[Synopsis.]
[From journal entry on December 27, 2009]
Story of a person that has death and suffering around him from birth.
People he knows are constantly dying and as he grows older he begins to notice this. [This is a disproportionate amount of death and it seems like someone every week dies.] He takes steps to try and put this into some perspective. From a very early age he reads heavy books to find some answers. He seeks answers to try and find how to fix this hugely uncommon thing. [At the very least once every month someone he is close to drops dead or is killed.] He learns that most people he knows or meets have never really experienced this and maybe have only had a grandparent die. Some have never been to a funeral before at all.
He fears for his family and his friends.
He acts crazed from the fear that this will happen to him soon. [Convinced he will die when he is 24 he behaves irrationally and unskillfully and ends up in some serious trouble and leaves people hurting behind him.] Time passes more and he still has this cloud of death around him and feels like this means he is bad luck.
He stays away from people and also feels like he might be best in jail so that if he is bad luck then the only people that would suffer around him would be criminals. He spends a great deal of time in prisons and under some form of probation so that he can be monitored and have his freedoms limited.
Nothing changes with regard to people continually dying. He gets flashes and premonitions about certain people and it turns out that these people will also, coincidentally, die. As if just merely thinking of these people will somehow cause their death. [Phil Hartmann, Akira Kurasawa, INXS, et cetera.]
Dyer character: Affinity instantly with name like Dyer. As in one who dies. Plus the Led Zepplin song Dyer Maker and the lyrics:
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
You don't have to go, oh oh oh oh
You don't have to go, oh oh oh oh
You don't have to go
I I I I I I
All those tears I cry, I I I I
All those tears I cry, oh oh, I I
Baby, please don't go
He runs away and does things like not letting people know where he is and changes his name and drops off the proverbial grid by never having a bank account or utilities or a lease. Still more death.
He resorts to drug use and drinking and makes some progress but never gets to the answer.
He learns that this is something that is beyond his control. He accepts that this is the way things are and treats people with some absurd levels of kindness. He begins to extend kindness to people that may not normally receive it and takes homeless people in and offers his paycheck to homeless shelters. [Hitchhikers wherever they want to go. Even to Cincinnati.]
He decides it might be good advice to follow a Buddhist approach and treat everyone as if they will only have 30 minutes left to live. Live your life that same way. As if you will be dead in 30 minutes. How do you want to spend that last 30 minutes? With happiness in your heart while you are making someone else happy at the same time? Or die angry and hurting and fearful while leaving others to feel that same way too?
In between all of this he meets some friends that don't die and that he loves and that love him back. There is some nice romance story line in there too, I guess, and there is some happy ending.
Also, “Once we have granted that any physical theory is essentially only a model for the world of experience,” Hugh Everett concluded in the unedited version of his dissertation, “we must renounce all hope of finding anything like the correct theory ... simply because the totality of experience is never accessible to us.”
Also, as background, a song.
Story of a person that has death and suffering around him from birth.
People he knows are constantly dying and as he grows older he begins to notice this. [This is a disproportionate amount of death and it seems like someone every week dies.] He takes steps to try and put this into some perspective. From a very early age he reads heavy books to find some answers. He seeks answers to try and find how to fix this hugely uncommon thing. [At the very least once every month someone he is close to drops dead or is killed.] He learns that most people he knows or meets have never really experienced this and maybe have only had a grandparent die. Some have never been to a funeral before at all.
He fears for his family and his friends.
He acts crazed from the fear that this will happen to him soon. [Convinced he will die when he is 24 he behaves irrationally and unskillfully and ends up in some serious trouble and leaves people hurting behind him.] Time passes more and he still has this cloud of death around him and feels like this means he is bad luck.
He stays away from people and also feels like he might be best in jail so that if he is bad luck then the only people that would suffer around him would be criminals. He spends a great deal of time in prisons and under some form of probation so that he can be monitored and have his freedoms limited.
Nothing changes with regard to people continually dying. He gets flashes and premonitions about certain people and it turns out that these people will also, coincidentally, die. As if just merely thinking of these people will somehow cause their death. [Phil Hartmann, Akira Kurasawa, INXS, et cetera.]
Dyer character: Affinity instantly with name like Dyer. As in one who dies. Plus the Led Zepplin song Dyer Maker and the lyrics:
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
You don't have to go, oh oh oh oh
You don't have to go, oh oh oh oh
You don't have to go
I I I I I I
All those tears I cry, I I I I
All those tears I cry, oh oh, I I
Baby, please don't go
He runs away and does things like not letting people know where he is and changes his name and drops off the proverbial grid by never having a bank account or utilities or a lease. Still more death.
He resorts to drug use and drinking and makes some progress but never gets to the answer.
He learns that this is something that is beyond his control. He accepts that this is the way things are and treats people with some absurd levels of kindness. He begins to extend kindness to people that may not normally receive it and takes homeless people in and offers his paycheck to homeless shelters. [Hitchhikers wherever they want to go. Even to Cincinnati.]
He decides it might be good advice to follow a Buddhist approach and treat everyone as if they will only have 30 minutes left to live. Live your life that same way. As if you will be dead in 30 minutes. How do you want to spend that last 30 minutes? With happiness in your heart while you are making someone else happy at the same time? Or die angry and hurting and fearful while leaving others to feel that same way too?
In between all of this he meets some friends that don't die and that he loves and that love him back. There is some nice romance story line in there too, I guess, and there is some happy ending.
Also, “Once we have granted that any physical theory is essentially only a model for the world of experience,” Hugh Everett concluded in the unedited version of his dissertation, “we must renounce all hope of finding anything like the correct theory ... simply because the totality of experience is never accessible to us.”
Also, as background, a song.