Not A Bad Thing for EVERYONE (2/2)
Kim Jongin: Hey Kyungsoo…
Do Kyungsoo: ??
Kim Jongin: I'm not a photographer, but I can picture me and you together.
Do Kyungsoo: What.
Kim Jongin: Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material.
Do Kyungsoo: Jong, are you drunk?
Kim Jongin: I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated by you.
Do Kyungsoo: Okay mister, where are you? I’ll come pick you up.
Kim Jongin: If you were a booger I'd pick you first.
Do Kyungsoo: Okay I’ll let that one go and consider it as a compliment. Now give the phone to Baekhyun so I know where to pick you up.
A drunk Jongin answers the phone the moment Kyungsoo’s call enters.
“Kyu-Kyu-Kyungsoo…I - hic - weally weally….- hic - like you.” Jongin says in between hiccups. Loud club music plays in the background and Kyungsoo has to put extra effort into deciphering what Jongin is murmuring. “Soo…do you-hic- wike me?”
At this rate, Kyungsoo is far too worried over Jongin to even feel giddy over what the younger is confessing to him.
“Jongin, you’re drunk. Are you with Baek? Give the phone to him.”
“You - hic, don’t want to - hic - talk to me?”
Kyungsoo could almost imagine Jongin pouting in the scene. “Baekhyun, I hate you! Kyungsoo likes you more than he likes me.”
There’s a brief sniffle and a rustling of clothes till Kyungsoo hears Baekhyun’s voice.
“Yoooo Kyungsoo, whaddup?”
“Whaddup yourself. What did you do to Jongin and where are you?”
“Aww the momma hen is angry…”
Baekhyun even has the balls to tease Kyungsoo when he’s this worried already. How brave.
“You wouldn’t want me angry, Baek. Now tell me where you are or I’m going to burn all your beloved clothes and leak all the nude photos you took on my phone.”
Who in their right mind would even use another’s phone to take nude selcas?
“Club Java, from the apartment you turn right then turn left then take the stairs, it’s in the basement.”
Gone is the playful Baekyun and is now replaced by a scared Baekhyun.
“You better fix him. I expect to just pick him up the moment I get there.”
“Yes, sir.”
Jongin wakes up in a pool full of shame and despair the next day.
-----
The weather is cold and the night oh so bright when Jongin decides to take Kyungsoo to the park to unwind. There aren’t a lot of people in the park, choosing to stay indoors, sipping hot tea while catching up with friends instead of looking at the beautiful stars up in the sky. Jongin and Kyungsoo are both wearing black wool turtle necks with black pants and shoes; a pure coincidence, considering that they haven’t talked about their attire for the day.
Kyungsoo blushes when Jongin hands him his coffee. Jongin looks different today; he’s composed and calm instead of his usual perky self. Jongin’s headphone dangle on his neck and a small paper bag filled with food is on his left hand. Kyungsoo, on the other hand, is jittery over the whole thing.
Tonight feels different than the usual dates they have.
Tonight feels like something’s about to happen.
“You want to sit there?” Jongin points to a bench near the fountain, one where the stars could easily be seen. Kyungsoo nods and races Jongin to it. He’s not normally playful, but the atmosphere is suffocating him so much he feels that something bad is about to happen any minute. Jongin merely smiles as he follows suit. The smile on Kyungsoo’s face evaporates the closer Jongin is.
Jongin’s leaving him, huh? This is goodbye. Their final moment together then Jongin’s finally giving up on him.
Just like what Yifan did.
“The stars look great today, don’t you think?” Jongin starts the conversation. The view from the bench is exceptional as they both stare upwards, body slumped on the bench in an uncomfortable manner. Kyungsoo thinks the stars don’t look as great as Jongin’s eyes whenever he looks at him.
“I suppose so…” Kyungsoo mutters.
“You okay?” There is worry in Jongin’s voice as he glances at Kyungsoo’s direction. Kyungsoo looks serious. His lips are pursed into a thin line while he stares at the stars above and he absent-mindedly sips his coffee. Jongin removes his jacket and drapes it on Kyungsoo’s thin body.
“But you’ll get cold...” Kyungsoo protests, but Jongin is adamant on giving his jacket to Kyungsoo. “Nah, it’s not even that cold.”
Sure, 20 degrees Celsius isn’t that cold.
Jongin fishes his phone out of his jeans pocket and starts playing his favourite Angela Aki song - This Love. Kyungsoo is confused. Jongin is even providing background music for their “break-up” even though they’re not really together. The kid probably rehearsed the scenario in his head for countless of time. He led Kyungsoo on.
“Soo, I have something to tell you…” Jongin starts.
Kyungsoo’s going to be dumped by a guy who’s not even his boyfriend.
“We’ve been doing this whole dating thing for a while now…”
Jongin’s giving up on him. Natural reaction, especially since Kyungsoo’s not even giving him the official ‘yes’ that he wants.
“And I mean, I would like to, you know, know if we can…”
“Stop this? It’s up to you Jongin.”
The sadness in Kyungsoo’s voice is reciprocated by the shocked expression on Jongin’s face. Jongin’s eyebrows are furrowed as he looks questioningly at Kyungsoo. Where did the stopping come from?
“What? Kyungsoo, have you’ve been leading me on all this time?”
“You’re the one who’s leading me on! You’re just like Yifan, aren’t you? You give me these….these feelings! And then leave me when you’re done playing with me!” Kyungsoo’s furious by now. Jongin’s jacket is now on the bench as Kyungsoo stands in front of Jongin, eyes watery due to supressed tears.
“Wait Soo, you have feelings for me?”
Kyungsoo wants to be mad at the mockery in Jongin’s voice, but he feels useless and stupid. He should have listened to his gut feelings and protected his wall against Jongin. Now look at him? Jongin is done playing with him, so now the guy is going to pretend he’s sorry and things just aren’t working when really he’s just bored with Kyungsoo already. Kyungsoo stares one last time at Jongin before shaking his head and walking away, but then a hand stops him. Jongin pulls Kyungsoo back and into a tight embrace.
“Soo, Soo you got it wrong. I’m not playing with you!” Kyungsoo struggles to get out of the embrace, but Jongin only pulls him closer. “I like you! I mean, I really really reaaaally like you, Kyungsoo.” Jongin nuzzles his face on Kyungsoo’s neck, breathing him in - the want to make him feel wanted so strong. “Why do you think I’m playing with you? I wouldn’t have spent all those months shamelessly clinging to you like a desperate leech if I don’t like you….”
“But you looked so serious…” Kyungsoo finally breaks out into tears. Jongin’s embrace tightens with every sniff of Kyungsoo. “I thought you were going to leave me because I still haven’t given you your ‘yes’…” An exasperated sigh leaves Jongin’s mouth. Why does Kyungsoo always think the worst when it comes to him?
“So does this mean a yes?” Jongin wipes the traces of tears on Kyungsoo’s cheeks with his fingers, an apologetic smile on his face as he stares at the face of his The One.
“Depends…you haven’t asked me yet.”
“Would you like to go out with me?” Jongin holds both of Kyungsoo’s hands.
“Definitely.”
Kyungsoo squeezes his boyfriend’s hands and lands a chaste kiss on his lips.
-----
Everything’s the same and different.
Even after months of being together, Jongin is still as loving to his boyfriend as he was before. But there are minor changes like Kyungsoo being more expressive of his feelings toward Jongin and Kyungsoo doing sweet things for Jongin every now and then.
Jongin thinks its cute how his boyfriend has changed when they became official. He now has a key to Kyungsoo’s flat and Kyungsoo has a key to his. Kyungsoo dotes on Jongin as much as he dotes on Kyungsoo. There are times when Kyungsoo would surprise him with small things like chocolates and coffee or even help him with his essays (just the grammar part because let’s be real Engineering is a really tough course if Math hates you.) Same goes, Jongin continues to make Kyungsoo swoon head over heels with his simple words and actions.
It goes like this for a couple of months until Jongin decides to enter the dancing competition with Yixing.
“The competition is in two weeks, Kyungsoo.” Jongin explains one night, while they’re eating ramen at Ippudo. The ramen place isn’t as crowded as it usually is and Chanyeol sits them in their usual table, the table they sat on when they ate there together for the first time. Kyungsoo wipes his lips with a napkin. Yes, he gets it. The competition is in two weeks. His boyfriend is going to be busy. That’s perfectly okay. He’s a supportive boyfriend. He’s got this.
“Yes, you’ve told me a few hours ago.” The spicy broth of his Karaka-men is nothing short of delicious and he slurps it down like water. Haemorrhoids be damned. “I’ll support you, Jong. Isn’t dancing the one thing your most passionate about? Go and fulfill it.”
Kyungsoo drops the spoon and chopsticks on the table and squeezes his boyfriend’s hands. Jongin offers a thankful smile to his boyfriend as he squeezes Kyungsoo’s hands back. Dancing has always been his ultimate passion (apart from loving Kyungsoo that is) and to be given this once in a lifetime chance to compete in a national dancing competition is just surreal.
“I will be really busy…” Jongin gulps down his water and wipes his lips with a napkin before really looking at Kyungsoo. He needs to know if it’s really okay with Kyungsoo. Ever since that faithful day they met, he’s never spent a day without Kyungsoo. He may not spend the entire day with Kyungsoo, but one way or another he finds time for him even if its 5 minutes spent in front of his boyfriend’s flat just to give him his favourite coffee or an hour-long study session in the library.
“It’s fine, Jong. I understand you.” Kyungsoo grins at Jongin. “This competition is important for you.”
It’s just a few days of practice. It’s not like Jongin’s leaving for the military anyway.
The look of happiness in Jongin’s face is more than enough sign for Kyungsoo to know that Jongin is thankful for the support. Jongin suddenly stands up and pulls Kyungsoo to his embrace, uncaring of the judging eyes around them. Kyungsoo yelps and dictates Jongin to put him down, but Jongin only laughs at his boyfriend.
“Best boyfriend ever.” He mutters as he nuzzles Kyungsoo’s neck. His hold on Kyungsoo doesn’t ease out despite dropping him to the ground. Kyungsoo could feel the warmth seep out of Jongin’s hands, his boyfriend’s breath tickling his neck.
One of the best part of being in an official relationship with Jongin is the PDA, Kyungsoo thinks.
“Okay loverbirds, cut it out and pay for your meal. That’s more than enough cheese for an entire country.” Chanyeol tiredly says, putting the used plates on a tray and wiping the table clean with a soaped cloth and water.
