-64 [Action/accidental voice]

[fortunefail]

[Wearing a thick cloak and hands buried deeply in his pockets, Yuan is stumping through Luceti, heading for the forest. Things are getting far too crowded for his liking, so he'll go out to find some peace and quiet. He's bringing his journal along just in case, unaware it's recording:]

...Damn. It's so cold, you could hammer a nail with a frozen

Comments

[killinurd00dz]

YOU COULD HAMMER IN SOMEONE'S HEAD WITH A FROZEN BANANA. IT MIGHT KILL THEM. TAKE THAT CHANCE. IN FACT, TAKE THAT CHANCE FOR EVERYONE. IT WOULD GET RID OF YOUR OBVIOUS ANNOYANCE.

[fortunefail]

...

[What. What.]

[killinurd00dz]

WHAT, WAS I NOT CLEAR? ALLOW ME TO ELABORATE. TAKE A FROZEN ROCK-HARD BANANA. ARE YOU HOLDING IT? GOOD. NOW SMASH IT AGAINST SOMEONE'S HEAD. KILL THEM. REPEAT UNTIL YOU HAVE ERADICATED THE SOURCE OF YOUR VEXATION.

BECOME THE GOD OF THIS WORLD, UNTIL I TAKE IT FROM YOU.

[fortunefail]

That's ridiculous! I'm not going to kill people with bananas for no reason!

[killinurd00dz]

WHO SAYS WE HAVE TO LIMIT IT TO JUST BANANAS? FROZEN GRAPES CAN BE USED AS BULLETS. THEY'LL BE A MITE UNWIELDY, BUT THAT'S ALL RIGHT. I AM SURE YOU CAN HANDLE IT. YOU CAN ALSO TAKE SOMEONE AND BURY THEM UP TO THEIR WAIST.

THEN THROW FROZEN ORANGES AT THEIR HEAD.

BE CREATIVE, YUAN-CHAN. UNFORTUNATELY, I DO NOT BELIEVE THAT WOULD KILL YOU.

[fortunefail]

[What in the world is this person?]

Just be quiet!

[killinurd00dz]

I WOULD IF YOU WENT ON A GOOD OLD-FASHIONED KILLING SPREE. THAT WOULD SHUT ME UP QUITE NICELY. I WOULD BE TOO PREOCCUPIED WITH THE BEAUTY OF THE BRIGHT RED RIVERS STAINING THE STREETS TO SAY A WORD.

GO ON, YUAN-CHAN. USE SOME FROZEN FRUIT FOR BONUS POINTS.

[fortunefail]

No! Go bother someone else!

[killinurd00dz]

WHY WOULD I DO THAT? YOU'LL BE ALMOST AS MUCH FUN AS SLAVE-CHAN.

AND I DO LOVE TO HAVE FUN. USUALLY BY KILLING PEOPLE. BUT HAVING A PLEASANT CONVERSATION WITH YOU WILL DO QUITE WELL.

[fortunefail]

This conversation is far from pleasant. And stop yelling!

[killinurd00dz]

YELLING? YOU CONSIDER THIS YELLING? WHAT AN ODD WORLD.

But all right. I suppose I can make one small concession. After all, what is keeping my voice volume when compared to losing a slave?

I believe you need to adjust your definition of pleasant, Yuan-chan. Talking with me is always pleasant.

[fortunefail]

You're awfully full of yourself, aren't you?

[killinurd00dz]

No more so than the history in your world would lead the average man to believe about you, Yuan-chan. It goes hand-in-hand with being a triple agent. After all, you'd have to have a high opinion of yourself to convince yourself that you could pull it off. What happened with you?

Oh, that's right. You got discovered, with a nice series of kicks to the stomach. Good work.

[fortunefail]

Wh-

How do you know about that?!

[killinurd00dz]

I am Raighto. Knowing everything about you is what I do.

Why do you question God? God is not your dead girlfriend. God is me.

[fortunefail]

Gods don't exist.