Our Moment 1/1
Title: Our Moment
Fandom: General Hospital
Pairing: Jason Morgan and Courtney Matthews
Word Count: 1,302
Summary: Courtney and Jason are trapped together and it makes all the difference.
Author's Note: I am a hardcore Jasam fan but Journey had some really great moments together, I will admit! This takes place in 2004.
Our Moment
Courtney chanced a look in Jason's direction. He was still walking around the perimeter of the elevator looking like a caged animal who wanted to be anywhere but where he was. She didn't blame him really. Being trapped with your ex-wife could not be easy. Hell, it wasn't easy for her either. She wanted out of here just as badly as he did even if he might not have believed it.
In his pacing though, he still managed to keep skirting around her feet though which were stretched out in front of her, as if he afraid if he touched her in any way, he would be burned. And in a way that made sense. She had burned him more than once; that much was true. However, he had hurt her just as badly by giving up on them so easily and then almost immediately thereafter claiming Sam McCall's baby was his for months.
His back and forth, back and forth pacing was giving her a headache and finally she found herself snapping out, "Jason, can you just sit down? We're not getting out of here anytime soon." When his icy blue eyes met hers, her voice dropped an octave. "I mean, there's no point in wearing yourself out. I am sure Jax is doing all he can to get us out of here."
"Of course he is," Jason muttered and finally settled for resting his back against the cold metal of the back wall though he remained standing. He sighed and ran a hand down his face as he always did when he was frustrated. She remembered that about him. She had of course memorized every inch of him, memorized everything about him and remembered what they had once meant to each other. She remembered kisses in the rain and walks on the docks and shaving sessions in the sink and lovemaking till their limbs were all tangled and she couldn't guess where he started and where she began. She remembered it all. She knew Jax was itching to marry her right now but she would be lying to herself if she didn't wish Jason would give her any kind of gesture that meant he still cared. She could take his anger even but she couldn't take him pretending they had never meant anything to each other.
"What do you mean?" She finally asked.
"Mean by what?"
"The way you said 'Of course he is'. Like ... well, that was sarcasm and usually you're a straight-shooter and -" Her voice broke off.
"I mean, Jax -" he broke off for a moment, staring at her with a noticeably intense expression in his crystal blue eyes - "he wants business to keep moving on, I am sure. The MetroCourt is his latest project so ..."
Courtney couldn't help but smile. He was stumbling over his words. He looked awkward. That had to mean something. Or at least she prayed it did. She ventured, "You usually don't come undone, Jason. Am I making you that uncomfortable?"
Jason shifted awkwardly against the wall. "No. I just want to get out of here."
"You're suddenly claustrophobic..."
"No ... No..." Jason said. "I just ... Sam probably needs me..."
Courtney nodded as tears immediately filmed her eyes. "Yeah. She has to be your first priority."
Jason splayed his hands. "You are after something, Courtney. Just spit it out."
Courtney rubbed her forehead and then looked up at Jason, her own blue eyes wet with tears. "I guess I just wanted to know ... If you ever cared. Or if I was just a pet project until the next damsel in distress came along needing you to be their own Superman. Needing you to be their rock and needing you to say all the right things. Until they fell in love with you and there was no escape from that feeling."
Jason ran a hand down his face. "I cared, Courtney. I still do," he admitted in a soft voice. "But -"
"But did you ever truly love me?" Courtney pressed. She didn't want to sound so pathetic but she had to know that she hadn't dreamt up their whole relationship; possibly made it into something it wasn't.
"I married you."
"You married Brenda too. You were ready to marry Sam. Did you love them too?"
Jason didn't answer for a long moment before he finally shook his head. "No. That was about obligation ..."
Courtney nodded. "Was I ever an obligation to you?"
Jason shook his head. "Never."
"Not even when Sonny told you to watch out for me when I was stripping?"
Jason shook his head again but said nothing.
"You loved me once, Jason," Courtney murmured. "I wish I could figure out why you stopped..."
Jason finally burst out with a true spark of emotion: "You think I stopped, Courtney? Really? You don't think I wake up at nights wishing you were beside me or that there are days I can barely get through without wanting to run to you, pull you away from Jax, and make you mine again?"