“You’re just jealous Baekhyun still hasn’t picked up on your moves on him.”
“Shush it, Jongin. You know nothing.”
Chanyeol’s sniffs could be heard throughout the kitchen that night.
-----
The first few days of Jongin’s practice is tolerable. The determination and passion lingers in every precise move as his shoes squeak against the wooden tiles of the dance studio. His sweat-drenched muscle shirt should definitely be changed, but he ignores the clinging sweat and continues to dance when Yixing plays the music again from the beginning. They’ve been at it for 2 straight hours now and nobody is showing any signs of stopping as both examine themselves in the full length mirror.
“You need to lift your arm higher”, Yixing demonstrates. “then jump before you crouch down on the floor.” Jongin stares at Yixing, memorizing every instruction, before nodding and doing the choreography himself.
Yixing claps him in the back when he finally gets the right movement. They continue to dance for a few more minutes before calling quits. Jongin falls down on the floor while Yixing grabs their water bottles from the corner of the room and throws Jongin his.
“Nice of Kyungsoo to support you.” Yixing casually says. Jongin just smiles despite the exhaustion.
“Yeah…” He mutters. Kyungsoo must be waiting for him. Jongin checks his phone and sees a couple of text messages from Sehun and Kyungsoo. Sehun’s usual ‘dude, I’m hungry’ text message is drowned by the series of texts from Kyungsoo.
Do Kyungsoo: Don’t overwork yourself!
Do Kyungsoo: You want to eat dinner later?
Do Kyungsoo: I miss you. ☹
Do Kyungsoo: Stuck with Baekhyun. Forcing him to talk about cockroaches with Chanyeol.
Why is it not abnormal to have cockroaches as conversation topic? Ah yes. Because its Baekhyun.
Jongin just can’t wait to meet Kyungsoo that night to hug him and possibly cuddle with him. But first, shower.
“Xing, I gotta go.”
-----
“Jongin, meet my classmate, Sulli.” Yixing introduces a slim, pale girl with big brown eyes and dark long hair to Jongin. A sweet smile decorates Sulli’s face as she offers her hand to Jongin. “She’ll be watching us from now on. She’s a dancer, ballet though, but still a dancer. I figured we’d need a third person to point the mistakes on our choreography.”
Jongin merely nods as he gauges Sulli with his eyes.
“Nice to meet you, Jongin.”
-----
“You need to lower yourself more.”
“Watch your expressions, it will make or break your performance more than precise movements.”
“Xing, put more effort into the twirl.”
Sulli turns out is as strict as an old, single lady. There’s a stern look on her face and her hands are on her hips as she scrutinizes every move of the duo. They have been repeating the whole choreography for the competition since morning and it’s already nearing lunch. Jongin’s energy is depleted and it’s obvious with how he’s struggling to get a breather despite the muscle pains. Yixing’s not any better - shamelessly lying on the floor with his sweat-drenched clothes, shouting all his pain out.
“Okay, I get it. Let’s take a break.” Sulli goes to the far corner of the dance studio where all their belongings are. She throws a water bottle to Yixing’s direction before walking towards Jongin who is now leaning on the mirrors.
“Thanks.”, Jongin mutters when Sulli gives him the water bottle. Sulli only smiles before crouching down on the floor next to him and suddenly wiping his sweat.
It’s too intimate. Way too intimate for comfort.
With wide eyes, Jongin slaps Sulli’s hands away before he could even stop himself. There is obvious hurt in Sulli’s eyes as the towel falls to the floor. “I’m-I’m sorry.” Jongin mutters before picking the towel and running to grab his bag.
“Gotta go Xing, Kyungsoo’s waiting for me!”
Jongin leaves the room feeling a little more confused than normal.
-----
“Competition’s tomorrow, huh?”
Jongin and Kyungsoo are having an early breakfast at the Breakfast House, towers of hot fluffy pancakes in front of them as soon as they finish catching up with each other’s lives. Jongin nods as he digs on his food before passing the syrup to Kyungsoo.
It has been a week since the incident with Sulli and a week since he last met Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo has been preoccupied with exams while Jongin has been swamped with day to day dance practices. To say that things didn’t go awkward between Jongin and Sulli would be an understatement. Sulli keeps on making a move on Jongin while the latter keeps on getting away from her as subtle as possible.
Although subtle is not in Jongin’s vocabulary as attention is not in Yixing’s.
Yixing doesn’t even have an inkling on what’s happening between Sulli and Jongin even if its already been a week, mind too focused on the objective at hand.
Jongin has yet to tell Kyungsoo about Sulli. It pains him to lie to Kyungsoo (because technically omission of the truth is considered a lie), but his friends warned him of the repercussions of actually telling his boyfriend about a girl who’s making a move on him.
“Dude, do you want to get killed?” Sehun’s furious when Jongin tells him his plans for the first time. “You know Kyungsoo has a bad history with third persons. Do you really want to ignite fire to the situation?”
Zitao pats Jongin in the back. “Sehunnie’s right, Jongin. You tell Kyungsoo about this Sulli girl, and you’ll end up cold and lonely once again.”
This is why Jongin finds it hard to even look Kyungsoo in the eye. Or even hold his hand when Kyungsoo attempts for skinship. He just can’t do it, especially when he’s conscience is constantly bugging him to do what he thinks is right.
“Are you still going to practice tonight?” Kyungsoo asks nonchalantly as he smothers the remaining pancakes on his plate with syrup and whip cream.
“Just in the afternoon. Yixing wants us to relax the night before, so we don’t panic tomorrow.”
“Oh okay then.” Kyungsoo carefully places his utensils at the right side of the plate and wipes his mouth with a napkin. “I was wondering if you’d like to spend tonight with me…I mean I rented a few movies…uhm…we could watch them if you want.”
Movies mean something.
Movies mean cuddling in the dark while sitting on Kyungsoo’s sofa.
Movies can even mean more than cuddling.
Jongin shudders just at the thought of movies.
“Sure.” Jongin grabs Kyungsoo’s hand and squeezes it, a sly grin written all over his face. “We can watch movies all night long if you want.”
It’s greasier than all of the burgers Kyungsoo ate last night.
He scrunches his face in feigned irritation and slaps Jongin in the hand.
Today is kicking off to a good start.
-----
Kyungsoo stares at all of the food he randomly bought at the nearby supermarket - a loaf of bread, lettuce, a tray of eggs, chicken and some spread. His hands are on his hips and his eyebrows are furrowed together. Why did he even think he could do this?
An incessant rubbing could be felt on Kyungsoo’s legs and he looks below only to see Kai purring, obviously demanding for food. The cat could definitely smell the food on the table. It’s the bad side of having a small flat - anything you open could be smelt all over the place.
“Later, Kai. I need to make food for Jongin.” He gets down to pet Kai before putting him inside his cage. He’s got some magic to do and he’s got to do it now or else he won’t make it in time to surprise his boyfriend at the dance studio.
The idea came to Kyungsoo when Baekhyun told him about Chanyeol’s surprise for him.
“Just imagine my shock when Chanyeol visited me with a tray full of food.” Baekhyun almost spits his food to Kyungsoo. Someone please remind Kyungsoo to give Baekhyun Table Manners 101 as a Christmas gift.
“I’m sure you were.” Kyungsoo’s voice is laced with nothing, but sarcasm as he gracefully eats his sandwich.
It’s a Friday afternoon and Kyungsoo finds himself being forced to spend time with Baekhyun instead of just staying in his dorm to prepare for the movies. He still can’t believe he initiated it this time. His cheeks redden without warning which makes Baekhyun ask “You okay, Soo?”. Kyungsoo nods so vigorously he ends up aching in the process.
“Anyway, Jongin’s competition is tomorrow, huh?” Baekhyun’s finally done eating his fair share of the food. “Any plans for him?”
Kyungsoo almost chokes, indecent thoughts zooming past his brains. Baekhyun passes him the water and taps his back till he feels alright.
“We’re going to watch a movie later.”
“That’s it?”
What does Baekhyun even know about dating?
“What do you mean that’s it? Am I supposed to do something?”
“You’re not even going to surprise your boyfriend?” Baekhyun gathers their trash and throws it at a nearby trash can. “Jongin must be really stressed now. He could do with a gift from you.”
“A gift, huh?” Kyungsoo contemplates. A gift for Jongin does sound nice. They haven’t been spending time with each other and Jongin doesn’t really show his stressed to Kyungsoo, opting to look carefree and confident most of the time.
Kyungsoo’s mind races with different ideas while Baekhyun proceeds to move to another topic
.
“Done!” Kyungsoo proudly shouts to no one. Below him, Kai yawns, raising his head, before going back to his sleeping position. Four pieces of chicken sandwiches so stuffed its ingredients can almost fall out are placed in a clean plate. Kyungsoo grins to himself because ha! He’s a grown-up now! He can actually feed another person now!
The time is almost 5 in the afternoon and Kyungsoo needs to leave now if he still wants to catch Jongin at the studio. Yixing offered to stall for him if needed, but then knowing Yixing, the guy must have forgotten it by now. Kyungsoo places the sandwich in a Ziplock before putting them in a brown paper bag. He has 10 minutes to shower then leave or else he really won’t be able to catch Jongin at the dance studio.
Thoroughly delighted, Kyungsoo skips through his things to get decent clothes for their ‘movie’ date.
-----
The dance studio is located in the basement of a famous bakery in Hongdae.
Kyungsoo is practically freezing by the time he’s climbing down the stairs to the dance studio. The weather has been crazy lately, especially now that it’s dropped to a -1 degrees Celsius. He rubs his palms together and breathes on it through his thick wool gloves. Damn why does winter have to be so freaking cold?, Kyungsoo muses. Hopefully his chicken sandwich is still hot within the comforts of his backpack.
The door creaks when Kyungsoo touches it. There are no loud sounds, no heavy footsteps; it’s eerily silent except for Kyungsoo’s cheerful call for his boyfriend.
“Jongin-ah, I brought-“ Kyungsoo’s voice gets caught up in his throat. Jongin’s back is against the floor-length mirror, his hair tousled and his legs steady. His mouth is locked with another - a girl with big eyes and long luscious locks. Her hands are secured on Jongin’s hips while her head is twisted to the side.
Kyungsoo doesn’t know what to feel.
He’s rendered immobile from where he is, completely mute and dizzy from what he’s seeing in front of him. When did this started? Who is that woman? Why are they kissing? Did Jongin pull off a Yifan on him? Thousands of questions swirl on his mind to the point
that he doesn’t realize Yixing’s hand on his shoulders, greeting him enthusiastically, completely oblivious to what Kyungsoo is seeing.
