SEX

[formerdinosaur]

Okay first of all: when I was in college I took a playwriting class where we had to stay up all night and write a ten minute long play, and this flamboyant guy in the class who was also very witty decided at like 4 in the morning that he was going to title his play SEX (though it was about, like, middle-aged sisters fighting, or something?) and at

Comments

[brimbelle]

omg yeeeesss
but they will still tear up in their sixties when they think about how beautiful and perfect it was.
It resumes very well what I think of their relationship, they're made of awkward moments but they are quite sure their love is ~special~ and ~beautiful~

And I agree with almost everything you said!

- Actually I have a hard time thinking of Cartman as anything else than a bottom in a m/m relationship. Like, I have this weird headcanon for his first time, he'd be all "i'm gonna top you like you've never been topped" to his partner and everything but he don't actually know how to do it properly, and he's so conceited and don't want his partner to think he isn't a good lay so he'd pretend to change his mind "Fuck me, actually" just to see how to do it. And then he'd like it.
But my gosh he makes the most fabulous couple with Wendy, and they do weird roleplaying where Cartman is a giant Axe deodorant bottle so Wendy can rant about his misogynist ad campaigns then has glorious fuck with him when she wins the "argument".

- Craig shaves almost every hair on his body, and Clyde's not so happy about it so one day he comes back to their bedroom entirely shaved to show Craig what it's like to have sex with an hairless person, but Craig just looks at him, says they're not fucking until everything grows back, and leaves.
Clyde never shaved again.

Okay I have more but I really need to sleep right now.
(oh i'm paramecie on tumblr btw)

[kingdra]

they do weird roleplaying where Cartman is a giant Axe deodorant bottle so Wendy can rant about his misogynist ad campaigns then has glorious fuck with him when she wins the "argument".

o m g

[shannanananana]

he'd be all "i'm gonna top you like you've never been topped" to his partner and everything but he don't actually know how to do it properly, and he's so conceited and don't want his partner to think he isn't a good lay so he'd pretend to change his mind "Fuck me, actually" just to see how to do it. And then he'd like it.

PERF

they do weird roleplaying where Cartman is a giant Axe deodorant bottle so Wendy can rant about his misogynist ad campaigns then has glorious fuck with him when she wins the "argument".

og my fisackjing fgod the noise i just made

[kyley_b]

omg this has nothing to do with headcanons, but I kind of stalk you on Tumblr, hi.

[brimbelle]

Oh hi! I like stalkers, who are you on tumblr so I can stalk you too?

[kyley_b]

I'm broflove! Aka the loser who likes everything you post.

[brimbelle]

Well, liking everything I post makes you a perfect person in my opinion.

[formerdinosaur]

I do love bottom Cartman, and I think he would be a really shameless, squealing bottom, too. I love the idea that he would talk a big game about topping and then be like, 'can you spank me and can I call you daddy?'

lol yes, Craig finds hair marring his perfect body to be an abomination, but he wants Clyde smelly and lumberjack-looking. Secretly, he enjoys Clyde's company because Clyde makes him feel elegant and astute in comparison.