In A World Filled With Darkness for AKATCUTIES (2/2)
"Don’t worry about him, Baek.” Sehun says soothingly, but it sounds more like a faraway thought in his head.
Baekhyun balls his hands into fists and exhales a shaky breath. He is angry. “How… How did you find me?”
“Sorry?” Sehun obviously didn’t expect the sudden change of subject, dropping his hand out of Baekhyun’s hair as he stares, a confused frown tugging at his lips. He watches as Sehun places his blood soiled tissue onto the coffee table.
Baekhyun glares at Sehun, anger boiling through his veins like molten lava. He was angry because the only person he thought would understand him had walked away when he had spilled his darkest secret, he was angry because Sehun had to come from fucking nowhere in all his defined glory and ruined his little sanctity. “I asked how the fuck did you find me? I’m halfway across the country, Sehun. I’m far away from the people who knew me back home. I started anew, and yet… Here you are.”
Baekhyun stands up in anger, about to run out after Lu Han but doesn’t get far when he feels Sehun’s large arms wrap around his waist to pull him down onto his lap. He struggles, a plethora of insults flying out from his mouth as he tries to wriggle free from the younger’s embrace, but Sehun doesn’t give way.
“Let go of me, Oh Sehun.” Baekhyun says through gritted teeth.
“No, you need to hear me out first.” Sehun only tightens his hold, silently waiting for Baekhyun to stop moving.
Baekhyun gives up, thinking that the faster he got this done and over with, the faster he could run and find Lu Han. “Fine.” he huffs, defeated.
“You left me, you know. You didn’t just leave the bad memories, the bad people behind, you left me as well.” Sehun says softly after a moment of silence. His hand is rubbing soothing circles into Baekhyun stomach. It’s a familiar gesture, the same one from his dream. “I was barely twelve, Baek. I didn’t know how to feel when my best friend, my next door neighbour confessed to me. You were my first kiss.”
Baekhyun finds himself smiling despite the memory of what had happened afterwards. Sehun was so shy back then, turned as red as a tomato when Baekhyun leaned in to place a gentle peck on his lips. He finds his heart fluttering at the memory.
“I needed to get away.” he stutters, attempting to will down the fluttering feeling. It’s something he hasn’t felt for a while, not since he left his hometown, since he left Sehun. “I wanted to run away. I wanted to live with the relatives who lived the furthest away from my home.”
“You could’ve told me first, you know? All those years afterwards, I looked for you. I went to every city in search of the boy who stole my heart. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you after what had happened, I wanted to be. I really did. But you shut me out, you just pretended like I didn’t exist.” Sehun gently places his chin in the juncture between Baekhyun’s neck and shoulder, exactly the same way his saviour did in his dream. “When I found you, I was so happy. I- I wanted to run to you, hug you, kiss you until you couldn’t breathe. But, you looked so distant, so far away from everything.”
“Remember that lunch time, you and that tall guy, Chanyeol, were arguing over something? I heard him say something about touching you and I was quick to follow you out. I saw you duck into the library and it took me almost ten minutes to find where you had hidden. You were crying in your sleep. You looked so vulnerable. I just wanted to help you, and when you woke up clinging to me, I… I remembered the small hyung I had fallen in love with. I didn’t want to let go of you, I didn’t want to leave you and I wanted you to remember me. But you didn’t.”
“How could I when you were hiding half of your face?”
“Because you said my name in your sleep. I just wanted to hear you say it to me.”
Outside, the wind howls loudly as thunder rumbles in the distance, but all that can be heard in the small room are two hearts beating, synchronising with one another’s as the taller of the two presses the smaller into the couch they were seated on and leans in for a kiss.
Baekhyun holds his breath. He couldn’t calm down his heart, feeling like it was just about to combust from all the feelings building up inside of it. But the way Sehun was looking at him, through half lidded eyes, with the same love, the same adoration he had from when they were younger, it brings him almost to tears.