“Hey Kyungsoo! Glad to see you here! Jongin is-“ Yixing’s eyes grow big when he sees Sulli smothering Jongin’s face. “What the fucking hell?” Yixing shouts, finally getting the two’s attention. Jongin is flustered the moment he sees his teary-eyed boyfriend by the door. Talk about wrong timing. The pained expression on Kyungsoo’s face tugs on Jongin’s heart and he immediately knows he’s screwed up so bad. Jongin pushes Sulli harshly, uncaring of how she fell on the floor, before he follows Kyungsoo who’s now running out of the studio and into the freezing streets of Hongdae.
Kyungsoo should have known better.
He should have seen it coming.
Why would someone as handsome as Jongin like him completely? Nobody ever will.
Hell, he doesn’t even like himself completely.
Kyungsoo stops running the moment he feels a familiar warmth on his skin. Instead of tingles, he feels pain with the warmth. He shakes his hand away and walks without looking back. “Kyungsoo, I can explain…” There is frustration in Jongin’s voice and Kyungsoo thinks he has no right to have that kind of voice. Cheaters don’t have the right to feel frustration and pain because they inflict so much more to the people they cheat on. Tears pool on his eyes and he forces himself not to blink and not to think and just be strong in front of Jongin. Jongin has no right to see him so weak…not after what he did to him.
“You don’t need to explain anything.” Kyungsoo tries his best to smile despite knowing how much his heart hurts. “I get it. You don’t like me anymore.” A sarcastic laugh escapes his mouth. “Wish you could have told me earlier though, instead of lying to me…” He’s too tired of this. Why did he even think he could actually love again?
“No Soo, you got it wrong. Sulli kissed me-“
“So Sulli’s the name, huh? A pretty name for a pretty girl.”
“Kyungsoo, I don’t like her.” Jongin is pleading now, hands grabbing Kyungsoo’s and squeezing them tightly as if doing that would make Kyungsoo believe him more. “I like you, Soo. I only like you and nobody else.” Kyungsoo can barely see Jongin’s scared face beyond his glassy eyes, but he could definitely feel the desperation in Jongin’s actions. But why? Why would Jongin do it, yet beg for his forgiveness now? Kyungsoo doesn’t get it.
He is too confused for this right now.
With a deep exhale, Kyungsoo carefully pushes Jongin off him and walks to God knows where. At the back of his mid, Kyungsoo wishes Jongin would continue to plead and struggle just to ensure Kyungsoo that he really likes him and there’s a valid explanation to what he did. Kyungsoo might forgive Jongin if he actually does beg for it. Maybe. But nothing came except for the cold and biting winter wind.
Later that evening, Baekhyun throws the uneaten chicken sandwiches in Kyungsoo’s bag.
-----
“Why the hell did you do that?!”
Baekhyun’s fist greets Jongin the moment he gets home after the dance competition.
Yixing and Jongin won despite the circumstances. Yixing glared at him and Sulli the moment he came close to them. Sulli shivered at the thought of an angry Yixing and fled almost instantly. Yixing might be forgetful and high most of the time, but he rarely gets angry to the point that people are scared to see how he’s angry.
Jongin’s the very first person who’s got a taste of Yixing’s wrath.
“Why did you do that?” Sure, Jongin is his friend, not Kyungsoo, but a wrong is still a wrong. “I thought you’re better than that, Jong.” Yixing is obviously disappointed with Jongin, but Jongin feels misunderstood especially when he’s at the losing end here. He did not kiss Sulli intentionally; the girl forced herself on him when she got the chance.
“She suddenly attacked me, Xing! What did you want me to do?”
“You could have stopped her!”
Their loud voices ring in the otherwise silent dance studio. Jongin feels like his heart is about to explode. Kyungsoo left him for a misunderstanding. And now he can’t go to where Kyungsoo is to explain himself because he needs to be at the arena in 30 minutes. It’s a choice between his priorities and responsibilities.
Jongin ended up going to the competition. Because it’s the responsible thing to do.
So now he’s being thrown to the ground by Baekhyun’s punch.
The rough surface of the pavement scratches Jongin’s face and it burns, but he really could care less. He guesses he deserves this kind of treatment. After all, he hurt Baekhyun’s little prince. He has no energy or right to fight back because he deserves this. Definitely.
There’s blood oozing on his skin when Baekhyun pulls him by the collar, vengeance obvious in his eyes. He has never seen Baekhyun so mad; the older opting for humor and happiness most of the time.
“I trusted you, Jong.” Disappointment and anger is etched on Baekhyun’s face as he takes a breather on top of Jongin. “I thought you’re good for him, but you’re actually worse than Yifan…” Jongin stares as Baekhyun purses his lips, eyes sad and hands tightening on his collar before the elder is shaking his head and getting up.
“I can explain, Baek.” Jongin tries to say, but Baekhyun is waving his hand at him already. “It’s already too late for your explanation. Just…get away from Kyungsoo from now on.”
Jongin has never thought that the sight of Baekhyun leaving would be so painful for him.
-----
Jongin has never been one to give up, especially when it comes to people he loves.
He has been trying to apologize to Kyungsoo ever since that fateful day Sulli attacked him.
He spent the first morning begging Kyungsoo for mercy, practically sprawled on the floor in front of Kyungsoo’s door. The floor was cold, but he could care less. He worried about losing Kyungsoo more than death due to hypothermia, but Kyungsoo never went out of his room.
When Kyungsoo finally did leave his room that night to eat, he never paid even just a single attention to Jongin, opting to look straight with a stoic face and with a determination of a military officer. Jongin would try to grab his legs, but Kyungsoo would only glare at him.
“Go home and eat, Jongin.” is the only tired response from Kyungsoo before he leaves Jongin alone in the empty and cold corridor.
The rest of the days were spent trying to get Kyungsoo’s attention.
In the morning before class, Jongin would leave food on Kyungsoo’s doorstep. There’s always a sticky note of “Sorry, but please listen to my explanation.” In hopes that Kyungsoo would at least even listen to him, if not forgive him. In between classes, Jongin would spend his free time trying to get back to Kyungsoo’s life, but Kyungsoo would either be too busy or hiding somewhere he doesn’t know. The nights were spent on the cold corridor of Kyungsoo’s dorm to the point that Jongin’s body had adjusted on the lack of heater in the corridor, opting to rely on tons of hot pack while he patiently waited in front of Kyungsoo’s door. Sometimes he would talk to Kyungsoo, assuming that his boyfriend was leaning on the other side of the door. He would talk about anything and everything except for what really happened that day.
Jongin has also confronted Sulli about what happened.
The girl kept on apologizing to him and Yixing, stating how much she had a crush on Jongin ever since she was a freshman at Hongik University. When Yixing invited her to their dance practice, Sulli immediately thought of it as an opportunity to get to know him better. Sulli even blamed Jongin for giving her hints that he ‘likes’ him, that’s why she kissed him. Sulli had no inkling that Jongin is gay…or does he have a boyfriend in the form of Do Kyungsoo, which is obviously a lie seeing that Jongin could always be seen being sickeningly sweet with Kyungsoo almost every time and everywhere.
Jongin ended up shaking his head and sighing at the mad Sulli who left him alone at the back of the university main building.
The ringing of his phone disrupts Jongin from his thoughts.
‘Byun Baekhyun calling.’
He adjusts his seat on the cold tiled floor and answers his phone.
“Hey Baek…” His relationship with Baekhyun has never been the same. Baekhyun left his job at the convenience store the day after the incident occurred. The owner was confused, but he was never the type to question about the decisions of his employees.
“Coral Café in 30 minutes or I won’t ever listen to your explanation.”
-----
The Shift Bookstore is the safest refugee for Kyungsoo’s fragile heart, Kyungsoo muses. Nothing has changed even though he hasn’t visited in weeks. The smell of books still lingers throughout the quaint bookstore while classical music plays in the background. There aren’t a lot of people, just a few students and adults roaming around the area, checking out the new releases.
Kyungsoo likes this familiarity. He misses this.
This familiarity he protected after Yifan left and before Jongin arrived.
Why did he ever think leaving this kind of familiarity is a good decision? Look at where it brought him. He heaves a sigh and returns the book he’s holding on the table.
“Well, somebody’s in deep thought…”
Luhan’s smile is one of those intoxicating smiles that just literally melts people into a pile of goo. Kyungsoo offers a tired smile in return.
Last time Kyungsoo met Luhan he introduced Jongin to the couple as his boyfriend. The two shared a quick glance with each other, something that Kyungsoo immediately picked up on. He made a face at the two which made the couple just giggle. They were so happy back then, but now he doesn’t even know what he feels anymore.
“Hey…” Kyungsoo greets him. Luhan displays the new book releases on the glass window before looking back at Kyungsoo and inviting him to have coffee at the coffee shop they met before.
“What about Minseok?”
“I’m sure he can handle a few hours without me.” Luhan assures Kyungsoo. He grabs the younger’s hand and quickly drags him out of the bookstore. For someone old, Luhan can definitely run faster than Kyungsoo. There’s a grin on his face as he bids farewell to his husband along with the lines of ‘kidnapping our poor, sad son!’ and ‘make sure to drink your meds!”. Kyungsoo is a bit confused with what’s happening. Have Luhan and Minseok always considered him as their son? And why is he allowing this to happen? He was sure he wanted to go to Shift Bookstore to get a book a minute ago, not to be dragged everywhere by Luhan.
The chilling weather of Hongdae bites Kyungsoo in the skin. Despite the layers and layers of clothes, Kyungsoo still feels the icy cold winter while running with Luhan to the coffee shop they first met. Memories of the first time they met dances in Kyungsoo’s brain as Luhan forces him to enter the heated coffee shop.
The aroma of coffee is invigorating. Kyungsoo sits at one of the seats by the window while Luhan hops to the counter to buy their coffee. Kyungsoo honestly thinks Luhan is just pitying him because why not? Two guys already cheated on him on purpose like he’s some rag doll that’s supposed to be thrown once not useful anymore. He still can’t believe Jongin would do that to him even after knowing his history with Yifan.
The scenario is still fresh in Kyungsoo’s brain because it has been repeating in his brain like a broken record. The way that Sulli girl’s hands were on Jongin’s hips and the way Jongin didn’t relent on the situation, like it’s a perfectly normal occurrence. Even the way his heart constricted and the tears fell on his cheeks are still fresh on Kyungsoo’s brain. It was humiliating and heartbreaking - just like how he felt when he was with Yifan.
