brazil
i feel like shooting myself in the head. not in a suicidal way but in a, im so depressed i just want to pretend that i would actually shoot myself in the head but i never would im just so depressed- way. i really just miss brazil more than anything. it sounds stupid to be so depressed over separation from a place but i am. i cant help it. i fell in love wtih brazil. i love every millimeter of recife, brazil and the souls we touched, the people we met. i miss raisa, roberta, clovis, johny, vera, roberto, everyone from forest hill that went.. i miss the precious moments of innocence and shit i miss sitting in church not understanding a word but knowing the thought put into it. people dismiss other people who they cant communicate with so easily. but if you could catch a glimpse into their souls like we did, you could see the selflessness there.
i miss that so much. i miss having carefree innocent fun with people i barely know that rearrange their whole lives for you so you can stay with them for 10 days and eat their food, inconveinience them and use their precious hot water. but they are so thankful to have you there. and to have a man that you forged a father-daughter relationship with to kiss me and Mo on the foreheads saying "You are like daughters to me. You are welcome any time, any time." It sounds so easy to say. but the only difference between that statement and similar ones, is that Roberto meant it.
and all the effort Vera put into communicating with us, singing with us in the mornings. the precious moment with lygia and the girls, porca doida and all our crazy words. fuca! i love brazil so much..
clovis and his phara-oh phara-oh's! and 'giiiiiiiideooooon!' and how much he did for us, his cell phone permanently attached to his had.
todds tudo bem song that we sang to vera and her daughters who laughed and soo thought we were crazy. and the breakfast table every morning and johny stroking my hair and kissing me, trying to learn english just to tell us he loves us.
the beach and football and hacky sack and weird demented baseball games with large bottle of guarana and moving bricks and lizards and coconut laxatives and kiko and the crazy driving, no lanes, ocean views, sharks on the beach, weird empanas walking with roberta on the beach while men in speedos were around us. muribeca and the love train and horns and lanterns.. every single bead we picked up, crayon passed out, "tia tia"'s we heard.. the mall and little erica and my expensive thai food and the view from old recife and the tapioca and olinda... stray dogs, stray litter of cats, video store, spiderman 2, sweet home alabama, underworld.. hammocks and reading... being sick from pizza, bad sprite, lots of coke, water smells funny, ramen noodles, blessing, morning devotions, praying out loud, too much dave matthews, porn houses, robbi's concert, nasty pork on a stick, lizard shadows, mud, seis e meia, showering at night, electric shock, cut on my finger, stranded at church, beth and felipes house, watching weird concerts on tv, bono, annalise.... i miss brazil more than i miss anything in the entire world. i cant imagine being away from there another second and the worst part is, i know theres far too many days between today and my next visit.
brazil will always have a chunk of my heart and i know it has more of my heart than cleveland or new york ever will. im meant to be in brazil. theres no doubt about it. and i cant wait until the day where i fall in love with someone in brazil and spend the rest of my life there serving god and being happy in complete bliiiiissss
i miss that so much. i miss having carefree innocent fun with people i barely know that rearrange their whole lives for you so you can stay with them for 10 days and eat their food, inconveinience them and use their precious hot water. but they are so thankful to have you there. and to have a man that you forged a father-daughter relationship with to kiss me and Mo on the foreheads saying "You are like daughters to me. You are welcome any time, any time." It sounds so easy to say. but the only difference between that statement and similar ones, is that Roberto meant it.
and all the effort Vera put into communicating with us, singing with us in the mornings. the precious moment with lygia and the girls, porca doida and all our crazy words. fuca! i love brazil so much..
clovis and his phara-oh phara-oh's! and 'giiiiiiiideooooon!' and how much he did for us, his cell phone permanently attached to his had.
todds tudo bem song that we sang to vera and her daughters who laughed and soo thought we were crazy. and the breakfast table every morning and johny stroking my hair and kissing me, trying to learn english just to tell us he loves us.
the beach and football and hacky sack and weird demented baseball games with large bottle of guarana and moving bricks and lizards and coconut laxatives and kiko and the crazy driving, no lanes, ocean views, sharks on the beach, weird empanas walking with roberta on the beach while men in speedos were around us. muribeca and the love train and horns and lanterns.. every single bead we picked up, crayon passed out, "tia tia"'s we heard.. the mall and little erica and my expensive thai food and the view from old recife and the tapioca and olinda... stray dogs, stray litter of cats, video store, spiderman 2, sweet home alabama, underworld.. hammocks and reading... being sick from pizza, bad sprite, lots of coke, water smells funny, ramen noodles, blessing, morning devotions, praying out loud, too much dave matthews, porn houses, robbi's concert, nasty pork on a stick, lizard shadows, mud, seis e meia, showering at night, electric shock, cut on my finger, stranded at church, beth and felipes house, watching weird concerts on tv, bono, annalise.... i miss brazil more than i miss anything in the entire world. i cant imagine being away from there another second and the worst part is, i know theres far too many days between today and my next visit.
brazil will always have a chunk of my heart and i know it has more of my heart than cleveland or new york ever will. im meant to be in brazil. theres no doubt about it. and i cant wait until the day where i fall in love with someone in brazil and spend the rest of my life there serving god and being happy in complete bliiiiissss