This was Oh Sehun, his first friend, his first best friend and his first crush. When other boys began to talk about girls and their pretty smiles and their pretty hair, Baekhyun would think about Sehun’s growing limbs, how the smaller boy was already his height at twelve. He thought about how Sehun would sneak over cake his mother would bake just before bedtime, because he knew Baekhyun wasn’t allowed to have sweets after six.
This was the boy Baekhyun had grown up with and had shared his first kiss with. The boy who had looked across the country just to find him. The boy he should have never left behind.
“I still love you, hyung. It wasn’t just puppy love, it never was.” Sehun breathes before leaning in and capturing Baekhyun’s lips with his.
The world seems to suddenly slow down to a crawl when their lips meet. He knows Sehun can feel how fast his heart is currently beating, their chest pressed flushed together as the younger slides his tongue along the seam of his lips. They’re still slightly damp from standing out in the rain, but he doesn’t seem to care, only caring about the slide of Sehun’s lips against his. His fingers to tremble ever so slightly when they grasp around the back of Sehun’s neck to pull him in deeper.
Warmth blooms inside of his chest, tingling as it circulates around his body and travels to the tips of his fingers, to the pads of his toes. His head is spinning, and he thinks that maybe Sehun was his saviour after all. Sehun is the one who would be there to pick up the pieces to rebuild Baekhyun, and even though there’d be thousands of tiny cracks, of imperfect lines, Sehun would kiss them and tell him that’s what makes him beautiful. A porcelain doll with imperfections is better than one that looks exactly like the others; a clone. Because Baekhyun isn’t a clone, Baekhyun is one of a kind.
When they pull away, Sehun’s face is flushed a pretty pink, his lips are saliva-slicked and his eyes are lust-hooded. Baekhyun finds him beautiful. “We should probably talk to Lu Han about this. I don’t think he’d take it to well if he found out I just molested his “pup”.”
It’s the first time Baekhyun has laughed in a while, and he finds that it feels good.
They find Lu Han sitting outside, a cigarette dangling in between his fingers as he watches the rain pelt into the concrete and disappear into puddles below. Baekhyun didn’t even know Lu Han smoked.
“Hey, Lu.” Baekhyun says softly, wrapping a jacket he had taken with him before leaving their dorm around Lu Han’s small shoulders. Lu Han nods his head in acknowledgement, but doesn’t say anything. Baekhyun slides into the seat across from him as Sehun stands off to the side. “I’m sorry.”
He flicks end of his cigarette and Baekhyun watches as grey ashes float slowly to the ground. “You shouldn’t be apologising, you did nothing wrong.” he says, bringing to tip back to his mouth to inhale more nicotine. “I should be the one apologising though. I’m sorry. I was being selfish. It’s your past, not mine. You can choose who you want to tell. I just… I didn’t expect that.” Smoke leaves his mouth in wispy strands as he speaks, curling like lace around his lips before dissipating into the atmosphere above.
“It’s not something I like to talk about.” Baekhyun replies quietly, digging his nails into his palm. “I felt like a murderer for so long, Lu. That I did something wrong, that it was my fault my mother died. Only because my stepfather had seen me kissing Sehun. It was my fault, if I didn’t.. If I didn’t do that-”
“You were fucking fifteen, Baekhyun. Stop it. There was something obviously wrong with your stepfather if he wanted to kill a fifteen year old boy for liking another boy.” Lu Han scoffs as he throws his cigarette butt on the ground and presses it out with the heel of his shoe. “I’m just so fucking angry. You lost your mum because you had a fucked up stepfather. Why would it matter if you liked boys? She was trying to save you Baekhyun, and all you can think about is how it was apparently your fault when it’s not. Do you think your mother would want that? Seeing you mope around when she saved your life?”
Baekhyun doesn’t respond, his words caught in a lump at the back of his throat.
“No, Baekhyun.” Lu Han answers for him. “Your mum would want you to live life to the fullest. You’re still alive and that disgusting, homophobic man is gone. You have me and you have Sehun now so it shouldn’t matter. If anyone says anything about you being gay then I’ll fuck them up for you. Only because I look like a gay fairy doesn’t mean I fight like one.”