“You really need to stop spacing out, Soo.” Luhan gives him his favourite caramel machiatto. Kyungsoo grins at Luhan and sips the coffee. “Sorry.” Luhan sits on the empty seat before him and just chuckles.
“So tell me what’s wrong.”
“What do you mean?”
“Tell me what’s really wrong.” Luhan reiterates. “Yeah I get it, Jongin cheated you and you didn’t expect it, but the guy has been practically proclaiming his apology to the world every single day, so tell me what’s wrong?”
So Luhan brought him to this mini field trip only to be questioned on his relationship decisions? Kyungsoo’s just appalled that Luhan keeps on asking him what’s wrong. Isn’t it obvious what’s wrong? Jongin cheated on him! He can’t continue being with a guy who obviously cheated on him! He used him!
Kyungsoo’s eyebrows are furrowed by the time he answers Luhan’s question.
“Jongin cheated on me when I believed in him 100% that he was loyal to me. Do you even know how that feels? Being cheated?”
Kyungsoo scoffs. “Of course not. How could you, when you live in that stupid little fantasy with your Minseokkie.”
“You speak as if you envy our relationship way too much, Kyungsoo. It just so happens I trust Minseok a lot.”
“Are you implying something?”
“Have you ever listened to Jongin’s side of the story?” Luhan is calm when he talks to Kyungsoo no matter how furious Kyungsoo is. Luhan sips on his coffee before placing it back on the table. “Have you ever stopped and actually evaluate what you saw? That maybe you were just blinded by the fact that you’re just waiting for Jongin to actually mess up, so you can actually insert that sad scene you always imagine happening to you?”
“I know what I saw, Luhan. They were kissing when I got there.”
“That’s now what I heard. I think you need to heart the poor guy out before he actually gives up on you.”
“Why did you hear something when you’re not part of our relationship?” Why does Luhan know something that Kyungsoo doesn’t? He’s the one that was wronged here, but it seems like his friends have information about the problem that even he doesn’t. And why is Luhan siding with Jongin? Isn’t he supposed to side with Kyungsoo?
“Because I actually listen, Kyungsoo.”
And that’s it.
Kyungsoo knows he’s lost the battle already.
Maybe he does need to listen to whatever Jongin’s been wanting to tell him all this time.
-----
Kyungsoo apologizes to Luhan the moment they get back to Shift Bookstore.
Luhan only ruffles his ‘son’s’ hair and hugs him tightly. After all, he only just wants the best for Kyungsoo.
“Remember, Soo. Listen. You won’t lose anything if you listen.”
Kyungsoo lets out a deep sigh as he inserts his house keys on the door. Jongin is nowhere to be seen. The front of his door is empty. It’s almost dinner time when Luhan let go of Kyungsoo, making sure that the young man got the message that they only cared for him. Kyungsoo managed to buy a to-go sandwich from Subway for his dinner before the store closed for the day. He hasn’t eaten properly ever since the incident and eating a Subway is already a good signal for his health.
“Kai, I’m home.” Kyungsoo shouts to no one. He turns on the light only to see his home the way he left it that morning, except Kai is nowhere to be seen now. Kyungsoo looks throughout the room. Maybe Kai is just hiding somewhere…except he’s not under the bed or is he inside the bathroom. Kyungsoo looked behind every furniture, but Kai is still nowhere to be seen. Panic is fast claiming Kyungsoo’s brain with each passing second he’s not with Kai. Where could his cat be? He looks everywhere and sees it.
The window of his bedroom is slightly open, but big enough for the cat to get out.
How stupid of him.
Kai could be shivering by now. Hell, he could be suffering from hypothermia right now. The weather has been crazy lately, but most especially during the night. The news announced the temperature for the night is as low as -5 degrees Celsius. Kyungsoo hopes Kai is alright.
He dashes out of his room before he could even think of a decent plan to find Kai.
“Kai! Kai!” Kyungsoo randomly shouts in the street. People are looking at him weirdly, but he ignores them. He needs to find his cat now. “Kai, where are you?!” Judging by how cold his room is when he got there, it hasn’t been that long since his cat left the room.
Kyungsoo looks through everywhere - the trash cans, the ahjumma stalls, even in his neighbors’ houses, but he still can’t see Kai. He shouts and shouts and pleads to people who might have seen his cat, but there are still no signs of Kai.
First, Jongin cheated on him. And now, Kai leaves him. Kyungsoo feels like crying, but now is not the right time to cry. He needs to save his cat from the cold or else he’ll feel guilty and sad for the rest of his life.
Kyungsoo enters the nearest GS25 to buy a hot pack and to show a photo of Kai. The heat inside the store is a huge difference from the blistering cold outside. Kyungsoo breathes through his palm as he walks around the store to buy a hot pack. He’ll need all the heat he could get if he’s going to spend the night searching for Kai. Kyungsoo sees the gondola filled with hot pack when he sees a familiar duo.
Jongin is in front of him, cradling a pretty much comfortable Kai in his arms, as Jongin places a hot pack on Kai’s belly. The cat practically mewls and makes himself more comfortable in Jongin’s arms with that. Kyungsoo is torn in between two feelings - he’s relieved that Kai is in good arms, but then those arms are Jongin’s arms. The cheater’s arms.
“You like that, huh?” Jongin talks to Kai. “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you till your appa goes home.” Jongin pets Kai like there’s no tomorrow and Kyungsoo would have find it adorable if he wasn’t so mad at Jongin.
(Okay maybe, it does have some effect on Kyungsoo. Just a little.)
“Hey…” is Kyungsoo’s weak greeting when he finally musters the courage to greet his boyfriend. Jongin is visibly flustered when he sees Kyungsoo, almost dropping the cat in the process. Kai howls, claws deep within Jongin’s sweater and Jongin hisses because he thinks his stomach has been injured, but never drops the cat on the floor.
Is Kyungsoo really talking to him? Maybe he should pinch his cheeks because is this really Kyungsoo talking to him? His Kyungsoo?
“I see Kai is very fond of you…” There is tiredness in Kyungsoo’s voice as he sits next to Jongin and pets his cat on his boyfriend’s lap.
“Well he has always been fond of me…” The cat purrs at all the attention he’s getting. “I think you left your window open this afternoon. Saw him shivering in the corridor so I took care of him. Hope you don’t mind…” Jongin’s heart is erratic. It has been so long since he last talked to Kyungsoo, he almost forgot how it felt like being with Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo’s deep voice still gives him the feels. Even the way Kyungsoo tinkers with the hem of his sweater is familiar to Jongin. He’s tempted to grab Kyungsoo’s hand and kiss it, but then does he even have a right to?
“Yeah, he has…”
They’re silent for a few minutes. The only sound that could be heard is the pop music booming in the speakers of GS25 and the loud snoring of the service crew. Jongin has never imagined to finally talk to Kyungsoo here, of all places. He heard Kai mewling in the corner of the corridor when he got to Kyungsoo’s dorm. The cat was clearly scared and cold when Jongin got there. Kyungsoo must have forgotten to close his windows, Jongin mused. He took care of the cat, despite the scratches he got and fed him warm milk. Kai immediately eased on him.
Kai has always liked Jongin anyway.
“So…how have you been?”
“Huh?” Is Kyungsoo really initiating conversation with him. “I’m okay, I guess…” Jongin bobs his head from side to side. “I mean I’m not okay…I miss my boyfriend.”
“Why? Did he go somewhere?”
“Not really, but we’re in a fight so we haven’t been talking lately…”
“Well, that just blows.” Kyungsoo pouts, shifting his position on the chair. “Why did you fight?”
“Well…a girl attacked me one afternoon and Kyungsoo- I mean my boyfriend thought I was kissing her.”
“Why didn’t you stop her?”
“Well she was all over my face before I could even breathe, then you- I mean my boyfriend caught me in a really uncompromising situation.” Jongin is staring at Kyungsoo by now, making sure he really got the message. “I’ve been trying to explain to him, but it seems like he doesn’t want my explanation.”
Kyungsoo’s cheeks are hot. So it’s true what Luhan said that Jongin didn’t really mean for it to happen, that Jongin didn’t even want it to happen in the first place. How could he have so little faith with Jongin when the latter had so much faith in him? Sighing, Kyungsoo buries his face on his hands. How could he be so stupid....
“I’m so sorry, Jongin…” Kyungsoo mutters, face still buried in his hands. “I should have trusted you…” His ears and cheeks are as red as tomatoes. “I’ll get it if you don’t want to be with me anymore. I mean…who would want to be with a stubborn untrusting person like me?”
Can the ground just swallow Kyungsoo as a whole? The humiliation!
He feels a familiar warmth on his fingers, one by one the warmth passes through one finger to another till his hand is in Jongin’s. Jongin’s so close to him by now, face inches away from each other. There’s a grin on his boyfriend’s face as Jongin lands a chaste kiss on his lips.
“I’d love to be with you forever, you stubborn untrusting person you.”
Jongin’s pulls Kyungsoo towards him and wraps his legs around Kyungsoo’s lower body, completely locking him in place. His hands are on Kyungsoo’s cheeks as he lands another kiss on his boyfriend’s lips.
Kyungsoo thinks this is nice. Extremely nice even.
Kyungsoo hugs Jongin for a long time, just taking in the situation that they’re currently in. Jongin’s familiar scent is still intoxicating, and his built is still as perfect as Kyungsoo remembered.
Everything is finally back to normal.
--------------------
“This is one of the most satisfying movies I’ve ever seen.”
Jongin grunts as he gets out of the blanket, chiselled chest glistening with sweat as the sun greets the couple from the full length window in Kyungsoo’s room. It’s 9 in the morning and Kyungsoo’s room is quiet except for the background music of the rolling credits and his own boyfriend’s heavy breathing. Their hairs are a mess and their body glistening with sweat as they stare at each other, grinning mischievously at what they did.
“You said the same with the movie we watched last night…” Kyungsoo whispers as he lays himself beneath the safety of Jongin’s arms.
“Every movie with you is the best, Kyungsoo.” Jongin kisses Kyungsoo in the neck, making the latter giggle with delight. Jongin adjusts his position and embraces his boyfriend.
They have been together for two years now and things are getting better. Sure, there are ups and downs, but that’s how relationships are. It’s a continuous learning and growing together between two loving people.
“Do you want to watch another movie?”
