i guess you could say i loved this show
GENERAL SEASON THOUGHTS
SEASON 4: I ... don’t know how I felt about it. It was an interesting season because it had some overall great episodes (Hush is pure genius, as is Something Blue) but the overall arc was pretty weak. That Initiative shit really annoyed me and Riley pissed me off so much. I didn’t mind him when he was just Buffy’s lame boyfriend, because I didn’t care if she had that, but when they gave him all his own storylines ... ugh. I did not care. What I did like was how this season really explored the differences between the main three and the fact that they were not all going to end up doing the exact same things with their life. I liked how Willow loved university, Buffy found it difficult, and Xander struggled with not being accepted at all.
SEASON FIVE: This was the one season that I literally knew nothing about. I really really loved it! The storyline with Buffy’s Mum BROKE MY HEART. It was so great how the arc was basically about something that she couldn’t fight and how hard that was for her to deal with. I was crying so much through The Body/Forever (and Angel came to the funeral omg. I love how they keep that relationship going and show how much they will always love each other.) The Dawn thing I hated SO MUCH in the beginning - it distressed me that Buffy would look back over things that happened in previous seasons and remember Dawn being there even though she wasn’t? Ridiculous reason to hate her, but it’s why I did. Plus she was such (and kind of still is in the later seasons, although she has her good moments) A WHINY BITCH. I liked Spike’s one sided love for Buffy, too. In S4 Spike was kind of used solely for humour so it was great how they expanded his story. It was really believable too. Also can I get a LOL for Riley getting his blood sucked? HILARITY. I did not miss him for a single second once he was gone. Also THE FINALE, oh my godddddd Buffy you are the bravest, most wonderful person ever. More rivers of tears! Spike crying his eyes out when she died was actually really sad too.
SEASON SIX: ... is really super depressing. Spike and Buffy’s relationship depressed me! I think it’s because I TOTALLY GET why she’s doing it and it breaks my heart a little. It’s kind of ironic that he is the only person she can discuss her sadness about her resurrection with and how the only way she can feel better for a moment is by having sex with him, even though she hates herself for it. (Also how graphic were the sex scenes this season? I was literally like WTF IS GOING ON during their first time.) I think Buffy sums it up in Once More With Feeling with “This isn’t real, but I just want to feel.” Something I don’t understand: why they would have assumed Buffy was in hell. What the fuck dudes, Buffy is the hero of your lives! Why on Earth would she be in hell? Watching her deal with being ripped from a place where she was happy was so heartcrushing. Buffy having to deal with shit like money was so horrible, too. I hated seeing her having to work at the Doublemeat Palace, it was so depressing. I kind of hated the Warren/Jonathan/Andrew thing too, because these guys are SERIOUSLY fucked up (they attempted to rape and actually killed a girl!) but half the time they’re still represented as dorky-but-harmless guys and I just don’t like that. And on that note, WHEN TARA DIED. Holy shiiiiiiiiiiiiit I was not even remotely expecting that and her and Willow had just made up and were super adorable again! I should have guessed the show would rip out my heart again. And aww, Willow. I was so annoyed with her early on in the season (I believe my favourite phrase to yell at her was “find a cliff and jump off it” because jfc, she was such a pain) but I liked how the ~addiction~ thing played out, and it makes sense that Tara’s death would force her back into it again. She was super badass when she was evil, too.
SEASON SEVEN: I zipped through this season so quickly it’s not very clear in my mind anymore, but things I remember loving: insane Spike, Buffy’s new job, Angela and Hodgins’s private investigator from Bones being that girl who knew she was going to die, everyone’s individual strategies for getting the man in “Him”, the scenes with Dawn and the possessed house in “Conversations with Dead People” being the only thing that truly freaked me out in the whole show, ANDREW BECOMING AWESOME, and Faith becoming awesome. I cried an absolute freaking RIVER when Xander lost his eye (NATHAN FILLION, JFC CREEPIEST.) And everything that happened in Chosen, whiiiich I talk about in more detail later.
EPISODES
THE PROM: Oh my god, even thinking of that episode makes me start crying a river of tears. The end scene especially. Angel/Buffy were just so ... pure and good and they loved each other so much, and I don’t think anything upsets me more than when a love can just never be? They’re so tragic and perfect. There are so many upsetting things in this episode! The breakup, omg, with “I want my life to be with you!” “I don’t.” And when she cries to Willow and is like “I’m just trying to keep from dying. I feel like I can’t breathe,” I don’t think I could either. And every single time I have watched that last scene of The Prom I have cried like a baby. “It’s just tonight, it doesn’t mean I...” “I know. I mean I understand.” The changing emotions on her face do me in every time: she loves him so much and she’s so happy he’s there, but she understands that it’s over between them, and it’s so heartbreaking to watch. And omg “and wild, wild horses couldn’t tear me away.” CRYING FOREVER. HOWEVER, the episode did contain joyful things: Xander paying for Cordelia’s dress! Oh my god, beyond adorable. Also, the start of Xander/Anya!!!! And the class protector award!! That scene’s so cute I can hardly stand it.