At this, Baekhyun cracks a small smile. Hearing Lu Han call himself a gay fairy, even when he often likes to tell people he’s manly, is kind of amusing. Lu Han reciprocates with a smile of his own. “See, pup, you look lovely when you smile. Just be happy.”
Often, Baekhyun finds himself wondering what life would be like if Sehun hadn’t ended up finding him.
Having just finished finals, he finds it’s just like second nature now when Sehun comes over more often than not, settling himself in and annoying Lu Han the same way he did to Baekhyun when they were younger. Sehun had successfully managed to plant himself into their lives, leaving his clothes and toiletries all over the place even when he had a dorm of his own.
But it isn’t like Baekhyun is complaining. He doesn’t have nightmares anymore, not when Sehun cuddles him to sleep on the nights Lu Han isn’t home. The bad memories are safely stored away in the back of his mind, under lock and key, having no reason to back come out. It doesn’t plague his thoughts, not when Sehun takes up most of his time now. His heart is still torn, and his soul is still shattered, but Sehun is slowly picking up the pieces whenever they fall, gently placing them back inside Baekhyun’s tired form as he kisses the scars away.
Sometimes Lu Han doesn’t return home for days, and Sehun ends up staying over.
Baekhyun doesn’t know how he had gotten in this position, watching tiredly from his bed as Sehun strips off his shirt, revealing a long expanse of his back, unblemished, milky and beautiful. However, when Sehun reaches for the buckle of his belt, and begins taking it off slowly, unaware that Baekhyun is still watching, is the exact moment when Baekhyun feels something stir deep inside of his belly.
Off goes the belt, then slowly Sehun pulls his jeans down, revealing his very nice derriere. Baekhyun can feel his face flush in embarrassment. Never has he felt this way for someone before.
“You alright, pup?” Sehun asks tiredly, crawling into bed before wrapping an arm around Baekhyun’s waist and pulling the elder back flush against his chest. Baekhyun hums a reply, suddenly aware that there were only two layers of clothing separating them, and then suddenly he’s very aware of Sehun’s crotch resting up against his ass. His body flushes all over. “You smell nice.” Sehun mutters, nuzzling his nose into Baekhyun’s neck and inhaling deeply. The contact on his neck causes a wave of goosebumps to prick at his arms and his heart to flutter.
Baekhyun only hums a response again, afraid that if he opens his mouth, a very embarrassing sound might come out.
Sehun’s fingers skitter underneath the hem of his shirt, skimming towards his side before they’re running ever so gently along the scar on his hip. It feels extremely intimate; no one has ever touched his scar before, not even Lu Han. “You’re beautiful, Baekhyun. So, so beautiful. Everything about you is perfect.”
And he doesn’t know why, but the way Sehun says it, the way his voice lowers as he whispers the sweet words, makes Baekhyun’s toes curl and his member come to life inside of his briefs. Not once has Baekhyun watched porn. He had never felt the need to, not when he couldn’t feel many emotions at all. So it is a new experience to be able to feel arousal, and it’s something Baekhyun finds himself liking.
Sehun scrapes his nails along the skin underneath Baekhyun’s navel, causing the elder to elicit a not so innocent sound, and he can feel Sehun’s smirk pressing into the skin of his neck.
“Naughty pup.” Sehun laughs softly, but doesn’t stop his fingers as they skitter closer to the elastic of Baekhyun’s briefs. He does it slowly, giving enough time for Baekhyun to stop him. And although Baekhyun finds it extremely embarrassing to admit, he doesn’t want Sehun to stop.
Baekhyun’s squirming in anticipation and nervousness by the time Sehun sits up and pushes him flat so he’s lying on his back. He climbs on top of Baekhyun and begins to press chaste kisses to his forehead, his eyelids, the tip of his nose and to each of his cheeks, teasingly missing where Baekhyun wanted to be kissed most.
Baekhyun doesn’t realise he has let out a whine until Sehun laughs.
“Where do you want me to kiss you, hm?” he says teasingly, trailing kisses down from Baekhyun’s jawline to the column of his neck.
Baekhyun can barely speak. He’s caught up in a haze of pleasure, to the gentle thrum of his heartbeat as Sehun nips a place on his neck he didn’t even know could feel that good.