“We can even do a marathon if that’s what you want.”
THE END
Do Kyungsoo: ??
Kim Jongin: I'm not a photographer, but I can picture me and you together.
Do Kyungsoo: What.
Kim Jongin: Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material.
Do Kyungsoo: Jong, are you drunk?
Kim Jongin: I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated by you.
Do Kyungsoo: Okay mister, where are you? I’ll come pick you up.
Kim Jongin: If you were a booger I'd pick you first.
Do Kyungsoo: Okay I’ll let that one go and consider it as a compliment. Now give the phone to Baekhyun so I know where to pick you up.
A drunk Jongin answers the phone the moment Kyungsoo’s call enters.
“Kyu-Kyu-Kyungsoo…I - hic - weally weally….- hic - like you.” Jongin says in between hiccups. Loud club music plays in the background and Kyungsoo has to put extra effort into deciphering what Jongin is murmuring. “Soo…do you-hic- wike me?”
At this rate, Kyungsoo is far too worried over Jongin to even feel giddy over what the younger is confessing to him.
“Jongin, you’re drunk. Are you with Baek? Give the phone to him.”
“You - hic, don’t want to - hic - talk to me?”
Kyungsoo could almost imagine Jongin pouting in the scene. “Baekhyun, I hate you! Kyungsoo likes you more than he likes me.”
There’s a brief sniffle and a rustling of clothes till Kyungsoo hears Baekhyun’s voice.
“Yoooo Kyungsoo, whaddup?”
“Whaddup yourself. What did you do to Jongin and where are you?”
“Aww the momma hen is angry…”
Baekhyun even has the balls to tease Kyungsoo when he’s this worried already. How brave.
“You wouldn’t want me angry, Baek. Now tell me where you are or I’m going to burn all your beloved clothes and leak all the nude photos you took on my phone.”
Who in their right mind would even use another’s phone to take nude selcas?
“Club Java, from the apartment you turn right then turn left then take the stairs, it’s in the basement.”
Gone is the playful Baekyun and is now replaced by a scared Baekhyun.
“You better fix him. I expect to just pick him up the moment I get there.”
“Yes, sir.”
Jongin wakes up in a pool full of shame and despair the next day.
-----
The weather is cold and the night oh so bright when Jongin decides to take Kyungsoo to the park to unwind. There aren’t a lot of people in the park, choosing to stay indoors, sipping hot tea while catching up with friends instead of looking at the beautiful stars up in the sky. Jongin and Kyungsoo are both wearing black wool turtle necks with black pants and shoes; a pure coincidence, considering that they haven’t talked about their attire for the day.
Kyungsoo blushes when Jongin hands him his coffee. Jongin looks different today; he’s composed and calm instead of his usual perky self. Jongin’s headphone dangle on his neck and a small paper bag filled with food is on his left hand. Kyungsoo, on the other hand, is jittery over the whole thing.
Tonight feels different than the usual dates they have.
Tonight feels like something’s about to happen.
“You want to sit there?” Jongin points to a bench near the fountain, one where the stars could easily be seen. Kyungsoo nods and races Jongin to it. He’s not normally playful, but the atmosphere is suffocating him so much he feels that something bad is about to happen any minute. Jongin merely smiles as he follows suit. The smile on Kyungsoo’s face evaporates the closer Jongin is.
Jongin’s leaving him, huh? This is goodbye. Their final moment together then Jongin’s finally giving up on him.
Just like what Yifan did.
“The stars look great today, don’t you think?” Jongin starts the conversation. The view from the bench is exceptional as they both stare upwards, body slumped on the bench in an uncomfortable manner. Kyungsoo thinks the stars don’t look as great as Jongin’s eyes whenever he looks at him.
“I suppose so…” Kyungsoo mutters.
“You okay?” There is worry in Jongin’s voice as he glances at Kyungsoo’s direction. Kyungsoo looks serious. His lips are pursed into a thin line while he stares at the stars above and he absent-mindedly sips his coffee. Jongin removes his jacket and drapes it on Kyungsoo’s thin body.
“But you’ll get cold...” Kyungsoo protests, but Jongin is adamant on giving his jacket to Kyungsoo. “Nah, it’s not even that cold.”
Sure, 20 degrees Celsius isn’t that cold.
Jongin fishes his phone out of his jeans pocket and starts playing his favourite Angela Aki song - This Love. Kyungsoo is confused. Jongin is even providing background music for their “break-up” even though they’re not really together. The kid probably rehearsed the scenario in his head for countless of time. He led Kyungsoo on.
“Soo, I have something to tell you…” Jongin starts.
Kyungsoo’s going to be dumped by a guy who’s not even his boyfriend.
“We’ve been doing this whole dating thing for a while now…”
Jongin’s giving up on him. Natural reaction, especially since Kyungsoo’s not even giving him the official ‘yes’ that he wants.
“And I mean, I would like to, you know, know if we can…”
“Stop this? It’s up to you Jongin.”
The sadness in Kyungsoo’s voice is reciprocated by the shocked expression on Jongin’s face. Jongin’s eyebrows are furrowed as he looks questioningly at Kyungsoo. Where did the stopping come from?
“What? Kyungsoo, have you’ve been leading me on all this time?”
“You’re the one who’s leading me on! You’re just like Yifan, aren’t you? You give me these….these feelings! And then leave me when you’re done playing with me!” Kyungsoo’s furious by now. Jongin’s jacket is now on the bench as Kyungsoo stands in front of Jongin, eyes watery due to supressed tears.
“Wait Soo, you have feelings for me?”
Kyungsoo wants to be mad at the mockery in Jongin’s voice, but he feels useless and stupid. He should have listened to his gut feelings and protected his wall against Jongin. Now look at him? Jongin is done playing with him, so now the guy is going to pretend he’s sorry and things just aren’t working when really he’s just bored with Kyungsoo already. Kyungsoo stares one last time at Jongin before shaking his head and walking away, but then a hand stops him. Jongin pulls Kyungsoo back and into a tight embrace.
“Soo, Soo you got it wrong. I’m not playing with you!” Kyungsoo struggles to get out of the embrace, but Jongin only pulls him closer. “I like you! I mean, I really really reaaaally like you, Kyungsoo.” Jongin nuzzles his face on Kyungsoo’s neck, breathing him in - the want to make him feel wanted so strong. “Why do you think I’m playing with you? I wouldn’t have spent all those months shamelessly clinging to you like a desperate leech if I don’t like you….”
“But you looked so serious…” Kyungsoo finally breaks out into tears. Jongin’s embrace tightens with every sniff of Kyungsoo. “I thought you were going to leave me because I still haven’t given you your ‘yes’…” An exasperated sigh leaves Jongin’s mouth. Why does Kyungsoo always think the worst when it comes to him?
“So does this mean a yes?” Jongin wipes the traces of tears on Kyungsoo’s cheeks with his fingers, an apologetic smile on his face as he stares at the face of his The One.
“Depends…you haven’t asked me yet.”
“Would you like to go out with me?” Jongin holds both of Kyungsoo’s hands.
“Definitely.”
Kyungsoo squeezes his boyfriend’s hands and lands a chaste kiss on his lips.
-----
Everything’s the same and different.
Even after months of being together, Jongin is still as loving to his boyfriend as he was before. But there are minor changes like Kyungsoo being more expressive of his feelings toward Jongin and Kyungsoo doing sweet things for Jongin every now and then.
Jongin thinks its cute how his boyfriend has changed when they became official. He now has a key to Kyungsoo’s flat and Kyungsoo has a key to his. Kyungsoo dotes on Jongin as much as he dotes on Kyungsoo. There are times when Kyungsoo would surprise him with small things like chocolates and coffee or even help him with his essays (just the grammar part because let’s be real Engineering is a really tough course if Math hates you.) Same goes, Jongin continues to make Kyungsoo swoon head over heels with his simple words and actions.
It goes like this for a couple of months until Jongin decides to enter the dancing competition with Yixing.
“The competition is in two weeks, Kyungsoo.” Jongin explains one night, while they’re eating ramen at Ippudo. The ramen place isn’t as crowded as it usually is and Chanyeol sits them in their usual table, the table they sat on when they ate there together for the first time. Kyungsoo wipes his lips with a napkin. Yes, he gets it. The competition is in two weeks. His boyfriend is going to be busy. That’s perfectly okay. He’s a supportive boyfriend. He’s got this.
“Yes, you’ve told me a few hours ago.” The spicy broth of his Karaka-men is nothing short of delicious and he slurps it down like water. Haemorrhoids be damned. “I’ll support you, Jong. Isn’t dancing the one thing your most passionate about? Go and fulfill it.”
Kyungsoo drops the spoon and chopsticks on the table and squeezes his boyfriend’s hands. Jongin offers a thankful smile to his boyfriend as he squeezes Kyungsoo’s hands back. Dancing has always been his ultimate passion (apart from loving Kyungsoo that is) and to be given this once in a lifetime chance to compete in a national dancing competition is just surreal.
“I will be really busy…” Jongin gulps down his water and wipes his lips with a napkin before really looking at Kyungsoo. He needs to know if it’s really okay with Kyungsoo. Ever since that faithful day they met, he’s never spent a day without Kyungsoo. He may not spend the entire day with Kyungsoo, but one way or another he finds time for him even if its 5 minutes spent in front of his boyfriend’s flat just to give him his favourite coffee or an hour-long study session in the library.
“It’s fine, Jong. I understand you.” Kyungsoo grins at Jongin. “This competition is important for you.”
It’s just a few days of practice. It’s not like Jongin’s leaving for the military anyway.
The look of happiness in Jongin’s face is more than enough sign for Kyungsoo to know that Jongin is thankful for the support. Jongin suddenly stands up and pulls Kyungsoo to his embrace, uncaring of the judging eyes around them. Kyungsoo yelps and dictates Jongin to put him down, but Jongin only laughs at his boyfriend.
“Best boyfriend ever.” He mutters as he nuzzles Kyungsoo’s neck. His hold on Kyungsoo doesn’t ease out despite dropping him to the ground. Kyungsoo could feel the warmth seep out of Jongin’s hands, his boyfriend’s breath tickling his neck.
One of the best part of being in an official relationship with Jongin is the PDA, Kyungsoo thinks.
“Okay loverbirds, cut it out and pay for your meal. That’s more than enough cheese for an entire country.” Chanyeol tiredly says, putting the used plates on a tray and wiping the table clean with a soaped cloth and water.
“You’re just jealous Baekhyun still hasn’t picked up on your moves on him.”
