no one fucking understands
Like my headline stated no one fucking understands how hurt I am inside, even though I do not show it I am fucking hurt real bad. And it just feels like no one will begin to understand why I am so. If you couldn't already guess it is because of my ex-girlfriend Sara, after what I heard yesterday(basically at the East Haven fireworks Sara tried to fight my cousin Nicole and Sara was with a new guy and they were all over each other) I had to call the girl. So I did and a guy answered and I calmly stated that I needed to talk to Sara and did not want any problems. I was calm and precise in my words, for once I did not scream and yell and told Sara that she needs to leave my family out of this, they have nothing to do with what happened between us so let them be. Then I proceeded to tell Sara that she was very slutty for only being broken up with me for about two weeks now and her she is with some new guy kissing and all that mumbo jumbo, and no doubt fucking. What I come to think is that she had been seeing this kid when we were still dating, it all makes sense to me, how else could she suddenly have another relationship? That and the whole thing with Sara having a new boyfriend just fucking killed off whatever heart still lay in my chest, and no one can fucking understand that. Sara was my first legitimate girlfriend, the only girl I have ever loved and the only girl I ever truly felt comfortable around to be myself. Not to mention she was the only girl who ever gave me the chance. And I just do not know where it all went wrong. Our relationship would be going great then she would come after me with all these bogus accusations of not being there for her when I was with the girl almost 24/7. I blew friendships with people I considered like family for her, and gave up 95 percent of my free time to spend with her because I loved her so fucking much, to the point where I couldn't even imagine myself with anyone but her, and even through all the petty fights and her not always making the best decisions I still kept with her because I believed that true love could never be broken, and the truth is even after all the bad shit I have said and all the times I have been making fun of her it is because I am afraid to let my true feelings out, that I do care about her still, that I do have feelings there, that at night I cant help but sit there and think of what the fuck went wrong and why. And I cant even sleep because it plagues me there, and when I found out that she already has been fooling around with another guy I just broke down inside. I just don't understand why? Why/how could she just go and start fucking another guy just two weeks after breaking up, after all the times she said I was the best thing that ever happened, how she would look in my eyes and say she would always love me. And now i can see they were all lies, and I just don't know why all this had to happen. If there was a way to go back in time I would just to try to save what we had, but I know it is not worth it but i just cant help but feel this way. I have all these questions that I know will just never be answered. I am gonna be feeling like shit inside for a long ass time.
If I could have just one thing, just one fucking break/wish to come true it would be a day to sit with the girl and ask her all these questions I have inside and get nothing but the truth, that is all I want...just one day to sit and talk to Sara, shut out everything else going on in the world around us and just fucking talk,but I know that is never going to happen.
If I could have just one thing, just one fucking break/wish to come true it would be a day to sit with the girl and ask her all these questions I have inside and get nothing but the truth, that is all I want...just one day to sit and talk to Sara, shut out everything else going on in the world around us and just fucking talk,but I know that is never going to happen.