“S-Sehun…” Baekhyun whines, and Sehun stops, leaning back to look at him, a playful smirk tugging at his lips. Baekhyun worries his bottom lip, looking anywhere but at the younger’s face as he shyly whispers: “Kiss me on the lips, please.” And he feels kind of stupid for begging, but when Sehun complies straight away and leans down, pressing his slightly chapped lips into Baekhyun’s, all of his inhibitions ends up flying out the window.
Sehun kisses with fervour, nipping at Baekhyun’s bottom lip before he slides his tongue along the swell to soothe it. His tongue is soft, warm, gentle in Baekhyun’s mouth, and even though Baekhyun hasn’t kissed anybody like this before, he thinks Sehun is extremely good at it, judging by the way sparks of electricity shoots straight down from their connected lips and sizzles deep in his lower region.
All nervousness dissipates to just anticipation when Sehun grinds his very erect member against Baekhyun’s own one. The noise Sehun makes in the back of his throat is enough to have Baekhyun treading on very thin ice towards the edge.
“Baekhyun, Baekhyun, Baekhyun.” Sehun groans, rolling his hips again, and again, and again as he presses down hard enough for Baekhyun to feel the throb of the younger’s member on top of his. A low growl is caught in the back of Sehun’s throat, so when he speaks, it sounds deliciously gravelly. “Oh God, baby.”
“Ah, Sehun.” Baekhyun moans, feeling his end coming much too fast as it rises like a tsunami in his stomach, on the precipice of crashing down like a tidal wave. He digs his nails into Sehun’s back and drags it down as the younger continues to grind, rub, press against his arousal, spilling out curses under his breath, desperate to reach his climax.
“S-Say my name again, baby. I’m so, so close.” Sehun breathes, and Baekhyun can feel the younger’s pace begin to stutter slightly, and he revels in the way Sehun’s breathing begins to come out in long drawn out moans.
“Sehunnie,” His breath hitches when Sehun presses his face into his neck and begins to suck tiny bruises into the supple flesh.
“Oh, fuck. Just like that, Baek.”
He is so close now, he can feel the wave reaching its peak, bordering along the edge as Sehun continues grinding against him.
“It’s okay, you can come, baby. Come for me.” Sehun whispers, and although his voice croaks and hitches in the middle, Baekhyun can still hear the emotion beneath it, enough for goosebumps to form along his body as everything kicks up into hypersensitive mode. His toes curl in and his breathing stops when it comes crashing down, as heavy as a tonne of bricks but still extremely satisfying and pleasurable. His world turns white and all he can hear is Sehun chanting his name as he quickly follows after.
Sehun apologises.
The first thing he does when he gets up is apologise to Baekhyun, and all Baekhyun can do is is laugh. Here he was, sated, relaxed, euphoric, high on the postorgasm haze in his own world and Sehun just apologises. It’s endearing, really, but Baekhyun doesn’t want to be apologised to.
“It’s fine, Sehun. Really.” Baekhyun smiles, shaking his head as the younger male hides his soiled underwear behind his hands. “I didn’t mind it… Especially since it was with you.”
The way Sehun flushes to the roots of his hair has Baekhyun giggling to himself.
It’s the first time he has stepped in a shower with someone. He hides his body behind his hands and backs into a wall as he keeps his eyes on anything but the naked boy in front of him.
“I’m not going to hurt you, hyung.” Sehun says quietly as he pushes the showerhead in Baekhyun’s direction to let warm water wash over him. “Just relax, I’ll help you wash.”
The slide of Sehun’s palm on his wet skin has Baekhyun’s breath hitching, the gentle caresses of his hands when the boy reaches his lower back has him squirming in anticipation.
That night, Baekhyun finds out what it’s like to have a blow job for the first time.
Later, when they’re in bed, clean and tired, Baekhyun drifts off to sleep with his fingers tangled in between Sehun’s. He finds that nothing feels better than the feeling of being in the embrace of someone he loves. He may have a long way to go to forget the terrible memories, but he knows that as long as Sehun is there with him, then conquering something like that would be as easy as falling back in love with his childhood best friend.