“Shush it, Jongin. You know nothing.”
Chanyeol’s sniffs could be heard throughout the kitchen that night.
-----
The first few days of Jongin’s practice is tolerable. The determination and passion lingers in every precise move as his shoes squeak against the wooden tiles of the dance studio. His sweat-drenched muscle shirt should definitely be changed, but he ignores the clinging sweat and continues to dance when Yixing plays the music again from the beginning. They’ve been at it for 2 straight hours now and nobody is showing any signs of stopping as both examine themselves in the full length mirror.
“You need to lift your arm higher”, Yixing demonstrates. “then jump before you crouch down on the floor.” Jongin stares at Yixing, memorizing every instruction, before nodding and doing the choreography himself.
Yixing claps him in the back when he finally gets the right movement. They continue to dance for a few more minutes before calling quits. Jongin falls down on the floor while Yixing grabs their water bottles from the corner of the room and throws Jongin his.
“Nice of Kyungsoo to support you.” Yixing casually says. Jongin just smiles despite the exhaustion.
“Yeah…” He mutters. Kyungsoo must be waiting for him. Jongin checks his phone and sees a couple of text messages from Sehun and Kyungsoo. Sehun’s usual ‘dude, I’m hungry’ text message is drowned by the series of texts from Kyungsoo.
Do Kyungsoo: Don’t overwork yourself!
Do Kyungsoo: You want to eat dinner later?
Do Kyungsoo: I miss you. ☹
Do Kyungsoo: Stuck with Baekhyun. Forcing him to talk about cockroaches with Chanyeol.
Why is it not abnormal to have cockroaches as conversation topic? Ah yes. Because its Baekhyun.
Jongin just can’t wait to meet Kyungsoo that night to hug him and possibly cuddle with him. But first, shower.
“Xing, I gotta go.”
-----
“Jongin, meet my classmate, Sulli.” Yixing introduces a slim, pale girl with big brown eyes and dark long hair to Jongin. A sweet smile decorates Sulli’s face as she offers her hand to Jongin. “She’ll be watching us from now on. She’s a dancer, ballet though, but still a dancer. I figured we’d need a third person to point the mistakes on our choreography.”
Jongin merely nods as he gauges Sulli with his eyes.
“Nice to meet you, Jongin.”
-----
“You need to lower yourself more.”
“Watch your expressions, it will make or break your performance more than precise movements.”
“Xing, put more effort into the twirl.”
Sulli turns out is as strict as an old, single lady. There’s a stern look on her face and her hands are on her hips as she scrutinizes every move of the duo. They have been repeating the whole choreography for the competition since morning and it’s already nearing lunch. Jongin’s energy is depleted and it’s obvious with how he’s struggling to get a breather despite the muscle pains. Yixing’s not any better - shamelessly lying on the floor with his sweat-drenched clothes, shouting all his pain out.
“Okay, I get it. Let’s take a break.” Sulli goes to the far corner of the dance studio where all their belongings are. She throws a water bottle to Yixing’s direction before walking towards Jongin who is now leaning on the mirrors.
“Thanks.”, Jongin mutters when Sulli gives him the water bottle. Sulli only smiles before crouching down on the floor next to him and suddenly wiping his sweat.
It’s too intimate. Way too intimate for comfort.
With wide eyes, Jongin slaps Sulli’s hands away before he could even stop himself. There is obvious hurt in Sulli’s eyes as the towel falls to the floor. “I’m-I’m sorry.” Jongin mutters before picking the towel and running to grab his bag.
“Gotta go Xing, Kyungsoo’s waiting for me!”
Jongin leaves the room feeling a little more confused than normal.
-----
“Competition’s tomorrow, huh?”
Jongin and Kyungsoo are having an early breakfast at the Breakfast House, towers of hot fluffy pancakes in front of them as soon as they finish catching up with each other’s lives. Jongin nods as he digs on his food before passing the syrup to Kyungsoo.
It has been a week since the incident with Sulli and a week since he last met Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo has been preoccupied with exams while Jongin has been swamped with day to day dance practices. To say that things didn’t go awkward between Jongin and Sulli would be an understatement. Sulli keeps on making a move on Jongin while the latter keeps on getting away from her as subtle as possible.
Although subtle is not in Jongin’s vocabulary as attention is not in Yixing’s.
Yixing doesn’t even have an inkling on what’s happening between Sulli and Jongin even if its already been a week, mind too focused on the objective at hand.
Jongin has yet to tell Kyungsoo about Sulli. It pains him to lie to Kyungsoo (because technically omission of the truth is considered a lie), but his friends warned him of the repercussions of actually telling his boyfriend about a girl who’s making a move on him.
“Dude, do you want to get killed?” Sehun’s furious when Jongin tells him his plans for the first time. “You know Kyungsoo has a bad history with third persons. Do you really want to ignite fire to the situation?”
Zitao pats Jongin in the back. “Sehunnie’s right, Jongin. You tell Kyungsoo about this Sulli girl, and you’ll end up cold and lonely once again.”
This is why Jongin finds it hard to even look Kyungsoo in the eye. Or even hold his hand when Kyungsoo attempts for skinship. He just can’t do it, especially when he’s conscience is constantly bugging him to do what he thinks is right.
“Are you still going to practice tonight?” Kyungsoo asks nonchalantly as he smothers the remaining pancakes on his plate with syrup and whip cream.
“Just in the afternoon. Yixing wants us to relax the night before, so we don’t panic tomorrow.”
“Oh okay then.” Kyungsoo carefully places his utensils at the right side of the plate and wipes his mouth with a napkin. “I was wondering if you’d like to spend tonight with me…I mean I rented a few movies…uhm…we could watch them if you want.”
Movies mean something.
Movies mean cuddling in the dark while sitting on Kyungsoo’s sofa.
Movies can even mean more than cuddling.
Jongin shudders just at the thought of movies.
“Sure.” Jongin grabs Kyungsoo’s hand and squeezes it, a sly grin written all over his face. “We can watch movies all night long if you want.”
It’s greasier than all of the burgers Kyungsoo ate last night.
He scrunches his face in feigned irritation and slaps Jongin in the hand.
Today is kicking off to a good start.
-----
Kyungsoo stares at all of the food he randomly bought at the nearby supermarket - a loaf of bread, lettuce, a tray of eggs, chicken and some spread. His hands are on his hips and his eyebrows are furrowed together. Why did he even think he could do this?
An incessant rubbing could be felt on Kyungsoo’s legs and he looks below only to see Kai purring, obviously demanding for food. The cat could definitely smell the food on the table. It’s the bad side of having a small flat - anything you open could be smelt all over the place.
“Later, Kai. I need to make food for Jongin.” He gets down to pet Kai before putting him inside his cage. He’s got some magic to do and he’s got to do it now or else he won’t make it in time to surprise his boyfriend at the dance studio.
The idea came to Kyungsoo when Baekhyun told him about Chanyeol’s surprise for him.
“Just imagine my shock when Chanyeol visited me with a tray full of food.” Baekhyun almost spits his food to Kyungsoo. Someone please remind Kyungsoo to give Baekhyun Table Manners 101 as a Christmas gift.
“I’m sure you were.” Kyungsoo’s voice is laced with nothing, but sarcasm as he gracefully eats his sandwich.
It’s a Friday afternoon and Kyungsoo finds himself being forced to spend time with Baekhyun instead of just staying in his dorm to prepare for the movies. He still can’t believe he initiated it this time. His cheeks redden without warning which makes Baekhyun ask “You okay, Soo?”. Kyungsoo nods so vigorously he ends up aching in the process.
“Anyway, Jongin’s competition is tomorrow, huh?” Baekhyun’s finally done eating his fair share of the food. “Any plans for him?”
Kyungsoo almost chokes, indecent thoughts zooming past his brains. Baekhyun passes him the water and taps his back till he feels alright.
“We’re going to watch a movie later.”
“That’s it?”
What does Baekhyun even know about dating?
“What do you mean that’s it? Am I supposed to do something?”
“You’re not even going to surprise your boyfriend?” Baekhyun gathers their trash and throws it at a nearby trash can. “Jongin must be really stressed now. He could do with a gift from you.”
“A gift, huh?” Kyungsoo contemplates. A gift for Jongin does sound nice. They haven’t been spending time with each other and Jongin doesn’t really show his stressed to Kyungsoo, opting to look carefree and confident most of the time.
Kyungsoo’s mind races with different ideas while Baekhyun proceeds to move to another topic
.
“Done!” Kyungsoo proudly shouts to no one. Below him, Kai yawns, raising his head, before going back to his sleeping position. Four pieces of chicken sandwiches so stuffed its ingredients can almost fall out are placed in a clean plate. Kyungsoo grins to himself because ha! He’s a grown-up now! He can actually feed another person now!
The time is almost 5 in the afternoon and Kyungsoo needs to leave now if he still wants to catch Jongin at the studio. Yixing offered to stall for him if needed, but then knowing Yixing, the guy must have forgotten it by now. Kyungsoo places the sandwich in a Ziplock before putting them in a brown paper bag. He has 10 minutes to shower then leave or else he really won’t be able to catch Jongin at the dance studio.
Thoroughly delighted, Kyungsoo skips through his things to get decent clothes for their ‘movie’ date.
-----
The dance studio is located in the basement of a famous bakery in Hongdae.
Kyungsoo is practically freezing by the time he’s climbing down the stairs to the dance studio. The weather has been crazy lately, especially now that it’s dropped to a -1 degrees Celsius. He rubs his palms together and breathes on it through his thick wool gloves. Damn why does winter have to be so freaking cold?, Kyungsoo muses. Hopefully his chicken sandwich is still hot within the comforts of his backpack.
The door creaks when Kyungsoo touches it. There are no loud sounds, no heavy footsteps; it’s eerily silent except for Kyungsoo’s cheerful call for his boyfriend.
“Jongin-ah, I brought-“ Kyungsoo’s voice gets caught up in his throat. Jongin’s back is against the floor-length mirror, his hair tousled and his legs steady. His mouth is locked with another - a girl with big eyes and long luscious locks. Her hands are secured on Jongin’s hips while her head is twisted to the side.
Kyungsoo doesn’t know what to feel.
He’s rendered immobile from where he is, completely mute and dizzy from what he’s seeing in front of him. When did this started? Who is that woman? Why are they kissing? Did Jongin pull off a Yifan on him? Thousands of questions swirl on his mind to the point
that he doesn’t realize Yixing’s hand on his shoulders, greeting him enthusiastically, completely oblivious to what Kyungsoo is seeing.