RESTLESS: HEY, this episode is craaaaaaaazy in the most awesome midfuck way ever. Most layered episode ever, y/y? I really need to watch it again, I feel like there’s so much I didn’t understand the first time around. Probably because a lot of it was foreshadowing what was coming in the next few seasons, so it’ll probably make more sense to me now I’ve seen them.
FAMILY: I cried. A lot. DISCOVERED FAAAAAAAAAMILIES, I DON’T THINK I LOVE ANYTHING MORE.
FOOL FOR LOVE: I actually saw “Darla” in Angel before this, and I reeeeeeally want to rewatch that, because they tied together brilliantly. Spike’s pretty great, as was this!
THE BODY: I don’t have words for this episode. I think this is the most gut wrenching portrayal of death I’ve ever seen on television, it actually hurts my heart to think of it. My worst nightmare is finding a relative like that. Oh god oh god oh god this episode. The cut away from them cleaning up after the Christmas dinner to the dead body is literally one of the most shocking things I’ve ever seen. “Strong like an amazon?” made me cry, but Anya’s breakdown was my favourite part, for sure. “I don't understand how this all happens. How we go through this. I mean, I knew her, and then she's, there's just a body, and I don't understand why she just can't get back in it and not be dead anymore. It's stupid. It's mortal and stupid. And, and Xander's crying and not talking, and, and I was having fruit punch, and I thought, well, Joyce will never have any more fruit punch ever, and she'll never have eggs, or yawn or brush her hair, not ever, and no one will explain to me why.”
FOREVER: HEY, I REALLY LIKE IT WHEN ANGEL COMES BACK. Also, HEARTBREAKING TO THE MAX. However! I loved loved loved that conversation Anya and Xander had. XANDER, YOU TOTAL TOOL, HOW COULD YOU DUMP THIS GIRL?
ANYA: Well, I just think I understand sex more now. It's not just about two bodies smooshing together. It's about life. It's about making life.
XANDER: Right, when ... two people are much older, and ... way richer, and far less stupid.
ANYA: Breathe. You're turning colours. I'm not ready to make life with you, but I could. We could. Life could come out of our love and our smooshing, and that's beautiful. It all makes me feel like I'm part of something bigger. Like I'm more awake somehow.
ONCE MORE WITH FEELING: Was amazing. AMAZING. Oh my god. I always have a strong reaction to musicals (yes, my favourite movie is Moulin Rouge), but this was the first time I’ve seen a musical with characters that you already know, so it was such a unique, WONDERFUL episode. I am kind of in love with “I’ll Never Tell.” And everyone (excluding Alyson Hannigan, how adorable was it that she had like 2 lines to sing the whole episode) was such great singers! And the songs were so accurate! Walk Through the Fire was brilliant. (I also just really love the way she sings “I want the fire back.” Such a sense of loss comes through in one line, it’s magnificent.) ALSO OMG, FAVOURITE THING: When Spike starts to sing! LOL FOREVER, she’s rolling her eyes and he’s like fuuuuuuuck. I loled out loud during “Where Do We Go From Here” when he started to do the dance moves, too. HEY I REALLY LIKED THIS EPISODE AND I’VE MAYBE WATCHED IT 10 TIMES, OKAY.
TABULA RASA: I also loved this SO MUCH OMG. Spike thinking that his name was Randy and that he was Giles’s son! Giles saying “I seem to be British. And a man. With glasses. Well, that narrows it down considerably.” Giles and Anya thinking they were together and making out! “Now that thing is going to eat my ring!” Joan the Vampire Slayer! Aaaah it was hilarious. Also the makeout at the end was hot, ngl. ALSO WTF WILLOW YOU CRAZY BITCH.
HELL’S BELLS: WHY. WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY DID THEY DO THIS TO ME. HEART: RIPPED OUT AND STOMPED ON. YES I WAS TRAGICALLY OVERINVESTED IN XANDER/ANYA. I WANTED TO HIM TO FIND A FIRE AND DIE IN IT AFTER THIS EPISODE. HOW COULD HE DO THIS TO ANYA, when she had finally started to trust people and accept being human? Also that line from “I’ll Never Tell” kept coming into my head - “but I’m out of the biz, the name I made I’ll trade for his.” THIS UPSET ME SO MUCH OKAY, I was crying more in this episode than most of them. That final walk she did down the aisle was the most tragic thing in the world.