Tears worked down her face. "Then why haven't you?"
"Taken you back from Jax?" Jason muttered. "You're happy with him. He gives you a safe life. He -"
"He's not you though, Jason," Courtney finally snapped out. "He's not you. I don't want a safe life if it means I can't be with you anymore. But you made the decision to divorce me and -"
"I thought I was doing the right thing for you," Jason murmured. "I really did."
"You should have just asked me. I would have told you it wasn't the right thing for me. For us. I thought you stopped caring because I basically killed our baby and -"
Jason shook his head and in the next moment, he was moving over to her and dropping to his knees in front of her and cupping her cheeks in either of his hands. "You did not, Courtney. You didn't kill our baby. You did what you needed to do to escape from Alcazar. You might have died too that night and I couldn't have handled that --"
Courtney reached out and ran her thumb down his cheek where she noticed a stray tear running down his face. "Jase, I love you. I always have. You basically said you loved me too-"
"I do," Jason said. "I still do."
"Then please don't let us waste another minute being mad at each other or missing each other in silence. Please, Jason, don't waste our time. You never know when it will be gone, true, but a safe life is not what I want. I want a passionate life full of you, Jason; a lifetime full of rain kisses and shaving your face in the sink and making love into the wee hours. I could try that with another man but another man would never be you. Those moments mean so much because they're our moments."
Jason nodded. "We have so many obligations -"
"Yeah we do, Jason. But aren't obligated to each other too? We made vows and they meant something and even though we divorced, I can't bring myself to break them."
Jason nodded again. "Me either," he agreed and in the next moment he was kissing her. All his pent-up emotions went into that kiss, all of the regrets and the pain and the time they wasted, all of the moments they could have reconciled and didn't because they were stubborn ... All those things went into that kiss and it was the single most satisfying and amazing kiss of Courtney's life.
When they finally came up for air, Courtney lightly touched his damp face. "We're going to try again, right?"
Jason nodded. "Yeah and this time ... We'll make it work."
Courtney nodded and rested her forehead against his. "Yes, yes we will."
.FINIS.
Fandom: General Hospital
Pairing: Jason Morgan and Courtney Matthews
Word Count: 1,302
Summary: Courtney and Jason are trapped together and it makes all the difference.
Author's Note: I am a hardcore Jasam fan but Journey had some really great moments together, I will admit! This takes place in 2004.
Our Moment
Courtney chanced a look in Jason's direction. He was still walking around the perimeter of the elevator looking like a caged animal who wanted to be anywhere but where he was. She didn't blame him really. Being trapped with your ex-wife could not be easy. Hell, it wasn't easy for her either. She wanted out of here just as badly as he did even if he might not have believed it.
In his pacing though, he still managed to keep skirting around her feet though which were stretched out in front of her, as if he afraid if he touched her in any way, he would be burned. And in a way that made sense. She had burned him more than once; that much was true. However, he had hurt her just as badly by giving up on them so easily and then almost immediately thereafter claiming Sam McCall's baby was his for months.
His back and forth, back and forth pacing was giving her a headache and finally she found herself snapping out, "Jason, can you just sit down? We're not getting out of here anytime soon." When his icy blue eyes met hers, her voice dropped an octave. "I mean, there's no point in wearing yourself out. I am sure Jax is doing all he can to get us out of here."
"Of course he is," Jason muttered and finally settled for resting his back against the cold metal of the back wall though he remained standing. He sighed and ran a hand down his face as he always did when he was frustrated. She remembered that about him. She had of course memorized every inch of him, memorized everything about him and remembered what they had once meant to each other. She remembered kisses in the rain and walks on the docks and shaving sessions in the sink and lovemaking till their limbs were all tangled and she couldn't guess where he started and where she began. She remembered it all. She knew Jax was itching to marry her right now but she would be lying to herself if she didn't wish Jason would give her any kind of gesture that meant he still cared. She could take his anger even but she couldn't take him pretending they had never meant anything to each other.
"What do you mean?" She finally asked.
"Mean by what?"
"The way you said 'Of course he is'. Like ... well, that was sarcasm and usually you're a straight-shooter and -" Her voice broke off.
