AND NOW MY NECK IS COLD
Okay, so, I got a haircut. And for the first time since my kindergarten bowl-cut, I HATE IT. IT IS TOO SHORT. IT IS TOO NEAT. AND NOW MY NECK IS FUCKING COLD.
I can feel the water dripping out of my hair onto the back of my neck when I shower. I look five years older. I DON'T WANT TO LOOK OLDER THAN I AM.
Everyone keeps saying it's so "neat" and "sophisticated". Well, guess what? I don't like to look neat OR sophisticated. I like to look my fucking age. I like to have cute haircuts, or punk rock haircuts. I like people to underestimate me, because it gives me the opportunity to shock them when they realize I can think. It also lets me decide if I even want to bother with them.
I LIKE to fucking wear hoodies and jeans and not look like my aunt dressing down on the weekend. I like to look like I'm 22. 'Cause I am. I LIKE IT. The only good parts are the bangs (which I had to fucking ask for) and that the hair is so short it shows off my million earrings to everyone. Honestly, I had no fucking clue how much of my identity was tied up in those 4 inches of hair until I did away with them. I MISS THEM.
I'm going back today to see if he can fuck it up some. Make it look less neat and sophisticated. God, I'm never using those words again. I almost cried when I got home, which, honestly, I lost some self-respect for. It's just hair, for fuck's sake, but it's MY FUCKING HAIR, AND GODDAMMIT, I WANT TO LOOK LIKE ME AGAIN.
I can feel the water dripping out of my hair onto the back of my neck when I shower. I look five years older. I DON'T WANT TO LOOK OLDER THAN I AM.
Everyone keeps saying it's so "neat" and "sophisticated". Well, guess what? I don't like to look neat OR sophisticated. I like to look my fucking age. I like to have cute haircuts, or punk rock haircuts. I like people to underestimate me, because it gives me the opportunity to shock them when they realize I can think. It also lets me decide if I even want to bother with them.
I LIKE to fucking wear hoodies and jeans and not look like my aunt dressing down on the weekend. I like to look like I'm 22. 'Cause I am. I LIKE IT. The only good parts are the bangs (which I had to fucking ask for) and that the hair is so short it shows off my million earrings to everyone. Honestly, I had no fucking clue how much of my identity was tied up in those 4 inches of hair until I did away with them. I MISS THEM.
I'm going back today to see if he can fuck it up some. Make it look less neat and sophisticated. God, I'm never using those words again. I almost cried when I got home, which, honestly, I lost some self-respect for. It's just hair, for fuck's sake, but it's MY FUCKING HAIR, AND GODDAMMIT, I WANT TO LOOK LIKE ME AGAIN.