SELFLESS: I BET YOU CAN GUESS THAT I LOVED THIS EPISODE. ANYA BACKSTORY, OH MAN. Also, the flashback to Once More With Feeling! NOT MUCH MORE I COULD WANT FROM AN EPISODE.
CHOSEN: I GET GOOSEBUMPS EVERY TIME I EVEN THINK OF THIS, it was a really great final episode. BUFFY AND ANGEL BASICALLY PROMISING TO BE TOGETHER SOMEDAY. HEY THAT TOTALLY HAPPENED FIVE YEARS ON, NO DISCUSSION REQUIRED. Also when he disappeared into the shadows I was crying, it was totally a bookend to his first appearance and that always, always kills me. And there were so many other magical moments! All the potential slayers being given the power! Willow casting the spell, but it didn’t turn her bad! ANYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. SPIIIIIIIIIIIIIKE (I wasn’t so upset about him, I knew he came back in Angel). Buffy giving the pendant to Spike “because it needed a champion”!! The end, with Buffy contemplating her future, knowing she’s not alone anymore! BUT MY VERY FAVOURITE MOMENT, THE MOMENT THAT HAD ME CRYING LIKE A BABY: Willow, Xander, Giles and Buffy talking just like they did in The Harvest! And then the three of them walking off together with Giles left, saying “the world is doomed.” JFC WHAT AN AMAZING BOOKEND, THEY REALLY WERE TRYING TO KILL ME WITH THAT ONE.
SHIPS
XANDER/ANYA: Apparently I am super invested in relationships that involve Xander. I DON’T KNOW WHY, but excluding Buffy/Angel, my favourite two ships have probably been Xander/Cordelia and Xander/Anya. AND HEY, I really love Anya. I read somewhere that people just think she’s really annoying, but I don’t get it! I love the blunt, tell-it-like-it-is characters, they’re always hilarious! It’s totally realistic in her case, too. And Anya was so interesting, I looooooooooooved her storyline. I love how these two just ... fell in love. She obviously had feelings for him originally but I don’t think either of them expected them to become as serious as they did. I don’t think she even believed that two people COULD be happy, after the things she’d seen, but they really were. (THANKS FOR RUINING THAT, XANDER.) But I loved how things never really ended between them - that conversation they had in Storyteller about how they still loved each other was A JOYOUS MOMENT for me (as was the time when they had sex on the kitchen floor.) I can’t believe she died, guys. When Andrew told Xander that she died saving him, omg, river of tears. Even thinking about it is choking me up. SUMMATION: I THINK THEY’RE GREAT, I LOVE THEM, why can I not find any icons of them???!
WILLOW/TARA: I don’t know what to say about them! I love them, I think they were fab together, I hated that Willow broke them up and that Tara died because she was really sweet. I aww’d a lot when they were together.
BUFFY/SPIKE: I left them until last because I ... am very conflicted about my feelings on them. I was fully expecting to hate them completely, but I don’t. I don’t think they’re right for each other, and I think the relationship they had was very destructive, but something special did develop between them in s7, and I know he loved her. I liked what developed between them in the final season, but I think even though they acknowledged they had feelings for each other, they had also accepted they would never be right for each other. I don’t know, they’re intriguing, and the night they stayed up holding each other was adorable. But idk, I’m still kind of ~Buffy&Angel 4eva~, and I think Buffy is, too. And I really do believe that Buffy will seek Angel out one day in the future. (FIC RECS, ANYONE???) Also, superficially, when they made out it was really hot, even if some of the sex scenes were very uncomfortable (ew, Dead Things.) AND JAMES MARSTERS HAS A REALLY HOT BODY AND I LIKE IT WHEN HE’S NEARLY NAKED. Not as much as DBor, but it’s a good substitute.
FINAL THOUGHTS
SARAH MICHELLE GELLAR’S ACTING BLEW. ME. AWAY THIS WHOLE SHOW. She is incredible, such a talented actress (and superficial sidenote, THE COLOUR OF HER EYES is astounding! They’re just beautiful!) I think James Marsters was a close second, the guy was amazing. I mean, he was supposed to die three episodes in and look what he became! And um, I’m already up to 2x03 in a rewatch :D?
HIATUS: JANUARY 6TH - JANUARY 12
I'm going away for work for a week, and YES, THIS MEANS I MISS CHUCK, WHICH IS SO DEVESTATING. So guys! Feel free to send me anything, especially reaction thoughts if you have any! My email is bee.emma@gmail.com, I can't waaaaaaaaait to see what everyone thinks! I JUST CAN'T WAIT, FULL STOP. IT'S FINALLY HERE!