“Hey Kyungsoo! Glad to see you here! Jongin is-“ Yixing’s eyes grow big when he sees Sulli smothering Jongin’s face. “What the fucking hell?” Yixing shouts, finally getting the two’s attention. Jongin is flustered the moment he sees his teary-eyed boyfriend by the door. Talk about wrong timing. The pained expression on Kyungsoo’s face tugs on Jongin’s heart and he immediately knows he’s screwed up so bad. Jongin pushes Sulli harshly, uncaring of how she fell on the floor, before he follows Kyungsoo who’s now running out of the studio and into the freezing streets of Hongdae.
Kyungsoo should have known better.
He should have seen it coming.
Why would someone as handsome as Jongin like him completely? Nobody ever will.
Hell, he doesn’t even like himself completely.
Kyungsoo stops running the moment he feels a familiar warmth on his skin. Instead of tingles, he feels pain with the warmth. He shakes his hand away and walks without looking back. “Kyungsoo, I can explain…” There is frustration in Jongin’s voice and Kyungsoo thinks he has no right to have that kind of voice. Cheaters don’t have the right to feel frustration and pain because they inflict so much more to the people they cheat on. Tears pool on his eyes and he forces himself not to blink and not to think and just be strong in front of Jongin. Jongin has no right to see him so weak…not after what he did to him.
“You don’t need to explain anything.” Kyungsoo tries his best to smile despite knowing how much his heart hurts. “I get it. You don’t like me anymore.” A sarcastic laugh escapes his mouth. “Wish you could have told me earlier though, instead of lying to me…” He’s too tired of this. Why did he even think he could actually love again?
“No Soo, you got it wrong. Sulli kissed me-“
“So Sulli’s the name, huh? A pretty name for a pretty girl.”
“Kyungsoo, I don’t like her.” Jongin is pleading now, hands grabbing Kyungsoo’s and squeezing them tightly as if doing that would make Kyungsoo believe him more. “I like you, Soo. I only like you and nobody else.” Kyungsoo can barely see Jongin’s scared face beyond his glassy eyes, but he could definitely feel the desperation in Jongin’s actions. But why? Why would Jongin do it, yet beg for his forgiveness now? Kyungsoo doesn’t get it.
He is too confused for this right now.
With a deep exhale, Kyungsoo carefully pushes Jongin off him and walks to God knows where. At the back of his mid, Kyungsoo wishes Jongin would continue to plead and struggle just to ensure Kyungsoo that he really likes him and there’s a valid explanation to what he did. Kyungsoo might forgive Jongin if he actually does beg for it. Maybe. But nothing came except for the cold and biting winter wind.
Later that evening, Baekhyun throws the uneaten chicken sandwiches in Kyungsoo’s bag.
-----
“Why the hell did you do that?!”
Baekhyun’s fist greets Jongin the moment he gets home after the dance competition.
Yixing and Jongin won despite the circumstances. Yixing glared at him and Sulli the moment he came close to them. Sulli shivered at the thought of an angry Yixing and fled almost instantly. Yixing might be forgetful and high most of the time, but he rarely gets angry to the point that people are scared to see how he’s angry.
Jongin’s the very first person who’s got a taste of Yixing’s wrath.
“Why did you do that?” Sure, Jongin is his friend, not Kyungsoo, but a wrong is still a wrong. “I thought you’re better than that, Jong.” Yixing is obviously disappointed with Jongin, but Jongin feels misunderstood especially when he’s at the losing end here. He did not kiss Sulli intentionally; the girl forced herself on him when she got the chance.
“She suddenly attacked me, Xing! What did you want me to do?”
“You could have stopped her!”
Their loud voices ring in the otherwise silent dance studio. Jongin feels like his heart is about to explode. Kyungsoo left him for a misunderstanding. And now he can’t go to where Kyungsoo is to explain himself because he needs to be at the arena in 30 minutes. It’s a choice between his priorities and responsibilities.
Jongin ended up going to the competition. Because it’s the responsible thing to do.
So now he’s being thrown to the ground by Baekhyun’s punch.
The rough surface of the pavement scratches Jongin’s face and it burns, but he really could care less. He guesses he deserves this kind of treatment. After all, he hurt Baekhyun’s little prince. He has no energy or right to fight back because he deserves this. Definitely.
There’s blood oozing on his skin when Baekhyun pulls him by the collar, vengeance obvious in his eyes. He has never seen Baekhyun so mad; the older opting for humor and happiness most of the time.
“I trusted you, Jong.” Disappointment and anger is etched on Baekhyun’s face as he takes a breather on top of Jongin. “I thought you’re good for him, but you’re actually worse than Yifan…” Jongin stares as Baekhyun purses his lips, eyes sad and hands tightening on his collar before the elder is shaking his head and getting up.
“I can explain, Baek.” Jongin tries to say, but Baekhyun is waving his hand at him already. “It’s already too late for your explanation. Just…get away from Kyungsoo from now on.”
Jongin has never thought that the sight of Baekhyun leaving would be so painful for him.
-----
Jongin has never been one to give up, especially when it comes to people he loves.
He has been trying to apologize to Kyungsoo ever since that fateful day Sulli attacked him.
He spent the first morning begging Kyungsoo for mercy, practically sprawled on the floor in front of Kyungsoo’s door. The floor was cold, but he could care less. He worried about losing Kyungsoo more than death due to hypothermia, but Kyungsoo never went out of his room.
When Kyungsoo finally did leave his room that night to eat, he never paid even just a single attention to Jongin, opting to look straight with a stoic face and with a determination of a military officer. Jongin would try to grab his legs, but Kyungsoo would only glare at him.
“Go home and eat, Jongin.” is the only tired response from Kyungsoo before he leaves Jongin alone in the empty and cold corridor.
The rest of the days were spent trying to get Kyungsoo’s attention.
In the morning before class, Jongin would leave food on Kyungsoo’s doorstep. There’s always a sticky note of “Sorry, but please listen to my explanation.” In hopes that Kyungsoo would at least even listen to him, if not forgive him. In between classes, Jongin would spend his free time trying to get back to Kyungsoo’s life, but Kyungsoo would either be too busy or hiding somewhere he doesn’t know. The nights were spent on the cold corridor of Kyungsoo’s dorm to the point that Jongin’s body had adjusted on the lack of heater in the corridor, opting to rely on tons of hot pack while he patiently waited in front of Kyungsoo’s door. Sometimes he would talk to Kyungsoo, assuming that his boyfriend was leaning on the other side of the door. He would talk about anything and everything except for what really happened that day.
Jongin has also confronted Sulli about what happened.
The girl kept on apologizing to him and Yixing, stating how much she had a crush on Jongin ever since she was a freshman at Hongik University. When Yixing invited her to their dance practice, Sulli immediately thought of it as an opportunity to get to know him better. Sulli even blamed Jongin for giving her hints that he ‘likes’ him, that’s why she kissed him. Sulli had no inkling that Jongin is gay…or does he have a boyfriend in the form of Do Kyungsoo, which is obviously a lie seeing that Jongin could always be seen being sickeningly sweet with Kyungsoo almost every time and everywhere.
Jongin ended up shaking his head and sighing at the mad Sulli who left him alone at the back of the university main building.
The ringing of his phone disrupts Jongin from his thoughts.
‘Byun Baekhyun calling.’
He adjusts his seat on the cold tiled floor and answers his phone.
“Hey Baek…” His relationship with Baekhyun has never been the same. Baekhyun left his job at the convenience store the day after the incident occurred. The owner was confused, but he was never the type to question about the decisions of his employees.
“Coral Café in 30 minutes or I won’t ever listen to your explanation.”
-----
The Shift Bookstore is the safest refugee for Kyungsoo’s fragile heart, Kyungsoo muses. Nothing has changed even though he hasn’t visited in weeks. The smell of books still lingers throughout the quaint bookstore while classical music plays in the background. There aren’t a lot of people, just a few students and adults roaming around the area, checking out the new releases.
Kyungsoo likes this familiarity. He misses this.
This familiarity he protected after Yifan left and before Jongin arrived.
Why did he ever think leaving this kind of familiarity is a good decision? Look at where it brought him. He heaves a sigh and returns the book he’s holding on the table.
“Well, somebody’s in deep thought…”
Luhan’s smile is one of those intoxicating smiles that just literally melts people into a pile of goo. Kyungsoo offers a tired smile in return.
Last time Kyungsoo met Luhan he introduced Jongin to the couple as his boyfriend. The two shared a quick glance with each other, something that Kyungsoo immediately picked up on. He made a face at the two which made the couple just giggle. They were so happy back then, but now he doesn’t even know what he feels anymore.
“Hey…” Kyungsoo greets him. Luhan displays the new book releases on the glass window before looking back at Kyungsoo and inviting him to have coffee at the coffee shop they met before.
“What about Minseok?”
“I’m sure he can handle a few hours without me.” Luhan assures Kyungsoo. He grabs the younger’s hand and quickly drags him out of the bookstore. For someone old, Luhan can definitely run faster than Kyungsoo. There’s a grin on his face as he bids farewell to his husband along with the lines of ‘kidnapping our poor, sad son!’ and ‘make sure to drink your meds!”. Kyungsoo is a bit confused with what’s happening. Have Luhan and Minseok always considered him as their son? And why is he allowing this to happen? He was sure he wanted to go to Shift Bookstore to get a book a minute ago, not to be dragged everywhere by Luhan.
The chilling weather of Hongdae bites Kyungsoo in the skin. Despite the layers and layers of clothes, Kyungsoo still feels the icy cold winter while running with Luhan to the coffee shop they first met. Memories of the first time they met dances in Kyungsoo’s brain as Luhan forces him to enter the heated coffee shop.
The aroma of coffee is invigorating. Kyungsoo sits at one of the seats by the window while Luhan hops to the counter to buy their coffee. Kyungsoo honestly thinks Luhan is just pitying him because why not? Two guys already cheated on him on purpose like he’s some rag doll that’s supposed to be thrown once not useful anymore. He still can’t believe Jongin would do that to him even after knowing his history with Yifan.
The scenario is still fresh in Kyungsoo’s brain because it has been repeating in his brain like a broken record. The way that Sulli girl’s hands were on Jongin’s hips and the way Jongin didn’t relent on the situation, like it’s a perfectly normal occurrence. Even the way his heart constricted and the tears fell on his cheeks are still fresh on Kyungsoo’s brain. It was humiliating and heartbreaking - just like how he felt when he was with Yifan.