Now I am not afraid,
because you’re by my side.
Baekhyun balls his hands into fists and exhales a shaky breath. He is angry. “How… How did you find me?”
“Sorry?” Sehun obviously didn’t expect the sudden change of subject, dropping his hand out of Baekhyun’s hair as he stares, a confused frown tugging at his lips. He watches as Sehun places his blood soiled tissue onto the coffee table.
Baekhyun glares at Sehun, anger boiling through his veins like molten lava. He was angry because the only person he thought would understand him had walked away when he had spilled his darkest secret, he was angry because Sehun had to come from fucking nowhere in all his defined glory and ruined his little sanctity. “I asked how the fuck did you find me? I’m halfway across the country, Sehun. I’m far away from the people who knew me back home. I started anew, and yet… Here you are.”
Baekhyun stands up in anger, about to run out after Lu Han but doesn’t get far when he feels Sehun’s large arms wrap around his waist to pull him down onto his lap. He struggles, a plethora of insults flying out from his mouth as he tries to wriggle free from the younger’s embrace, but Sehun doesn’t give way.
“Let go of me, Oh Sehun.” Baekhyun says through gritted teeth.
“No, you need to hear me out first.” Sehun only tightens his hold, silently waiting for Baekhyun to stop moving.
Baekhyun gives up, thinking that the faster he got this done and over with, the faster he could run and find Lu Han. “Fine.” he huffs, defeated.
“You left me, you know. You didn’t just leave the bad memories, the bad people behind, you left me as well.” Sehun says softly after a moment of silence. His hand is rubbing soothing circles into Baekhyun stomach. It’s a familiar gesture, the same one from his dream. “I was barely twelve, Baek. I didn’t know how to feel when my best friend, my next door neighbour confessed to me. You were my first kiss.”
Baekhyun finds himself smiling despite the memory of what had happened afterwards. Sehun was so shy back then, turned as red as a tomato when Baekhyun leaned in to place a gentle peck on his lips. He finds his heart fluttering at the memory.
“I needed to get away.” he stutters, attempting to will down the fluttering feeling. It’s something he hasn’t felt for a while, not since he left his hometown, since he left Sehun. “I wanted to run away. I wanted to live with the relatives who lived the furthest away from my home.”
“You could’ve told me first, you know? All those years afterwards, I looked for you. I went to every city in search of the boy who stole my heart. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you after what had happened, I wanted to be. I really did. But you shut me out, you just pretended like I didn’t exist.” Sehun gently places his chin in the juncture between Baekhyun’s neck and shoulder, exactly the same way his saviour did in his dream. “When I found you, I was so happy. I- I wanted to run to you, hug you, kiss you until you couldn’t breathe. But, you looked so distant, so far away from everything.”
“Remember that lunch time, you and that tall guy, Chanyeol, were arguing over something? I heard him say something about touching you and I was quick to follow you out. I saw you duck into the library and it took me almost ten minutes to find where you had hidden. You were crying in your sleep. You looked so vulnerable. I just wanted to help you, and when you woke up clinging to me, I… I remembered the small hyung I had fallen in love with. I didn’t want to let go of you, I didn’t want to leave you and I wanted you to remember me. But you didn’t.”
“How could I when you were hiding half of your face?”
“Because you said my name in your sleep. I just wanted to hear you say it to me.”
Outside, the wind howls loudly as thunder rumbles in the distance, but all that can be heard in the small room are two hearts beating, synchronising with one another’s as the taller of the two presses the smaller into the couch they were seated on and leans in for a kiss.
Baekhyun holds his breath. He couldn’t calm down his heart, feeling like it was just about to combust from all the feelings building up inside of it. But the way Sehun was looking at him, through half lidded eyes, with the same love, the same adoration he had from when they were younger, it brings him almost to tears.
This was Oh Sehun, his first friend, his first best friend and his first crush. When other boys began to talk about girls and their pretty smiles and their pretty hair, Baekhyun would think about Sehun’s growing limbs, how the smaller boy was already his height at twelve. He thought about how Sehun would sneak over cake his mother would bake just before bedtime, because he knew Baekhyun wasn’t allowed to have sweets after six.
