(no subject)

[forster_katie42]

I don’t know what the hell im going to do. I don’t know whats wrong with me, but there must be something, and I can assure you, there is. Why do I always find myself in the wrong place at the wrong time? Well I was there today. I made the mistake of going to the mall, and running into Kevin, Chris, and Mike. It was okay, for awhile, then we ran into Eric, and later, Perri. Eric was getting pissed off because me Kevin and mike were upset about something that had nothing to do with him. Then Perri was upset about something I said to her or something. Today was guys day out, and I ‘coincidently’ bumped into them and ruined it. Eric was complaining about how we always ruin everything for him when we hang out or something, and I could tell he didn’t want me there. So at 630 when Kevin’s mom was going to pick us up, we had made plans to hang out at chris’s house, and I was going to stay as late as I could. Then at the mall, right before we left, Perri got mad, im not too sure what about, but it made me upset that she was angry. So I showed that I was upset, and Eric got kinda pissed because of it. So I said that I would just go home, and Kevin said he didn’t want me to. So I went with them, still sensing the tension in the air. So we get to Kevins house, and we all go into his room, and I make one move on Kevin, barely anything, and eric got mad. Then they left to Chris’s without me or Kevin, and I said to Kevin, im going to walk home, get my stuff, I know they don’t want me here. So he put up little argument, and had his mom drive me home. I told him that today was my fault, and that it wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t of been there, and then I went home. I wanted to walk, thinking that maybe someone would care and like follow me and reassure me that everything was okay or something, but nope. So I come home, feeling extremely unwanted, and called around for someone to talk to, because the rejection had basically put me to tears anyhow. So I talk to mike, and within explaining to him how I felt, I got hysterical.. well almost. And Mike told me it wasn’t me, and trying to make me feel better. Then he told me that I should talk to eric or Kevin, but I knew it would make things worse, because the whole reason that I left was so they would feel better and stop being so uptight, cuz I really felt responsible. I shouldn’t have been there, and I knew it. So mike told me that he was going to talk to them, and call me back. I talked to perri, then, and told her what was wrong, and she flipped out kinda, and totally wasn’t mad at me anymore, which was good. And 20 minutes later mike called me back. And sounding really upset, told me that he was the only one that showed even the slightest concern for me, and that he loves me to death , like I sister or something I presume, and that even Kevin said I was probably just doing this for attention. So everyone is pissed at me except mike. And perri talked to them all I guess, and Kevin told her that he was the only one who didn’t say I was doing that for attention. Sure, then why the fuck would mike tell me that?> why would mike call me and not him? Why would mike show the slightest concern and not you? Wtf ever. Be mad at me, but don’t fucking think im doing this for attention, clearly, you don’t know a damn thing about me. Clearly you don’t know what upsets me, clearly you don’t how lenient I am, clearly you don’t care about me. A lot less then mike seems to anyway, seeing as how hes the only one out of you guys that called me to try to make me feel better. Why cant you just tell me the truth, and tell me how you feel. Do you have any idea how much I love you? Do you have any idea how much im hurting right now? I don’t think so, because to you, im just doing this for attention.

Let me ask you one thing, does any of this sound familiar?
- i really want things to work out between us
-i will do ne thing to have us back together and happy
-i will try to keep you happy