I don't believe I'm doing this
...but I am.
Prompt: Worry
Title: The Beets of Wrath, the Cake of Grattitude
Disclaimer: Absoloutley no-one involved in this lunacy belongs to me.
Rating: PG (mild unkindness)
Word count: c.470
Summary: In which Batman worries, El Dragón is cruelly betrayed and mercilessly assaulted, and the Boy Wonder saves the day.
'I should not worry' Batman thought to himself 'I should not think about troubles. I've worried too much already and now I am worrying about worrying...but, why isn't Robin home yet?' Batman worried at the neckline of his cloak, pacing the floor. 'I only sent him to get one cake, that's as many as one ones. I worry he has got coke instead of cake. I worry he may have been provided with a soft drink of dubious ethics by a backstreet snacks vendor.' Batman paced the carpet a bit more. 'I worry he might have been worried by a warthog, warrior or Wonder Woman; I am concerned that he may have been attacked and chewed viciously by an African species of wild pig, a tribal soldier or a cake-deprived Amazon clad only in a reinforced strapless swimsuit. Poor Robin!'
Just then Robin jogged in.
"Robin!" exclaimed Batman, "You have been gone three hours, that's as many as...ah...that's a prime number. And a long time, too. I was worried."
"I am sorry," said Robin. "I express regret and apology. But El Dragón was in trouble!”
“Was it another industrial-sized cardboard box?” asked Batman. “Was El Dragón trapped in large box made of pulped plant fibres? I thought he had learnt not to follow trails of cake.”
“Even worse,” said Robin. “El Dragón saw the Joker stealing a beet from a woman’s garden. He went to tell him stealing was wrong. The Joker pointed over El Dragón’s shoulder and said ‘look! There’s Johnny Depp!’. El Dragón turned around to see, but Johnny Depp was not there! The Joker was lying. He was being creative with the truth. The Joker pushed El Dragón on the ground.”
“That was mean,” said Batman. “That was not very nice.”
“It gets worse,” said Robin, “while El Dragón was on the ground, the Joker…tied his shoelaces together. Around a small fencepost.”
“…and that’s terrible,” Batman agreed. He was shocked, stunned and appauled. His flabber was ghasted. “But why are you late? And where is our cake?”
“His shoelaces were tied tightly. They were very hard to undo,” said Robin. “So I took tea breaks. And…we, er…worried the cake. We ate little bits around the edge of the cake and tidied it up and then it was gone. The cake was no more.” Robin looked guilty. He looked like he had done something bad resulting in the absence of cake. “But when El Dragón was free we went and baked you a new cake.” Robin showed Batman a box. “It is enthusiasm cake. He put everything he had into it.”
Batman looked at the cake. He poked a chilli gingerly and prodded a bit of ginger chillily. Batman was not sure cakes should have so many bayleaves in, or so much cinnamon. Or a shark “Perhaps we should look into doughnuts,” Batman said.
Prompt: Worry
Title: The Beets of Wrath, the Cake of Grattitude
Disclaimer: Absoloutley no-one involved in this lunacy belongs to me.
Rating: PG (mild unkindness)
Word count: c.470
Summary: In which Batman worries, El Dragón is cruelly betrayed and mercilessly assaulted, and the Boy Wonder saves the day.
'I should not worry' Batman thought to himself 'I should not think about troubles. I've worried too much already and now I am worrying about worrying...but, why isn't Robin home yet?' Batman worried at the neckline of his cloak, pacing the floor. 'I only sent him to get one cake, that's as many as one ones. I worry he has got coke instead of cake. I worry he may have been provided with a soft drink of dubious ethics by a backstreet snacks vendor.' Batman paced the carpet a bit more. 'I worry he might have been worried by a warthog, warrior or Wonder Woman; I am concerned that he may have been attacked and chewed viciously by an African species of wild pig, a tribal soldier or a cake-deprived Amazon clad only in a reinforced strapless swimsuit. Poor Robin!'
Just then Robin jogged in.
"Robin!" exclaimed Batman, "You have been gone three hours, that's as many as...ah...that's a prime number. And a long time, too. I was worried."
"I am sorry," said Robin. "I express regret and apology. But El Dragón was in trouble!”
“Was it another industrial-sized cardboard box?” asked Batman. “Was El Dragón trapped in large box made of pulped plant fibres? I thought he had learnt not to follow trails of cake.”
“Even worse,” said Robin. “El Dragón saw the Joker stealing a beet from a woman’s garden. He went to tell him stealing was wrong. The Joker pointed over El Dragón’s shoulder and said ‘look! There’s Johnny Depp!’. El Dragón turned around to see, but Johnny Depp was not there! The Joker was lying. He was being creative with the truth. The Joker pushed El Dragón on the ground.”
“That was mean,” said Batman. “That was not very nice.”
“It gets worse,” said Robin, “while El Dragón was on the ground, the Joker…tied his shoelaces together. Around a small fencepost.”
“…and that’s terrible,” Batman agreed. He was shocked, stunned and appauled. His flabber was ghasted. “But why are you late? And where is our cake?”
“His shoelaces were tied tightly. They were very hard to undo,” said Robin. “So I took tea breaks. And…we, er…worried the cake. We ate little bits around the edge of the cake and tidied it up and then it was gone. The cake was no more.” Robin looked guilty. He looked like he had done something bad resulting in the absence of cake. “But when El Dragón was free we went and baked you a new cake.” Robin showed Batman a box. “It is enthusiasm cake. He put everything he had into it.”
Batman looked at the cake. He poked a chilli gingerly and prodded a bit of ginger chillily. Batman was not sure cakes should have so many bayleaves in, or so much cinnamon. Or a shark “Perhaps we should look into doughnuts,” Batman said.