This was the boy Baekhyun had grown up with and had shared his first kiss with. The boy who had looked across the country just to find him. The boy he should have never left behind.
“I still love you, hyung. It wasn’t just puppy love, it never was.” Sehun breathes before leaning in and capturing Baekhyun’s lips with his.
The world seems to suddenly slow down to a crawl when their lips meet. He knows Sehun can feel how fast his heart is currently beating, their chest pressed flushed together as the younger slides his tongue along the seam of his lips. They’re still slightly damp from standing out in the rain, but he doesn’t seem to care, only caring about the slide of Sehun’s lips against his. His fingers to tremble ever so slightly when they grasp around the back of Sehun’s neck to pull him in deeper.
Warmth blooms inside of his chest, tingling as it circulates around his body and travels to the tips of his fingers, to the pads of his toes. His head is spinning, and he thinks that maybe Sehun was his saviour after all. Sehun is the one who would be there to pick up the pieces to rebuild Baekhyun, and even though there’d be thousands of tiny cracks, of imperfect lines, Sehun would kiss them and tell him that’s what makes him beautiful. A porcelain doll with imperfections is better than one that looks exactly like the others; a clone. Because Baekhyun isn’t a clone, Baekhyun is one of a kind.
When they pull away, Sehun’s face is flushed a pretty pink, his lips are saliva-slicked and his eyes are lust-hooded. Baekhyun finds him beautiful. “We should probably talk to Lu Han about this. I don’t think he’d take it to well if he found out I just molested his “pup”.”
It’s the first time Baekhyun has laughed in a while, and he finds that it feels good.
They find Lu Han sitting outside, a cigarette dangling in between his fingers as he watches the rain pelt into the concrete and disappear into puddles below. Baekhyun didn’t even know Lu Han smoked.
“Hey, Lu.” Baekhyun says softly, wrapping a jacket he had taken with him before leaving their dorm around Lu Han’s small shoulders. Lu Han nods his head in acknowledgement, but doesn’t say anything. Baekhyun slides into the seat across from him as Sehun stands off to the side. “I’m sorry.”
He flicks end of his cigarette and Baekhyun watches as grey ashes float slowly to the ground. “You shouldn’t be apologising, you did nothing wrong.” he says, bringing to tip back to his mouth to inhale more nicotine. “I should be the one apologising though. I’m sorry. I was being selfish. It’s your past, not mine. You can choose who you want to tell. I just… I didn’t expect that.” Smoke leaves his mouth in wispy strands as he speaks, curling like lace around his lips before dissipating into the atmosphere above.
“It’s not something I like to talk about.” Baekhyun replies quietly, digging his nails into his palm. “I felt like a murderer for so long, Lu. That I did something wrong, that it was my fault my mother died. Only because my stepfather had seen me kissing Sehun. It was my fault, if I didn’t.. If I didn’t do that-”
“You were fucking fifteen, Baekhyun. Stop it. There was something obviously wrong with your stepfather if he wanted to kill a fifteen year old boy for liking another boy.” Lu Han scoffs as he throws his cigarette butt on the ground and presses it out with the heel of his shoe. “I’m just so fucking angry. You lost your mum because you had a fucked up stepfather. Why would it matter if you liked boys? She was trying to save you Baekhyun, and all you can think about is how it was apparently your fault when it’s not. Do you think your mother would want that? Seeing you mope around when she saved your life?”
Baekhyun doesn’t respond, his words caught in a lump at the back of his throat.
“No, Baekhyun.” Lu Han answers for him. “Your mum would want you to live life to the fullest. You’re still alive and that disgusting, homophobic man is gone. You have me and you have Sehun now so it shouldn’t matter. If anyone says anything about you being gay then I’ll fuck them up for you. Only because I look like a gay fairy doesn’t mean I fight like one.”
At this, Baekhyun cracks a small smile. Hearing Lu Han call himself a gay fairy, even when he often likes to tell people he’s manly, is kind of amusing. Lu Han reciprocates with a smile of his own. “See, pup, you look lovely when you smile. Just be happy.”
