how can I say iloveyou when you never make me happy...
update
So, the 12th was alyssa's birthday and we threw her a party. She had no idea what we were planning. So that's a good thing. The there was drama drama drama, as always, but this time it got to me. See when Alyssa was still dating Gabe she would tell me that everytime she saw matt( best friend adrienne's boyfriend) she wanted to "fuck" him. I always said wellget over it, he has a girlfriend, not anyone mybest friend. I got tired of hearing it, so i stopped listening, then her party.
1. Matt came to see adrienne, because he thought that she would be there, and to say happy birthday to alyssa. Gabe didnt come because mom doesnt like him.
2. alyssa told me again that she wanted to "fuck" him, I again told her to get over it, and she said you just don' understand. Of course I understand, how could i not, but how many times do you have to ay it.
3. then later carissa asked her are you breaking up with gabe because of matt, and i said it better fucking not be. later she asked me, "lauren why is it such a big deal that i am in love with matt?" and i looked at her like she was stupid,a nd she said, is it because of adrienne? and i said (sarcastically) no not at all!
4. she told me that the reason she was breaking up with gabe was because she was falling out of love with him. and of course i believe her.
NOW HERE IS WHERE I DONT KNOW WHAT TO THINK
1 matt told me alyssa asked him out and he said no, he loves adrienne, he then sent adrienne a text saying i love you more than anything, i would'nt leave you for the world.
2. alyssa told me that adrienne knew she loved matt before she started dating him, and i told adrienne, and she said yes, but alyssa promised that nothing would come between us(matt and her) she said she wouldn't try anything.
now everything just gets confusing and it is too much to type.
dont get me wrong i love alyssa. she is my very best firned and adrienne is my bestfriend, then comes christie.
I broke up with Zakk reasons;
1. there is absolutely positively no spark
2. i dont love him
3. i wont fall in love with him
4. i had a dream i cheated on him, which means i am unable to commit, and i am being untrue to myself.
Stephanie and I are talking now, i am glad everything is ok.
we went to see lauren on the 12th. it was fun
I cant wait until our camping trip.
rawr
i need to study for my finals
Red1&3 english and spanish
black1&3 foods and science
red2&4 health and art
black2&4 geometry and history
dumb
I hate finals with a passion.
i work wed. thurs. sat. sun.
i hope i get alot more hours during the summer.
ok time to go
love always
lo