Forever A Dead End In Reality
At the age of 17-20 I was still living with my parents. I had no job. I was failing Heald School of Technology (Gene may have heard of this place.) I had very few real life friends. No girl. My parents were all over me to do something in my life. I had no idea where I was going or what I was going to do. It was indeed the darkest time of my life.
Prior to what I may have said in the past, I don't really think I have come THAT far from my previous life. I just live in a new place, with different people. I have a job, but no goals or ideas on what to do for my future. I don't want to do this tech support crap all my life. I can't live like this.
What else is there for me to do? I have talent, ideas, I am smart, and catch on quickly to new things. I can write and I can be very artistic. I am funny and argumentive at times. I could have been so many things in life, but I am still nothing. Here are what I think that I could have been in life if I had really applied myself to any of it.
Computer Technician - MCSE and CISCO certified (Like the friend I grew up with is about to be; "Mahou" or as I know him, Ricky.)
Psychiatrist - I have always been good at talking with people about problems and I also seem to have a weird thing about knowing how people think and how things will happen, etc. I can be good at reading people.
Song Writer - I can be pretty good at writing poems and rhymes at times and have always thought about pursuing a career in music.
Lawyer - I have a knack for being able to argue points. I should have been on the mock trial team in school. My father always said that I argued so much that I would argue with a Stop sign. After he told me that, I always pondered doing that (Arguing with the Stop sign.)
Inventor - I have thought of many new ideas for things. I never wrote them down or ever really pursued anything in this matter.
Comedian - I have a lot of stupid humor but I am capable of coming up with joke material. A lot of people have said that I should have been a comedian. Maybe they just say that because I'm a huge smartass.
Porn Star - Okay....this one would just be a dream job. I know it would never happen, but it doesn't hurt to fantasize. ^^
Artist - I took 2 years of Art in High School and was so close to joining Academy of Art College. The other people in my Art class helped me to realize that I wasn't really that good at all.
Architect - I took Design Drafting in High School. I also took the class for Auto CAD (Computer Aided Drafting.) I did not really apply myself towards this at all.
Web Designer - I took web design classes in High School and also took them in college. I never could make graphics well enough to follow through with this though. I have had many of my own websites over the years.
When it all comes down to it, I was my own worst enemy. I had so many choices in life and let them all slip through my fingers. I cannot make any choices for myself. I have always been told what to do and when to do it and then I choose to listen or sit on my ass.
Every question I am asked these days ends with me saying "I don't care." or "I don't know."
"Where do you want to eat Tyler?"
I don't care.
"What do you want to do Tyler?"
I don't care.
"When are you going to do this Tyler?"
I don't know.
My entire life is without any direction. I am unsure how to fix this. Without taking any steps forward I will forever be stuck in this rut I call "my life."
Prior to what I may have said in the past, I don't really think I have come THAT far from my previous life. I just live in a new place, with different people. I have a job, but no goals or ideas on what to do for my future. I don't want to do this tech support crap all my life. I can't live like this.
What else is there for me to do? I have talent, ideas, I am smart, and catch on quickly to new things. I can write and I can be very artistic. I am funny and argumentive at times. I could have been so many things in life, but I am still nothing. Here are what I think that I could have been in life if I had really applied myself to any of it.
Computer Technician - MCSE and CISCO certified (Like the friend I grew up with is about to be; "Mahou" or as I know him, Ricky.)
Psychiatrist - I have always been good at talking with people about problems and I also seem to have a weird thing about knowing how people think and how things will happen, etc. I can be good at reading people.
Song Writer - I can be pretty good at writing poems and rhymes at times and have always thought about pursuing a career in music.
Lawyer - I have a knack for being able to argue points. I should have been on the mock trial team in school. My father always said that I argued so much that I would argue with a Stop sign. After he told me that, I always pondered doing that (Arguing with the Stop sign.)
Inventor - I have thought of many new ideas for things. I never wrote them down or ever really pursued anything in this matter.
Comedian - I have a lot of stupid humor but I am capable of coming up with joke material. A lot of people have said that I should have been a comedian. Maybe they just say that because I'm a huge smartass.
Porn Star - Okay....this one would just be a dream job. I know it would never happen, but it doesn't hurt to fantasize. ^^
Artist - I took 2 years of Art in High School and was so close to joining Academy of Art College. The other people in my Art class helped me to realize that I wasn't really that good at all.
Architect - I took Design Drafting in High School. I also took the class for Auto CAD (Computer Aided Drafting.) I did not really apply myself towards this at all.
Web Designer - I took web design classes in High School and also took them in college. I never could make graphics well enough to follow through with this though. I have had many of my own websites over the years.
When it all comes down to it, I was my own worst enemy. I had so many choices in life and let them all slip through my fingers. I cannot make any choices for myself. I have always been told what to do and when to do it and then I choose to listen or sit on my ass.
Every question I am asked these days ends with me saying "I don't care." or "I don't know."
"Where do you want to eat Tyler?"
I don't care.
"What do you want to do Tyler?"
I don't care.
"When are you going to do this Tyler?"
I don't know.
My entire life is without any direction. I am unsure how to fix this. Without taking any steps forward I will forever be stuck in this rut I call "my life."