Often, Baekhyun finds himself wondering what life would be like if Sehun hadn’t ended up finding him.
Having just finished finals, he finds it’s just like second nature now when Sehun comes over more often than not, settling himself in and annoying Lu Han the same way he did to Baekhyun when they were younger. Sehun had successfully managed to plant himself into their lives, leaving his clothes and toiletries all over the place even when he had a dorm of his own.
But it isn’t like Baekhyun is complaining. He doesn’t have nightmares anymore, not when Sehun cuddles him to sleep on the nights Lu Han isn’t home. The bad memories are safely stored away in the back of his mind, under lock and key, having no reason to back come out. It doesn’t plague his thoughts, not when Sehun takes up most of his time now. His heart is still torn, and his soul is still shattered, but Sehun is slowly picking up the pieces whenever they fall, gently placing them back inside Baekhyun’s tired form as he kisses the scars away.
Sometimes Lu Han doesn’t return home for days, and Sehun ends up staying over.
Baekhyun doesn’t know how he had gotten in this position, watching tiredly from his bed as Sehun strips off his shirt, revealing a long expanse of his back, unblemished, milky and beautiful. However, when Sehun reaches for the buckle of his belt, and begins taking it off slowly, unaware that Baekhyun is still watching, is the exact moment when Baekhyun feels something stir deep inside of his belly.
Off goes the belt, then slowly Sehun pulls his jeans down, revealing his very nice derriere. Baekhyun can feel his face flush in embarrassment. Never has he felt this way for someone before.
“You alright, pup?” Sehun asks tiredly, crawling into bed before wrapping an arm around Baekhyun’s waist and pulling the elder back flush against his chest. Baekhyun hums a reply, suddenly aware that there were only two layers of clothing separating them, and then suddenly he’s very aware of Sehun’s crotch resting up against his ass. His body flushes all over. “You smell nice.” Sehun mutters, nuzzling his nose into Baekhyun’s neck and inhaling deeply. The contact on his neck causes a wave of goosebumps to prick at his arms and his heart to flutter.
Baekhyun only hums a response again, afraid that if he opens his mouth, a very embarrassing sound might come out.
Sehun’s fingers skitter underneath the hem of his shirt, skimming towards his side before they’re running ever so gently along the scar on his hip. It feels extremely intimate; no one has ever touched his scar before, not even Lu Han. “You’re beautiful, Baekhyun. So, so beautiful. Everything about you is perfect.”
And he doesn’t know why, but the way Sehun says it, the way his voice lowers as he whispers the sweet words, makes Baekhyun’s toes curl and his member come to life inside of his briefs. Not once has Baekhyun watched porn. He had never felt the need to, not when he couldn’t feel many emotions at all. So it is a new experience to be able to feel arousal, and it’s something Baekhyun finds himself liking.
Sehun scrapes his nails along the skin underneath Baekhyun’s navel, causing the elder to elicit a not so innocent sound, and he can feel Sehun’s smirk pressing into the skin of his neck.
“Naughty pup.” Sehun laughs softly, but doesn’t stop his fingers as they skitter closer to the elastic of Baekhyun’s briefs. He does it slowly, giving enough time for Baekhyun to stop him. And although Baekhyun finds it extremely embarrassing to admit, he doesn’t want Sehun to stop.
Baekhyun’s squirming in anticipation and nervousness by the time Sehun sits up and pushes him flat so he’s lying on his back. He climbs on top of Baekhyun and begins to press chaste kisses to his forehead, his eyelids, the tip of his nose and to each of his cheeks, teasingly missing where Baekhyun wanted to be kissed most.
Baekhyun doesn’t realise he has let out a whine until Sehun laughs.
“Where do you want me to kiss you, hm?” he says teasingly, trailing kisses down from Baekhyun’s jawline to the column of his neck.
Baekhyun can barely speak. He’s caught up in a haze of pleasure, to the gentle thrum of his heartbeat as Sehun nips a place on his neck he didn’t even know could feel that good.