"I mean, Jax -" he broke off for a moment, staring at her with a noticeably intense expression in his crystal blue eyes - "he wants business to keep moving on, I am sure. The MetroCourt is his latest project so ..."
Courtney couldn't help but smile. He was stumbling over his words. He looked awkward. That had to mean something. Or at least she prayed it did. She ventured, "You usually don't come undone, Jason. Am I making you that uncomfortable?"
Jason shifted awkwardly against the wall. "No. I just want to get out of here."
"You're suddenly claustrophobic..."
"No ... No..." Jason said. "I just ... Sam probably needs me..."
Courtney nodded as tears immediately filmed her eyes. "Yeah. She has to be your first priority."
Jason splayed his hands. "You are after something, Courtney. Just spit it out."
Courtney rubbed her forehead and then looked up at Jason, her own blue eyes wet with tears. "I guess I just wanted to know ... If you ever cared. Or if I was just a pet project until the next damsel in distress came along needing you to be their own Superman. Needing you to be their rock and needing you to say all the right things. Until they fell in love with you and there was no escape from that feeling."
Jason ran a hand down his face. "I cared, Courtney. I still do," he admitted in a soft voice. "But -"
"But did you ever truly love me?" Courtney pressed. She didn't want to sound so pathetic but she had to know that she hadn't dreamt up their whole relationship; possibly made it into something it wasn't.
"I married you."
"You married Brenda too. You were ready to marry Sam. Did you love them too?"
Jason didn't answer for a long moment before he finally shook his head. "No. That was about obligation ..."
Courtney nodded. "Was I ever an obligation to you?"
Jason shook his head. "Never."
"Not even when Sonny told you to watch out for me when I was stripping?"
Jason shook his head again but said nothing.
"You loved me once, Jason," Courtney murmured. "I wish I could figure out why you stopped..."
Jason finally burst out with a true spark of emotion: "You think I stopped, Courtney? Really? You don't think I wake up at nights wishing you were beside me or that there are days I can barely get through without wanting to run to you, pull you away from Jax, and make you mine again?"
Tears worked down her face. "Then why haven't you?"
"Taken you back from Jax?" Jason muttered. "You're happy with him. He gives you a safe life. He -"
"He's not you though, Jason," Courtney finally snapped out. "He's not you. I don't want a safe life if it means I can't be with you anymore. But you made the decision to divorce me and -"
"I thought I was doing the right thing for you," Jason murmured. "I really did."
"You should have just asked me. I would have told you it wasn't the right thing for me. For us. I thought you stopped caring because I basically killed our baby and -"
Jason shook his head and in the next moment, he was moving over to her and dropping to his knees in front of her and cupping her cheeks in either of his hands. "You did not, Courtney. You didn't kill our baby. You did what you needed to do to escape from Alcazar. You might have died too that night and I couldn't have handled that --"
Courtney reached out and ran her thumb down his cheek where she noticed a stray tear running down his face. "Jase, I love you. I always have. You basically said you loved me too-"
"I do," Jason said. "I still do."
"Then please don't let us waste another minute being mad at each other or missing each other in silence. Please, Jason, don't waste our time. You never know when it will be gone, true, but a safe life is not what I want. I want a passionate life full of you, Jason; a lifetime full of rain kisses and shaving your face in the sink and making love into the wee hours. I could try that with another man but another man would never be you. Those moments mean so much because they're our moments."
Jason nodded. "We have so many obligations -"
"Yeah we do, Jason. But aren't obligated to each other too? We made vows and they meant something and even though we divorced, I can't bring myself to break them."
Jason nodded again. "Me either," he agreed and in the next moment he was kissing her. All his pent-up emotions went into that kiss, all of the regrets and the pain and the time they wasted, all of the moments they could have reconciled and didn't because they were stubborn ... All those things went into that kiss and it was the single most satisfying and amazing kiss of Courtney's life.
When they finally came up for air, Courtney lightly touched his damp face. "We're going to try again, right?"
Jason nodded. "Yeah and this time ... We'll make it work."
Courtney nodded and rested her forehead against his. "Yes, yes we will."
.FINIS.