20 minutes at the piano, setting up for the recital.
Through chapel, my daily fighting back tears, eating lunch with some new friends.
Through the recital, my daily struggle to say things, quickly setting up for orchestra.
Which I did not go to.
Which brings us to where this is all going.
But first, an interjection.
Last night, I did some homework in the library. Weird for me, I know. Only about 45 minutes worth. Got some Hebrews out of the way. (That class will be the end of me, and not just the homework.) Then could not stand the library, so I went and played the piano. I'm working on this particular song, and almost have it down decent enough, and which I do not want...
You know what, I can't continue this.
(but then why not just delete that last paragraph, you say? well, i don't know.)
I cannot keep this up.
Fast forward.
This evening, tonight. Capstone presentations. They were wonderful. Had to exit for work, which wasn't that great today. Then, off to PF Changs for Karlyn's birthday. Eventually, we got in, and 5 of us remained, after our presenter from previous made her appearance.
And it unfolded pretty much like Old Chicago's after the last Christmas concert, only flipping out one friend for another.
Except the latter seemed more like a reset, a restart.
Tonight, well, the distance was horribly prevelant.
Some of the subjects breached gave an indication
of exactly how far away we actually are,
of exactly where we are,
and, as my heart breaks,
of exactly where we can never be.
I'm trying, I really am.
Someday, this weight I will be rid of.
Someday.
It is something that I have to do.
I cannot this facsimile continue.
So, now I sit here, in the dark, on the computer,
waiting for a call that won't come, listening to Mogwai,
(We're No Here and Friend of the Night),
typing what I have to, that, ironically, I hope
that nobody ever will completely understand
what I am trying to say.
"and all of this just as i was beginning
to have the most amazing dream..."
=bassman