“S-Sehun…” Baekhyun whines, and Sehun stops, leaning back to look at him, a playful smirk tugging at his lips. Baekhyun worries his bottom lip, looking anywhere but at the younger’s face as he shyly whispers: “Kiss me on the lips, please.” And he feels kind of stupid for begging, but when Sehun complies straight away and leans down, pressing his slightly chapped lips into Baekhyun’s, all of his inhibitions ends up flying out the window.
Sehun kisses with fervour, nipping at Baekhyun’s bottom lip before he slides his tongue along the swell to soothe it. His tongue is soft, warm, gentle in Baekhyun’s mouth, and even though Baekhyun hasn’t kissed anybody like this before, he thinks Sehun is extremely good at it, judging by the way sparks of electricity shoots straight down from their connected lips and sizzles deep in his lower region.
All nervousness dissipates to just anticipation when Sehun grinds his very erect member against Baekhyun’s own one. The noise Sehun makes in the back of his throat is enough to have Baekhyun treading on very thin ice towards the edge.
“Baekhyun, Baekhyun, Baekhyun.” Sehun groans, rolling his hips again, and again, and again as he presses down hard enough for Baekhyun to feel the throb of the younger’s member on top of his. A low growl is caught in the back of Sehun’s throat, so when he speaks, it sounds deliciously gravelly. “Oh God, baby.”
“Ah, Sehun.” Baekhyun moans, feeling his end coming much too fast as it rises like a tsunami in his stomach, on the precipice of crashing down like a tidal wave. He digs his nails into Sehun’s back and drags it down as the younger continues to grind, rub, press against his arousal, spilling out curses under his breath, desperate to reach his climax.
“S-Say my name again, baby. I’m so, so close.” Sehun breathes, and Baekhyun can feel the younger’s pace begin to stutter slightly, and he revels in the way Sehun’s breathing begins to come out in long drawn out moans.
“Sehunnie,” His breath hitches when Sehun presses his face into his neck and begins to suck tiny bruises into the supple flesh.
“Oh, fuck. Just like that, Baek.”
He is so close now, he can feel the wave reaching its peak, bordering along the edge as Sehun continues grinding against him.
“It’s okay, you can come, baby. Come for me.” Sehun whispers, and although his voice croaks and hitches in the middle, Baekhyun can still hear the emotion beneath it, enough for goosebumps to form along his body as everything kicks up into hypersensitive mode. His toes curl in and his breathing stops when it comes crashing down, as heavy as a tonne of bricks but still extremely satisfying and pleasurable. His world turns white and all he can hear is Sehun chanting his name as he quickly follows after.
Sehun apologises.
The first thing he does when he gets up is apologise to Baekhyun, and all Baekhyun can do is is laugh. Here he was, sated, relaxed, euphoric, high on the postorgasm haze in his own world and Sehun just apologises. It’s endearing, really, but Baekhyun doesn’t want to be apologised to.
“It’s fine, Sehun. Really.” Baekhyun smiles, shaking his head as the younger male hides his soiled underwear behind his hands. “I didn’t mind it… Especially since it was with you.”
The way Sehun flushes to the roots of his hair has Baekhyun giggling to himself.
It’s the first time he has stepped in a shower with someone. He hides his body behind his hands and backs into a wall as he keeps his eyes on anything but the naked boy in front of him.
“I’m not going to hurt you, hyung.” Sehun says quietly as he pushes the showerhead in Baekhyun’s direction to let warm water wash over him. “Just relax, I’ll help you wash.”
The slide of Sehun’s palm on his wet skin has Baekhyun’s breath hitching, the gentle caresses of his hands when the boy reaches his lower back has him squirming in anticipation.
That night, Baekhyun finds out what it’s like to have a blow job for the first time.
Later, when they’re in bed, clean and tired, Baekhyun drifts off to sleep with his fingers tangled in between Sehun’s. He finds that nothing feels better than the feeling of being in the embrace of someone he loves. He may have a long way to go to forget the terrible memories, but he knows that as long as Sehun is there with him, then conquering something like that would be as easy as falling back in love with his childhood best friend.
Now I am not afraid,
because you’re by my side.