Break...

[forwardknight]

Last night I broke. I was taking care of Xander and I could not take it anymore. First thing I did was change his diaper and then fix him a bottle. After he ate, he started crying again so I changed his diaper, again, which needed to be done. But after that, he was still crying. I did not know what to do. He would not take a pacifier, he would not burp, and laying him down on his stomach just in case he had a stomach ache did not work either. So I just sat there, and let him cry. I literally could not thing of something else to do with him. I just sat there and let him cry.

Krystle came in and turned on the light, and he just stopped. Instantly.

I could not stand it. It was not that Krystle came and fixed what I was having an issue with for nearly two hours, but it was the fact that I felt he was never going to get on a schedule. It's been two weeks and I know it might be to early but we have a set time before we go back to work to get him on some sort of schedule and if he is not on that by then, I don't know what I am going to do. My job is already to much stress to take right now, if we add in a baby that has yet to get on a schedule into the mix, I don't know how I am going to handle it.

I just wanted to give up. And I did, somewhat. I just went to sleep. I could not take it anymore, so I gave up and went to sleep.