“You really need to stop spacing out, Soo.” Luhan gives him his favourite caramel machiatto. Kyungsoo grins at Luhan and sips the coffee. “Sorry.” Luhan sits on the empty seat before him and just chuckles.
“So tell me what’s wrong.”
“What do you mean?”
“Tell me what’s really wrong.” Luhan reiterates. “Yeah I get it, Jongin cheated you and you didn’t expect it, but the guy has been practically proclaiming his apology to the world every single day, so tell me what’s wrong?”
So Luhan brought him to this mini field trip only to be questioned on his relationship decisions? Kyungsoo’s just appalled that Luhan keeps on asking him what’s wrong. Isn’t it obvious what’s wrong? Jongin cheated on him! He can’t continue being with a guy who obviously cheated on him! He used him!
Kyungsoo’s eyebrows are furrowed by the time he answers Luhan’s question.
“Jongin cheated on me when I believed in him 100% that he was loyal to me. Do you even know how that feels? Being cheated?”
Kyungsoo scoffs. “Of course not. How could you, when you live in that stupid little fantasy with your Minseokkie.”
“You speak as if you envy our relationship way too much, Kyungsoo. It just so happens I trust Minseok a lot.”
“Are you implying something?”
“Have you ever listened to Jongin’s side of the story?” Luhan is calm when he talks to Kyungsoo no matter how furious Kyungsoo is. Luhan sips on his coffee before placing it back on the table. “Have you ever stopped and actually evaluate what you saw? That maybe you were just blinded by the fact that you’re just waiting for Jongin to actually mess up, so you can actually insert that sad scene you always imagine happening to you?”
“I know what I saw, Luhan. They were kissing when I got there.”
“That’s now what I heard. I think you need to heart the poor guy out before he actually gives up on you.”
“Why did you hear something when you’re not part of our relationship?” Why does Luhan know something that Kyungsoo doesn’t? He’s the one that was wronged here, but it seems like his friends have information about the problem that even he doesn’t. And why is Luhan siding with Jongin? Isn’t he supposed to side with Kyungsoo?
“Because I actually listen, Kyungsoo.”
And that’s it.
Kyungsoo knows he’s lost the battle already.
Maybe he does need to listen to whatever Jongin’s been wanting to tell him all this time.
-----
Kyungsoo apologizes to Luhan the moment they get back to Shift Bookstore.
Luhan only ruffles his ‘son’s’ hair and hugs him tightly. After all, he only just wants the best for Kyungsoo.
“Remember, Soo. Listen. You won’t lose anything if you listen.”
Kyungsoo lets out a deep sigh as he inserts his house keys on the door. Jongin is nowhere to be seen. The front of his door is empty. It’s almost dinner time when Luhan let go of Kyungsoo, making sure that the young man got the message that they only cared for him. Kyungsoo managed to buy a to-go sandwich from Subway for his dinner before the store closed for the day. He hasn’t eaten properly ever since the incident and eating a Subway is already a good signal for his health.
“Kai, I’m home.” Kyungsoo shouts to no one. He turns on the light only to see his home the way he left it that morning, except Kai is nowhere to be seen now. Kyungsoo looks throughout the room. Maybe Kai is just hiding somewhere…except he’s not under the bed or is he inside the bathroom. Kyungsoo looked behind every furniture, but Kai is still nowhere to be seen. Panic is fast claiming Kyungsoo’s brain with each passing second he’s not with Kai. Where could his cat be? He looks everywhere and sees it.
The window of his bedroom is slightly open, but big enough for the cat to get out.
How stupid of him.
Kai could be shivering by now. Hell, he could be suffering from hypothermia right now. The weather has been crazy lately, but most especially during the night. The news announced the temperature for the night is as low as -5 degrees Celsius. Kyungsoo hopes Kai is alright.
He dashes out of his room before he could even think of a decent plan to find Kai.
“Kai! Kai!” Kyungsoo randomly shouts in the street. People are looking at him weirdly, but he ignores them. He needs to find his cat now. “Kai, where are you?!” Judging by how cold his room is when he got there, it hasn’t been that long since his cat left the room.
Kyungsoo looks through everywhere - the trash cans, the ahjumma stalls, even in his neighbors’ houses, but he still can’t see Kai. He shouts and shouts and pleads to people who might have seen his cat, but there are still no signs of Kai.
First, Jongin cheated on him. And now, Kai leaves him. Kyungsoo feels like crying, but now is not the right time to cry. He needs to save his cat from the cold or else he’ll feel guilty and sad for the rest of his life.
Kyungsoo enters the nearest GS25 to buy a hot pack and to show a photo of Kai. The heat inside the store is a huge difference from the blistering cold outside. Kyungsoo breathes through his palm as he walks around the store to buy a hot pack. He’ll need all the heat he could get if he’s going to spend the night searching for Kai. Kyungsoo sees the gondola filled with hot pack when he sees a familiar duo.
Jongin is in front of him, cradling a pretty much comfortable Kai in his arms, as Jongin places a hot pack on Kai’s belly. The cat practically mewls and makes himself more comfortable in Jongin’s arms with that. Kyungsoo is torn in between two feelings - he’s relieved that Kai is in good arms, but then those arms are Jongin’s arms. The cheater’s arms.
“You like that, huh?” Jongin talks to Kai. “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you till your appa goes home.” Jongin pets Kai like there’s no tomorrow and Kyungsoo would have find it adorable if he wasn’t so mad at Jongin.
(Okay maybe, it does have some effect on Kyungsoo. Just a little.)
“Hey…” is Kyungsoo’s weak greeting when he finally musters the courage to greet his boyfriend. Jongin is visibly flustered when he sees Kyungsoo, almost dropping the cat in the process. Kai howls, claws deep within Jongin’s sweater and Jongin hisses because he thinks his stomach has been injured, but never drops the cat on the floor.
Is Kyungsoo really talking to him? Maybe he should pinch his cheeks because is this really Kyungsoo talking to him? His Kyungsoo?
“I see Kai is very fond of you…” There is tiredness in Kyungsoo’s voice as he sits next to Jongin and pets his cat on his boyfriend’s lap.
“Well he has always been fond of me…” The cat purrs at all the attention he’s getting. “I think you left your window open this afternoon. Saw him shivering in the corridor so I took care of him. Hope you don’t mind…” Jongin’s heart is erratic. It has been so long since he last talked to Kyungsoo, he almost forgot how it felt like being with Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo’s deep voice still gives him the feels. Even the way Kyungsoo tinkers with the hem of his sweater is familiar to Jongin. He’s tempted to grab Kyungsoo’s hand and kiss it, but then does he even have a right to?
“Yeah, he has…”
They’re silent for a few minutes. The only sound that could be heard is the pop music booming in the speakers of GS25 and the loud snoring of the service crew. Jongin has never imagined to finally talk to Kyungsoo here, of all places. He heard Kai mewling in the corner of the corridor when he got to Kyungsoo’s dorm. The cat was clearly scared and cold when Jongin got there. Kyungsoo must have forgotten to close his windows, Jongin mused. He took care of the cat, despite the scratches he got and fed him warm milk. Kai immediately eased on him.
Kai has always liked Jongin anyway.
“So…how have you been?”
“Huh?” Is Kyungsoo really initiating conversation with him. “I’m okay, I guess…” Jongin bobs his head from side to side. “I mean I’m not okay…I miss my boyfriend.”
“Why? Did he go somewhere?”
“Not really, but we’re in a fight so we haven’t been talking lately…”
“Well, that just blows.” Kyungsoo pouts, shifting his position on the chair. “Why did you fight?”
“Well…a girl attacked me one afternoon and Kyungsoo- I mean my boyfriend thought I was kissing her.”
“Why didn’t you stop her?”
“Well she was all over my face before I could even breathe, then you- I mean my boyfriend caught me in a really uncompromising situation.” Jongin is staring at Kyungsoo by now, making sure he really got the message. “I’ve been trying to explain to him, but it seems like he doesn’t want my explanation.”
Kyungsoo’s cheeks are hot. So it’s true what Luhan said that Jongin didn’t really mean for it to happen, that Jongin didn’t even want it to happen in the first place. How could he have so little faith with Jongin when the latter had so much faith in him? Sighing, Kyungsoo buries his face on his hands. How could he be so stupid....
“I’m so sorry, Jongin…” Kyungsoo mutters, face still buried in his hands. “I should have trusted you…” His ears and cheeks are as red as tomatoes. “I’ll get it if you don’t want to be with me anymore. I mean…who would want to be with a stubborn untrusting person like me?”
Can the ground just swallow Kyungsoo as a whole? The humiliation!
He feels a familiar warmth on his fingers, one by one the warmth passes through one finger to another till his hand is in Jongin’s. Jongin’s so close to him by now, face inches away from each other. There’s a grin on his boyfriend’s face as Jongin lands a chaste kiss on his lips.
“I’d love to be with you forever, you stubborn untrusting person you.”
Jongin’s pulls Kyungsoo towards him and wraps his legs around Kyungsoo’s lower body, completely locking him in place. His hands are on Kyungsoo’s cheeks as he lands another kiss on his boyfriend’s lips.
Kyungsoo thinks this is nice. Extremely nice even.
Kyungsoo hugs Jongin for a long time, just taking in the situation that they’re currently in. Jongin’s familiar scent is still intoxicating, and his built is still as perfect as Kyungsoo remembered.
Everything is finally back to normal.
--------------------
“This is one of the most satisfying movies I’ve ever seen.”
Jongin grunts as he gets out of the blanket, chiselled chest glistening with sweat as the sun greets the couple from the full length window in Kyungsoo’s room. It’s 9 in the morning and Kyungsoo’s room is quiet except for the background music of the rolling credits and his own boyfriend’s heavy breathing. Their hairs are a mess and their body glistening with sweat as they stare at each other, grinning mischievously at what they did.
“You said the same with the movie we watched last night…” Kyungsoo whispers as he lays himself beneath the safety of Jongin’s arms.
“Every movie with you is the best, Kyungsoo.” Jongin kisses Kyungsoo in the neck, making the latter giggle with delight. Jongin adjusts his position and embraces his boyfriend.
They have been together for two years now and things are getting better. Sure, there are ups and downs, but that’s how relationships are. It’s a continuous learning and growing together between two loving people.
“Do you want to watch another movie?”
“We can even do a marathon if that’s what you want.”
THE END